Amidst love and heartbreak

The first real kiss

Nolan’s POV

For the past hour, Aron has been drinking calmly on his own. There have been small talk here and there but none of us is addressing the elephant in the room. After a couple of minutes in total silence Aron takes a deep breath and finally starts speaking about what’s really going on.

“I am a loser. A total loser. I can’t even ask a girl on a date. I f*****g waited for four long years, accepting to be his friend and listen to her everything. I always tried to cheer her up or make her have at least some fun element in her life since she always put herself through hell to finish that damn school,” Aron said in one go. You could tell that he was really upset.

“What do you feel about her, buddy?” I asked.

“I don’t know. We’ve been flirting for I don’t know how long now and I thought that If I waited for the right moment she would accept to go out with me,” he said with his eyes down on the carpet. “For a long time I thought that it was just me talking to her and flirting with her, but I am sure that at certain moments she flirted back,”

“Maybe it’s just the game people play sometimes. The push and pull without actually acting on it,” Brandon says slowly. I know he is trying to make him feel like he shouldn’t give that much importance to this situation. In reality, they never were together, never had anything going on officially so Aron shouldn’t be this upset. But the truth is that he has the right to feel as heartbroken as he is. Whether he misunderstood the situation or she just changed her mind, he has the right to feel however he wants. 

“May I ask you a question?” I ask for permission and Aron just nods. “Do you really want her? Consider everything before you answer. Stop idolizing everything that you think of her and for a second only think about what you really want,” I explained and I saw him thoughtful. 

“Yes, I do. Emily is amazing. She is the most hard-working person I ever met in my life,”

“Geez, thanks brother,” Brandon butted in faking hurt but Aron just gave him a look and continued with his speech.

“.. she is a caring and loving girl that would push herself to the limits just not to ask for help because she doesn’t want her parents to have another cost added. She loves children, so I guess when the time comes, she will be a great mother. Emily has many talents and I wouldn’t be surprised to see her being a best-selling author of children’s books, just to give you an example,”

“You really like her, then,” I replied.

“I really like everything about her. I would have loved to be the one going out with her tonight,” he said with the same grim expression that he has had all night.

“Let me ask you another question. Are you able to go all the way against everything and everyone for her?” My eyes couldn’t not look at Brandon when I said that. 

Aron looked thoughtful for a few seconds and then stood up.

“I need to go,” Aron said but when he tried to move from the couch the alcohol finally kicked in full force and he lost his balance falling on the couch one more time.

“I think it is better if you take it slow. We can drive you home and then get a taxi back,” Brandon suggested.

“Yeah, I think it’s a good idea. I bet you had enough of a crybaby for tonight,”

Brandon’s POV

If I would mention one thing in my life that is a constant blessing, I would definitely say ‘my family’. They are the most supportive group of people in the entire world. I had my fair share of mistakes and problems in life but they were always there for me, loving me the same way as ever. When I told them that I had different likings (yeah that’s the way I said it, because I was afraid to say the word at the time), they were there supporting me and most definitely not judging me. Probably my parents would have loved to see me married and having kids once everything in my life was settled, but I don’t think that will be the case here. Even though, I think that the father instinct is somewhere inside me. 

Watching Aron like this today made me feel very protective of him. As special as this girl seems to him, I kind of hate her right now. My brother is not a drinker, and most definitely is not one to wallow in self-pity. This thing brought him to be something that he is not. 

Nolan, on the other hand, is the best that a man could wish for. I was so excited that he finally made a move. For a long time, I thought that he was still trying to hide his true nature. The fact that he finally asked me out on a date, means a lot to me. I wanted to know how far he was willing to go; what he had prepared for us tonight. But it will be for another time. When I said that I was going to make it up to him, I was feeling so guilty that I would have bought the world for him. But I guess, I should step back and wait for him to show me what he wants.

Watching Nolan calm Aron that easily while giving him really great advice showed me what a gem he really is. He is right, though. We should probably drive Aron back home. I would have left him sleeping here in the guest bedroom. It would not be the first time my brother sleeps here. I wonder why he was so eager to send him home,  but since I still feel bad about our cancelled night out, I don’t say anything.

“Here, hold on to me,” I said to Aron, giving him my arm. He took it and stood up slower this time. I took out Aron’s car keys and we all went out of the house. 

“What if we take my car?” Nolan suddenly said and I nodded. I will drop Aron’s car tomorrow, or make him come get it.

The drive to my parent's house was short and quiet. The silence was comfortable, though. In less than half an hour we had dropped Aron home and now we're sitting in his car in silence.

“I am sorry…” I start saying as soon as I close the door.

“There is nothing to be sorry about,” he says immediately. I am confused now.

“What…?”

“Let’s drive somewhere. We can still save the night. It’s not that late,” he says with a soft smile on his face. He looks tired but probably doesn’t want to give up.

“Okay. Where are we going?”

“You will see,” he says and starts the car one more time. He drove for almost forty minutes on the east side of the city. I am not very familiar with this side of the city. It’s far from the nightlife and the brightness of the city lights. We are near a park now and since it’s night time there is no one around. He pulls the car near a clearing and opens his door.

“Wait here,” he says and I do as he says. I wonder what he is planning.

Nolan turned to the other side of the car and opened the door for me. A smile comes on my face. This is a first. In relationships, I have always been the one to do the courting. I am usually the predator. I would have never thought to become the prey, even though Nolan doesn’t seem the predator type. My heart is beating faster and I feel something I have never felt before...different I might say.

“Where are we?”

“This is my secret place. I come here every time I need to think or just need a break from my day. This is where I was planning to finish the date. I wanted you to know some things about me and this is one of them,”

“It’s beautiful. I feel very happy that I have met you. I know you probably had planned something very special for us tonight and I will not ask, because, as you requested, I will let you have another turn on this. But, let me tell you that this would have been almost the best ending of the date,” I said with a smug smile on my face. I saw him confused for a bit but I didn’t let him ask anything. “What you said to Aron earlier about being ready to fight and find yourself against everyone just to be with the person you like, is everything I wish for us. You know I will fight for you and even though I have a very supportive family and some incredible friends, I would fight against everyone for you,” ‘I only wish you are ready to fight for me, for us, Nolan’ I wanted to say but didn’t because I didn’t want him to feel pressured or feel bad.

“I hope this is enough to show you what I think about what you just said,” he said and came closer to kiss my cheek. I know he is shy but this moment here is making me feel shy as well. I know this is not the first time we kiss, but it was always me who initiated them, or better say stole them. This was different. This is me feeling like a high-school kid once more. “...and show you what you probably wanted to ask me but didn’t,” he finished his sentence and put his arm around my neck. With a sudden movement, he pulled my head lower and our lips connected in the first real kiss we shared. Everything we had before this was either a game, attraction or shying away. This… was perfect. Everything I had wished for in a kiss. Everything I wanted tonight to be about. When earlier I said that this place would have been almost perfect to end the date, this is what I was hoping for. 

I normally am a guy that goes all-in. There were many one nights stands on my list and let’s say that I was not the nicest person afterwards. But this person, this amazing boy right in front of me is not the case. The smitten look on his face right now and the blushing cheeks tell me exactly how he is feeling. He better not break my heart because I think I am falling for him hard, and that is a feeling a player like me has never had to deal with.