Loveless

Chapter 3

POV Nora

I tuck Emma into bed and kiss her head. Then turn and do the same to Eli. I go to leave the room and when I reach the door I turn around. “Goodnight, I love you both and I will see you in the morning!” I shut the door and head to the living room where my mom is sitting on the couch with two glasses of wine. “I figured since you are finally out of bed we can sit and talk.” I nod and take one of the glasses from her and take a sip before she starts to talk again. “How are you feeling sweetie?” She looks at me worried. “I still don’t know how I feel, I just know that I have to put myself together for my kids. They need me now more than ever. I just hope that I’m enough...” Tears start to roll down my cheeks as I speak. My mother sits closer and holds my hand while she wipes my tears away. “You are an amazing mother and you're more than enough for those kids. I will be here as long as you need, to help with all the small stuff.” She smiles and kisses my forehead. “It's probably time for you to get some rest since we have to go see the lawyer tomorrow.” I nod and start to get up. My mom grabs my hand and I turn to look at her. “It does get better Nora. I know it hurts so bad, but you will recover someday.” She looks at me worried and I smile hoping to help her feel better. “I know mom. Thank you for everything you have done. I don’t know what I would do without you.” I give her hand a small squeeze before I head to bed.

Laying in our bed feels empty and cold without him here. He was always so warm that the whole bed felt like an oven. I use to give him cr*p about it in the summer because it meant we could only sleep with the top sheet or we would both turn into puddles. I turn to grab his pillow and pull it close. It smells like him and it makes me start to cry again. I miss him so much. I never thought I would have to do anything without him.

As I start to drift off; I begin dreaming about when Emma was born and how when he saw her for the first time his eyes lit up and he started crying. He held her and promised to always take care of and protect her. He was so excited to become a dad and I always joked that he loved her more than me, but honestly, he was an amazing father. He was so attentive to both of us and always willing to help. It didn't matter what task. He changed so many stinky diapers even though he complained and joked about how bad they were, yet he always handled the next one.

I wake up to Emma and Eli jumping on my bed giggling as they try to tickle each other and then me, after they realized I had opened my eyes. I was always worried that this would hurt their childhood but they were so full of life and joy and that made me happy. I sit up and start tickling them as they squirm and wiggle. My mom pushes the door open. “Come on you rascals, we need to get dressed.” The kids run out of the room and my mom watches them continue down the hall. “I called the lawyer and he said we can come in an hour to discuss some stuff. It seemed like it was very important.” I nod as I yawn and start to get my body moving. I walk to my closet and pull out a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. As I walk out of the room my mom is helping Eli put on his shoes.

I pick up Eli as my mom helps Emma put her jacket on. Eli looks so much like Connor with his blue eyes and dark hair. He has “his” olive skin. I rub his cheek and he looks at me. “Are you ok mommy?” I realize there are tears in my eyes. I smile through them “Yes sweetie mommy is ok, I just miss daddy.” He hugs me tight. “I miss daddy too.” I load him into the car seat. Emma hops into her carseat on the other side. My mom opens the passenger door and I get in. All I can think about is the funeral. That's the last time I left the house. I cried so much that day that my eyes ran out of tears, and when I finally laid down I had a horrible headache. I didn't leave my bed the next day. It hurt too much to do anything without him.

Next thing I know we are at the lawyer's office. I'm kind of scared to go in. What could he have possibly found that was so urgent. We walk in and he is waiting for us at the front desk. “Thank you for coming in so soon Mrs.Hart. I know grieving your husband must be hard...” He starts to guide us to a room as he continues talking. “But I found something very alarming that I think you should be aware of.” He opens the door and motions us to sit. “As I was going through your husband's will I found multiple accounts that you may not be aware of.” He slides a paper over to me with information on a couple of different accounts. I'm in shock. Why would he hide these from me? Why did he even have other accounts? He continues: “ I know that he told you he didn't have any family and that they had passed, but he had some people mentioned and I looked into them. They seem to be his parents and 2 siblings. They are still alive.” he slides another paper over and it has names and contact information. “I haven't contacted them but now you have the information.” I can't speak but I feel the tears streaming down my face. What kind of man has a secret life?