The Lycan shy mate-the silent cry for love

I think I don’t belong in this world. Everything and everyone is so perfect in their work that I feel like I don’t belong here. Its not like a fairy tale thinking or some teenage rebelling thinking but truly I feel like it all the time now. Before marriage I don't think this is my life it just felt like I am living someone else life but now after marriage it feels like hundred times worst. I feel like I am inferior here like I do not belong in this family in there life. My confidence my self-respect my dreams everything is taken away from me. It feels like I am not me anymore. I don’t I have anything that I can show as my possession. I just feel like I am in a wrong place at a wrong time. But sometimes I feel pity for myself as it is my life now and it can never change now.   Marrying Aditya was my decision. He is my shot of first love. Growing up I had a lot of crushes and involvement with opposite s*x but never ever as close as Aditya. With him I kind of felt safe. With him I forgot all my problems all my depressing thought. I just knew he was perfect for me. My marriage with Aditya is a arrange marriage but I got some one month time to know him over phone. I could easily communicate with him and share even my darkest emotions. So yes marrying him was my decision.   Before marriage I was Riyana Chatteerji, daughter of Ashkash Chatteerji and Mohini chatteerji. Being the only daughter of my family I was showered with lots of love and freedom. I was always my own person but still it felt like someone or rather something is missing from my life. That I used to think until some great mystery happen in my life and I was shaken to my core. That one incident changed me forever. It made me a dull uninteresting and coward person. My outspoken my dreams all are taken from me. And after marriage I was Riyana Boss wife of Aditya Boss but that is my official identity my real identity is daughter in law of Anita Boss.  ‘Riya, betta, are you okay betta?’ asked my mother-in-law. “Yeah” I said while sipping tea and forgetting my inner turmoils once again. Currently I am sitting with fifteen ladies all are home maker and are now in official mood of hunter or rather in destructive mood. These kitty parties are less social ways and are more in ways to show off their jealousies and loyalty to one another. Here you can be ones puppet or one enemy. I personally call them hunter because they are good at destroying others peace and reputations. They can either create you or can destroy you without you even knowledge. ‘Is everything all right betta? You are looking a bit down today’ asked  one of the puppet of my mother in law. ‘Yes aunty. Everything is all right.’ I said without any emotions in my face. Actually I find this kind of parties irritating. How can one gossip this much about anyone not knowing her true self not knowing her emotions. ‘How is Aditya?’ ‘Is everything okay between you?’ ‘Yes aunty everything is just fine.’ ‘Good betta. Nowadays the new couples are always fighting and the new bride they are so shameless they can argue with anyone on any topic. They just do not have any morals.’ ‘Do you know about the Sharma bahu she is just so shameless she just call her husband by name. could you believe that.’ ‘Yeah’ ‘Yeah’ ‘Nowadays all are just so shameless. I do not know what there parents are doing. In our times………. After that I do not bother to hear anything. I just so fade up with all those nonsense I think any day I could choke on those gossip or my mind would just blow out.