Begging for rejection

Chapter 25 - The Show

Alexandria POV

He kissed me, and I didn’t even hesitate to kiss him back, I didn’t understand how much I needed to kiss him until his lips touched mine.

It was like nothing I had before, it’s more, more passion, more feelings, more hunger, I can’t imagine going on without being kissed by him again.

A knock on the door brought us out of our little world that we were lost in.

What the hell am I doing? He is not my mate anymore, he can’t be mine.

And in came Izzy flying into his arms…yes, this is a mistake, a big mistake.

I excuse myself and almost ran to my room. I enter and shut the door behind me.

What the hell was I thinking, of course when it’s too late I realize my feelings, how dumb am I to think I can actually have something that I want… I only got myself to blame.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid” I shout out loud and kick the first thing I see which is my bag.

It falls on its side with the zipper open and few things fall out, one of which is Luke’s hoodie.

I just stand there staring at it , how could I forget so easily? How could I betray him like this? and for what? For someone who is not mine anymore.

I grab the hoodie, the grey hoodie, that was his favorite until I claimed it as mine, I chuckle with eyes full of tears at the memory of us fighting over who owns it and of course I won because I was carrying his pup… my baby, how could I get so distracted?

I pull my phone out of my pocket and send Max a text with a location in town so we could leave tomorrow.

Derek is fine and chose an appropriate Luna, he will probably announce her to the world at this guardians' ball in a couple of days.

I can’t believe they are actually celebrating those guardians but it’s not my place to say anything, there is no need for me here anymore, so it’s settled.

Derek POV

“Okay Izzy, you can let go of me now” I try and pry myself away from her.

“But I was so worried Derek, I thought you will never wake up and I will not see your gorgeous blue eyes ever again” she says and tries to kiss me which I successfully avoid.

“What the hell are you doing Izzy? You are not here so we could rekindle our failed relationship. I just needed your help with the preparations for the ball. Sophia has her hands full and I thought as a good friend of mine you wouldn’t refuse to help me” I say as diplomatically as possible.

“Really Derek? Doesn’t Sophia has an assistant now, and from all your friends you called me? Who are you fooling here? You don’t think I can smell that human b***h all over you” she says, with her hands on her hips and anger contouring her face.

Fuck, f**k, f**k how the hell am I going to explain this one?

“First, it’s none of your business. Second, what does that have to do with what I’m saying?” I try and divert the subject.

“None of my business? Okay Derek, you just woke up from a coma, you must be tired and don’t know what you are saying, see you in the morning baby” she says, then blow me a kiss and leaves.

Denial, that’s where she lives. What the f**k have I done?

I rub my face in frustration at the predicament that I’m in.

“I told you this was a bad idea but you didn’t listen, did you?” Dean says, leaning in the doorway.

“f**k you Dean … come in, we need to talk” I tell him as I walk to sit on the chair opposite to the couch, that he for sure will sit in, and he does just that.

“Listen, before you say anything, I know I f****d up and I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have said what I’ve said… it’s just” Dean Trails off

“What is it little bro?”I say as calm as possible, something is not right with him and he needs his big brother now not his alpha.

“It’s just seeing you like that brought all the memories of that time when father sent you to the hospital because of me... and this time too, I wasn’t there to help you and you almost died, I’m your beta, my job is to protect you and I failed again, I think I just needed someone to blame other than myself and she was just there and I was already mad at her for the rejection thing” he says avoiding my eyes but I know what’s the real reason of his anger, the mate bond.

“Do you still dream of her?” I ask him and he snaps his eyes to mine.

“Almost every night” he says with a sigh.

“You still believe she is your mate?” I ask.

“Well, I don’t know anymore, she said she found her mate and it’s not me, but I can’t get her out of my mind to the point that I’m actually going to lose my mind, Derek. I can’t find any other explanation and as hard as I try I can’t seem to be able to even get a glance of her since I turned 18. That’s why I’m mad at Alexandria and even you...you’ve been given a gift and you just wasted it… how long have we been searching for our mates, Derek? And both of you waist it like that?!!” He says, his voice getting louder and he is clearly getting emotional.

“Do you know what I would do if I was in your place? I would never let her go no matter what she wants” he says with finality.

“But that’s just it, you aren’t in our place. You haven’t lost a mate as violently as she did to understand her reasons, you have been haunted by the ghost of yours for years, that’s why you can’t understand where we’re coming from, and I promise you when you find your mate, you’ll do anything to make her happy … even if it meant rejecting her”.

“So you don’t regret it, rejecting her?” Dean asks.

“Oh, I regret it with every bone in my body, but on the other hand, if I hadn't done just that, she wouldn’t have kissed me back” I say smirking.

“What? You kissed!! But I thought you rejected her” Dean asks with wide eyes.

“I did, I f*****g felt it too. I don’t feel the tingles anymore when we touch. Her scent doesn’t drive me as crazy as it used to be, but everything else is the same … I’m anxious when she is not around and I miss her as soon as she leaves, she drives me mad with her stubbornness and her sailor mouth. Don’t even get me started on that, but I’m still as crazy about her as the day I first saw her. She is different, like no one I ever met” I finish and I know I have the goofiest smile on my face.

“Well, that complicates things, what are you going to do about Izzy? And how are we going to explain that a mere human kicked the asses of 10 werewolves?” Dean says and just like that the goofy smile disappears.

“I can handle Izzy for now, as for the fight, I have no f*****g explanation” I say frowning my eyebrows together.

-

Standing in my office 10 adult werewolves, some are bandaged and some are heavily bruised. If this wasn’t a serious situation, they would have looked comical.

Dean is standing on my right and Dylan is on the left, both crossing their arms while I'm sitting in my chair.

We are an intimidating sight.

“Who here cares to explain why you thought it was a good idea to attack a guest of the alpha?”I say with an expressionless face, let’s throw them off and make them s**t their pants a little.

No one answers, all facing the floor, and I can see them trembling a little, we need them to tremble a lot so they would just want to run the f**k out of here without asking a lot of questions that I’m not ready to answer yet.

So I slam my hand on the desk and they jump, all of them, no exception.

If they didn’t s**t their pants before they definitely do now.

“ANSWER NOW” I alpha command them.

“Sandy” they all say in Unison almost immediately. They can’t resist my command.

I’m a little surprised that it’s not Natalia, I know she is holding a grudge since the rogue attack... although, Natalia is a strong warrior, one of the best, she really doesn’t have the qualities of leadership... not yet.

“Aa..alpha , we thought ssshe is the reason why you are in the hospital, we thought we lost you” sandy answer stuttering.

“You think your alpha is that weak?” Dylan says in disgust.

“NO, Gamma, never, it’s just, we heard the beta sa-” and before sandy finish Dean cuts her off.

“What did I say? Did I say harm her in anyway? Did I even take any action against her?” Dean says through gritted teeth.

“No Beta” they all answer.

“So you took it upon yourselves to skip the ranking members of the pack and what? Take matters into your own hands?... do you think we are unfit to run this pack… are you challenging us?” I say as a growl skips my mouth and my eyes turn black, I let Rex to the surface and I’m sure Dean and Dylan did the same with Ferox and Dom ... yup, they did s**t their pants.

“No alpha” they all answer in unison again, I love when they do that.

“You are all sentenced to 10 days in the dungeons, with only bread and water to survive on, and an extra 5 days in the same conditions for sandy for being the leader of this s**t show, and while you are there you should reflect on your choice of disobeying your alpha” I stand up anger contouring my face.

“You will not speak a word about this fight to anyone, not even among yourselves, ever again. You’ve disgraced yourselves enough, now leave to the dungeons” I command them and they obey and leave without a word.

“Do you think that will work?” Dean asks.

“It’ll have to, that’s an alpha command” I answer him.

“But they will still wonder” Dylan adds.

“Yeah, But they won’t be able to even discuss it until we come up with some kind of explanation” I answer Dylan too.

Does these fools know how an alpha command works?

“Now leave, I need to go to my Ria” I say as I go around my desk to leave.

“His Ria? Didn’t he reject her?” I hear Dylan asking Dean.

“Oh, Yeah, let me explain” I hear Dean answering Dylan as I leave the room.

I can’t let her sleep thinking there is something between me and Izzy.

I need to make things right before the day ends, and maybe get another kiss?