BETS ON HEART

ADESSA POV. "I never loved her, how could I reduce myself to such? It was all a bet between the boys and I," “A bet” The word didn't just land, it echoed loudly, my ears ringing. My pulse stopped, I would feel my legs growing weak as I wrapped my hands around me, my head bowed but I could still feel it. “She really thought-” Their gaze, the murmurs, the little laughs, sharp and careless. "Ades, I—" "Shut up!" I looked up at him, his eyes stared at me as if he was truly sorry but God forbid that I be fooled again. Those eyes which once kept me trapped now disgusted me so much I wanted to bulge them out. "Ades, I can explain," He leaned closer trying to touch me but I pulled backwards, a lump forming in my throat. How could I be so stupid?! How could someone who has always wanted me dead suddenly start loving me and I fell for it? Was I desperate? "How much were you worth?" I fired back trying to fight the shiver in my veins. "How much could make you reduce your standards?!" I used his words loudly. “Was everything we had a joke? The promises, kisses and memories, was it all a joke?” I screamed while trying to hold myself from crying. "I—it was just—" he bowed his head and I chuckled, dropping my hand. “It wasn't just supposed to go that far but I lo-” "You disgust me," I spat my lips trembling. Cassie had warned. Not once, not gently. “Adessa don't you find it suspicious, someone who once hated one is nice to you all of a sudden, and you guys are moving too fast it's dangerous” “No it's not, maybe he found out that I was a nice person” And I laughed thinking I knew better, like I wasn't starved for it for the attention, love. All I wanted was someone who would love me, at home I was nothing, never heard, always blamed, attention starved. So when he started showing me attention, I grabbed it like the starved girl I was. My nails pressed into my skin giving me the pain to know everything was real. **** Reaching for my car, keys fumbling I might have dropped them once, twice… before I finally opened the door. The headlights cut through the darkness and I could see him. Standing, not moving.. Maybe even worse watching me wallow in self pity. Guess I really was easy. Easy to want, easy to win and easy to forget. I bring the engine to life, the sound covering the muffled sound of the bass speakers from the party, but not the one in my heart. Notifications pop on my phone, lighting the screen and I could see a picture of us. . I was looking at him like something rare, loving. And the way he smiled like it meant something. Like I meant something. ADRIAN: Please Ades, let me explain please. The message stays there unopened. He sends a message again but this time a voice. My finger hovered over the screen, trembling slightly as if my body hadn't yet gotten the message I was done. My vision turns blurry not from the road but tears I had promised myself never to cry for any man. For him. The lights changed. Horns blaring. Headlights too close. BANG! My world twisted, glass shattering my body lifting up looking weightless for a second which felt like forever. His name flashing again. My blood smeared on my broken phone screen. “Too late” I could barely whisper from the pain. My phone rang with the songs I fixed for him. And then nothing but blank darkness covers me.