Victoria’s Secret

Chapter 17

Helena suddenly asks Valerie for a holiday. She wants to go back to Mexico for a month just to forget everything. Valerie is wondering why it’s so sudden. She told her she misses her parents and it’s been a while that she hasn't gone home. She has no idea what is going on between her and Her sister. After settling things at work, Helena flew to Mexico the next morning. She hopes that after this holiday, she will forget and move on.

Victoria has no idea that Helena is already gone to Mexico. She will not call or text her so the two of them can move on. Time passed by so fast. It’s been two weeks since Helena was gone.

Victoria is having a hard time. She misses her. She wanted to call her to ask if she’s okay but she didn't. It’s a torture for her but she needs to endure it. She chose it anyway. But forgetting is the hardest. No matter what she does, she thinks of Helena. Everytime she sees wine bottles, she thinks of her. Everytime she wants to talk to someone, she thinks of her. Because of those thoughts, her mind became so full of it. She became miserable inside. Her feeling of selflessness and the feeling of sadness overwhelmed her.

It seems like she has her own world. Even to Cedrick. He is wondering why she became so cold. Not like the Victoria she knew. It started when she met a friend of hers. Her mind is occupied by things he doesn’t know about.

“Honey, are you okay? It feels unfamiliar.” He told her while they were having dinner. She’s not chatty, which is why he decided to ask what it is.

“Yeah! Yeah. I’m just tired from work.” She lied. Nit in the world will she tell him what is really going on.

“How’s the friend you met last time?” He asks again to take more information.

“She’s fine I guess. Why?”

“It seems like you have a problem after meeting her orIi just assume?”

Victoria stops. In her mind, she asks herself why he is saying that. As if he knows something.

“No. Don’t worry, Hon I am fine.” She continued eating to prevent more questions.

But Cedrick is not convinced. There is something that is bothering her. He started to observe her if she was going to talk to someone even at night. He also sees her drinking wine in the middle of the night. He thinks that maybe she cannot sleep. Victoria drinks wine to get tipsy and can sleep right away. If not, her mind will be somewhere else.

One evening, her sister Valerie called.

“Hey sis! Long time no see! Do you have time tomorrow for lunch?” Val asks her sister. It’s been awhile since she last saw her.

“I’m not sure, Val. I will let you know tomorrow, okay?”

“Busy or you just don’t want to come here because Helena is not here?”

Victoria is shocked. “What do you mean?”

“Didn’t you know? She went back to Mexico a few weeks ago.”

“Oh! I don’t.” She replied shortly. “Until when will she stay there? When is she coming back?”

“I am not sure. She called me yesterday saying that she might not come back soon.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know for sure. She only told me that.”

“Okay I understand. Val, I have to go. I will let you know tomorrow if I can.”

After the call was dropped, she wanted to cry. She cannot accept the fact that she cannot see her anytime soon. Missing her is really hard. She is now certain with her feelings. She loves her that’s for sure but she keeps on denying it to herself. It’s already obvious but she tries not to accept. But The more she runs away with it, the more it tortures her.

*********

After a month. She thought she could move on. She tried her best. But the more she tries, the more ahe sets aside her marriage. Time with Cedrick became less because she worked more in the office. If Cedrick before has no time for her, it’s the other way around now. Most of the time, Cedrick comes home but she’s not. She is buried in the office with paperworks and with her thoughts. She became so lazy that even eating is not a priority. She lost some pounds. You see sadness in her eyes and the pale look on her face.

Cedrick became worried. He doesn’t know what to do to her. Sometimes she suspects that she’s pregnant but it’s been a month since she became like that. She will tell him if that’s the case. Or maybe she is seeing someone else? That thought made Cedrick even worried. But no, she will never do that. But to make sure, he called a private detective.

“Hello, Mr. Moon. I want you to see what she’s doing everyday. Who she’s meeting.” He told the detective while he was handing him the photo of Victoria.

“Is this your wife, Sir?” He asked.

“Yes. But please, whatever you see or hear, it must stay between us.” He wants privacy for it. He knows that Mr. Moon can be trusted. He’s been working for him for the past years.

“Okay. Noted. I will give you an update everyday.”

After the detective left, Cedrick feels his conscience kicking. He doesn’t have to do this to his wife. Helove her more than anyone. He accepted her flaws, her shortcomings and everything. He is hoping that all his suspicions are not real.

It’s been a week. The detective didn’t see anything or witnessed any ugly doings of Victoria. She only goes to work and home again. Sometimes she goes out and meets her sister or has a meeting with the business partners. Nothing else. Sometimes, he thinks that she’s a perfect person and wife. Cedrick became even more complacent and confident that Victoria is not doing something that destroys that trust.

On the other hand, Victoria decided to seek emotional help from her mother. She has to deal with her sadness by talking to someone who might not understand her but someone who can listen to her. She knows that her Mom is the best person for it. When she arrives at the restaurant, her mother is already waiting for her. Talking to her mother might create another disaster or it might lessen her burden. Falling in love with Helena is unexpected and she didn’t expect it to be this way. Her love grew more everyday and that is the problem.

“Victoria! Oh my God! What happened to you?” Her mother was shocked when she saw her. She lose weight and she looks tired as f**k. It seems like she has been sick for the past few weeks. She hasn't seen her daughter lately, which is why she sees the difference. “Have you been well? Is Cedrick treating you right?” She got up to examine her. She got worried for her.

“Yes, Mom, I am fine. Thank you for coming.” She gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Her mother held her by her shoulder and took a deep glance at her. “Is there any problem? You look awful. Seriously now, tell me what is wrong.” She felt sorry for her daughter.

Victoria hugged her Mom and started to cry. “Mom!” She murmured and cried on her shoulder. This is the first time she cried onto someone’s shoulder after being left by Helena. Her mother knows her as a strong woman but now, she’s like a small girl. She got even more worried for her daughter.

After she feels better, she’s ready to spill the beans. This might change how her mother treats her but she’s ready.

“I know you trust me and you have so many expectations from me. I am sorry for being a disappointment for our family and for being so weak.” She tried to ask forgiveness first. She doesn’t know if she can tell her that again after that is why she started it that way.

“Victoria, you know I love you. Me and your father have been so hard on you but we love you, you are our daughter.” Her mother sympathizes with her feelings too. They have been so hard on her ever since she’s a child. They want her to be excellent at what she does and they want her to be a strong woman. Victoria doesn’t know but her mother has a soft heart on her. She doesn’t want to feel it, to harden her.

Victoria wants to cry because of that. Ever since she’s a little kid, she thought they didn't love her. She thought they don’t kike her as their daughter that is why she grew up being scared and afriad of disappointments.

“I Am having trouble with my feelings.” She confesses to her mother. “I have fallen deeply in love with a woman.” She continued. She bowed her head, feeling ashamed of it.

“What? What are you talking about?” In great shock, her mother slightly raised her voice but lowered it down immediately. “Are you sick? Does your husband know about this?” She asks continuously.

“No. And I have no intention of telling him. I don’t know what to do. I am so miserable. I keep on missing her and it hurts me so much.” She started to cry again but her mother stopped her.

“Don’t cry!” She told her autoritatibly to shut her. She immediately wiped her tears down and tried to compose herself. “No one must know about this. You will make your father furious if he knew about it.”

“But this is who I am, Mom. That is why I don’t want to get married before because this is how I am. And this is not the first time i fell in love with the same sex.” Another confession is out.

“Whaaaat??!” Her mother’s voice went up again. “Victoria!” She is trying to control her anger but for the second confession, she can’t do it anymore. “Are you out of your mind? Have you been thinking? If Cedrick knew about this, you might get in trouble, not only you but the company!”

Victoria sighed. Until now, the important thing for her mother is the company, as always.

But little do they know, someone has been listening to their conversation.