Chapter 36
1228 Words
Tonight?”
All I wanted at the very moment was to walk away and cry in a secluded room where no one would be disturbed by my ugly crying. But I can’t, because for the first time after we’ve met, I don’t want to disappoint him even more. I want to be civil. And if it’s not too much to ask, I want to be friends with him again.
Because no matter what happened in the past and in the future, I know that whatever memories I have with him will be forever cherished and tattooed on my mind and heart. If my disease beats me, then at least I’ll go without regrets. And that’s my only goal right now.
“Okay. I’ll see you later,” he finally ended the call then stared at me with a blank expression.
I don’t know why seeing no emotions on his face hurts me more than when he’s angry. It’s like there’s nothing he feels for me. Literally nothing, as in he doesn’t care anymore. And that’s the scariest thing I can imagine. That the person I shared memories with now treats me like a stranger.
That the person who used to kiss and hug me now doesn’t want anything to do with me. The person who used to be happy whenever I’m around now doesn’t even notice my presence. The person who used to love my existence now forgets about me. It hurst like hell. It hurts more than the tightening on my chest.
I don’t think my weak heart will be the death of me. Because from what I’m seeing, Silas is the only person who can wreck me to death. He’s the only one who can make me cry pails of tears but still disrupts the butterflies on my stomach.
He’s the only one. Because I’ll never love again. with all the uncertainties going on in my life, that is the only one I’m sure of.
“Do you need something from me?” he asked with that deep but honey-like voice that makes me melt around him.
“I-I…...”
I thought getting a chance to talk to him was the hardest thing to do but it turns out that talking to him is definitely not as easy as I thought it would be.
And it’s not helping that he’s literally just standing there like he’s pissed of waiting to whatever nonsense that would come out of mouth.
“Ms. Lee? I don’t have a lot of time.”
Ms. Lee? f**k that was a hard blow. And it hurts so much.
“I was just hoping if we could have a private talk.”
“This is a private talk. There’ no one here,” he answered like I’m the dumbest human being he’s ever talked to.
“No! I mean, I just want to ask for a little time of yours.”
“So, you want to schedule an appointment with me?”
Appointment? That sounds so business-like. I wanted to say that I want as to have a casual talk where we can probably converse about what happened in the past. But he’s making it sound all business and that I’m nothing to him but a mere coworker he doesn’t even want to work with.
“If that is what you want.”
“What I want?” he raised his eyebrow like he’s going t drop a bomb on my face. “What I want is to stay away from you as far as possible. But since you’re already working here, I guess I’m not going to be able to do that. So, no Ms. Lee. You can’t ask me what I want because you wouldn’t like the answer.”
“I’m sorry,” is all I can say while I push back my tears. I don’t want to cry in front of him. I don’t want to appear weak even though I really am. For once, I want him to see the old me. The strong Erina who wouldn’t let anything, or anyone hurt her. Or even if she’s hurt, she would die before anyone can see it.
“I’ve heard enough of your sorry. Now, if you don’t have anything to say to me, I need to go,” he was about to walk away but I immediately grabbed his arm without thinking of the repercussions of my actions.
I thought this only happens in movies, but the moment I toughed his arm, I immediately felt the electricity that travelled from my hand to all the parts of my body. I looked up from his arm to his eyes which were onto me too. I saw something in his eyes that made me think that he felt what I felt too. And it made me happy.
But that was only a moment of joy because when he raised his eyebrow and smirked with that beautiful mouth of his, I felt unknown feelings deep in my heart.
“Please,” I pleaded as I looked at his blazing eyes again. I have no choice but to beg because I don’t know when this chance will be given to me again. or if there is even another chance. And I’m nowhere near giving up.
“Call me,” he answered coldly then removed my hands from his arm.
“I don’t know your number,” I answered.
“I didn’t change it.”
I immediately bowed my head because I didn’t know how to answer to that. I’m embarrassed is the right thing to say.
“I-I……... d-deleted your number,” I stuttered as I tried my best to find courage despite this horrible situation that I’m in.
“Wow,” I turned even more red as I heard his sarcastic laugh. “Wow! You really have the guts, huh?” he said as I still refused to look at him.
“Fine. Give me your number,” he dismissively said as he passed me his phone.
I immediately typed my number but out of embarrassment from earlier, I didn’t save it. Because I also didn’t know how. Do I type Erina? Or Ms. Lee? Or ex-girlfriend? What right?
While I was thinking about all the embarrassing things I did today, he was already done saving my number, or did he even save it? I didn’t even get the chance to see what name he put.
“I’ll call you when I have time,” he coldly said as he looked at my eyes.
“I’ll wait,” I tried to smile brightly. But when he smirked evilly right at my face, my smile turned awkward.
- Writer
