Blood of the Wolf

......... I was running a baby in one arm, a toddler on the other hip. There isn't much time, I have to hide them. I found the last room down the hall. I put the baby in the crip and my toddler on the bed, they are both crying. My heart was breaking, but I could lock this room. The police were on the phone, but I know they won't make it in time. His screaming is growing louder as another door slams. Kissing both my babies, "God please help me, I just need enough time." I run threw the door closing it behind me. Turning the lock and shoving the key deep in my pocket. They scream more and tears burn my the backs of my eyes. "He's not gonna touch them. Over my dead body." My feet burn against the floor as I run down the hallway. Don't let him know which room. I just need to stall. I throw my body around the corner and come face to face with him. Fear ripping threw me. I know what's coming. It's going to hurt. There's no stopping it. "Give him to me!" his voice reverberates off the walls. "NO!" I stand up as tall as I can at five foot nothing, against a six foot two man twice my size. I see his arm come flying around as I try to duck the hit. Just a little time. He grabs ahold of my hair ripping my head back painfully, and stepping up chest to chest. His heat is to much, my scalp throbs and screams in protest. I don't move an inch, I don't even flinch. I narrow my eyes at him and square up waiting for an opportunity to make an attack. "Give him to me now you stupid b***h or loose them both." he spits the words out like venom. I know what his meaning is, give him my eldest or he'll k**l the younger one. "F**K YOU!" The scream rips out of my throat like a growl. I bring my left knee up into his groin with enough force to hurt myself and swing up with my right fist knocking him to the wall. I loose my balance as his grip on my hair rips backwards and then releases slamming me into the opposite wall and a door frame. That should have made him mad enough. I try to run further from the kids to draw him away. One step.....two....and I'm being drug back by the arm. "I'll k**l you, I swear." The words spits out of his mouth. I try to break free. My skin burning as I turn in his grasp. He reaches for my wrist and I hear it crack. My feet are off the ground and his grasp is gone but there is no stopping what's about to happen. Threw the no longer closed bathroom door. My shirt rips as the door gives, the handle catching me. My back bends unnaturally as I make contact with the bathroom sink. My head flips back into the mirror, the sound of it shattering heard threw my skull more then my ears. He's barreling down on top of me, no soul found in his eyes. I can hear the kids cries as my body collapsed on the floor blood coming from who knows where. There are no sirens to be heard. Just a little time. My vision starts to haze around the edges. I can't move, my body won't communicate with my brain. CRACK another blow. I can't move...... CRACK!!! I can't breath.... CRACK!!!!!! .......... My eyes shoot open. I'm breathing hard my, body dripping in sweat. The bed is damp beneath me. It was just a nightmare. I look around the unfamiliar room. It was home but it just didn't feel like home. Being away three years will do that to you. All three of us were here. In this one room, a crib, a twin, and a queen bed, plus three dressers, and entertainment center. It was cramped to say the least. Leo and Tate were sleeping soundly, oblivious to the torment that played in my head. Hopefully it stays that way forever. I gazed at them hopeful but hurt. They went threw that hell too, and it was my fault. I saw the window light up and thunder fallowed shortly behind. Thank you my old friend. I need you tonight. I sighed and slid out of bed as quietly as possible. It's to claustrophobic in here. Given the situation a guest suite off the main house was more then enough for the boys and I. Private entrance, bathroom, just enough room for their stuff and a place to sleep, but cramped it was. I slipped on a pair of jeans and a thin camisole and snuck out the door as quietly as possible. Then out the rear door, leaving them both open to hear the kids if they woke and cried. I tenderly walked outside the gravel poking against my bare feet. I've always loved the storms. There was just something about them that washed the soul clean and cleared the mind. I could use that about right now. I felt broken and unclean from the last years. I hadn't been home for very long, just a couple months. Enough to get back to work, heal a bit, talk to a couple old friends. Something was just different and I couldn't explain it. It didn't feel the same anymore. Another sigh slips threw my lips. Don't get me wrong, Kansas is where I was ment to be. Where the fields grow green and the trees could sing to you. The sky rolls it's cleansing powers as needed in the spinning winds and flames of tornado alley. Not like the desert, there I felt weak all the time, nothing lived or thrived well. It was a kill or be killed type of place. There was just something different now about home. Maybe it was because of my age, or maybe it was due to how mentally and physically broken I am. Whatever it was, it just wasn't the same. I didn't get the same joy and serenity, or confidence I used to from my old stomping grounds. Time changes a lot of things and this was no exception. But the rain..... the rain still had it's powers. I crossed the drive and let my toes nestle into the grass as it hummed in the wind. I listened as the trees sang their song as if it was ment just for just me. I could feel the storm coming, building it's strength, thunder heads rolling without a care in the world. Lightning breaking the sky in a brilliant dance. My mind goes quiet and my heart races with anticipation. I tilt my head twords the sky letting my hair whip around me in the wind. The first drop of rain landed on my face. Full of it's magic abilities, seeping into my soul. Something caught my attention, a feeling, or a sense is more like it. Something is there in the darkness, just out of my sight. It didn't feel threatening it felt......Warm?....Was that the word for it? I look down and scanned across the field searching for whatever it was. If it weren't so dark. As if the storm had heard my wishes, lightning broke threw the thunderheads splitting the sky into a dazzling display. Light overtakes the darkness, almost as if daylight is fighting to enter the night. The field is empty, nothing but the humming grass. I look further, where the feeling is emanating from. Something is in the tree line but the lowers are still wrapped in a dark blanket of shadow, or is my mind playing tricks. I keep searching, trying to see what's there with each lightning strike. There's something just beyond my eye's reach. It pulls me further as if I had no control over my own actions. Every fiber of my body wants whatever is there in the shadows embrace. It feels like......Like home. The answer comes as though someone else had said it, but inside my own head. I let myself be pulled forward, my body responding to this mysterious force. My feet begin to move, just barely leaving the grass, about to take a step forward. From behind me came a faint cry. The storm must have woke Leo. I let out a sigh as I will myself to turn back to him. He needs me. Although I want the rain and to search out that feeling, he is more important. They both are, and always will be. I feel my shoulders sink slightly and a pain in my heart throbs a bit as if it to wants to stay in the eye of the storm but knows that the babies hold far more pull and sway on my heart then anything else could. I took another another deep breath of the storm and I retreat back toward the house, promising to return to the storm later. Faintly it smells different, the breeze that engulfed me. Earthy and musky, different then the clean smell of the rain and storm. It consumes me for a moment, even as I focused on the kids, stripping my wet clothes to the floor to cuddle Leo. Sleep eventually returns to my tiered soul, but this time it was filled with that scent and the dark shadow engulfed tree line with the lightning dancing across the sky. A far cry from the nightmares that previously harassed my mind with bad memories. The next day was filled with more of the same. My every action slightly distracted by the memory and feeling of the night before. It's such a nagging distraction that I even managed to get stepped on and slammed against the fence while working one of my regular horses. Somehow I am going to have to get this sorted and out of my head. Or at least delt with. I glare to myself internally, irritated with the non stop distraction.