chapter 4
953 Words
Seeing that I quickly ended the conversation . . . . . . . . .
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I felt that blood was flowing from my eyes and heart . . . .
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It seems that the purpose of life is to be dissatisfied . . . . .
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Marriage is fixed . . . . . . .
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They had brought jewelry, clothes and a mobile phone for me . . . . . .
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I was worthy in front of my chosen one and his family ..I acted happy in front of everyone . . . . . .
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My mother looked at me warily as she handed me the jewelery box , clothes and phone .
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I tried many times to avoid him completely .. failed .. I lay in my failures and took a deep breath .
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Need to get out of that pit . but the darkness in that pit .. !! And then I was in love . crazy love . . !
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Not with the body , , ; with the mind , , , . .
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I sent a surprise gift for him on the 14th of February when the engagement was over .. in a heart-shaped red box with blood-colored roses and chocolates in a glass bottle . . . . . . I felt that all my love was inside that box . , it reached him the next day , by the time he got there , he said all the roses were withered . . . they were all indicators of something . .
At the same time, my fiance had hidden a gift in my room through my brother without my knowledge . . a picture of both of us together and some chocolates . . Huh ! ! What an irony ! ! !
I tore that picture to shreds .. I gave the chocolates to the children of the other house ,, I didn't want anything ..
Even after that day , I didn't try to use anything that the family of the betrothed gave me .. I didn't even dare to switch on the phone .
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After a couple of weeks , I had to meet a certain guy in town with a girl who told me to get a new SIM card ...
Me and my brother went with me . .
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my mother dressed me in the best clothes she had .. forced me to write my eyes .
" Do you have to get ready in front of someone other than this one ? "
That's right . . . I don't have to prepare for anyone but him . . . That's right ,
My fiance and I were sitting across a table in a restaurant . I couldn't even smile or look up ,,
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. 'Why does the rabbi introduce each one if it is not decided ? In front of me is the man who is going to be my husband .. I am the one who should be talking to them with such joy and satisfaction .Why did I allow such a draft to enter my mind? Is being dissatisfied really the essence of life ????'
He must have thought that my silence was my shame...He was talking non-stop . about them ... family...work .. and all that ..
I just shook my head thinking that I don't want to hear any of this ...
" Did you have an affair ?? "-the expected question .
I replied without thinking , " I was .."
Before I could think about saying everything on my mind , he said, "Oh , it doesn't matter , if you had told me that there was no affair , I would have thought that there was something wrong with you . " He laughed . . I also laughed slowly .
" Whatever , I just want to know one thing . . can I guarantee that I will be the only one in the next life ? " He extended his right hand towards me .. I slowly held his hands and said , " I promise . . . . . . . . . . ."
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Then I felt a small relief , , no problem , he is an understanding person . . open minded . . I smiled sincerely in that belief ..
" I also had an affair . . . it was serious . . . but her family wouldn't have joined my family . . . then dad didn't agree . . . then I didn't want it ... "
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Haha! I was angry inside that this great man is here for which girl who is more unworthy than me ..
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I said how easy it is.. I didn't want to . . ! ! !
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Then it was enough to see if the family would like it first and fall in love ? ? Even if you fall in love seriously . . hmm ... it's never love , , love doesn't look to match .. love is adding to each other..if a love fails , no one will have true meaning . .
Just like love .. it just goes for a while .. a game , if divided like that it never becomes love ... and love never fails . . . . . . .. . .. . . . .. . . . .. .. . .. . . .. . .. . . .. .. . .. .. .. . . . . . "
- Writer
