Hello, Kenzo

Letting Go

Cars were busy passing back and forth in the rainy streets, honking wildly even in the late hours of the night.

Street lights flickered due to the heaviness of the downpour, or was it just my blurry eyesight after almost three hours of punishing myself by bawling and spewing in distress?

"Oh god, I think I am dying!" I was exasperated as I sank myself on the bench outside my room. Vri was tightly asleep, and I couldn't just wake her up to get a hug. I burrowed my face in my arms on top of my curled-up knees. I didn't know what to do. I'm losing all my options.

I had been drowning myself in work for weeks, but still, I couldn't just wipe away the fact that I had been carrying a child inside my tummy all along. "I'm sorry, baby," I whispered while I stared down intently at my tummy.

After what happened with Dein, I felt sicker each day whenever I remembered falling in love with such a horrible person.

My hands trembled as I reached for my phone in my pocket.

"I...I am...going to let you go, baby," I barely said as tears started welling in my eyes again. "But mommy... loves you so much..." I gasped in pain as my heart tore inside.

[Are you sure now? If yes, here is the list of prescriptions. Take care! - Doc Ren]

I read the message from my doctor friend.

I know it was against their law but I had to.

"AAAAHHH! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO UNFAIR? I ONLY WANT A FAMILY!" I wailed in dismay as I looked up while the dark skies roared with thunder and lightning.

I stood up from the bench, weakly walked to the middle of the balcony, and let myself get drenched under the rain.

"I only...wanted...a...family! Was it that hard? I only wanted... love!" I cried helplessly, still hoping that I could have another option.

"Ahhhhh!"

I was about to throw my phone away when it started vibrating.

[Kenzo calling...]

"Hello," I answered the call, trying to hold back my tears.

"Finally, what is happening? You have been ignoring me for weeks. Have I done..."

"Nothing. You have done nothing wrong. It's just..." I took a deep breath before continuing. "Dein and I are fixing our relationship."

I almost choked, but I made it. I had to. It was for everyone's sake.

I'm sorry, Kenzo.

He fell silent.

"Let's talk! I want to see you." Kenzo sounded so serious.

I clasped my mouth with my left hand to stop myself from weeping.

If it weren't for my family's impossible acceptance of how outrageous they would see my relationship with Kenzo, I would have jumped into his arms at this very moment and shared the good news that he was going to be a daddy.

"Just...get over me," I mumbled.

"No. Let me see you!" he responded stubbornly.

"You are wasting your time and energy,"

"When it's about you, nothing is a waste,"

He's not helping in any way.

"I'm putting down the call,"

"Fine, I'll see you at your apartment's doorstep."

WHAT?!

That kid!

I hurried inside and got changed. I kissed Vri and leaped through the stairs to the cafe.

"Where are you going?" my father asked.

"Dad, I have to get back tonight. We have guests tomorrow, so I had to prepare," I reasoned to Dad, unable to look at him.

I'm too afraid he'd see my wary eyes.

"Ok, take care." He hugged and kissed me before caressing my back.

Oh gad!

I tightened my hug and immediately turned away. I could not risk showing my fragile moments.

"Bye Dad! Take care of Vri for me!" I waved while I strode away.

It took me two hours to reach my apartment due to the crummy weather.

After parking my car at the front, I jumped out of my car and looked everywhere for Kenzo.

But he was nowhere to be found.

I went back to my car and grabbed my phone.

I tried contacting him, but he was not picking up.

"F-ck! That sh-thead. What is he doing? Why isn't he answering my call?" I gritted my teeth in worry.

Traveling by motorcycle at this rate would be very dangerous.

The rain was getting even stronger. I am more than drenched, I am soaked with rain.

"Mam!" The bodyguard approached while holding out an umbrella.

"Mr. Guard!" My face lit up, realizing that I could ask him if there was this boy I usually bring here.

"Mam, why are you staying in the rain?" He sounded so concerned.

"I'm fine, Mr. Guard!" I almost choked with the rain flowing on my face. "But have you seen a boy...you know..."

"Mr. Kenzo?" the guard interrupted me.

"YES!" I almost jumped in joy.

"Well, he was here. He had been waiting for almost an hour and a half. Then he went away. "I invited him inside but he refused,"

"Oh! Thank you, Mr. Guard. Have you seen which way he went?"

"To the left, Mam!"

"THANK YOU!!!!" I hugged Mr. Guard and worriedly ran.

I might have an idea where he went.

I ran and paced in the flooded streets, hoping to see him.

After walking through alley sections, under the flickering red light of a sign, a boy sat with his head down on the wet bench.

I felt relieved.

I felt like I was breathing after weeks of being suffocated.

I marched towards him.

"YOU! How can you be so stu..."

I wasn't able to finish when he grabbed me by my waist and hugged me.

"Finally," he whispered lowly as he burrowed his face into my stomach.

"Let go!" I complained but felt so weak, I wanted to melt at his touch.

"Just...let me stay!" he weakly said.

"Go home! Your sister would probably be looking for you now."

"I told her I was having a sleepover."

I tried removing his hands, but he wouldn't let me.

"I told you, stop lying to your sister," I bitterly looked down at him.

"Then what? I'd lie to myself?" He said this and lifted his gaze at me.

I could see his eyes were full of sorrow and pain.

"Look, no one would be happy for us. You being so young, and me, having a kid... "

"I don't care!" He looked even more pained, as his eyes started tearing up and the corner of his lips quivered. "I only want you."

"Please," I tried holding every bit of my emotions as I bit my lower lip. "How many times should I say that no one would accept us? No one would be happy for us! I'm letting you go."

"I do not care! Please, let me stay. I am willing to have whatever time and love you can spare me. I don't care if I have to share a little amount of love with Dein. Just...just let me stay!" He pleaded and looked away from me, wiping his tears.

"I'm..." I gasped. "I'm...pregnant."