A Simple Truth

Chapter 1Charlie Labrecque was nervous. On the outside, there wasn’t any reason for him to be. The Labor Day party he’d organized for his neighbors had gone off without a hitch. Everyone had loved his steaks and sausages; two people insisted on getting the recipe for his marinade, while someone else couldn’t believe he’d made the garlicky turkey sausages himself. Charlie laughed and joked what else he was going to do with his time now that his son had gone back to his mom’s to get ready for the school year, but to him, his laughter sounded hollow. He was going to miss Christian. The summer had flown by too quickly. No, Charlie’s anxiety stemmed from something else entirely. Through his lashes, he watched his neighbor from three doors down lounge in one of the deck chairs, toying with a longneck beer as he chatted with Mrs. Kinley from across the street. Bryce Hanson was nearly ten years Charlie’s junior, and in all honesty, his best friend in the neighborhood. The unkempt blond waves glinted with red highlights, like a copper penny bleached by the sun, and the scruff he always sported was enough to make mouths water, itching to taste the texture. He was a bundle of compressed, intense energy, and even from across the length of the deck, the younger man’s green eyes pinned whatever company he kept in place. Bryce was also gay. He’d never hidden his sexuality from his neighbors, but he didn’t flaunt it either, which made it easier for conservatives like the Hanshaws on the corner to accept him in neighborhood circles. Charlie was all too aware of what a double standard it was, but this wasn’t San Francisco, or New York, or some liberal college town. This was Denver. Things were improving, but there were definitely better places for a gay man to live in this country. That was one of the biggest reasons Charlie kept his own sexuality private. It had destroyed his marriage, but nobody had ever discovered the truth. Not even Bryce, and he had been around for the worst of Charlie’s moods. He’d been the one to offer the long hikes in Fern Canyon to get Charlie’s mind off everything, and he’d been the one to suggest the cooking classes to distract him from the divorce minutiae. Charlie owed Bryce a lot. And tonight, he was finally going to tell him the truth. If Charlie didn’t chicken out beforehand. As the sun started to set, people began trickling back to their homes. Charlie finished scraping off the grill and closed the lid, hanging his brushes from the side hooks. Grabbing his empty beer bottle, he headed for the man who’d consumed his thoughts all day. “Can I get your help with the empties?” he asked Bryce, nodding toward the overflowing bag next to the drinks’ cooler. Bryce promptly pushed himself to his feet and finished off the last swallow of beer in his bottle. “I can stick around for cleanup duties if you promise to send me home with some of that leftover sausage.” “Only if you promise to eat them and not give them to Sadie. She’s a great dog, but something tells me she just won’t appreciate how good they turned out.” “No, her palate isn’t refined enough to enjoy it. For now, it’s regular old Alpo for her.” He gathered up the four bottles that had been on the deck next to his chair. Charlie had been paying close enough attention to know that all four did not belong to Bryce. “You want to keep everything separated for recycling?” “Yeah, if we can.” They worked in silent but friendly cooperation, scooping up anything that looked abandoned. Charlie called and waved goodbye to the guests that took this as the sign to leave. It hadn’t been his intention, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. The sooner it was just the two of them, the sooner he could get everything off his chest. Provided he could get the topic introduced in the first place. “This turned out pretty well,” he said when they were finally alone. “Don’t you think?” “Best Labor Day cookout I’ve ever been to. And I’ve attended quite a few in my time.” He upturned another bottle of beer and watched the contents drain into the gravel on the side of the patio with a grimace. “God, I hate when people do that. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re stuck with Labor Day party duty from now on.” “That’s not so bad. It’s good having people around.” Charlie rolled his neck, wincing when it cracked. “Though next time I won’t be so stubborn about doing so much on my own.” “Good. I told you it was insane to try do all this by yourself. I’ll promise my potato salad for next year. And I’m a champion at slicing up watermelon, if I do say so myself.” “Sure, you say that now. You couldn’t have told me that before I nearly chopped my thumb off two hours ago?” Bryce grinned. “But you were so cute, wielding that big knife like you thought you knew what you were doing.” “That’s the problem.” Charlie returned his smile as he held open the back door for him. “I thought I did.” He followed Bryce inside, and together they dropped the recyclables into their respective bins in the back room. Even inside, the scents from the barbecue remained. It gave the house a more lived-in atmosphere than it normally did. Or at least, than it did when Christian wasn’t visiting. “Do we really need to worry about the rest of it just yet?” Charlie hovered at the kitchen door, looking longingly at his recliner in the living room. “I just want to get off my feet for a few minutes.” “If you sit down, you won’t want to get up again.” Bryce began opening and closing drawers, finally holding up a box of plastic wrap with an unmistakable look of triumph. “Won’t it be easier to clean up this mess now?” “Easier, yes. Fun, no.” His stomach flip-flopped as Bryce turned away again, going for the cupboard that held the Tupperware. Maybe asking him to stick around was a bad thing. They’d gone this long without the truth coming out. What did Bryce care what his sexuality was? “You know, you really don’t have to do this. I’ll take care of it. Why don’t you go home?” “I know what you’re trying to do. If you make me go home, you can leave all this sitting out and go drink beer in front of the television. It’s not going to work.” Bryce poured what remained of the baked beans into a Tupperware container, then added several of the leftover sausages. “That’s mine, by the way.” “I won’t leave all this sitting out. This is my dinner for the next week.” Begrudgingly, Charlie moved away from the lure of his recliner and farther into the kitchen, closer to Bryce, closer to temptation. Ever since he’d made this decision, it had been increasingly difficult to just hang out with the younger man. Nobody knew him like Bryce did. Nobody put him at such ease. But finally choosing to be totally honest with him had shifted everything just slightly off-center. Bryce was still Bryce, but he was more than that. He was a very attractive young man who had fueled one or two of Charlie’s most private fantasies. They were fantasies he would never act upon, of course. Bryce was his friend. Just because Charlie could appreciate the man’s bitable ass did not mean he was willing to sacrifice their friendship for a quick f**k. “Don’t throw that,” he said when he saw Bryce about to dump the rest of the peanut butter pie into the trash. Neither one of them liked it, but he’d picked one up because he thought the neighborhood kids might. “Mrs. Kinley asked if she could have the leftovers. I’m going to run that over tomorrow.” Bryce wrinkled his nose. “Well, she’s welcome to it. Yet, somehow, I’m not surprised she’d want to have the leftovers.” He covered it in plastic wrap and wedged it into the fridge. He looked up and caught Charlie’s gaze. “You really want to get rid of me? I won’t hang around if you’re tired.” “No, don’t go.” The words came out before he could think otherwise. Because when Bryce looked at him like that, Charlie couldn’t breathe. “We’ll have you lounging on your chair in no time,” Bryce promised. They worked in silence for a few minutes before Bryce asked softly, “How you doing? I got the impression you spent most of the day looking for Christian.” “I did.” He put the plug in the sink and started the hot water. Some of the utensils would need to be soaked before coming clean. “I forgot how big this house is when he’s not around.” “He’s flying out for Thanksgiving, right? That’s not too far away.” “Two and a half months. Sometimes I wish I’d moved to Chicago when Sarah went back. At least then I’d see Christian more often.” “Yeah, that’s true. But you have the right to have your own life, too. I think Christian is old enough to understand that. He’s a pretty sharp kid.” Bryce smirked. “He must get that from his mother’s side of the family.” Charlie splashed some of the soapy water at Bryce in protest, grinning when the younger man twisted to take it mostly on his back. “I should probably be glad he’s not around for you to influence even more than you do. The entire ride to the airport, all I heard was ‘Bryce said this’ and ‘Bryce did that.’“ “Like I said, he’s a sharp kid. He knows wisdom when he hears it. And fortunately, I’m full of information and clever witticisms.” Bryce dumped several serving utensils into the soapy water. “I’ll stick around and help you take your mind off things.” “Actually…” Charlie took a deep breath. He had to do it; he knew that. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about.” “You’re not going to move to Chicago, are you?” He blinked. “No, of course not. I just…it doesn’t have to do with Christian. Not really. Well, maybe in an obscure way, if you count the divorce.” Bryce wiped his hands on his pants and stood with his hip against the counter. “What does it have to do with?” “Why Sarah and I got the divorce in the first place.” “And you want to talk to me about it? Okay. I’m all ears.” Another deep breath. Though deep breaths weren’t really doing a whole lot to stifle the jumping beans exploding in his gut. “Can we do this in the living room?” Charlie tried to smile; he wondered if it looked as strained as it felt. “Or doesn’t the slave driver approve yet?” Bryce glanced around the kitchen. “Well, you don’t have any food going rancid on the counter, and I’ve already taken what I want. So I guess I approve.” Charlie wiped his hands on a towel and tossed it onto the counter. He felt every one of the steps to the recliner, and while sitting down was a relief, seeing Bryce settle in the corner of the couch closest to him was not. “You were a great help during the divorce, you know that, right?” Rather than leaning back, Charlie angled toward Bryce. “I couldn’t have made it without you.” Bryce rested his right foot on his knee and absently played with his shoelaces. “Well, I did what I could to help. I was sorry to see you go through that s**t. Hell, I was sorry to see all three of you go through that.” “Yeah, well, most of it was my fault. Because I wasn’t honest with anybody. Including you, so before I say anything, I just want you to know I’m sorry about that.” Bryce laughed lightly. “You’re scaring me here, buddy. Like you’re going to ask me to help you hide the body or something.” The joke was welcome, and Charlie chuckled accordingly. “No, nothing like that. It’s more like…Sarah left because I finally told her I was gay.” Bryce’s eyes widened. “After eleven years that must have come as quite the shock.” “Um, yeah, shock is probably an understatement. But I was just…tired of having to pretend. And once the shock wore off, she was good about it. Probably better than I deserved.” “Why didn’t you tell me when everything was happening? Why wait so long?” Charlie rubbed at the back of his neck. “Because I didn’t tell anybody about it. Christian didn’t even know until this summer. I didn’t do it expecting to walk in the pride parade or anything. I only did it because I was tired of my life being a lie everywhere I turned.” “And you’re telling me now because…Christian knows?” “I’m telling you now because you deserve to know the truth. Because now that I don’t have to worry about Christian accidentally finding out, I’m probably going to try dating a little. Maybe. I still haven’t decided about that yet.” Bryce inclined his head in a slight nod. “Well, I know it can be really scary to jump right into the dating scene. If you need any help or anything, I’ll do what I can. Tell you where the clubs are. The gay community around here isn’t huge, so I can even tell you what guys to avoid.” Charlie grimaced. “God. Clubs. Aren’t I too old for that now?” “Too old to go dancing and have fun? I don’t think that’s possible. Plus, there are clubs that cater to the older set. I bet you didn’t even know that. See? You need me.” Something skittered through his veins at the way Bryce said the last. “Ha. Right. You’re my gay training wheels now.” “Everybody should be so lucky as to have me as their gay training wheels.” Bryce tilted his head thoughtfully. “So when was the last time you had a…date?” “Does never make me sound pathetic?” Charlie squirmed under that intent gaze. “Not a real date anyway. I had a few hook-ups before I met Sarah, but that’s it.” “Oh, no, I wouldn’t say pathetic. A little sad, maybe. I mean, does that mean you’ve basically been living like a monk?” Bryce said the last with a sharp hint of horror. He laughed. “Well, I don’t think monks had porn available to them twenty-four/seven on the Internet. But yeah, that means I haven’t been with another guy since before Sarah.” He was feeling slightly better about telling Bryce. The younger man hadn’t reacted with anger about being left out or lied to all these years. That boded well. “So that was what? Fifteen years?” Bryce gaped. “That’s…wow. I suppose instant access porn would help things, but still.” “That’s because you’re still young. You’re not an old man like me. Fifteen years ago, you didn’t even have body hair.” “Yeah, and fifteen years ago, you were practically a kid yourself. So…how did you end up with Sarah?” Charlie finally relaxed, pushing back in the recliner in order to lift the foot rest. The ache in his lower back immediately eased. “I never had the guts to admit to myself I might actually be interested in guys except for the occasional s*x thing, so I always dated girls. Dating Sarah was actually pretty easy because she’s so gentle with everything. It didn’t matter if we didn’t have s*x right away. We graduated and…it just seemed like the next step was marriage.” “Yeah, I know a few guys like that. They couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to go their weddings. I would feel like a huge hypocrite going to the celebration of a doomed relationship. I would ask if you regret it, but somehow I doubt you could regret the choice that led to Christian.” “No, absolutely no regrets about that. And honestly, Sarah and I were pretty happy as long as I didn’t think about what I was missing.” “But…I don’t understand. You came clean with her because you were tired of living a lie, as you said, but you haven’t even had a date since your divorce? Charlie, man, that was a long time ago. What have you been waiting for?” A slow flush crept into Charlie’s cheeks. “It’s only been three years since the divorce. And how could I start dating before telling Christian? He could’ve found out on one of his visits, and then that talk would’ve been even more awkward than it was.” “He’s only here for a few months out of the year,” Bryce said gently. “I understand that you don’t want to date while Christian is visiting, but…with all due respect, that just sounds like an excuse to me.” He sighed. “Yeah, maybe. I just…I haven’t figured out yet how to do this. Nobody at the bank is gay. I don’t think, at least. And I’ve looked at some of the online dating sites, but that feels a little creepy.” Bryce beamed. “Well, you know me. And if there’s anything I’m good at, it’s dating.” His smile faded a bit. “I don’t know if that’s necessarily something to be proud of. But my point is, I can help. And I will.” “You want me to go to a club.” Charlie shook his head. “I don’t think I’m up for that yet. Isn’t there a nice and quiet gay bookstore or something I can hang out at?” “Gay bookstore? Maybe the Tattered Cover, if you really want to go that route. There’s also the Bump and Grind Café, if you’re looking for a safe, quiet, boring coffee shop. But you know, clubs aren’t that bad. There’s more guys around, and not all of them are full of twinks and loud music.” He had probably been trawling through too many websites and read too much porn to get a real view on what clubs were like. The images in Charlie’s head were of bears in leather and skinny young men in eyeliner hanging on their every word. With grungy gloryholes in the bathrooms and house music that would give him a headache as soon as he walked in. He hadn’t even been fond of the straight clubs when he’d been young enough not to care. It just wasn’t his style. “How do you meet guys?” he asked instead. “It depends on what I’m looking for. If I just need to get laid, I check out hook up sites. Or craigslist. It’s not too hard to find somebody clean and willing. The boyfriends I had I found through school, or a friend of a friend, a club once, and even the grocery store. You know, normal places.” “Of course, it’s not too hard. Look at you. They probably fall in your lap.” Bryce looked down at himself, like Charlie had issued a genuine directive. “I don’t think there’s anything special about me.” Charlie waited for him to joke off his response, but when that didn’t happen, when he realized Bryce was utterly serious, his brows shot up. “Are you kidding me? You don’t really need me to tell you how sexy you are, do you?” He laughed at how absurd that notion was. “If you weren’t my best friend in the neighborhood, I would have hit on you as soon as Sarah moved away.” Bryce blinked. “Oh, well. I had no idea…I mean, I don’t think you’re going to have any problems getting guys to fall in your lap. For what it’s worth.” He waved him off. “That’s because you’re my friend. I’ve trained you to ignore how socially inept I am.” “You’re not socially inept. Besides, if we’re talking purely looks here…yeah, you’re not going to have any problems. Since this is apparently true confessions time, I’ll admit, I…noticed you the first time we met.” It would have been easier to hear if Bryce wasn’t looking right at him when he said it. Charlie’s c**k stirred, awakened by both the declaration and the intensity in the other man’s gaze. His eyes seemed even clearer than normal, brighter, devoid of anything but that moment. That was the true power he held. The ability to make everything disappear but him and the immediate surroundings. Sometimes those, too. “Did you know I was gay?” It would explain how easily Bryce accepted the announcement. “I didn’t know it. I mean, you don’t have a big queer sign over your head or something, and I think that gaydar thing is largely a myth combined with some wishful thinking. But sometimes I might have suspected.” His eyes widened with sudden alarm. “In my defense, you have a really great ass.” Bryce chuckled. “I’ve been told as much, but I always appreciate it when somebody checks it out.” He sobered. “So besides me, Sarah, and Christian, does anybody else know?” “I told my sister after the divorce. And my mom found out last spring when I decided Christian was old enough to handle the truth.” Charlie shrugged. “Other than that, no, nobody else. I’m not out at work, and…there hasn’t been anybody else I’d trust telling.” Bryce leaned over and gripped Charlie’s knee, squeezing it once before release him. “Thanks for trusting me.” Smiling back at him now was infinitely easier than when they’d first sat down. “Thanks for making it easy.”