Chapter 35.2
1416 Words
The next few weeks were spent by me writing new songs again. I have already signed my contract despite being home everyday for 24 hours. The company was very understanding, and they do everything so I can do my stuff comfortably.
Also, because I’m still not comfortable in public, they let me pass on interviews. According to my contract, my only responsibility is singing. That’s it. As long as I sing, there will be no questions asked. In Sir Steve’s words, ‘your singing is enough. If other people don’t see or appreciate that, it’s their loss.’ I’m just so proud to be in a company where they value their artist more than their profit.
Mom was flying back and forth from here to china but when I started recording songs, she stayed here with me. I didn’t try to go out again and I kept myself busy to avoid thinking of that one person I really wanted to meet but I’m scared.
Two months after I went back, my new song was released. I was immediately trending in different social media sites. I didn’t read their comments but based on my mother’s facial expressions, I guessed more people liked it.
“Okay! 1 more minute!” Sir Leo announced as we wait for the announcement of song ranking for the week in melon, an online music store and a music streaming serviced develop by a telecom company.
I wasn’t there live because I wasn’t still ready to go out in public, but I still hoped that despite lacking o my presence in music shows, the people would still appreciate what I created.
I was thinking so deeply that I was startled when everybody in the room started jumping and congratulating me. Apparently, I won and ranked no. 1 for the week. After the mini celebration, my song was played because I wasn’t to present to perform the encore. I immediately went back to my memories as I write the song.
There goes my heart beating
'Cause you are the reason
I'm losing my sleep
Please come back now
Despite me having a weak heart, I still have the reason the live. Despite me hurting from people who hates me, I still believed that there are people out there who still appreciates my art, my voice and my songs. Back then, Silas believes in me. He loves my existence more than my shortcomings. And with that, I’m thankful forever.
There goes my mind racing
And you are the reason
That I'm still breathing
I'm hopeless now
I thought that if I die, it would be okay. That if I’m gone, then everything would be at peace. But I realized that before I decide to leave, I should set the people I love free. Because when I’m gone, I don’t want them to feel sad and to feel sorry for me. I want them to live there life and be happy.
I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, 'cause I need you to see
That you are the reason
I’ll fly and face my fears just to see him again. Because despite everything that happened, he still remains the owner of my broken heart. That he I the reason why I chose to fight. And even if I’m not the one in his heart anymore, I would be fine. As long as he’s happy.
There goes my hands shaking
And you are the reason
My heart keeps bleeding
I need you now
And if I could turn back the clock
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark
I'd spend every hour, of every day
Keeping you safe
If I can turn back time, I would still choose to save my friends. But what I would change is the fact that I lied so that I can hurt him and get rid of our relationship. I should’ve fought more. For our relationship, for him, for our love.
And I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, 'cause I need you to see
That you are the reason (I don't wanna fight no more)
I don't wanna hide no…
If the heavens grant me another chance, I will use every luck I have and pas it to the people I hurt the most. Because at this point, I don’t need to be happy anymore. I just want them to find their peace.
The next few weeks were filled with speculations about my newly released song. Most people said that it was about Silas. And they were right. But of course, nobody in the company confirmed that. The rules of the entertainment industry are to not feel the fire with fuel and just let it die down. As long as we keep quiet, the fans would immediately forget about that certain issue.
“Are you nervous?” my mother asked as she caressed my hair.
We’re already inside the van and minutes from now, I would be inside the Golden Medalist Company. This is my first time going there with people actually inside. When I go there to record, we scheduled it at night so that no one can sneak at us.
But today is different, there will be actual people and I’ll be able to meet them.
When I finally step my foot on the building, I was startled when employees and my fellow artist started clapping their hands.
“Congratulations on your comeback, Erina!” they shouted in unison.
I immediately bowed to them as a sign of my gratefulness with their support. I greeted some managers that I used to know while I also tried to get to know some new faces, I’m not familiar with. There are foods delivered in each of the floors, so most employees went back to their offices to eat while some producers, managers and even some artist went with us in the conference room to eat.
I was eating silently while my mom and famous producer were talking by my side when people started making noise. I looked up and saw why.
“Silas! You’re late!” the producer who was talking to my mom went to man-hug Silas while the latter just gave his frugal smile. Maybe I was staring so hard at him that he might have noticed. I was startled when he suddenly looked at me too. I immediately averted my gaze. I’m still not ready after that last encounter.
Because the conference is jam packed with people conversing in different topics, I was able to go out and go the bathroom without being noticed. I was about to go straight back after peeing when someone from the men’s restroom caught my eye.
We stared at each other for god knows how long before I finally decide to break it up.
“I’m sorry that you saw me here today,” I wasn’t even done with what I’m saying when his forehead creased. “I won’t be in the company most of the days, don’t worry,” I added.
“I’m not worried,” I thought he would just ignore me, but I was shocked when he actually speaks.
“O-Okay?” I asked and answered confused.
“Congratulations on your new song,” I don’t know if I’m dreaming or am, I really having a decent conversation with Silas Henry Kim right now? Is the world ending?
“T-Thank you,” I’m not sure if I should smile or what with him so I ended up smiling like a weirdo who recently forgot to take her pill.
“Congratulations on your new movies to---”
I was cut off in the middle when the cellphone he’s holding started ringing. I just smiled at him urging him to answer the call. While I wait for him.
“Theia? Hey…...”
Or maybe I should’ve just gone when I had the chance to.
- Writer
