Remembering Lily

Slice of Apple Pie

"Hi!"

She looked flushed when she saw me but I remained smiling at their doorstep... or should I say ours? These thing is getting confusing which encourages me more to take back what used to be mine. I need to get this all over with. The exact reason why today, I am taking a big step.

"E-Ellie... Why are you here?"

Stephanie was the one who opened the door. As expected, she was stunned to see me.

I can already hear the murmurs inside. Seems like they are already starting the celebration and I came just in time to join. My sweet mother-in-law's birthday is not something I would just miss. Even before we got married, I have always been present except for the one time I died.

"I'm sorry. Am I interrupting? I just wanted to give this apple pie as a thank you for welcoming me and for the last time's dinner."

Steph didn't seem like she minded. She finally and unsuspectingly smiled back at me. "No, no. It's fine. You didn't have to but thank you." I gave her the dessert and caught a glimpse inside. I saw Yohan's younger sister, Maria but no one saw me yet. "Ah, it's my mother-in-law's birthday. Why don't you come inside-"

Oh, I know.

"No, no." I faked a shy laugh. "You don't have to. I really just came to bring the pie."

"Really, Ellie. I insist."

Well, she said she insists. Just the response I was hoping to get. Stephanie is playing easy to fool right now. She's acting exactly like how I wanted to. This makes me think my plan is easier than I anticipated it to be.

The smell of different dishes welcomed me at my own home. This just brings back old memories of the parties we've hosted. I would spend a whole day preparing for everything; the decoration, inviting people, the games, everything but the food which is Yohan's expertise.

My dear husband, where could he be?

There are more people than I expected. I like to organize a casual gathering with different people. My workmate, his workmates, the neighbors, our families. But to keep things intimate, we usually don't invite a lot.

There's Yohan's father, John, seating on a couch in the corner who looked like he didn't want to be a bother but at the same time, didn't want to be bothered. In his hand is a bottle of beer that is already half-empty and on his side are two more empty bottles.

Maria is talking to a tall, thin guy who just smiles at her while she talks, a lot. Probably her new boyfriend. She's not really the committing type and not also someone who dates her type. She likes guys who would like her more but in the end, breaks up for the same reason of liking them. We were close but she didn't share much because of our differences but I liked listening to her stories. Maybe I'll talk to her later.

I can see a few unfamiliar faces, maybe three or four which I assume are either their new friends or from Steph's side of the family. They have the same features as her, it was easy to tell they are relatives.

"Oh my, I'm sorry dear."

I was too stunned when I bumped into Olivia, Yohan's mom. Steph brought the pie to the table so I was wandering around. Too preoccupied, I bumped into Olivia.

She looked older with her gray hair she probably stopped coloring. The lines on her eyes are more visible than I remembered. One year has changed her so much but she still has that welcoming, motherly sort of aura surrounding her.

I suddenly felt the urge to hug her but I can't even say a single word.

"Are you alright?"

"Uhm, yes. I am. Thank you for asking. I'm sorry for-"

"It's alright. It's a bit crowded here. It's really hard to walk without brushing each other's shoulder."

I laughed at what she said. It's more crowded than what we were used to so I'm sure she also feels like this is something new. Our family dinner just consists of us. I usually do not invite my parents just because I think it's a lot of people and it would be hard to have a proper conversation.

"Everyone, let's eat!" Yohan screamed from the dining room. I see, they didn't change that. "Mom- oh," he came to where we were standing to probably call Olivia but then saw me.

"Hi."

"Uhm, hey." I know that face. He's trying to figure out where he's seen me and I waited for him to recall. Just to see if my new face left an impression. "You- you look familiar, do I know you?"

"Hun?" The new wife joined the conversation. Startled to see me mingling with who she thinks is her people. "You know Ellie?"

"Ellie? You're-"

"Why don't we bring this conversation to the dining table because I'm b****y starving." Olivia interrupted. "It's my birthday, darling. Join us. I think we have enough food for apparently the whole town." she added, assuming I didn't know.

"Are you a teacher too?"

I can feel the interest from both Yohan and Olivia. It could be that they are just making the new face, which is me, comfortable but I think there's more or I could just be making-up things. Suddenly, I get this feeling of knowing more about people just because they know less about me.

"Yes. I just started working at the pre-school." I both give them a smile. I give that a lot these days. Starting back to zero is hard, being a stranger means you have to create a character from their perspective and how hard it is to do that from scratch. That means a lot of fake kindness, awkward shyness, and throwing a lot of smiles.

"I think I've seen you somewhere," Yohan says.

I almost rolled my eye in disappointment. I'm asking for too much but I just want him to remember me because I believe in fairytales. What happened to me was a plot straight from fantasy.

I am a girl who died, woke up in a new body, and came back for true love. Fairytales would not be fairytales without some sort of evil anyways. I guess shitty challenges are a surprise but in a way, expected.

"I'm Blake's friend." I saw how Steph stopped chewing whatever it is she's eating. She looked at me with accusing eyes. Of course, she knows Blake because I told her. "And Lily's too."

More than half of the people around the table paused, as if on cue with the mere mention of my name. It was satisfying to see the effect. I didn't mean to shock anyone or cause a scene but this feels like a bonus, a reward for the life I lived. It always feels good to be remembered.

I tried not to directly meet anybody's eyes but I know glances were stolen at me. I know because I caught Steph and Yohan's family uncomfortably and consciously looking in my direction. The rest just couldn't care less but still wonders who this girl they were not briefed who.

The next words will be hard for me to say but it was necessary. I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned her."

I said even when in my head, I just want to scream at Yohan. 'I'm not sorry at all but you should be.'

"This tastes exactly as the one Lily makes." We all looked at John who has already eaten a slice of the apple pie.