SHADOWS OF THE PAST

Chapter 16

i'm finally being discharged from the hospital, i begged April to keep me another day but she just brushed me off like im crazy. Travis came to get me, he looked to be happy, but i knew the happiness would be short-lived as soon as he finds out that im expecting, he would think that i'm trying to trap him with a child, i need to leave as soon as possible .

"by the way, Lucas is looking good, he went to surgery, he hasn't woken up yet, but the doctors are very much hopeful " he says, leading me out of my ward.

"can we see him please a" i look up at him from the wheelchair i'm currently on. he looks at me and smiles, the biggest smile i have ever seen on him.

"right this way my love" he pushes me until next to Luus ' ward.

"that friend of yours is not here toady, so relax okay ?" i smile and he pushes me in.

i find Luus' mom sitting on the chair brushing his hair. she immedietly stands up when she sees me, i immedietly panic when she walks towards me, could she also be blaming me, thinking that im the reason Lucas is in here.

"ma, i promise i didn't want to cause him any harm, if i knew i never would have called -"

she embraces me in a hug. "i was so worried about you my love, how are you doing? i heard what happened to you , i'm sorry i couldn't come check on you"

wait!what!?

"are you not mad at me?" she pulls back and looks at me.

"what?"she ask, rather confused."what are you talking about?"

i explain to her what Lexy said to and she looked pissed and , i don't know what other emotion there was.

"i'm really sorry about that, but that girl is totally out of line, how would you have know that he would get into an accident, if anything i should be the one questioning her, it was her car afterall that Lucas was in and the police says it was tempered with, now whos' to blame" she sat down and looked at Lu.

"my beautifull baby, you know he had just told us that we are going to be grandparents, then he said he dosnt want it, i just" she sigh" he has changed this year, he hasnt been himself and it's hurting me because he doest talk to me anymore" she sheds a tear, but quickly catches it and smilees.

"you both have changed and it's painful for me as a mother to see both my kids stray away, worse, from eac other, promise me Bella that once he comes out of this coma you guys will sort your issues out, your father and i hates it when you guys stray"

i cant help but shed some tears because of what she just said, calling Lucas and i both their kids.

She embraces me in a hug and I let a few tears fall, I don't know why I always have to doubt the love she has for me, thais woman had been with me through it all, the least I could do Is give her the love that she gives me.

"I really love you Isa, like you were my own, I hate feeling left out in your life, don't shut me out okay." I nod still in her arms.

"were you going to tell me you were pregnant?" I choke on my siliva and she gives me a bottle of water.

I want to say yes but we both know it's a lie, I wasn't going to say a thing.

"you are my child Isabella, don't hurt me like that okay" I nod with tears streaming down my eyes.

"I'm sorry" I utter the only thing I seem to voice out, I don't have a reason for not wanting to say anything, so I apologize.

"it's fine, just know i want to know everything that's going on in your life, okay," I nod and she brushes my back.

After a couple of minutes she asks me where Travis is, I look behind me as if he would be there and I shrug my shoulders.

We continue to talk until Travis comes to get me, they share few laughter before we leave, and I'm grateful that's she didn't mention the pregnancy because I wouldn't have known what to say.

When she spoke about how she wished both her grandkids growing up together like how Lucas and I did, I made my mind then and there that I'm putting my child first. As much as I love Travis, I can't chose him over my child, I will not be that kind of mother. Never.

We arrived at the penthouse and Travis pushes me in. He has been smiling eversince he came to fetch me.

"how are you feeling?" He ask after he pushes me the direction of the kitchen.

"fine, but I would like to sleep a little" he looks at me and nods his head.

"okay, but let's feed you first okay?"

I can't say no to food especially since I'm pregnant so I say yes.

His big ass smile is still there.

Suddenly he comes over to me and squats in front of me. He looks at me and smiles.

"thank you Bella, really" I smile "I know I'm too much sometimes but thank you very much, Thank you for loving me and everything else, I'm a f****d up man with a f****d up childhood but I found solance in you, you make we want to do better, you give me reason and hope, I have never loved like I love you mibella, hell-I have never been loved like you love me "

I place my hand on his cheek and caress it. He leans into my palm and closes his eyes.

" I want you to know that I never intend to hurt you at all, okay, but promise you won't ever leave me, please. I'm a mess without you Bella, I love you so much it hurts, you have no idea"

My eyes become glossy. My other hand goes and caress his hair, he looks so cute and adorable, like a little kid.

"baby this is me, right here right now, bearing my all to you, I need you, i can't do without you Bella, I know we fight and everything but I never instead to hurt you on purpose, you have to believe me okay? Just... Be mine okay, forever and always okay?"

I can't help the tears pouring out like tap water, this is deja vu. This has happened before, me wanting to leave and him begging me to stay, I know this. I know it all. I've seen it happen once before.