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Dear Lucille,
Well, I’ve changed my mind. I know that’s something you don’t expect men to do all that much. I didn’t tell you about it, but my partner and I were involved in an incident. It happens all the time – you have to deal with a violent situation, and then they second-guess you forever afterward. I don’t know anyone who has been on the force any length of time who hasn’t been put on desk duty a few times while they make sure it was a righteous thing.
Even when they tell you you’re okay and you can go back to the beat, you won’t be sure yourself. You did what was necessary, you thought, but you play it in your mind over and over. You have upsetting dreams. You wake in the middle of the night.
In this case, they put me on desk duty all through this trial. They called it an inq
