Fulfiller Of His Needs

Chapter 4: I Was Terrified

“You owe me a lot and I think this is the perfect time for you to repay.” He said then harshly pulled me inside the taxi he called.

“Get off my hand!” I was trying to get away from him but he’s too strong to grabbed me here. I’m starting to feel scared towards him again. I’m staring at him not looking back at me, is he serious? What is he thinking? I feel my body trembling and cold.

“Sir Mam, is everything okay?” The driver asked. I bowed my head, not looking at them all I can feel is I’m just afraid of him.

“Yes we’re fine.” He casually said. I can feel his gaze towards me. But I don’t have any guts to lift my head up. My eyes starting to become blurry. Myghad my tears fell. I feel weak at this moment. “s**t!” I heard him cuss and let go of my hand. “Stop the car.” I quickly lifted my head to look at him. The driver’s look bewildered in what’s really happening between the two of us. He just scratched his head. Ryan, gave him a 1,000 bill. “Keep the change.” He said and get off the car, I’m still here inside, I don’t have any strength at all to get off, I’m still trembling when he open the door for me, he avoided my glance and pulled me out of the car, then the car went away.

We are in the middle of nowhere. It’s dark over here and I think no one is passing through in this street at this time, its really quiet here only you’ll hear the noise of crickets. We are standing here. I see him in distraught, scrubbing his head.

“s**t!” I heard him cuss again, that made my tears fell all over again.

“Let me go home.” I said begging him. He took a glance at me then suddenly pinned me in the wall of a bakeshop here then kissed me. I was surprise in what he did, he kiss me harshly, and it hurt so much. I feel his hand roaming my body trying to lift up my dress, I wanna push him away but I’m afraid to do so. He’s caressing my hips up to my chest then harshly caressing my boobs, my emotions get terrified. He still doing it, I beat him up trying to get away from him but he’s too strong he lifted my two hands leaning the wall to kiss my neck down to my chest. I’m slowly breaking until all my strength has gone, I let him, I was sobbing when he stopped and slowly looking back at me. I bowed for a moment and letting out my sob. He breath heavily and slowly letting go of me.

“Sorry..” He said not looking at me, he look so mess. I gathered all my strength to stood up for myself and slap him so hard. He was surprise but he just bowed his head. He was trembling but I don’t care. I walk away from him and called a grab so I can go home.

**

When I got home, I still feel the pain inside my chest I was really upset. How can he do this to me? I tried not to think of it again, but I still see it clearly in my head. I wipe my tears, knowing someone harassed me it really hurts. Do I deserve any of it? Do I deserve life has throwing in me. I went to my mother’s room to look at her in a moment. She still sleeping. I have many questions in my mind. I close my eyes and close my mother’s room then went to the bathroom to take a shower. I poured out all my dissatisfaction over it. I was crying over and over trying to scrub my whole body to erase everything he did.

--

I woke up because of the sunshine touching my face from my window. My geez my head is spinning I get up quickly because of the time. My Mom need to eat her breakfast, while scrubbing my eyes. I don’t want my mother notice that I cried to so I fixed myself first. I look at the mirror, seeing myself like this makes me upset. I have a lot of problems in my life, I’m thankful because I can still make it. I still manage to smile, it made me strong, I am trying to be strong. But this time can I ask a break? I’m only a human, only this time could I let myself to breakdown? I’m tired hiding all the sadness that breaks my heart. My Mom I know she’s still blaming herself because of what happened years ago, because of waiting for my father she blamed everything to me. He left us because of me, I did not do anything, I want a father, I’m jealous also when I see a complete family. I want a father who will be proud of me and watching me while growing up. My Mom and I had a fight before when I was a kid that almost killed me. I was almost hit by a car when someone help me. But then, I was distracted from my thoughts when I heard something dropped inside my mother’s room. So I quickly went in her room, seeing my mother in surprise.

“Mom!” I said coming close to her. I sit beside her, she’s trying to lean in the headboard of her bed. “What happened? Are you okay?” I asked. She look at me trying to smile but I saw the sadness in her eyes. I feel bad seeing my mom like this.

“I’m okay Phia, I just had a bad dream.” She answered. “Don’t worry about me okay?” She added and caress my face. I hugged my mom very tight. I want to cry everything to her, I want to explode just in a sec, I think I could not handle it any

more, I feel sorry for being weak. “You can tell me if something is bothering you.” My mom added, I just hug her more tight, I know I’m trembling he caress my back to calm me down. “Phia, I hope you’ll forgive your father.” I slowly looking back at my mom when she suddenly say it out of nowhere.

“Mom?”

“He left us because of me, It’s my fault. I’m also asking for your forgiveness because of me you almost die.” I am dumbfounded. She smiled at me but I know she don’t feel well.

“Mom, It’s been 10 years, let’s not talk about it anymore. They are all in the past. Today Is the important, and I never got mad at you.” I said.

After that dramatic conversation we had. We get up so I could prepare our breakfast. I check my Mom’s med, I sighed when she’s running out of med, she’ll need it. My mom has already maintenance. After we had our breakfast I hide all my worries. My salary isn’t enough to make living. I took a deep sigh and called my best friend Zhai.

“Hello”

“Hey Phia, what’s up?” Zhai answered the phone. “Miss me already?” He cracked a joke that made me laugh a little.

“Hmm. Zhai, I have to ask you something.”

“Is there a problem? You can tell me.” His voice change into serious tone. I know him very well, he can throw a jokes, he can make you laugh but every time I am bothered, he’s the one who’s really worried about me.

“But promise me one thing, you wont get mad.” I want to make sure he will let me.

“I promise.” He said quickly, I’m hoping he’s saying the truth. Knowing Zhai.

“I need another part time job.” Even I don’t see him I can see a picture of him frowning. “I can handle it, I’ll give you my class schedule so we can talk about and fix my duty.” I added when I heard him sigh in another line.

“I know how you want to save money for your mom and to finish this college. But I wont let you kill yourself.” He said. I don’t know what to say because if he doesn’t want, he’ll make a way and I don’t want him to do that.

“Zhai, you know me well, and the truth is, I’m ashamed to you to Rina and Nikka. You always helping me out to all my problems, and its too much. I was thinking also If I stop for the mean time so I can provide my mothers necessities.” I said.

“No! You wouldn’t do that!” He abruptly said. “Phia, I will increase your salary to the hotel and I will lend you a money for your tuition this year.” I was about to say anything when he cut me off. “Don’t refuse my offer because I wont accept it. If you are thinking that it was a gift, of course not. You will repay me when you’ve got a nice job after finishing your college. Okay?”

“Zhai.” I whispered.

“You don’t need to say anything. You already accepted my offer.” He added without letting me to defend myself.

I let my teardrops. “T-thank you.” I just said in overwhelmed.

**

I have a duty today so I’ve decided to change my uniform before I go to Zhai’s office. While heading my locker I saw him talking to someone. He’s facing in here, not noticing me. So I prefer to change first then before I go to him. I used to humming while I’m alone, releasing the negativities in my body.

After I changed. “Phia!” I saw Zhai waving at me. He’s still there with the other guy. Maybe his friend in their business society. I walk towards to them. He come close to me to hug and kiss me then face me to this guy who turned around to face us. I was surprise even him, my eyes widely open when I saw him standing in front of me, I felt my mouth lightly open. What is he doing here? How they know each other?

“Ryan, this is Phia my closest friend.” Zhai introduced me to him. “And Phia this is Ryan, my highschool friend before I transferred in your school.” He explained.

I cant open my mouth, I don’t have the strength to talk, I avoided his gaze and look to the other side.

“Ryan..” He handed to shake hands but I refused it. I don’t want Zhai to notice the tension between us. He’s acting very strange, it seemed he doesn’t care anymore of what happened. He disrespect and almost raped me.

Phia.” I was surprised when Zhai called my name, looking at me with his questionable look and to Ryan that wants to shakehands with me. I look back to Ryan with my serious glare I want him to feel the hatred I feel inside, I hate him so much. I cant forget the horrible thing he did to me, its already on my mind. 

“Phia.” I said not accepting his shakehands.