Spilling My Tea On Myself

I'm currently sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and some chocolate chip cookie bites looking back at my life decisions. A memory pops up, 15 year old me. I was a shy, awkward introvert who just took notice of the school bully pushing down a nerd and the only thing I could think of is, "Oh, he's cute!" Right then and there, I became a girl on a mission. How am I gonna get with the school bully? Well, let's just say, it wasn't hard. All it took was a quick conversation during second period, with a girl I just friended three weeks ago. Oh, here comes the hype master! She convinced me that I was a hottie and should definitely go for it, and to top it off, what sold me right there and then, she shared three other classes with him and can pass the letter during seventh period. I ended up writing a letter to him that probably went like… Hey Corey, I’m Tasha. I’m friends with Amanda and she said you were a pretty cool guy. I thought you were cute and I was wondering if I could get your number? We can hang out too. I’m also in your PE class. Oh! And your 3rd period class is across from mine. Xoxo Tasha I couldn’t hold in my emotions, I was anxious! Here comes the wheels spinning in my head. The next time I’ll see Amanda would be the next day. I couldn't wait that long, so I called her. No answer. I have always been an anxious person. What if he rejects me? What if I’m not his type? What if I'm not pretty enough for him? The wheels just kept spinning in my head with all the what if’s. The next day couldn’t have come faster.