The Lover After Me

Disturbing? Delightful? Bothered? Astonishing? Regretful? Sorry? I didn’t know how to best describe for what I was feeling at this time, sitting in this fancy restaurant—me and my best friend Rebecca. I was in front of her, she was in front of me. A VERY UNUSUAL SIT FOR BOTH US. In this place where all such happy moments we spent together, my only best friend, the person I considered as my own sister. But, at this moment, I knew there was a huge difference from what we are now. It’s not the old typical her. Or the typical me. Or maybe, such things never existed right from the start. Who knows? But one thing is for sure, I knew for sure, that we can never go back to how we used to be before. I saw nothing but incredulously, fury in her eyes. Madness is all written on her beautiful face. The face once showered me with warm smiles, now nothing but hatred. Her hands were shaking, and she was definitely trembling. Looking at her was the only thing I could at least do right now. And only SILENCE was dominating for the both of us. A deafening stillness. Yes, I made it clear from the time I embraced her husband on my own accord; when I filled myself with his warmth and drowned myself in this delusional affection. I know this day will definitely happen— I always counted the times I thought the possible scenarios in my head. What should I feel? How should I react? There are plenty of times I picture myself in this. This perfect picturesque scene between us. I always looking forward for this to happen. Please resent me for the rest of your life You don't have to forgive me, coz I don't have plan to ask for forgiveness. You can hate me all the way you want. This is the reality that stands between us. I became the lover after you. •••  “Lays, you have to remember this. Don’t live like mom, okay? Don't ever live like me ” Eyes snap open, I heard the breezing sound of engine inside this plane. My eyes automatically search from the outside, as my whole vision covered nothing but the peaceful of the skies, my heart finally found calmness. A dream. The same dream for the woman who called my mother. Many years have passed yet I still dream about it, for a woman whom I never remember her face clearly, let alone the memories I have of her, keeps vanishing away. Yet, she keeps taunting me, as if she is constantly reminding me of what I am best in myself. How funny isn't it? It's too late. Too late mother. They say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. So was us. I am your daughter. I am clearly like you. As years passed by, I realized that truth, no matter how hard I tried, there is no way I could escaped this slapping reality. Regardless of how many times I choose the either way, I always ended like yours. This is the reality I should embraced because I am your daughter. A deep sigh escaped from my lips the moment I heard the signal of the airplane's take off. 5 years. It took me a long five years before I decided to come back here. "Don't ever come back...please" I swallowed hard trying my best to block this stabbing pain inside my chest. A bitter smiled automatically escape from my lips. This fragment of memories I kept trying to forget and hide in the deepest abyss of my mind turns into nightmares that kept haunting me. one... two...three don't go there... The image of glass cracking was vivid inside my mind. don't! don't ever try! As I closed my eyes trying to eliminate those images inside my head, I counted the times of my steady breathings. 'Lays you supposed to be not this, you done great' Like a broken incantation, I repeatedly consoled myself. The only consolation I have for the past five years was these. Whom I became and what I became. "Ladies & Gentlemen, now We're approaching our destination, where the local time is 09:00. At this stage you should be in your seat with your seatbelt firmly, fastened. Personal television screens, footrests and seat tables must be stowed away and all hand luggage stored either in the overhead lockers or under the seat in front. Please ensure all electronic devices including laptop computers and computer games are turned off. " 'Don't ever come back' I muttered bitterly as my gazed went back to the window. Yes, I promised not to ever come back here. But, promises are meant to be broken in the first place. I realized it too late; I shouldn't hold on for the promises made. The whooshing sound followed by slightly rumble and thump pulled me out on my trance. I slowly looked around as I saw some passenger readying themselves to go out of the plane. I'm back. Finally. I stepped out and a warm smiles coming from the crew welcomes me. The heat weather of summer didn't help it either. Luckily enough, I am wearing an appropriate dress in this kind of season. Slightly fixing my mini tube dress that was perfectly hugging my body. I slowly took off the coat I'm wearing inside the plane and fix my curly hair in one side of my face. It was Saturday, enough to give justice on how crowded the airport was. In every step of my feet, I can clearly see every each pair of eyes looking at me, some looks at me with gaping mouth, admiring me and others look at me with sinister eyes full of uncover lust while the others rolled their eyes in me. I can catch their attention in an instant. Can I blame them? I know how gorgeous I am, no one can resist this kind of beauty isn't it? "Hi miss" someone walks besides me, his friendly smiles tells with familiarity. But the hell I cared about him? I stared at him blankly. Not wanting to waste each seconds towards him, I walk fast as I could, yet it seems impossible towards him. He fasten his pace, smiled once again as if nothing happen. His gaze, I knew exactly what it meant. His familiar gaze I 've seen for the past years was not different from others. They looked at me with that. Lust, their unhidden desire as if they undressing me. Their unkept s****l delusion. They all the same. I smirked, stop from an instant as I decided to play his game. "I'm sorry but have we met?" I said seductively. One of the things I masterfully manage over the years. I watch him leans towards me, he smiled wickedly. "at the airplane Lavatory?" he whispered, his breathe fanning my side face was enough for me to puke. Right. I remember him now, the guy I bumped into inside the plane, the one I thought at least could ease my boredom. Unlucky enough, we were caught before things could be done exciting. As realization hits me, I saw a triumph smile on his face. "wanna finish what we started?" Well, not bad for killing time isn't it? "Are you sure you wanna do it here?" he spoke in urgency. I can feel his excitement as he keep caressing my bare chest. "what? afraid of being caught here?" I smirked seductively, I lean closer to him pressing my chest. He move as I move, we both went inside of this men's cubicle, I can hear the chattering outside, but I don't care. I can see the inevitable desires in his eyes. As we keep moving inside trying to get fit in a narrow space. "I didn't know you like such things like this" he smirked "well, it's add the excitement don't we?" as knelled down, I saw how his eyes burns into desire. I quickly unbuckle his belt and his erected p***s came into view. This always been like this, right? Men with their libido. They all the same. "Should we keep talking?" I asked, gently stroking his erected thing. I love how his face twitch in unbearable lust. 'Already?' I smirked, I'm still not doing anything yet, just simply touching and makes you this excited? "Can you? I know I am big and-- ugh" Moan escape from his stupid mouth the moment I suck him fully. Too bad, your thing is not that big, I've seen plenty of it yet it's not enough to amazed me. "f**k! your so good! Mmm.. keep ugh" beads of sweat were clearly visible on his forehead, his brows creased as he look so much enjoying this with hi mouth gaping and unfocused eyes. I kept sucking him, licking and swirling my tongue and one hand caressing his balls at the same time. Oh God! Look how stupid his face looks like . Should I pretend that I'm enjoying this too? I felt his hand grip tightly on my head, his hips move in urgency, I can feel it, base on twitching of his thing. Should I make this faster? "f**k! I'm going to-" squirt... Boring. I glared at him, not noticing my irritation since his eyes were close. damn this dumb ass. I hurriedly wipe my face full of his disgusting fluids, the smell of chlorine passed by in my nose. I stood up hoping to fix myself but he pulled me close to him. Eyes pure lust was evident. "should I pleasure you to?" He smirk, he started touching me in my glory. I looked up, letting him do his job, automatically, his hand stops from touching, he look at me as if he was confused and bewildered at the same time. This is the reaction that I was waiting for. I smirked enjoying his stupid flushed face. "How come your not wet?" Confusion was written all over his face. How come I am not? Sex is just a boring kill time for me, for years past, I never felt satisfied let alone get excited over this. This is just a fancy way to release my boredom. Yes, I slept with many men. I lost count of how many men I pretended to enjoy their company. I smiled triumphant as I pulled myself from my thoughts, I definitely enjoying this. This supposed to be like this always. Always. Look how stupid your face like! "I'm afraid your not good enough" I whisper to his ears. I smiled seeing how embarrassed he looks right now, making this an opportunity to fix myself. "You! You!" the guy seems perplexed his face beat red as humiliation for what he heard. I smiled once again as I gently push the door. "Ah! Before I forgot!" I turn around smiling innocently on him. "Your not that big." A sinister smirked crept on my face. "You b***h!" I walk passed by, I saw the shocked faces of men whom I passed, just like how ai used to be, I smiled sweetly ignoring their stares. Yeah, this is me. This is my habit, playing along with different guys despite their commitment they have. Bitching is my specialty. Leeching is my ally and pretending is what I am best with. And yeah, you can call me w***e the hell you want and I don't give a damn about that. And as much as I know, I play the part of hurting many people; wrecking their relationship is what I am best with. I even used them in my own needs. That is how my life, and I didn't regret nor feel sorry about this. I just born to be like this. and even Fate dictates me to be like this. "You shouldn't messed with my face. tsk" I hurriedly wipe my face, eliminating his traces on my face. My hand automatically stops as I saw my bare face. The ethereal beauty that admired and hated at the same time. My hazel cat eye-like eyes that everyone notices, my upturned nose, rosy cheeks and natural pinkish lips. Looking back, I always receives compliments from others. They say I was beyond beautiful, even from being simple, which I shrugs off since I never do believe nor interested in unessential praises. I never bothered to put anything in my face. I always look too plain and simple. I want it that way. I blink couple of times, panicky storm inside of my purse, hurriedly put my eyeliner in my lids, making me look too fierce on my liking, I started painting my face with heavy colors, red lipstick on my lips, I contoured more my cheeks elaborating my cheekbones. I look once again in my reflection, admiring how ai look different from before.This is better. This is supposed to be like me. This beauty is beyond compare, it's like a curse and a blessing at the same time. Now, thinking about it, if o only I just realized it sooner, the advantage of having this kind of beauty do things ran differently? I almost half away outside of the airport when I notice a familiar face outside, he was leaning on his car, he slightly wave his hand as he smile to me. His boyish grin I known for years. Brent Jacob Anderson, my steady boyfriend for almost two years. "tired?" He asks, gently pulling me in a slight hug, he looks to me with his dangerously round eyes. His warm blue eyes enough to captivate one's soul. His a total package, not to mention his reputation as a youngest surgeon, wealth and looks that is beyond compare, from his captivating blue eyes, narrowed nose, sculptured jawline and thin lips and body built; his gentle and warm personality no wonder why women at any age likes him. How did we both ended was something questionably until now, but, he was the only person whom never asks a lot from me, he is someone I know who loves me a lot. Though the idea is really absurd to me. "I told you not to bother picking me up" I said in stern voice, my eyes narrowed while looking at him but in return he just grin mischievously. "Yeah. And your welcome" He said tugging my hair in my ears. "You know we made a promise right? meeting my brother and his family" My brows furrowed. "I thought it is a day after tommorow?" "Guess my sister-in-law can't wait to see us both" He shrugs, guiding me to his car. **** On the road, Brent can't stop himself from stealing glances on his girlfriend, whom sleeping soundly beside her. Elianna Yllaissha whom she called Ellaine is undoubtly beautiful, their is no certain words can describe how lovely she was, she looks innocent when sleeping; but a living temptress when awake. Brent can still remember the first time he saw her; he still vividly remember how she easily captured his eyes for seconds. The way her hairs flutter in the wind of that winter night, contrary on her delicate and innocent face, she looks like a lost soul from nowhere, her beautiful and captivating eyes were dull and no life. Yet from unknown reason for him, the coldness of the season vanish from that moment, like a cliche romance stories, he felt a sudden momentarily stops of his surroundings. An angel from the falling heaven. bzztt... bzzt ... The buzzing sounds of his phone awaken s him from his reverie, he hurriedly connects the line on his headset. "Hello" Brent answered in low voice, not wanting to disturbed her sleep" "Brother, where are you?" the irritated yet still sweet voice of his sister-in-law lace on the other line. Brent chuckled. Despite being the eldest in the family, he still can't believe how his playboy younger brother got married first before him, not to mention that his only sister whom the youngest was married too, leaving him behind. "were on our way don't worry" he said, glancing again towards his girlfriend. "Fine. Be safe okay?" "okay, thanks. Just be a little patient okay?" he teases, he was close to his only sister-in-law. "Fine" Brent chuckled, he can clearly imagine her rolling her eyes. The line ended just like that, he glance once again to Ellaine whom he found awake, she was staring blankly outside the window. "They called?" "Yeah. Kinda reassuring that we will come" "seems like they didn't trust your words huh?" Ellaine smirked, she glance onto him, one hand supporting her head. "Well, I was thinking since earlier not to go, since you seems tired" "Nah, I'm fine. This is already settled in advance talk right?" she said gently massaging her aching head. "But you seems exhausted. I told you not to overworked yourself right?" worries lace on his face as he look at her. "I'm fine, you need how badly I need to finished my designs right?" Ellaine shrugs as she looks outside the window again. "but-" Brent sighed, having an argument on her was always ended of her winning always. "just do it moderately, I heard that you didn't sleeps at night from days before your flight back here. I'm worried." "I know" she answered in muffled voice. "But you don't have to be" "how can I not- hah." Another sighed escape from his lips, he just stared at her worriedly, from years of knowing her, this is the usual response on him. As if she was automatically replying without thinking on him, which he always felt the distance on her. Three hours had past before they finally reached they destination. Ellaine's eyes were stuck from the exterior design of this four storey modern contemporary mansion of Brent's brother. The design is indeed and well constructed, the design dramatically emphasizing the geometric shapes and lines of the house, not to mention how clean and neatly elaborate the asymmetry of the house contrast on it's well detailed landscape. Overall it is indeed perfect. The architect did a great job over this. "I guess my brother became a great architect huh" Brent whistled on her side. "your brother?" Ellaine can't helped but to point out the house in their front. "Yep. Unfortunately, it turns out he was indeed good in this profession, I thought, the only thing he was good at his flirting you know" he beams. "flirting?" "My brother is known playboy in his younger years, if you only knew the headache caused by him" Brent laughed " Mom keeps complaining on me during those years on how many girls coming to our house claiming they carrying his child though" he finishes, he honks his car outside the gate. It was the first time Ellaine hears anything about his family. They never did talk anything about it before nor tried to open up stories from their past which she didn't care at all and didn't give a damn of telling her part though. She was not interested anyways. Ellaine saw a middle age man open the gate for them, Brent smiled and greet the man before going inside the parking area of this house. "Gosh what took you so long" From the distance, a woman wearing a lolita dress appeared, a man following from her behind. Brent smiled genuinely, as he hug the woman. "I missed you brother-in-law, you should com often here! Why don't stay here for good? what's good in States anyways?" She said complaining. On the other hand, Ellaine seems stuck on her feet, her complexion seems not good. "Oh. Let me introduce you- Ellaine, you okay?" Brent holds her body that seems lost it's balanced. Cold sweats drops on her forehead, as she stared blankly to him, to them. Her breathings become rugged as if she runs miles away. Swallowing her dried saliva, something stuck in her chest. Everything was shady to her. Voices were in site yet only His prudent stares was the only thing that is clear to her. "Lays? Oh my god!" "you okay? babe" And the last thing happen was her losing her consciousness. "Are you sure she's okay?" "Yeah." "you sure? but why she lost consciousness like that?" "I think it will better if we refrain talking here right? Let's her rest for the moment" Elaine was aware of people on her nearby, though she was half awake, her eyelids seems so heavy to open, the same how her body didn't cooperate on its own. Gradually, silence envelops the area as her body drifted to sleep. "No! Please! leave me alone!" From unending darkness, Elaine was determined to run as might as she has. She badly needed to escape. She badly needed to be safe, for the sake of something precious she have. She keeps running and running, yet, no matter how long and hard she tried there is no ending; rather, the path she was keep on running becomes narrower and darker. Nothing but emptiness. "No please!" Elaine keep huffing in her sleep, she clenched her hand too tight on the bedsheets as if her life was clinging onto it. Beads of sweats forming on her forehead, breathings was hard as before. "Please!" Tears fell freely on her tight closed eyes, no matter how you look at her, you can tell how badly her dream was. A warm hand touches her drenched face, as the hand gently wipes her tears in bay. Suddenly, she felt secured for unknown reason, her face slowly become peaceful as if it's found her owned long awaited nest. Soft giggles coming from nowhere awakens Elaine from sleep, she opens her eyes as she saw an unfamiliar place she was. Recollection of what happen yesterday entered her mind the moment she seated from laying. 'right I'm here.' Elaine wipe her face using her one hand, dejection was written on her face, she kept contemplating, without realising that there is a pair of eyes that keeps looking at her. "are you okay?" Elaine flinched, yet she manage to kept her straight face. Worries lace on Rebecca's face as she looks at her best friend. Yes, Rebecca Eunice Sandiego - Anderson, her beauty is still the same as what Elaine can remember, though years past between them, her elegance and glamour is still the same. Looking back, she always have this kind of aura on her. Beauty like a royalty, her flawless face, doll like eyes, narrowed nose and pinkish lips, from how she opens and closes her mouth was full of elegance. The woman who has all things in this world. Beauty, wealth, good background and even a lovable family. Elaine can still remember how her best friend was cherished by everyone. "Lays- I mean Elaine, are you okay?" She repeated. Elaine parted her lips and yet no words came out on her. "Brent told me that you overworked yourself that's why. And to be honest I have a lots of questions to you. Where have you been? You just - vanished like that, Lays - what happened to you?" her voice was full of worries. It was a simple questions but why it is so hard to answer? When is the last time someone ask her if she was okay? And what supposed to be answered by that? Elaine contemplated, she stared at her for a long time before cutting her thoughts. Of course, this is not the best time to be buried on unecessarilly feelings. She was long done from it. Whatever it is, she buried it deep down within her. She's not the same as she was before. She changed for the better. "Lays - no Elaine" Rebecca, touches her hand, she gently squeeze her hand as if comforting her. "I just hope your not having a hard time" she smiled genuinely. 'That's right, she's always the same like before, the same Becca whom Elaine admired and adored. Becca, hero own best friend; the woman whom has it all. Everything she wanted to her life was given on her in just a snaps, she can have everything she wanted. Unlike her. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how she prove her worth, nothing comes on her own way. Yet, despite of this reality, she never felt jealous or envy to her. Rather, she felt thankful that despite being an unworthy person to be her friend, Becca treated her like her own sister. "Just call me Elaine, I prefer to be called that way" Elaine answered, her voice lace nothing but coolness as if nothing contemplating in her mind a moment ago. "And to answer your questions - I am okay and I'm sorry if we lost contact" Becca sighed, she was not contented on her answers yet she didn't pushed it on her. "It's okay, Brent told me a lot of stories about you" this time she smiled "Gosh! you better keep those years your absent! We have a lot to talked about! what do you think?" "I know, and I keep that in mind" Elaine smiled. "and to start with, we should hurry down, since we have a lot to catch up! C'mon! Elaine! You don't have any idea how badly I missed you!" "gents, here we are!" Becca beams as she called the men in the pool side. Pulling Elaine in one arm, she smiled proudly heading towards them. "Elaine, you okay babe?" Brent asks as he snake his arms towards her, he lightly kiss her temple. "I'm fine Brent, you don't have to worry" Elaine smiled reassuring him. "Ehem! we still here you know?" Becca fake her cough. Brent beams as he continue hugging her in behind. "Gosh! who would thought that my brother-in-law was dating my own best friend! what a small world isn't it? Right Hone?" Becca beams. Automatically, Elaine eyes darted towards the man who's walking to them, fresh from the pool, he was soaking wet wearing a robe to covered his body from view. "right! Elaine, this is my husband, Brent's younger brother - Zachary Theon Anderson. Hone, this is my best friend, the one I am telling you? Elianna Yllaisha Alvarez -" "Elaine, so I finally meet you" A smile form on her lips as she stared at him. His grayish eyes narrowed from an instant before he accepted her hand, they both shake their hands for a moment. "Zachary" he said in cold voice "Gosh! what's with formality hone, you can call him Zac, for what I know, we will become family in future right?" Becca winks. "Haha! You got it right sis!" Brent beams. Zac, unvisibly scoffed, Elaine chuckled seeing the unnoticeable disgust on his face. Zachary Theon, from how he looks, there is no clear resemblance towards him and Brent. From his thick and broaden eyebrows that perfectly fitted to his narrowed yet soulful gray eyes, pointed nose and heart shape lips; he was a perfect definition of savage handsome. Unlike Brent who loos like a boy next door type of man, this guy was clearly looks brutally handsome. No wonder why he once called playboy. Elaine click her tongue as she saw how he narrowed his eyes to her, his unwelcome stare was too obvious on her yet she found it amusing. She hid her smiles on the wine glass she was holding as enjoying this. "Mommy!" Their attentions got caught by the soft, sweet voice coming from the inside, a young girl running towards their direction appeared, her wet natural curly brown hair keeps fanning on her face, she smiles sweetly upon meeting her mother's arm. "Elaine, this is my daughter, Lauren, baby this is your aunt Elaine. Say hi to her baby" Gray eyes found Hazel eyes. Their eyes met in an instant as if mirroring each others. Elaine can clearly heard the thumping sound of her heart. Lauren, smiled broadly to her, there is a familiarity towards her smiles, slowly Elaine reach her. "hello, I'm aunt Elaine. It's so nice to meet you" Elaine genuinely smiled, "Hi aunt Elaine. I'm Lauren Ellise Anderson. Your so gorgeous! are you an angel?" they young girl innocently asks. "Haha! you know the right word baby!" Brent ruffled her hair. "Uncle!" the little girl complain. "oh! that's enough guys! let's get inside! the food is waiting!" Becca said smiling she hugs her husband using one hand. "C'mon! Let's go!" Brent said, carrying Lauren on his broad shoulder. A loud shrieking voice came out to Lauren who seems enjoying her uncle's company. **** "mind if I accompany you?" A rough voice awakens Elaine from her deep thoughts, slowly she looks at the man who seated right next to her, the way he looks at her was as if he was undressing her. "Do as you wish" she said. She stare on her wine in the bar counter. Not knowing what to do, after the merrily greeting she had with Becca, she found herself here, inside of the bar, drinking alone. It took a day, before Becca finally let them go, and took an hour of convincing Brent to let her alone. Now, this is the freedom she was wishing for. A freedom to be alone and recollects her thoughts. Night is getting late, The boozing sound of hard music and people dancing in the stage, but for Elaine the night is just started. "drinks on me" he said, as he raised his glass. Her eyebrow raise as she smirked, she gently sip the whiskey in her mouth as she smiled seductively towards the guy. "name?" she asks. "Axle and you are?" his dimples shown. He looks at her seductively. As if getting the message behind Elaine raise her glass "Ellise" there is no reason for her to gave her name. After all this is just an one night stand if happens. From what she didn't knew, pair of eyes where kept glaring at her in the distance.