Ceaseless Agony

“I hear you like I hear the rain pouring loudly, I feel you like the coldness in me. I have sensed your anger like the one raging inside me. The weather seems to know about the pain that I’m going through. Like this angry weather, my heart wishes to wipe them all, everything was cruel. Everyone was blind and in other life….. I shall see you again….. this time, we’ll make it through, we will defeat the sword of time.” I was stuck with this paragraph for almost an hour. I couldn’t help but wonder how writers wrote tragic stories? Why on the earth do they love killing characters and making the main character suffer in pain? I closed the book and felt the vibration of my phone in my pocket. I saw my Mom’s name on the screen. I was hesitating to answer it, but managed to hit the answer button. “Lunox, what time should I pick you up?” she said from the other side of the phone. I honestly don’t like it when she picks me up, not because I’m a rebel teenager who litters around and goes home just in time for bed time. I just want to have space. Ever since that thing happened to my sister I feel like I have been chained. I can’t even hang out with my friends. “I’ll walk home mom, thanks” I said. “We’ve talked about this, you can’t walk home alone anymore. The surroundings are very dangerous… I’ll be there at 3pm” she said, ending the call immediately before it turned into a phone argument. I put my phone back in my pocket, then made my way out of the library as I was walking in the hallway filled with noisy students. The rain began to pour heavily. People were running in different directions to find a place that could cover them from the pouring rain. The surroundings were dark and the lightning struck swiftly but it lit the whole school, then everyone screamed as the thunder roared loudly, leaving you frozen. Everything then moved slowly, the rushing rain drops were now soft as feathers, the crowd running began to move slowly. I was puzzled by this scene. What was happening? “Fleur…” I hear a soft yet close voice, it feels like its whispering. I looked behind me and saw a strange man standing a mile away from me. He’s tall. He looked like he hadn’t slept for weeks, his eyes were tired, his black jet hair was wet as if he ran while the rain was pouring, were creamed-colored long sleeves, dirty and wet, his black pants were also soaking wet. He stood there barefooted. The strangest thing is that he is looking at me as if we knew each other. “Fleur my love…. Please spare me a moment of your time..” When I gazed at his hazelnut eyes, my heart felt like it was crashed into pieces. I can feel the heat on the side of my eyes. My tears are now ready to fall; why do I feel like this? The guy began to take a step towards me, I can hear his heavy breathing and my heart pounding, as he. As closer and closer, I can feel my knees shaking not because I’m afraid, but because of the feeling of seeing something you thought you’d never see again. The lightning struck again. I took a step back because it struck near to where I’m standing, when I gazed to the guy’s directions, he was gone. No trace of him.. Then it happened, I found myself running away from the crowd, finding a secluded room and the next thing I knew was that I was in the comfort room crying my heart out. The thought of it kept me zooming out. After mom called me that she was outside waiting for me, I calmed myself and walked down like nothing had happened. I still don’t know what happened. Was it just my imagination? Was it the result of all the books I’ve read? But it felt real. His voice, his face—he is familiar, I feel like I’ve seen him before. I just can’t remember where and when. The name he called Fleur. It’s very familiar, but why would he call me that? He was just mistaken maybe, but why did my senses react when I heard his voice? “Are you even listening to me?” Mom’s voice pulled me back to reality. I looked at her like I have no idea what she’s talking—well I really don’t have. “I said, What do you want for your birthday?”. Yeah, I almost forgot that one. My birthday’s coming next week. I’m turning 19 yey? I’m not really happy since this is the first time I’ll celebrate my birthday without my best friend, my sister. “Nothing mom, I don’t want anything”, I replied softly “Look, I know it’s hard, it is hard for me too, but we need to keep on going. We can’t just stop reading a book just because one chapter is bad, can we?” Yeah she’s right, but how can I continue writing when my co-author has left me? The story might continue but it will never be the same as what we planned it would be. Something will always be missing and it can never be filled again. Never. I locked myself in my room, I don’t have the energy to speak neither to even see someone right now. I’m still puzzled by what happened earlier and now, the though of the person I only have made it heavier. It’s easy for them to say “keep going” because they weren’t there when we escape through the window and walked for an hour just to feel the coldness of the night. She used to say it make her feel something when she feels nothing, if I could do it again with her I would give every penny I have. There will always be moments that only the both of us knew.