SLUTRY DESIRES

I KNOW ITS YOU

Some time you just need to sit and make decisions for your your life ,no one but you knows yourself better.And  to make right choices you have to analyise you self first ..And in the process you come across the dark side of yours ...Many of us choose to hide our dark side and wear a mask of fakeness ,..why do we do??? Are we scared of ourselves or shameful for wanting what we need....

We live in a society where womens are judged every minute of there life and secound is a challenge for them ...But who judges them...Unfortuationally womens are the only ones who destroys other women ..we judge other for there work and actions which deep down we ourselfs have craved it but choose to burie it ....again fear of judgement....

But i decided to go oposite and chose the bold way ......Why shame if i had some fantasy i decided to fullfill it ...I decided to not fear the judgement,i ddecided to live a guild free life.....Hey people its me serena you know me and i am back with my story of my life.......So far you learned how i full filled my s****l desires .......something which everyone is bound to ...But now i am going to tell you my back story why i became and choose to live this life style ...Come lets hear my story........

*****************************************************************************************

SERENAS POV

After talking to irina , i felt really relaxed and sorted and finally i have decided to fce my biggest fear and decided to tell him everything..Standing outside MICHELES penthouse building .....fear ,anxiety and neverousness had coved me.....Finally i have come to a point where i made a decision that i am going to give up my casinova lifestyle and finally tell him....

As i enterd  the penthouse i heard the rock music playing ..and i knew that he loves to listen to rock music when he is in gym ..I kept my bag on the couch and went towards gym..As i entered the gym i saw doing pushups...aahh what a delicious view...His back was facing me and his front was facing the large window with magnificant views of new york city...

I went towards him and stand beside him ...Michelles attention immediately focused on me ..He stared me with his intense sexy looks and then went back to doing his pushups....''RUDE'', my subconsious spoke...

seriously no hello ,no hi,are you really gonna ignore me like this ..No response..Michele showed me the cold shoulder and got up and went near the table and turn off the music ,picked up the bottle of water and drank it....

''I AM SORRY'' i said him and hugged him from behind...''I know that i should have not ignored you like this and have talked to you but please baby understand my point i needed to decide what i want to do ,'' i started explaning myself to him ,he stayed still for few minutes and then turned around.....''so are you not going to say anything to me ''.

''SORRY'' wont do any good to me...SIX MONTHS ,SIX FREAKING MONTHS  SERENA ,you just disappeared for six months where where you ,how were you ,did something bad happned .I dont know how many more possible thoughts crossed my mind ,i was going mad thinking about you and you dont even dared to text....

You have no idea how i have passed these months .......I never judged you for your sexalcoholic lifestyle neve questioned you what you do on you months long foreigns tours and never cared aur asked how many mens you have f****d ,still i Love you like crazy in hope that someday you will be just all mine you will get over your addiction .

I never accepted anything in return just hoped and i am holding on this hope for past five year and i will be here at same point for you but i cant do it alone love, you have to show some involvement but no you just bailed on me and here i am going crazy like some highschool stupid teenager lover boy......

''I HAVE DECIDED TO GO TO A THEREPIST '', i said in between his scolding and he looked at me with shock spread all over his face...''Whatt''.He said .

Yes i have decided to go to a therepist .....i was in china to vist a doctor friend of mine ''female doctor''' i clarified to him immediately..and i was just discussing my problems with her and now she has referred me to a  therepeist in new york it will take atleast couple of year more for my redemption...I am taking my medicines regurarly and working out on daily basis ,meditating and taking my therepy classes for these months ..

I confessed to michele about all my doings of past months and he just looked at me blankely,with kinda increased my anxiety but he immediately hugged me and we were in that position for more that  ten minutes.........''you should have told me about this ,you know'' he said .

I know but i just wanted to to be sane and sober,and i wanted to be fresh and new serena for you coz i have realised one thing ,that what i want most in my life ,i have found my real purpose to live .and ''I KNOW ITS YOU '',yes Michele its you ...i need you the most in my life i want to become   that serena which you will be proud of not some s*x addict .......

'I Love You '.....He said and tightened the hug ..........

******************************************************************************************