SHADOWS OF THE PAST

Chapter 03

I’M in my car driving when I remember watching her sleep, I've never done that before. I want to protect her with everything I have in me, i… I hated seeing her like that and… a text comes through

*some chocolate fudge and hot wings would Help-Amor

I smile recalling the day I changed her numbers from Isabella to Amor. My subconscious taunted me about it but I'm a man in love, what can I say.

As soon as I get to the office base parking I see all four of them sitting uncomfortably. These fuckers!

Immediately when I reach them, River jumps off the car bonnet, stomping his cigarette bud with his foot. I scoffed.

"what did she say" Lucas ask immediately when I get there. Ruffling my hair in frustration I bit my bottom lip.

"we haven't spoken about it yet" this is so frustrating, I don't even know how I'm going to go about things, I barely have control over anything these days.

"so… How will I let her come with me?"

"Cruise hold up for a second will you" I ruffle my hair once again. "before everything else, Luu you need to come with me, she's pissed and…"

"yeah sure… I Figure that out" he says before I can finish. "do you think she will understand?" that's another one of my problems. Will she?

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Before going home, I pass by the mall to buy the chocolate fudge and the wings she wanted. "tell me, how is she really?" Lucas ask as I get to the till.

"not good" I respond. "hell… It’s a surprise she spoke to me this morning" I paid at the till and we walked out.

All the way home I kept thinking about my life before her, how the hell did I manage but now! Now I can't see myself without her not one bit. She's my drug. f**k! She's my life line.

When I got home, I called out her name, nothing, I checked the bedroom still nothing, I panicked a little. Where could she be? I tried her number and I rang from the bathroom. When I opened the door, I found her head lying on the toilet sit and she was passed out with a sigh, I picked her up and placed her on the bed, covering her with a fleece. I went to flush the toilet and walked out. "what's wrong miBella" I found myself asking, of course she can't answer because she's fallen asleep. I look at her one more time, I can't believe I fell in love amidst everything else, and now… Now I have to protect her with everything in me so I don’t lose her.

After looking at her one last time, I bent my head down a little and kissed her forehead.

"where is she?" Lucas asked as soon as I emerged from the bedroom.

"sleeping" I took her chocolate and placed it in the fridge. "Lucas I can't continue doing this to her" I found myself saying "she's too fragile"

"so what are you saying? You want to let her go?" He asks. What the f**k!

"why the hell would you think that?" I snap. "because you said-" I cut him short.

"I know what I said but I love that girl with everything in me, and letting her go is not an option Robinson" he raises his hands up as a sign of surrender. f**k!! Why would he say that?

We sat in silence for almost half an hour, with my head in shamble. What have I done? How do I even begin to get my mother off my case? In fact, how do I win this battle and plot everything without her knowing? I'm in for a whole lot of s**t I'll tell you that.

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A few hours later, I'm in our bedroom, sitting on a couch, my phone on hand and my eyes trained on her. I can't help but feel anger rise up in me when I think about the text I just got. f**k! Bella what have you done huh?

"Travis…" I slowly come out of My trance when I hear the sound of her voice, I know I was looking at her, but I wasn't Really looking at her you know what I mean?

I look up and our eyes meet. Seeing her awake angered me even more. "are you okay?" she asks. Of course I'm not, but I don't say that, instead, I stand up, look at her one last time and head to the shower. "I got your things" I say as soon as I reach the bathroom door, with confusing written all over her, she nods her head and I disappear into the bathroom.

The hot water works like magic to my body. I feel curtain drawing and small soft hands on my back. My body immediately tenses. 'no, no, no, no' I chant in my head.

"please don't" I sigh as soon as I feel her trailing kisses on my back, but because she's stubborn she continues. I can feel myself losing the battle and giving in.

"please forgive me" that's it, three words is all it took get me my senses back. I turn the shower tap off and walked out, shocking the both of us. "Travis" she calls out, I stop on my tracks and look back at her "Bella stop okay. Just stop"

I can tell she's at the brick of tears but dare she not, not today. I walk out and get to the closet, taking a pair of pajama bottoms, I wear them and walk out. I find her sitting on the bed, with her water dripping hair, she has tear stained cheeks and she keeps whipping them as they continuously fall from her eyes.

"I got you your hot wings and chocolate fudge" she looks at me with bloodshot eyes and my heart breaks at the sight in front of me.

"I don't want them anymore" she says, still looking at me. "mmm okay" I say and attempt to leave.

"what have I done Travis" f**k! Of all the things I expected her to say, I didn't think it'll be this one. "nothing" I say. She looks at me for a good two minutes before she nods her head yes and climb the bed, and settle inside.

Seeing her accept and not putting up a fight, has me in a weird way, I expected a shouting match, hell… I even wanted her to throw anything my way but to see her like that. No way. I don't know how long I've been in my office, it's after dawn, I stand up from my chair and walk out, I don't know what my aim is, but that's not how that was supposed to go like, I didn't want her to easily accept defeat. I want her to fight me, that way I know I…

I'm halted to my steps by what I'm seeing, there she is, in nothing but my shirt, TV on, the bucket of wings in her hand and her feet on the couch, she looks to be enjoying them, the empty container of the chocolate fudge is the coffee table and she looks to be enjoying herself, I even see a small smile from on her lips until I realize that she's engrossed with both the TV and her wing, she looking at how to get away with murder. This should be a sign.

She looks up immediately when I reach the coffee table, with a sigh, I sit down on the couch too, pulling her legs so they rest on me. She doesn't look at me and I start Massaging them. I look at her and she has her eyes closed, she's enjoying this. I slowly move my fingers up and I hear her breath hitch. That’s right miBella, that's right. One hand moves up circling her neck and bring our heads together. Our lips slowly move together in sync, this is my confirmation, I really am stupid for taking that text to heart, I love her, I can't lose her, she releases a low moan and I can feel myself getting hard. "mmm! Bella" she let's go of the bucket she's holding and climbs on top of me "f**k!"

I pull out as I feels the kiss getting heated. "you'd hate me if you missed the episode" I say. Coward I know. "no I won't" she replies me, bringing her lips to my neck. "Bella" It came out as a whisper. When I felt her hands making way to my pants I quickly snapped out of it and pulled her away "Bella stop okay, I mean it"

"ooh!" she stood shocked. "okay, im sorry then" she climbed off and walked away.

"Bella it's not “she shut the door to our bedroom on my face, with a final sigh, I placed my head on the door " it's nothing like that” I whispered and made my way to the next bedroom. Well… Looks like it's me and my hand because apparently I can be so stupid sometimes.