Mended (Book 3 of the Broken Series)

I was there again, in the clutches of those two monsters. The gun pressed up against Kurtis’s chest. I hated him with everything I had for what he had done to me, but why was I continuing to see him when I was dreaming? Had I regretted what I had done? Why was this man who I was now free of still haunting me? My head rose from my pillow quickly leaving me panting, and sweating. My thoughts were still swirling from the dream, my eyes darting from left to right scanning my surroundings.             “Caroline?” A male voice asked confused. My eyes took a second to adjust to the light that was flicked on. “Yeah?” I said rubbing my eyes. Dean stood in front of me, “What are you doing laying on the floor?” He asked. I yawned and gave a quick stretch before hopping up, “What?” I asked still a bit groggy. He pointed to the pillow and blanket on the living room floor. “Why were you sleeping on the floor, why didn’t you stay in the bed with me?” He asked.             “I don’t know, I guess I must have gotten up in the middle of the night…” I trailed off shrugging.             “So you’re telling me you slept walked to the living room, made a bed, and then slept there?” He asked unsure of what I was saying.             “I suppose.” I said shrugging once more, walking towards the kitchen. He sighed as he followed me, “You know that’s not exactly normal right?”             “Well, I haven’t been exactly normal lately.” I said firmly. He looked down sheepishly, “I know…and I’m not trying to say that we can’t get you back to normal again, but I want to help. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”             “What if we can’t get me back to normal, Dean? Are you prepared for that?” I retorted. He looked taken by surprise by my quick turn around, “I don’t think that’s an option. I think you will be fine with some therapy, and maybe some pills…” He trailed off.             “So you think I will be normal with pills now?” I snapped.             “I don’t know!” He yelled. “It’s like you don’t want to be helped!” I shook my head, “How can you even say that! You don’t even know what I have been through, Dean!” I screamed.             “That’s because you don’t want to tell me!” He snapped back. “Maybe if you would let me in a little bit more, I would be able to understand all of this!” He growled as he pointed towards the pillow and blanket still on the floor.             “You will never be able to understand. You will never be able to know what I went through on my level.” I said trying to calm myself down as tears trickled down my cheeks. He stopped instantly once he saw the tears, “I’m sorry.” He said instantly. I walked to the kitchen and started to make myself something to eat, completely ignoring him, and his presence. He had no clue what I had gone through, or what I had seen. He doesn’t know anything, but he can judge me based on the small things I was doing. Is this what our relationship was going to be like from now on? How could I be with someone who was going to criticize anything I did to cope.   An hour passed, and I had already scarfed down my food as fast as humanly possible. Dean emerged from the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen. He glanced over at me sitting on the couch.             “I’m heading to work, are you going to be okay on your own for a little?” He asked sincerely. “Your mom should be back soon with groceries.” He added. I waited a second before nodding. I didn’t want to talk to him, but I needed to know something. I watched as he grabbed the door handle, and knew it was my chance to say something before he left. “Did you mean it?” He turned slowly, “Mean what?” He asked confused.             “When you said that we would take all of this one day at a time. That you would be there for me, and we would live our lives together, one day at a time.” I replied. He nodded, “Of course I did.” He made a small sigh before walking over to the couch and sitting down beside me. “I know I was hard on you earlier, and I don’t want you to feel like you aren’t normal, or that I am judging you.” He explained, “I just…” he paused, “I’m not used to seeing you like this. I want what’s best for you.” He finished as he kissed my forehead. I nodded, “I’m sorry for yelling. I know it doesn’t look like I appreciate you, but I do. It’s just been a lot to deal with.” I paused, “I guess it’s been so long since I have been in an actual comfortable bed without worrying about my life…that I just slept on the floor. The same way I eat my meals as fast as possible.” I paused, “It’s because my brain tells me I’m not going to get another meal for a while, even though I will.” I looked down, as I wrapped my arms around my legs. “It’s going to be a while before I realize I’m not in that cabin anymore.”             “I understand that.” He said as he glanced at his watch, “Oh shoot. I really have to go, but know that I love you, and we will talk more about this when I get home.” He said kissing my forehead once again before rising from the couch. “Do you want me to call your mom and see where she is with the groceries?” He asked softly. I shook my head, “It’s okay, I’m sure she will be back anytime.” I replied. He nodded, “Okay. I will see you later.” I watched him leave through the door and wrapped my arms around myself tighter. I was alone again. No one to stop me from falling off the deep end into my thoughts. I stared out of a window from the living room, I wasn’t there anymore. There was no more cabin. But Calvin…he was still out there. He was still looking for me, especially after I almost killed him. He would find me; I know he would.             “Of course I would find you.” A voice I recognized instantly said. My eyes immediately bulged, and I frantically looked around for him. Where was he? Where did he go? He found me!             “You can’t be here.” I said aloud.             “Did you honestly think I would let you get away after what you did to me?” the voice said in an almost echo. My breathing quickened, “Where are you?! Where are you, you son of a b***h!” I screamed as I started to look frantically around the apartment. “You said you would kill me! You said I would never be safe! I had to do what I had to do!” I yelled.             “You tried to set me on fire. You will pay for what you did, I will see to that.” His voice echoed again.             “I’ll never be safe.” I said as my breath quickened more, and I was brought to my knees.             “That is right. You will never be safe.” My hands covered my face, and I began to cry violently. Two hands came down on my shoulders, and I instantly screamed.             “Caroline!!”             “Get away from me! Get away!” I screamed as loud as I could.             “Caroline! Caroline stop, it’s your mother!!” She yelled trying to calm me down. “Look at me, sweetheart!” She said softly. My breathing slowed a little as I removed my hands to find my mother’s face looking at me concerned. “Mom?” I asked. She nodded, “What happened?” She asked as she looked around the apartment. “The curtains are ripped, there is an upturned chair…” She paused, “I came in and you were yelling at someone who wasn’t there and screaming.” She said concerned.             “He was here mom. He was here!” I said frantically looking around again. She looked around the apartment quickly before turning back towards me, “Who? Who was here?” She asked. I wrapped my arms around my torso, “Calvin.” I said in a bare whisper. My mother’s face instantly paled, “What?!” She gasped as she looked around. “Where? Where was he, baby?” She asked trying to scan me for any type of cuts. “Did he hurt you? Did he leave?” She asked. I looked around, “I don’t know…I couldn’t see him. I could only hear him.” She stopped and stooped to my level, “I only saw you talking to yourself honey, I didn’t see anyone else here.” She said softly.             “Are you sure? Maybe he ran out.” I said trying to get up from the floor. She shook her head, “No. As soon as I walked in you were talking to yourself, and you seemed scared. Then suddenly you were screaming so I dropped the groceries and ran inside.” She explained. I wiped my eyes, “Maybe I imagined it…”             “I should call Dean.” She said as she turned to grab her phone. I immediately snatched her phone away from her, “No! If you call him, I will never hear the end of it. He will never leave me alone again.” I said quickly. She looked at me sincerely, “There is no shame in asking for help, Caroline.”             “I just don’t want to call him, okay?” I replied, wrapping a blanket around myself. She nodded. I watched her grab the groceries and start putting them away, “I thought I was going to go back to Telluride, but I think I better stay a bit longer. I don’t want to leave you alone in this state.” I shook my head, “No, you should go back to your house mom. Don’t you have houses to sell and stuff?” I asked.             “I don’t need to sell houses right now Caroline. You are my main priority.” She said with a small polite smile. “I was thinking about selling my house anyway.” My head snapped up shocked, “What? Why would you do that?”             “I was thinking about moving to Brooklyn to be closer to you. I know that Dean has a good job that he would not leave Brooklyn for, and you two are getting married so I thought I would make the move out here.” She explained.             “You would do that for me?” I asked teary-eyed.             “Of course, I would. Not to mention your father is no longer with us, and I would like to be close to you when you have my grandbabies.” She said with a bright smile at the word grandbabies. I grabbed myself a cup of hot chocolate before sitting at the table, “I don’t know about grandbabies mom.”             “Why wouldn’t I have any grandbabies? You two are still getting married right?” she asked confused. I shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s been hard lately. We haven’t been able to be a couple because Dean has been so afraid to touch me since my fragile state. I haven’t been coping well being back into safe hands because I had been abused for so long. I have seen too much to go back to normal.” I explained. “So right now, I don’t even know if we are getting married, let alone having babies.” I finished. She placed a hand on my arm, “You know your father and I had some pretty heavy fights in our days. We had even told each other we were going to call it quits on our relationship.” My eyes widened, “You never told me that.”             “That’s because most of them were before you were born, and only some of them you weren’t around for. But it happens with every couple. I’m sure you two will get through this just like Burt and I did.” I sighed, “I don’t know.” I said as I looked down, “I’m sure we will get through this, but right now everything is up in the air.”             “How have you been sleeping?” She asked as she started to make something for me to eat.             “I don’t know. I am sleepwalking during the night, but I don’t remember any of it.” I replied. She looked a bit shocked, “You should talk to someone honey, don’t waste time. You need therapy for everything you have gone through, not just a doctor’s appointment for the physical wounds. Mental health is important too.” She explained. I nodded, “And I will talk to someone, soon.”             “Caroline.” She started. I put my hand up to stop her, “Mom. I swear I will, but please don’t push me. I’m just not ready yet.” I stated. She nodded slightly, “Alright.” I watched my mother pack up her clothes and other belongings from the spare room into her suitcases. A part of me wanted her to stay because she was the one thing holding me from falling apart completely. But another part of me knew she had affairs to take care of at home, and she needed to travel back. She was the person who was talking sense into me and telling me things were going to get better, and it made me feel safe. Even though I hadn’t shared much about what happened to me in the cabin with her or Dean, I felt like I could talk to her and she wouldn’t judge me.             “What are you thinking about?” My mom asked as she was packing. I shrugged, “How much I am going to miss you.” I replied. She smiled, “I will miss you too.” She said as she zipped up the last of her bags. I helped her carry them to the door just as Dean was stepping into the apartment from work.             “Leaving already?” He asked as he entered.             “My flight is in four hours, I thought it was best to get to the airport early.” She smiled.             “Do you need a ride to the airport?” He asked as he was about to grab his coat. She shook her head, “No, it’s okay. I am going to get a cab so you can stay with Caroline.” She glanced at me and then towards Dean, “Dean can I talk to you for a minute?” She asked. He nodded, “Of course.” My suspicion was getting the best of me, what did she want to talk to him about without me there. I watched as they walked into the spare bedroom and closed the door to talk. I tiptoed to the door to listen in.             “What’s going on, Nancy?” Dean asked.             “I didn’t want to say anything in front of Caroline because she didn’t want me to tell you, but I think she is having a mental breakdown.” I couldn’t help but scoff and instantly covered my mouth to shut myself up. I closed my eyes hoping that they didn’t hear it.             “What do you mean mental breakdown? I mean she slept on the floor in the living room last night, which is weird but doesn’t seem like a mental breakdown.” He explained.             “I saw her talking to herself, and then started becoming paranoid and then scream. She said Calvin was in the apartment and coming after her. It didn’t make sense. I asked her if she saw him in the apartment, and she said no, she could only hear him.” It was silent for a moment before Dean answered, “So Calvin wasn’t in the apartment…” He trailed off confused.             “No. She was imagining it. I’m worried for her well-being.” She stated.             “Okay, I will look into it. You should probably get ready to go to the airport.” He said. I immediately back away from the door and sprinted across the apartment towards the couch and sat down before the door opened. The door to the spare room opened revealing both Dean and my mother. My mom smiled at Dean before heading towards the door and her bags.             “Everything alright?” I asked. My mother nodded, “Of course. It was just some important wedding stuff that I needed to talk to him about that you can’t know of.” She said with a small chuckle. “Alright well, I’m off to the airport. I will call you when I land, and I will try and see what I can do to sell my house to move here.” I nodded, “Thanks for being here mom.” I said with a smile.             “Of course, honey. See you soon.” She said as she opened the door. She glanced at Dean, “Bye.” We both waved goodbye and watched as she closed the door behind her. I slumped down on the couch, wrapping the blanket over the top of me. Dean looked down at me, “Anything you want to tell me about today?” He asked. I shrugged, “Nope. Just a normal day.” I replied. He sighed, “Caroline. You need to tell me what is going on.” He said as he sat down beside me. “We need to be able to talk to each other. Your mom told me what was going on with you today, and that is signs of psychosis.” I looked down, “I’m not psychotic.” I replied quickly.             “I’m not saying you’re a psycho care bear. I’m saying that you need help. I want you to get help, and I want to help you too. But I need you to talk to me.” He replied as he placed his hand on top of mine.             “I want you to be able to help me too. I want to be able to tell you things.”             “Then why don’t you?” He asked confused. My eyes became teary once again, “Because the things I went through, they are awful. They are hard to talk about, and I don’t know if you will look at me the same way once I tell you everything.”             “I want to know everything, Caroline. I can handle it.”             “Can you?” I asked unsurely. He had a temper whenever I told him about my past and what Kurtis had done to me. It always took him a while to calm down, but now that we were together when I was kidnapped and he was active on my missing person’s case, I wasn’t so sure that he could handle what I was going to tell him. He leaned in and kissed my forehead, “I can.” He assured me.             “Okay.” I replied as I prepared to tell him everything.