A alone boy

There were many people at our house that day, including relatives from my grandparents’ side. They had all gathered to judge the conflict between my father and mother. At that time, I was only three years old. I was playing alone in the yard, too young to understand what was happening around me. After the discussion ended, my mother left with my elder brother and uncle. I thought she was only going somewhere for a little while and would return soon. But night came, and my mother still did not return. I sat outside the house waiting for her. In my little mind, I kept thinking that maybe my mother would come back with my father. My sister tried many times to take me inside, but I refused. Hours passed. Late at night, my father finally returned home alone. He gently picked me up and carried me inside. My father loved me very much. He bathed me, fed me with his own hands, and held me close. After seeing him, I forgot my sadness about my mother for a while. I hugged my father tightly and fell asleep in his arms. But when I woke up the next morning, my father was gone again. I searched for him everywhere in the house but couldn’t find him. Once again, I sat beside the road, staring into the distance, hoping my mother would return that day. But the whole day passed, and she never came. Late that night, my father returned once more. He picked me up lovingly and immediately understood that I had not eaten anything all day. He became angry with my stepmother for neglecting me. Then he fed me himself. That became my daily life. Whenever my father scolded my stepmother, she would give me food afterward, but never with the warmth and affection my father showed me. Days turned into weeks. I kept waiting for my mother, but she never returned for me. At the end of every day, only my father came home. Slowly, I stopped waiting for my mother. Instead, I began waiting only for my father. Every evening, I would think, “When will Dad come home?” Then one day, suddenly, my mother returned to take me away. After such a long time, I finally saw her again, and I went with her to my grandparents’ house. At that age, I could not understand how heartbroken my father would feel when he came home and could not find me there. There was a river beside my grandparents’ house. When my father returned home and learned that I was gone, he immediately rushed to the riverbank searching for me. All night long, he stood there crying and calling my name. Even today, when I close my eyes, I can still hear my father’s voice echoing from the riverbank. But my mother never allowed me to go back to him. In the end, I was deprived of both my father’s love and my mother’s love. Leaving my father was the mistake of an innocent child who understood nothing. After I came to live at my grandparents’ house, everyone loved and adored me. I was a cute, fair-skinned little boy. My grandmother, maternal uncles, and aunts all cared for me deeply. My elder brother loved me the most. Let me tell you a little about my family. My mother’s first marriage was to my elder uncle. After nine long years of marriage, my elder brother was born. But before he was born, my great uncle died in an accident. Thinking about my brother’s future, my mother later married my father. Everyone believed my father would raise his nephew as his own son. My father had already been married once before, so my mother became his second wife. Five years after my mother married my father, my sister was born. Three years later, I was born. We were three siblings, though my elder brother was technically my cousin because he had a different father, even though we shared the same mother. But while growing up together in my grandparents’ house, I never understood that difference. To me, he was more than a real brother. I spent seven years at my grandparents’ house. At that time, I was studying in class five. I was a very good student. I had two close friends there—my cousins. We studied, played, and went to school together. They never left me alone. They were my only playmates. But once again, a storm entered my happy life. My elder brother had become an adult. One day, he had an argument with our uncle and decided he would no longer stay at my grandparents’ house. Since he was the only son of my great uncle, he inherited all of his father’s property. He had as much wealth as my father. He decided to build a house beside his father’s old house. He convinced my mother to move with him. My mother sold the land she had inherited from her family, and together they started building the house. We moved into the new home before it was fully completed. That was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. There was no wall between my father’s house and my brother’s house. I saw my father every day, but he hardly spoke to me. He loved my stepbrothers and stepsisters dearly, but I felt that he no longer loved me. From a distance, I watched them eat and spend time with him like a happy family. It hurt deeply whenever they called him “Father” in front of me. I no longer wanted to see those things. I often wished I could go somewhere far away. Muslims celebrate two major religious festivals every year. During Eid, children wear new clothes, and families gather to eat pulao and meat together. My brother would buy me new clothes too. Even if I didn’t like them, I never complained. I accepted whatever he gave me because I always felt that he was my cousin, not truly my responsibility to ask anything from. What I truly wanted was my father’s love. But I was the one who had left him. My father cried a lot that day when I left, but I never returned. Over time, I convinced myself that I didn’t need my father’s affection because I had my brother. My mother loved me very much at that time, and life continued like this for two more years. I was then in class seven. Later, my elder brother married after a love affair. After the marriage, my sister-in-law loved and cared for me. But soon another problem began. My sister secretly fell in love with one of my brother’s friends. The boy was not good, and neither was his family. He was also much older than my sister. When my brother found out, he became furious, though my mother supported the relationship. My brother asked me to keep an eye on my sister. If she spoke to the boy on the phone, I was supposed to tell him. I didn’t like the boy either. One day, the boy secretly gave my sister a mobile phone. Only my mother knew about it. Later, I saw my sister talking on the phone and informed my brother. After that, my father scolded my siblings harshly. But my sister denied everything and called me a liar. From that moment on, my mother changed toward me. They constantly called me a liar and told me to stay with my father and brother instead of coming near them. Whenever I went to eat, they would say, “Doesn’t your father and brother feed you? Why have you come here?” That was the beginning of my lonely life outside the home. Every morning, I would leave the house early. When I became too hungry, I would secretly return home and steal food so my mother wouldn’t see me. Sometimes, late at night, I ate quietly with my brother because he never insulted me in front of others. I slowly lost all interest in studying. If I failed to complete my homework, my teachers insulted and beat me. Eventually, I stopped going to school altogether. Later, my sister married that same boy. But I could never forget my mother’s neglect. I always felt alone. Somehow, I passed class seven and entered class eight. But my brother remained unhappy about my sister’s marriage, and arguments between my mother and brother became frequent. One day, after a heated argument, my mother and sister left for my grandparents’ house. But I stayed behind because I was afraid to sleep alone at night. That night, I lit a candle before sleeping. While I slept, my hand accidentally knocked the candle over onto the bed. Suddenly, I woke up feeling the heat of the fire. I screamed, and my brother and sister-in-law rushed from the next room to save me. That day, God saved my life. But eventually, because of all the conflict, my brother and sister-in-law separated. My sister went to live with her husband’s family. Then my brother forced me to stay at my father’s house. But I could not stay there and followed my brother instead. Later, my brother asked me to stay with my mother. At that moment, I realized I had lost everything. First, I was deprived of my father’s love. Then I became a victim of my mother’s neglect. Finally, the brother I loved most also left me behind. At that time, the only thought in my mind was to leave home and disappear somewhere far away. My education ended there. ---