Remembering Lily

One Suggestion, One Question

Upon learning that my situation could be more complicated than it seems, I started to do some research. I am not the biggest fan of looking through evidence that involves supernatural matters online. Even if there is so much to see, the majority of the results are just fiction. The rest are beautiful but questionable tales if ever I consider one detail, that is this reality.

Then my own story plays in my head. Does it even fair to consider some of them false when I have looked for enough proof? This is becoming a story with a never-ending plot. I am here to find the truth, to look for proof. Then while doing so, I need to seek proof for these theories as well. If I got anything from this, that would be one huge headache.

I can't even simply ask for someone's help without being tagged as crazy. If someone would really believe me, I would doubt that person's credibility too. Because I'll just admit it… who would think I'm telling the truth? In their sane mind, if I may add. No one.

'Blake, are you busy?' I texted her first. Even if this seems like a great deal to me, I can't assume that it is the same for Blake and other people.

Blake did not send me a reply so I assumed that was the answer. She was busy and I understand. These past days, I have been being emotional. It was too hard to handle and it could be that she feels the same way. I wouldn't want her to think of me as another problem. I may be the main character of my own story but Blake has her own life too.

Now, I feel like a bad friend because all I do is tell her about my own troubles. I haven't even asked her how she is doing. I really should leave her alone and give her a lot of space. I'll try to do things on my own for now.

So… who do I have left?

No one. I've got no one left. What a sad conclusion.

I continued to search online instead. Maybe I can find at least one reliable lead that could help me with this. That would be a big step. Yet, time passed and there was still nothing I could find. I even tried to read tales from other countries about being born again but the bit about having someone else's face is missing.

There was a knock on my door which shocked me because I wasn't expecting anyone.

"Who's that?"

"Blake!"

"Oh?" I opened the door for her. "Why are you here?"

"Uhm? Because I'm not busy?"

"You didn't reply to my text?"Before I went back to researching, I checked my inbox and I can confirm that she didn't text me back. I didn't make a big deal out of it.

"Can we go inside first? It's freezing cold out here."

"Oh, dear. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. Please." I opened the door wider so she could come inside.

It wasn't raining outside but it was a windy night.

I just noticed that she was holding a plastic bag with take-outs. "You brought food?"

"I figured you haven't eaten yet."

"How did you know?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh, I know you better than you think, duh. Don't underestimate me." She was at home which I didn't mind as she prepared the food in my dining area.

I'm glad she is being like this again. I understand that there was an adjustment period but words cannot describe how much I appreciate Blake. She is even here making time for me even if for sure, she is busy.

"Sorry I disturbed you," I told her. Feeling even more sorry now because even after all I thought, she is still here knocking on my door. "You are probably busy but you are here with me again."

"Anything wrong with that?" She started to eat and pointed at the dish. It was a Japanese dish but I forgot the name. It was in a bento box and there was chicken as the main dish. There were also vegetable on the sides and a soup on a separate bowl. "And I told you in the text I'm not. I just had a meeting which was why it took time for me to reply."

"Text?" I asked. I don't think I received a response from her.

She lightly shook her head and showed me her phone with her reply. "You must be the busy one. You were the one who didn't reply."

"Oh, sorry. I had my head fully occupied earlier.”

“By what? Is this why you texted me?”

I nodded and started to tell her about everything. I was cautious at first as I was telling her the story. Concerned that she wouldn’t believe the things I was saying but it was only at the beginning because Blake was listening to me with an open mind and I can really say she was intently listening. More than that, it looked like she believes the story I was saying with that concerned look on her face.

“What do you think?”

“What do I think? Dear, I’m still thinking. You only told me a story with one major detail but my head is spinning like crazy.”

She had this blank expression and it seems like she is still thinking even when I was done telling her the details of my concern. And then a loud frustrating sigh came out of his mouth.

“First of all, what the actual f**k? Second of all, who is this Adie girl? Third of all, who is this Adam guy? And lastly, I put Adam on the bottom list of our concerns because wow, why am I hearing only about this now?”

“What?” I said with a hint of guilt. I really didn’t tell her much about Adam, scared that she might judge me. Who am I to plan to get back my ex-husband while entertaining this other guy, even if it was in a non-romantic sense.

“Okay, let me summarize this with a question and a suggestion. Which do you want to hear first?”

The order doesn’t matter because I need to hear both. Still, I find myself choosing one. “Let me hear the suggestion first.”

“Find out more about this Addison girl. I mean, may she rest in peace. I hope, I really do… She’s not walking around with your face.”

My jaw fell with that thought. I really think that would be impossible but is anything impossible at this point. But with the little probability of that happening, I still squirmed. Goodness, no. I really hope no. “Then this would simply be a horror story. But I get what you were suggesting. I also want to find out more about her. There are only a few things Adam told me about her.”

“Yeah, that brings us to the second thing… The question. Wanna hear it?”

I nodded.

“What do you think about Adam?”

“What? What does that have anything to do about this?” As much as Adam and I are concerned, I don’t want to involve him with my part of the story. I just want to simply know if there’s anything that connects me to Adie and if there is, then that would help me but I still don’t want to involve Adam.

He needs to heal and move on in his own way, on his own terms. Moving on doesn’t mean unloving Adie. He doesn’t have to. Moving on for me would be for Adam to stop hurting every time he thinks of Adie. I may not know Adie but if she also loved Adam, I think she’d wish for the same thing.

“Because,” Blake started to say. “You started to refer to Yohan as your ex-husband, Lily. This is the first time that you did. I don’t know what that means but could it be that Adam has something to do about this?”