Erina's Curse (FILIPINO)

Chapter 18

"Fifteen seconds before the break ends, be ready and stand by on five."

Five seconds after the production staff gave me the signal, I placed the strap of my acoustic guitar over my shoulders then breathe deeply to calm myself. 

I've been performing on different music award shows for almost a month now but my heart seemed to not get the hang of it. Four weeks of sleepless nights and four weeks of tireless rehearsals. 

Tired would be an underestimation of what I feel right now. But a hint of excitement overpowers that tiredness because finally, tonight is the last award show that I would perform my new song after it came out. 

"With over 54 million 1st day streams on global spotify, the lady who does not need any introduction," the female host announced as I lose my nerves while standing on the sidelines. 

"GreyArea's Lead Vocalist, Erina Lee!" 

When the two hosts finished the introductions, I confidently walked towards the center of the stage with the guitar on my hands. I waited until the audience stopped cheering before starting my song. But as I strum the first chord, the dome erupted again. 

I finished performing and one of the staff lead me to one of the seats up front. I sat beside my bandmates because they also performed a while ago. 

After a series of performance, the awarding ceremony commences and when I received the 10th award for my solo, I still couldn't grasp that all of it was real. 

Yung ngiti at pagkagulat ko parang kagaya pa rin nung unang nanalo yung kanta. I felt overwhelmed and grateful. For the past two months, I've been the happiest. I have friends, I had my first ever solo and of course, I have Soo Hyun. He really is the highlight of my life. 

"Uhm…," I hesitated a bit because I couldn't contain my happiness anymore. The fans and the staff all just laugh and encouraged me to continue my thank you speech. 

"I….I'm really thankful for all of you," hindi ko nanaman mapigilang matawa kasi parang first time ko naman manalo kung umasta ako. "I know I've been repeating this for the past few weeks but I really can't think of anything but to be thankful. This trophy bears only my name but the real heroes here are you guys, thank you for your continous support. I love you all."

The audience cheered then the production manager gave me his signal para simulan na ang encore performance. Hinila ko naman sila Kesha para samahan akong mag-perform sa encore stage which made the audience cheered some more. It's not everyday that you see GreyArea performing my solo song.

When the show ended, one of our assistants informed us na dumiretso sa H&H. We were all pretty tired but we still don't have a choice. Raqi and Sassy already fell asleep pagkasakay na pagkasakay namin sa van. I tried sleeping too but my back seems to choose where it wants to be rested. Gusto ko nalang talagang umuwi. 

"Ano daw bang pag-uusapan?" 

I ask Kesha because she's the one who seemed to still have energy. Yung tatlo parang konting tulak matutumba na eh. 

"I don't know. Baka about sa comeback," she answered then yawned. I was wrong, huh? Pagod na talaga kaming lahat. 

When we reached the conference room, ako na yung nagbukas ng pinto. Napatalon naman ako sa gulat ng biglang may sumabog na confetti. 

"Congratulations on your solo, Erina!"

The staff and my bandmates shouted. Parang wala ng energy yung apat kanina pero para akong naging palaman nang bigla nila akong yakapin ng mahigpit. Energy overload. 

"Hindi pala alam, huh?" 

I raised my brows on Kesha but she just laughed and hug me again. Madaming pagkain sa mahabang table at may pa baloons pa silang decorations. Parang may magde-debut lang, huh?

"Thank you guys! I appreciate all your efforts. Please help yourself," I motioned them to eat tapos lumapit na kay Sir Leo para yakapin siya.

"Finally! Pwede ka na matulog ulit," he jokingly said then tap my head.

"Miss na daw ako ng kama ko, Sir."

I also miss Soo Hyun. These past few weeks hindi na kami masyadong nagkikita. His three months training in the company ended a couple of weeks ago and their actual shooting for the drama already started. Halos hindi ko na nga siya mareplayan dahil right after ng rehearsals bagsak na talaga ako kaagad.

After talking to some staff, I excused myself. Dumiretso ako sa cr para tumawag. After two rings, he finally answered the call.

"I miss you," was his first greeting.

"I want to see you so bad already," I answered while pouting. 

"Sunday love. I can't wait to see you too."

Sunday nalang kasi talaga kami parehong available. Minsan hindi pa kasi ang layo ng locations ng mga shoots nila, sobrang hassle naman sakanya kung babyahe pa siya para lang makita ako ng isang oras. He suggested that before pero tumanggi na ako. Alam ko naman kung gaano siya kapagod. 

Kahit gusto ko pa siyang makausap, ako na yung nag end ng tawag dahil pareho kaming pagod. Halos tapos na din kumain sila Kesha kaya nag-aya na rin silang umuwi. We went home, clean ourselves then go straight to bed. Ni wala na kaming energy para makapagkwentuhan man lang. 

The next few days were stressful, an edited image of me when I was younger got trending. The people were accusing me of plastic surgery and many fans were triggered kaya ang lala ng online fanwars. The company immediately diffused the rumor by uploading my real childhood photos. We thought the issue would go down but the people who started the rumor are now targeting other artist. Pati sila Kesha nadadamay.

"Look at these edit of me," Kesha was pointing at her ipad pro while laughing.

We were in the common room at kanina pa namin pinag-uusapan yung about sa plastic surgery. 

"I mean, kung mag-eedit sila sana naman medyo makatotohanan."

I just laughed at what she said dahil ang oa naman kasi talaga ng pagkakaedit sakanya. Ang laki ng ilong at halatang tinapal lang sa original photo. Wala talagang magawa yung ibang tao sa mga buhay nila. 

Nagulat ako nung bigla nanamang tumawa ng malakas si Kesha. Kaming tatlo lang nila Leina yung kanina pa nag-iingay kasi si Raqi at Sassy parang wala sa sarili. Baka gutom nanaman dahil hindi pa dumadating yung order naming lunch.

"Ano nanaman 'yan?"

I ask Kesha but she ignored me and instead tumabi siya kay Sassy. Nanlaki naman yung mga mata ni Sassy nang makita kung ano man yung pinakita ni Kesha kaya nacurious na rin kami ni Leina at nakitingin na.

"Baboy ka pala Sassy eh," Leina jokingly exclaimed.

The picture was an obese version of Sassy. Siyang siya pero mataba. Ang galing nga nung nag-edit eh, kung hindi lang niya ginagamit yung talent niya sa paninira ng iba, I would even complement him or her.

Napatingin ako kay Sassy tapos nakitang paiyak na siya. Hala, baka na-offend siya. Sassy is the visual of our group. Debut palang binansagan na siyang natural beauty dahil sobrang amo ng mukha niya. 

"Uy, 'wag mo na pansinin. Ikaw pa ba yung magpaparetoke?"

I said to console her but instead, tumayo nalang siya bigla at nagwalk out. I was about to follow her but Raqi stopped me at siya na daw ang bahala. 

"What's her problem?"

Leina curiously asked then continued browsing the internet. I just shrugged my shoulders because I have no idea what just happened. Sassy's been acting weird since those supposedly 'scandal' arise. Wala naman akong pake kasi alam kong hindi totoo.

"And besides what's wrong with plastic surgery?" Leina asked again.

"Nothing. If it makes you confident and happy, why not right?"

I answered and Kesha seconded. I'm already contented with how I look that's why I don't need any surgery done but if I was born with a different face and I was not contented with my facial and bodily feautures then I wouldn't think twice to get one. It's my body after all.

Habang nasa byahe kami pauwi, tahimik pa rin sila Sassy at Raqi pero sumasagot din naman kapag tinatanong. We had bulgogi and japchae for dinner. Pagkatapos ko maglinis ng katawan, tumambay na ako sa sala habang hinihintay si Soo Hyun. The girls fell asleep early at baka mainggit ako at antukin tapos hindi ko mamalayan na nandyan na yung boyfriend ko kaya sa may sofa nalang ako nag-stay.

Every saturday ng gabi palagi niya talaga akong sinusundo, although nung mga nakaraang linggo, hindi kami natutuloy dahil wala talaga kaming time. Specially him, palaging kailangan sa shooting. It's almost 10 pm so I decided to call him already. Madalas naman 9pm pa lang nasusundo niya na ako kaya nakakapagtaka na wala pa siya ngayon. When he didn't answer my 10th attempt to call him, kinabahan na'ko. 

I tried calling Dustin pero hindi naman daw sila magkasama dahil nga nasa shooting si Soo Hyun. But he told me that they will finish at 6pm. Halos dalawang oras ang byahe mula doon hanggang dito sa city kaya I expected him to be atleast here at 9pm considering the traffic. 

I called him again but still to no vail. It's almost midnight at babagsak na yung talukap ng mata ko pero wala pa rin siya. I texted him multiple times already pero hindi din siya nagrereply. Nawawalan na ako ng options kasi wala namang nakakaalam na kami sa mga kasama niya sa shooting.

I don't know when or how pero mukhang hindi ko na napigilan ang makatulog at nagising nalang sa tapik ni Sassy. I struggled to get up dahil sobrang sakit ng likod ko. Ang pangit kasi ng posisyon ko sa sofa. 

"Aalis na kami," she said not minding to ask kung bakit nandito pa rin ako sa GreyHouse.

Nasense siguro nila na ayaw kong pag-usapan. Hindi ko alam kung ano yung uunahin, kung mag-aalala ba o maiinis kasi hindi man lang niya ako nagawang tawagan o kahit text nalang. 

Tumango nalang ako tapos hinalikan silang apat sa pisnge. Not a minute after, they're already gone at mag-isa na ako sa bahay. I was about to call him again but a notification popped out on the screen. It's an email from one the brands na ine-endorse ko. It's just to inform me about the packages coming my way and a reminder about the paid advertisements on i********:. 

Naka-ready naman na yung picture and caption kaya ipopost ko nalang. I was about to minimize the app when a picture caught my eye. 

It was a picture of Soo Hyun, Suzy and another man I don't recognize. It was posted by a fan account at may caption na tungkol sa shooting location nila kagabi. 

Okay naman pala siya. Nakuha niya ngang mag picture taking pero yung magreply sa messages ko hindi niya magawa. 

Ang aga aga pero hindi na agad maganda yung mood ko. I decided to just eat breakfast and read books. I was about to cook my lunch after taking a bath when I heard my phone rang.

Wow. Kaya naman pala niyang tumawag pero bakit hindi niya nagawa kagabi? I immediately ended the call and continued cooking. Tapos na akong magluto pero hindi pa rin tumitigil yung pagri-ring ng telepono. Tinapos ko munang kumain at magligpit bago dinampot yung celllphone sa may center table. I ended the his call but I read his messages.

'Love'

'Answer the phone please"

'I'm outside. I won't leave hangga't hindi mo 'ko kinakausap'

Napairap nalang ako bago pumasok sa kwarto para kunin ang wallet at facemask ko. Nilock ko ang bahay at gate bago dire-diretsong pumasok sa shotgun seat ng sasakyan niya. 

"Love let me exp---"

"Just drive. Ayokong makipag-usap dito," I immediately cut him off at tumingin nalang sa bintana. 

Nang makarating sa parking lot ng condo niya, hindi ko na siya hinintay na pagbuksan ako ng pinto at dire- diretso nalang na pumanhik sa elevator. Nakahabol naman siya at sabay kaming pumasok sa condo niya. 

I immediately spot Theo in the sofa kaya dun ako lumapit.

"Happy Birthday Theo," I greeted the dog then tap his head.

We were supposed to celebrate Theo's birthday today pero wala ako sa mood. Kaya lang talaga ako sumama ay para lang mabati si Theo. Parang gusto ko nalang agad umuwi. 

I was just sitting on the sofa nung tumabi siya and tried to hold my hand. "Love," he softly called me but I averted his gaze. He was holding my hand pero hindi na ako nag-effort na hawakan din siya. Nakakasama lang kasi ng loob na hindi man lang niya naisip na baka nag-aalala na ko at halos mabaliw sa pag-iisip kung nasan siya, kung okay lang ba siya. Cancelling plans was not new in our relationship anymore. And it's okay. Pero hindi okay yung wala man lang pasabi. 

"Love, I'm sorry."

Lumuhod siya sa harapan ko pero hindi ko pa rin siya tinitignan at yumuko nalang. He held both my hands then he kissed my knuckles. "I really am."

"Nasan ka kagabi?" I asked when I finally looked him in the eye. My tears were about to fall and I used all my energy to stop them. "I was in the shooting location. I thought we were going to finish by six but the director decided to shoot the next scene on the same day because of some appointment he can't miss." 

"Okay lang naman eh," hindi ko na napigilang umiyak. Ang bigat sa dibdib. "I wouldn't mind kung hindi tayo matutuloy kasi alam ko kung gaano ka ka-busy. Pero talagang wala ka man lang oras para tawagan o i-text ako?"

He wiped my tears then hug me to his chest. "I texted you love, but it was just this morning when I realized that the message did not go through. My phone's battery run out and I didn't have the chance to charged it because I was too exhausted. I know my excuses are quite shitty pero yun talaga yung nangyari. After I read your messages this morning, I rushed towards you."

He looked me in the eye and despite my tears, nakita kong mangiyak ngiyak na din siya. I wiped his tears then hug him tight. Gusto kong saktan yung sarili ko kasi hindi ko manlang magawang magpakipot. I missed him too much already. Why would I waste the time na pwede ko siyang yakapin ng ganito?

"Let's bake a cake for Theo?"

Umaliwalas na din yung mukha niya at tinulungan akong tumayo para pumunta sa may kusina. Good thing that he has ingredients for baking here kaya hindi na namin kailangang magpadeliver ng groceries. 

"Tanga mo, scramble ba yan o cake mixture? Pwede na yung isa!"

I exclaimed when I saw him beating and putting five eggs into the mixture. Parang tanga naman kasi sabi ko magtingin kami online ng cake recipes eh ayaw niya. He suggested that we eyeball this! Buti nalang kahit papaano nakapanood na ako ng mga videos sa youtube kung paano ba magbake. 

"Gusto mong ibato ko sayo 'tong pan? 'Wag ko punuin kasi hindi mabe-bake yung loob!"

Mauubusan yata ako ng dugo sa lalaking 'to. Punuin daw ba naman yung pan ng cake batter. Tapos ang tanga pa ng reason niya kasi para daw malaki yung cake. Sarap ipasok sa oven ng taong 'to.

"Why are you mad?" parang takang-taka pa siya kung bakit ko siya sinisigawan eh kanina pa walang kwenta mga pinaggagawa niya.

Habang hinihintay naming ma-bake yung batter, nagulat ako ng biglang may maglagay ng harina sa buhok ko. Tinignan ko naman agad ng masama si Soo Hyun pero yung gago nakangiting aso pa talaga.

"Lola Erina. Tanda mo na pala love oh, may white hair ka na," his tone was teasing.

Sinabuyan ko din siya ng harina sa may mukha para gumanti. Kala niya, huh?

"Ayan, ganda naman ni Kim Soo Hyun. Kakaiba ang full face make-up mo ah," pang-aasar ko pa kasi mukha siyang white lady. 

We were just teasing each other while he tickles me when his phone rang. Nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag dahil tumigil na siya sa kakakiliti para sagutin yung tawag.

Pumunta siya sa sala para makaiwas sakin dahil balak ko pa siyang gantihan. Naiwan nalang ako sa kusina para asikasuhin na yung para sa icing ng cake. Natapos din naman siya agad sa tawag so I smiled and called him para matuloy na namin yung pagbe-bake. My smile instantly vanished when I saw the expression on his face.

"Love, kailangan kong bumalik sa shooting location."

He looked pained while telling me how their director has to attend something important next week kaya kailangan na nilang matapos yung shooting ngayon. I tried to listen but my dissappointment was clouding both my judgment and my ability to hear reason. 

Sunday. Sunday na nga lang yung mayron kami para sa isa't isa pero wala nanaman. Instead of speaking words I might regret later, I just smiled at him and told him to go.

"Sige na."

He kissed my cheeks then wash himself bago bumalik ulit sa kusina. 

"One of our maids will picked Theo up later, I'll see you soon. I love you."

He didn't even gave me time to respond dahil umalis na siya kaagad. Tinapos ko nalang yung ginagawa ko then after an hour, sinundo na si Theo. Dinala ko nalang sa GreyHouse yung cake at buti nalang marunong na akong mag-drive kaya hindi na ako nagbook ng sasakyan. 

The next few days were even more busier than the past month. The sales of my solo were steady at napag-uusapan na din na baka kailangan ko na ulit magsulat ng bagong kanta for an album.

Days passed by quickly at halos hindi na kami magkausap ni Soo Hyun sa telepono. He's in Canada dahil may kukuhanang parte ng drama doon, because of the time difference, ang hirap makatyempo na gising at may energy kaming dalawa. 

Everything was going well not until 3 weeks later nang may eskandalong lumabas tungkol sa kumpanya.

The H&H entertainement were in havoc dahil sa r**e case na isinampa sa isa sa mga managers ng kumpanya. A trainee who was allegedly sexually assaulted by the manager filed a case and gained a lot of attention. Matagal ng may mga sabi-sabi tungkol sa mga ganitong balita pero ngayon lang may nagsampa talaga ng kaso. 

Hindi nauubusan ng reporters sa labas ng kumpanya kaya hirap na hirap kaming umuwi. Ang dami na ding tweets sa twitter asking us, na mga artist ng H&H kung napagsamantalahan din ba kami. We were ordered to be silent kaya wala kaming sinasagot. Pati scheduled performances ay cancelled dahil sobrang gulo na talaga. There were even investors na gusto na daw magpull out. Even the sales of previously released songs and albums were dropping. 

People are boycotting every artist of H&H to force us na iwanan ang kumpanya. Kahit gustuhin ko pa, hindi naman ganun kadali 'yon. There are binding contracts involved and we need to abide by the rules. 

I was having lunch with the girls in the cafeteria nang pinatawag ako sa office ni Sir Hades. Hindi na ako umangal kasi parang nasasakal nako sa sobrang tahimik sa cafeteria. Halos hindi na mag-usap yung mga empleyado. Maybe they're just worried na matanggalan sila ng trabaho.

I knocked thrice before opening the door. Nagulat naman ako nang makitang nakaupo si Nathan sa tapat ni Sir Hades.

"Sir, " I bowed and wait for him to acknowledge me bago ako umupo sa katapat na upuan ni Nathan. Nagngitian nalang kami at hindi na nagsalita.

The atmosphere's heavy at ramdam ko na seryoso ang pag-uusapan namin.

"Hindi na ako magpapaligoy-ligoy pa," Sir Hades sighed heavily. "The company needs you."

"What do you mean, Sir?" Nathan asked.

"We needed a distraction from this scandal immediately and there's no bigger news than you two collaborating for a song."

"What?"