Seeing double

At 30 years old i would never have imagined i would be sitting waiting at a restaurant bar for my blind date. Yes, you heard that right. A. Blind. Date. At 30. My friends think my love life is pathetic, although they wont say that to my face. More like i should 'get out more' so i agreed for them to set me up on a blind date, they didn't have much information to give me on the guy. i gave them my hard no's which is basically everything that would describe my ex and they set it up. So here i am currently standing at the bar (half an hour early might i add) dressed up for the first time in god knows how long ready to meet this mystery man. I cant help but scan the bar area and notice everyone here either loved up or at business meetings or out with their friends the atmosphere is light and bubbly and its almost contagious. ALMOST. These butterflies in my stomach are making me sick and no matter how many deep breaths or sips of my drink i take they wont seem to settle down. I used to be a social butterfly as they say but my ex put a stop to that years ago, i thought we were going to be childhood sweethearts but i eventually saw his true colors. It may have took me 5 years to see them but i eventually saw what everyone else around me did. He used his emotions and my love for him to manipulate me and by god it worked i was well and truly trapped by this man. I practically worshiped the ground he walked on while he left a trail of broken glass for me to crawl on after him. He shattered me and honestly i don't think i have gotten over it or ever will get over it.