Two hearts entwined

No school

The week went by quite quickly, I hadn’t seen Clay again not that I expected to, I think his parents sent him over to be polite and at least at minimum it was someone I could smile at and at least a familiar face.

Over the weekend Dad returned from work as he did most weekends. It was nice to have someone not so intense in the house again, but apart from a new house the routine mainly stayed the same, Mom was still working furiously in her new office which now was apparently far from a basement room and seemed somewhat quite her new home. I stayed mainly in my room I worked in the day and went down for meals and would return back to my room, as isolating as it was it was much preferred to being around Mom who I’m sure was slowly loosing it.

With Mom and Dad visiting his parents for the day and me unwell I was left at home to rest and not give Gran and Grandad my cold, I’m actual fact I’d not seen them since I was 7, I remembered them of course from the photos and the time they came over but when they last visited I was told to remember my manners and in some aspects it was hard gran had dementia so often referred to me as Lucie, Grandad barley spoke he gave me a lemon sherbet and told me to look after myself. I remember that visit so well because after dinner there was an argument between Grandad and Mom I was sent upstairs as always, but far from being stuck in my room I was, I overheard some bits Mom yelling something about protecting us, Grandads low harsh voice barley even a whisper replying with, you’ve actually lost it, you need help!

After that I always seemed to get left at home, I most of the time would come down with a cold or flu and be in bed, which in reality I really didn’t mind.

Today though I was tired of being tired so I got up to get some juice from the kitchen, on the way I stood by the door to the new office (basement in my opinion) with my hand on the handle I knew I shouldn’t but when someone says no I feel like your automatically inviting them to do it, I pulled the handle .. but nothing it was locked, whilst this seemed odd at first I remembered Moms words of confidentiality and important businesses and guessed maybe for some reason or another she had to lock all her work away at the moment. I got my drink and padded softly back up the beige hallway to my room, stopping at the door to the yellow room. I can’t call it Lucie’s room it feels wrong. I opened the door and walked in carful not to disturb the air as Mom was bound to notice.

What struck me as odd was it wasn’t the same, well it was in one sense the bed and covers her stuffed animals on a shelf I’d seen it all before but now there was more, a new dresser, like the white oak one I’d seen in a department store but Mom had said was to expensive. A towel and toothbrush in the en-suite, i felt a sudden urge of sadness not for my sister but my Mother who quite clearly couldn’t get past this. I noticed the door the the built in mirrored wardrobe was slightly open, I let my fingers linger on the cool, smooth glass and then pulled it open.. “what the f**k!” Her clothes where brimming the closet, but that was it they weren’t her clothes, they were new and even stranger my size. Maybe she just wants to feel like she is still here and this is what she would be wearing now? But it still felt all a little strange.

A photo frame reflected in the sunlight and caught my eye, I walked over and picked it up, that’s odd, it was very familiar not me and Lucie just her, sat on a picnic bench with a face full of ice cream..

I ran to my room and returned with my own photo in my hands, I stood them side by side, in this photo I was sat in a paddling pool about aged 8, Lucie would have been under 6 and whilst on are joint photos we looked the same in this one something struck me as off. My hair was a lot darker and her light almost to light to blame it in the summer sun, her nose was turned up at the end something mine didn’t do, and whilst I was all chubby and round in my bather, Lucie had a different face shape longer than mine almost! Maybe we grew to look the same it’s hard to pinpoint her age she could have been anywhere from 3-5, maybe it was the lighting and angle of the pictures I thought? I started to feel dizzy so returned the photo wiped the edges and closed the door tightly behind me.

I’ll ask Dad if I can go through the albums again when he’s home, the last time I asked Mom I was told they where packed for safe keeping.. just as another thought struck me I heard the tyres of the keep pull across the gravel stopping me in my tracks I returned to my room and slipped into bed. Feeling a little worse now I slipped into a long sleep before I’d even seen Mom and Dad.

The next morning I woke up in a state I couldn’t see properly my head felt heavy and my heart was racing, I called for Mom who came quickly “ oh darling your getting worse, I’ll call the school don’t worry we can re arrange” I tried to argue but she was gone.

It was from that moment my story began to unfold, the problem was is I genuinely believed I’d be going once I was better, my Mother she had other ideas!