SHADOWS OF THE PAST

Chapter 04

I wake up and he's nowhere near me, then I remember, he rejected me yesterday, tears make their way down and I let them.

Having him reject me like that hurt, more than his betrayal. I check the time and it's after six, I need to go to school sigh. I'm tired really, but I need to do this, I will be graduating this year, well… In a months’ time.

When I get downstairs, I find no one, good. I'm not ready to face him yet. I grab a granola bar and walk out, Roy is waiting for me in the foyer. "morning Roy"

"morning mam, I'll take that thank you" he gestures to my bag, so I give it to him.

****

"hey Bells, can you grab that for me" he points to his hockey stick.

"sure, anything else?" he looks around, his finger on his lip, something he likes to do when he's thinking, "no… That’s all I think" he says but he's still looking around. Oooh Lucas. "ooh yes, now I remember, I need a favor from you"

"okay what is it?" I'm excited, "here" he hands me a jersey "I want you to wear this jersey, my jersey and be my cheerleader" he has a stupid smirk on his face. "Done!" I exclaim. I'm excited to be doing this for him, if cheering for him is what He want, then I'm all for it, he's done way so much for I can't even begin to repay him.

****

"mam we here" I look out the window and we at the school gate, "thank you Roy" I step out and immediately I'm lifted it to the, what the f**k. "we missed you, girl"

"Matt put me down" it feels like it's been long since I last saw them. "ooh guys, I missed you" lord no… Don’t tell me I'm about to cry, lord no…

We hug and walk the way to the café, like always, we have coffee and doughnuts. But unlike always we missing, Lexy, Rose and Luu are not here. We finish our breakfast and head to class, this year, I'm only doing one thing only which means all of us share classes, well… Except phoebe and Sam.

On our way to class we see Lexy and Luu all over each other, if it was any other day, I would be happy for him, but then it's today and I don't want him anywhere near me. He betrayed me in the worst way possible.

"where has he been" Sam asks next to me, i turn and they all looking at me, i raise my one eyebrow and shrugg my shoulders. "Lexy has been a mess I'll tell you that"

I need to make time and talk to her, since the Rose incident she and I have not spoken much, yest there was the good and wine tasting thing but it was not the same, we should have a one on one conversation and talk.

****

"so… You leaving me" tears were threatening to come out, but I have to act tough. "no way Bells, I'm only going to college, I'll see you every weekend I promise" he brings me into his arms and I let my tears fall "it won't be the same" I manage to say between hiccups.

"I know but you know every Saturday are always reserved for you Ballerina" we chuckle because of the nickname. Dad used to call me with it, back when things were still the same and I was his favorite person in the whole entire world, he called me that because I remember once telling him I wanna try ballet, he signed me up for classes, i sucked! But like the great dad he was, he cheered me on. He even called me Ballerina. Now looking back, they feel distant, all the memories I have of him are tainted by all the marks I have on by back and legs, he's not the father I knew.

"look on the bright sight, Rose won't be all up in your face anymore" I laugh. "well… Thats the only good thing about you going to collage" he pulled me in a hug and laughed "I'm so gonna miss your humor Bells" yeah and I'm so gonna miss having you around, but I guess all good things come to an end, somehow I'm gonna have to learn to stand up on my own and not rely on you this much

****

Well I guess that time is now. I need to stand up on my own, but what hurt, I'm standing against the ones I love. Luu… Lu Is a better half of me, he's always been there for me through everything and for him to do this to me hurts but the funny part, I'm more hurt by what Travis did. His is the altimate betrayal, he's supposed to be my husband. Funny I was starting to get used to us being married, then he dropped a bomb on me. We not really married. I swear I felt the air leave my lungs. I died right there.

Though out the whole lessons, i only had one thing in mind 'he rejected me’ it hurt, just the other night he had his way with me and now… Now he doesn't want me? What changed. What happened. I need to know; he owes me that. Roy picked me ip just after my last class, I asked he pass by kfc I wanted their dunked wings, I'm busy endulging in them and going over what I'm gonna say to him when I get home.

*hear me out please *-Luu

Sigh… Luu… What am I gonna do with you.

Immediately when the I entered I felt his absence. I turned and looked at Roy "where is he" he kept a straight face. "he said you not wait up for him mam" he's lying I know that.

"okay, can you please take me somewhere"

"mam… HeHe said to not let you leave the house" no s**t.

"if he can, I can most definitely do it too right, are you gonna take me or do I need to take myself?"

"after you, mam"

"thank you"

I took out my phone and sent a text. Well… IfIf this is how he wants things to be like, he better remembers that It take two to tango.

****

He's the one that wanted to meet up yet I get to wait for him. How does that work? I've been here for… OoOooh, it's only ever been five minutes, mxm. Well it has been long for me.

"is this seat taken" I look up and I'm met by somehow a familiar Blue-Grey eyes. But my mood won't allow me to entertain anyone so I say yes.

"alright then" he bows his head a little and walks away to a woman. Mother fucker. Some men are just nasty, what was he even doing here? I look at him again and both he and the woman are looking at me the f**k

"sorry I'm late" he pulls out the chair and sits down. Mxm.

"what's this about Lucas" he quickly turns his head up and looks at me, more like inspecting.

"has it come to this now?"ooh… ItIt has come to a whole lot I'll tell you that." okay, first of, I'm really sorry okay. I truly am. I know it might seem like I betrayed you or something but I did not, okay "

Well… He Hasn't said anything to get me to talk so I will shut my mouth. When he sees that I'm not saying anything, he sighs and grabs my arm." I'm really sorry okay, but you know everything I do I do it for you, I always have and I always will Bella, trust me. And it might not seem it, but so does Travis."

"please don't, you know here to bargain for him okay"

He nods his head and calls for a waiter.

"can I have a glass of water please" must be nervous if he wants water. "alright sir, anything else" he asks looking from him to me.

"no thank you" I keep my eyes focused on Luu.

"no… We Will uhm… We Will tell you when we ready to oder thanks"

Who said anything about staying here more than I planned to. Yes, my best friend and I missed him but I won't forgive him just so easily.

Two glasses of mojitos and a plate of beef and vegetables stir fry. Everything is back to normal. We laughing and all seems to be forgotten.

Jesus, how the hell did I think I could stay mad at him, this is my other half here, staying mad at him is like staying mad at me.

"do you know that guy over there" he points out and I look where he's pointing, it's that guy from earlier, he quickly averst his eyes when he sees we looking at him.

"do you know him; he's been staring at you since like I came it"

I shake my head and sip my drink.

"I don't know him; he came to me earlier but…" I shrugg my shoulder because there really is nothing to say. He looks at me and back at the guy, who again, happens to be still looking at me.

"okay, be careful though" whatever that means.

"it's almost eight, I promised Lexy that I would stop by." he says standing up and picking his wallets and keys.

"greet her for me okay" he looks at me in a somewhat weird way before he nods his head. I stand up with and give him a hug because I sit back down.

"you not coming"

"nah, imma sit here and enjoy me this mojito because home, well… you know"

He nods his head "for what is worth, he loves you" I scoff.

"believe what you wanna believe Robinson" he smiles and then walks away.

I sit back down and slump my shoulders back, releasing a sigh. How I wish if was true.

"I wonder what your husband would think when he finds out that you out here, in a restaurant being cozy with another man"

What the f**k! It's that guy from earlier.

"excuse me?" He takes the liberty of sitting down. Like who said you must sit down n****r.

"I mean Carlos, your husband yoh remember him right" okay, this guys are getting weird.

"okay bye" I pick up my things and stand up but not before he says.

"I'd be careful if I were you, deLuca has a tendency of going crazy if he doesn't have his way"

"of course I'd know that, I am his wife after all aren't I" from the corner of my eye I see Roy approaching, he looks, scared? Why would…

"guess husband always gets what he wants doesn't he" then he stands up and leaves.

"Wha was that" not even a hello Bella, how are you, how was your day, I'm sorry about last night.

"my new found shag" I say before leaving him shocked to his feet, like he can't believe I just Said that, well… Better believe it dear husband.