Facing Crossroads

XII - Storm and Sunshine

                                                               Theo

I felt the need to explain why I did what I did. Using my fist when angry wasn’t really something I would do but his words trigger me so much that hearing him insulted my mother made me want to just hurt him. Bad. One punch wasn’t enough.

Turning beside me, Shane watched me in silence, a crease on her forehead. I knew I shocked her, hitting her ex just like that.

I cleared out my throat, finding the nerve to tell her my history. My family. “My mom used to… entertain men. But that was before she had me.”

Her gaze prickled my neck. I refused to look at her so I focused my eyes on my little swollen knuckle.

“Rocky could be an ass, sometimes. He shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be. It’s him who should be saying that,” I muttered.

We went to the nearest club house from the school. It was like a public park and people used to go here to jog with their dogs. Fortunately, it was nearing mid-afternoon, and the place was close to empty.

“Four,” I heard her say after a while. “Four months since my father died.”

I glanced at Shay, her eyes lowered to the ground, sitting still on the bench. It didn’t take me long to realize that she was still hurting, sorrow weighed her down heavily.

“I just feel so angry,” she whispered. Though her eyes weren’t filled with tears now, they were still blotchy from crying. “So angry that the mere mention of my dad from their mouths is enough to drive me crazy.”

“I understand you’re still trying to cope up with your loss… But don’t you get tired?” I asked carefully, not wanting to push her anger even more.

She bit her lip, concealing her smile. “I am so tired.”

“Don’t you think it’s time now for healing?”

Shay stared at me, her eyes had unspoken questions. “Do you know who my father was?”

I took a deep breath. “I watch the news. But that won’t make me know him.”

She laughed. “Huh, you know you’re the only one who said that.” She hugged herself, tone subdued. “I mean, most people believed everything they saw on TV. If the news says this man is a saint, they worship him. If they say this man did something bad, they were too fast to judge him.”

“That’s why I only watch SBC news,” I said. News today was all crap. They would only show what people wanted to see, intentionally blinding them with the other truths and other reality happening at the other side of the world. “They aren’t bias.”

“I hate to admit it but what they say about my father is true,” Shay said in almost a whisper, eyes again focused on her feet, as if they were the most interesting thing at the moment. “He was the head of the family. You know, kinda like, the Mafia. He was the one who run things, decide what the family would do next. I didn’t know the details of what the real business was about because he kept me in the dark. I just know that they’re scary. Whenever he wanted someone to be taken care of, I would see in the news someone got murdered.”

Her words were like a broken dam, continuously flowing into my head. I absorbed it all. It must have been terrible for her.

She then glanced at me. “I know he’s a bad person in the eyes of many people. And he was, I wouldn’t deny that. But behind all the crimes the family did in his bidding, he did it all to protect us. It’s always wrong to hurt someone but- “ She sobbed, her voice breaking. “But I love him. He’s my father. He’s good to me and protected me with his life. He supported me and my dreams. He loved me! He pushed me to be a better person, you know.”

I closed our distance, my heartbeat getting erratic at her outburst. She covered her face with her hands, shoulders shaking. I envied her bravery to speak out her pain.

Her father tried to keep it all hidden in her eyes. I could tell the man really loved her despite the way of life he chose. Wrapping my arms around her to console her, I let her cry out her grief. “I know, Shay. I understand.”

I looked away as she turned to gaze at me. I had never said a word about my family, about my father, not because I was ashamed of it, but because nobody would understand.

But maybe she will. Shay will understand.

“No, Theo, you don’t understand.”

This time, I met her gaze, letting her know I wasn’t bluffing. “I know what it’s like.” Her eyes slowly narrowed, looking for the barest hint of lies. But she wouldn’t see it in my eyes. “You’re not the only one who got that kind of family.”

She just stared at me and I couldn’t read her reaction.

When she said nothing, I continued. “The Detallas, who are notorious in making money for assassinations, the Carvantos who exploit children and are involved in human trafficking, the Alfonsos, Javiers and Ruscos. There are a lot, Shay, and believe me, I know some of them.”

“Oh-my-“

“Don’t.” I winced, guessing what her next word would be. Sometimes, her chosen words made me cringe.

She pursed her lips, looking apologetic. She wiped the tears in her face, composing herself.

“You’re too pretty to curse like a man.” As soon as I said those words, I instantly regretted it. The last thing I wanted was to initiate something we weren’t ready for.

“Well, we all have a flaw,” she murmured. Her warm eyes stayed on me, watching me. “So, you really do know them Like know know them?”

“Some of them, yes,” I answered with a shrug.

Shay kept her gaze at me, as if waiting for more.

I looked around the club house, relieved we were left alone. Reaching for her hand, I drew a line on her palm. “Victoria is divided into two rivaling mob. Your family ruled this part of the town.” I tapped on the side of her palm, making her see the bigger picture. “Another family ruled the other side. But when all is said and done, they are the same. Same bunch of men who showered themselves with honor, pretending they contribute to the community and care for them, where in reality, they harm us, kill innocents, and ruin lives. And as part of the family, we were obliged to take the vow of silence.”

“How did you know all that?” Shay started to shake her head, eyes wide. “Please don’t tell me you’re a gangster, Theo. Just please don’t be a gangster.”

“And here I thought that girls like gangsters. Just like in the movies? Kinda like ‘falling into a mafia boss’ type of thing?”

She freed her hand from mine, crossing her arm over her chest. “But this is not a movie. And some girls have no idea what they are talking about.”

“Yes, it’s not,” I replied. Her face looked animated, making me smirked. “Well, we all have a flaw,” I said, echoing her words.

She stood up, creating a gap. “For real?!” She shook her head. “I mean, you’re part of a mob?”

“No, Shay,” I said, smiling at her. “Can’t you take a joke?”

For a short spun of time, Shane Javier gave a lot of facial expressions, making it easier for me to observe her every mood.

“It’s not something you joke about, Theo,” she replied, throwing me an enraged look.

Raising my hands in the air, I just chuckled. “Sorry.”

She shook her head again and rolled her eyes, retaking her seat beside me. We both fell silent, listening to the light growl of thunder above, as thick clouds started to conquer the sky. I could tell she wanted to know more. Her eyes held hundreds of questions but she never spoke them. Had she asked, I would have told.

I would have told her my story, my family’s history. I would have shared the part of me that I had never showed before because nobody would understand. And she would. I am sure.

Just now I had realized, Shay was a combination of storm and sunshine. Behind the calmness of her face, she hid well the chaos in her mind.