DUCANI LEGACY SERIES 11: Kali

Kabanata 23

PASADO alas onse na ng gabi nang marinig ni Eldritch ang katok sa pinto ng kanyang unit. He was already upset and feeling frustrated because of the jealousy brewing in his system since Kali left to see his ex.

Tumayo siya't lumapit sa pinto upang buksan iyon. Bumungad sa kanya ang tila nag-aalalang mukha ni Kali. Tila ba alam nito na napasama nito ang loob niya.

"Let me explain, baby," kaagad nitong sabi. Siguro ay natakot dahil nagtanong siya kanina sa chat kung ex ba nito ang pinuntahan nito.

Eldritch sighed. Tinalikuran niya ito saka siya bumalik sa pagkakaupo sa sofa. Isinara naman ni Kali ang pinto bago ito lumapit at naupo sa kanyang tabi.

Sandali siyang pinakiramdaman ni Kali. Maya-maya ay kinuha nito ang kamay niya't pinagsalikop ang kanilang mga palad. "Look at me, E."

He clenched his jaw before he gave Kali a cold stare. Hindi siya nagsalita kaya lalong gumuhit sa mukha ni Kali ang pag-aalala.

Kali sighed. "She was invited to her friend's party but some dude started to harass her. Hindi niya ma-contact ang mga pinsan at kapatid niya. I swear, I just helped her get out of the place and go home. Dumating din ang kapatid niya bago pa kami nakaalis sa lugar." Kali's begging eyes stared at him with desperation. "I was a good boy, baby."

Eldritch swallowed the lump in his throat before he forced a smile at Kali when he realized something. "Ayos lang pala dapat. Hindi kita dapat sakalin."

Kali's forehead wrinkled. Maya-maya ay bumuntonghininga ito bago marahang piniga ang kanyang kamay. "You can be possessive towards me and I'd still be the happiest man on Earth, because I wanna be possessive with you, too. Well, in a much healthier way, of course."

"Is there a healthier way of being possessive even?"

"I just don't have the right term for it but I want you exclusively. I'm sorry if I somehow made you feel earlier that your opinion doesn't matter. I should've asked you first how you would feel if I'd go to Astra. Oh kaya dapat isinama na lang kita."

Umiling si Elritch. "Baka masakal lang kita kung palagi mong tatanungin at iko-consider ang mararamdaman ko, Kali."

"Ang masasakal lang sa gano'ng sistema ay ang mga taong hindi kayang magbigay ng reassurance sa partner nila. I don't want to put you in a position where you will constantly doubt how I feel for you, Eldritch. Pakikinggan kita. I'll value your opinion and become more sensitive with how you feel, because that's what you deserve." Kali smiled. "I'm sorry, baby. This would be the last time that this will happen." Hinalikan nito ang likod ng kamay niya. "I'm really sorry . . ."

His heart warmed yet there was something that made him feel uncomfortable. Siguro dahil hindi siya sanay sa ganoon. Sanay siya na kailangan niyang intindihin ang lahat kahit na nakokompromiso na ang nararamdaman niya. Kaya ngayong mayroong taong handang i-prioritize ang mararamdaman niya, para bang hindi matanggap ng sistema niya.

He sighed. "I feel . . . a little uncomfortable, but please let me get used to this."

"I understand. You can tell me why you think it's uncomfortable," Kali said with sincerity as if he's silently giving him the assurance that he will never judge Eldritch.

Sandaling nag-isip si Eldritch bago siya tuluyang tumikhim. "While growing up, hindi naman importante kung ano ang gusto ko para sa sarili ko. I have to do what pleases my father. Kapag nakakaramdam ako ng lungkot o sama ng loob, pagagalitan ako dahil wala akong karapatan kasi iniisip lang naman ang makabubuti para sa akin. Now that you are giving value to my opinion, and you're acknowledging my feelings, pakiramdam ko . . . hindi sanay ang katawan ko. Ang sistema ko."

Kali gently rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb before he flashed a half smile. "Just because you're used to it doesn't mean you have to keep living that way, baby. I wanna love you right. I want you to still have your voice. Your individuality. Because no one deserves to lose their voice and their sense of self in the process of proving that they love the other person. Hindi mo kailangang matakot na sabihin sa akin kung paano kita dapat mahalin. That's one common dilemma in relationships. Iniisip ng iba na dapat alam ng partner nila kung paano dapat sila mahalin, but no. I wanna understand you. I wanna know how certain things make you feel. I want you to see that I listen to you. That I hear you. Hindi mo kailangang pagtakpan ang nararamdaman mo para lang hindi ako mawala, dahil hindi ako mawawala sa'yo. Hindi mo ko masasakal, dahil hindi pananakal ang tawag do'n, Eldritch. That's communicating how you feel and allowing me to acknowledge it."

Eldritch sighed as his eyes softened. "When did I buy a lottery ticket for me to win the jackpot?"

Kali scoffed. Maya-maya ay inilapit nito ang mukha sa kanya upang halikan siya sa mga labi. Pumikit naman siya't ginantihan ang mga halik nito.

Eldritch slowly felt the weight in his heart slowly leaving his body. It was replaced by the genuine love he didn't know he would still experience in this lifetime. Akala niya noon ay dahil sa hindi siya tunay na lalake ay hindi na rin niya matitikman ang ganitong klase ng pagmamahal, ngunit heto ngayon si Kali, pinatutunayan sa kanya na hindi basehan ang kasarian para maranasang magmahal at mahalin.

He pulled away from their kiss when he suddenly remembered something. Kali opened his eyes. Namumungay pa at tila lasing pa sa naputol na halik.

"Why?" Kali asked in a breathy way.

Lumunok si Eldritch. "I uh . . . I know you're used to . . . you know, having high s*x drive. In case you feel the need to . . . use some women to sate yourself, I will understand."

Kali shook his head. "No."

"Ayos lang-"

"Hindi okay sa'kin." He clenched his jaw. "I wasn't raised to be a cheater, Eldritch. If I want a release, then I'll do it myself if you're not ready to engage into any s****l activities with me."

Lumakas ang t***k ng puso ni Eldritch. "I don't . . . know how to do any of that . . . but maybe we can try sometimes."

Kali sighed. "We'll try it if you actually wanna do it, too." He kissed her lips. "Not just because you feel the need to satisfy me. My feelings for you isn't living in my balls. It's in my heart."

Nagkatitigan sila. Maya-maya ay sabay na natawa dahil sa huli nitong sinabi.

"That mind of yours is really something, huh?" ani Eldritch.

Kali smirked. "And you are running inside of it all the time . . ."