TTMA [Complete ✔️]

8. Breathless

Knox's P.O.V

My blood boiled with anger and before I could realize I had the guy smacked against the dirty wall, his throat in my grasp. I smashed his head once more, blood spilling from behind him and trickling down the wall. I waited for a reaction, anything, but he only stood lazily with his feet dangling in the air and his eyes gazing at the floor.

''The spell has something to do with this." Kane acknowledged, just as annoyed as I was.

I agreed but didn't bother responding as I gripped his throat harder. There was no way he didn't feel a thing, no way he wasn't intimidated by me. The concept of witches and their spells were far forgotten, the last living witch killed back when I was around twelve years old. She had been burnt right in front of my father, the screams of her mate piercing the air. They were so loud that the whole pack experienced what it was like to lose a mate. The terrifying sound of the poor wolf's world crashing and suffocating him, leaving him alone again was engraved in all of our minds.

''Who cast the spell?" I demanded, dropping the prisoner to the ground. It wasn't like he felt anything so there was no need for me to waste my energy on him. He looked at me annoyed for disturbing his peace.

''Do you seriously expect me to tell you?" He snickered as he adjusted himself to a sitting position he found comfortable.

''You will if you want to live!"

''You'll kill me either way. Besides, if you kill me you will never get the answers to the questions swimming in your mind." He responded so calmly, as if he was speaking to a friend about some lame TV show meanwhile I was barely holding back from shifting, the Alpha in me not used to the disrespect.

I grabbed him by the throat again, slamming his head into the wall until I felt calm enough to continue. Then, I caught it. Her scent. It was faint, but there was something about him that reminded me of her. The scent wasn't the only similarity-her hair was the same shade as his underneath the coat of grease and blood that covered it.

''Do I remind you of your mate by any chance, Alpha?" He mocked, making a pout face, at least as much as he could due to the busted lip. If I managed to hold Kane back before, there was no way I was stopping him now. He snarled and growled, his aura making everyone, but the prisoner in my grip submit. Suddenly everyone in the prison, even on the right side, was kneeling, their necks bared in submission, but once again the blonde guy didn't even stiffen.

My wolf's eyes glowed red, his canines sharpened, and his claws longer and sharper than they had ever been before. I had never seen him so angry, so terrifying. He didn't fully shift into the beast he was, instead, he forced me to the back of my mind and used my body. His claws dragged painfully over the prisoner's chest, creating scratches over scratches and bloody wounds, which he once again didn't feel. Kane pounced, biting his leg and taking chunks of skin off of his ankles.

''What did you do to mate?" He snarled, baring his teeth in warning.

''Whatever I wanted to. For years we used her as a slave, our personal toy. And you weren't there to do anything as I-" Before he could continue Kane lost control and snapped his head. It rolled near our feet, blood spilling around the lifeless body. He tore the body limb by limb, breaking bone by bone until all that was left were pieces of torn flesh and piles of broken bones.

''That's for all you've done to my mate!" He growled before letting me take control again.

I felt a lot of eyes on me as I turned around. My warrior had cowered back, still kneeling, his eyes glued to the floor.

''Are you going to let me out, or do I have to do it myself?" I snapped, making him jump. I could hear the pounding of his heart. It was beating so fast it could jump out of his ribcage, the sound harsh on my ears.

The rattling of the keys made me look away from the remains of the body I had gone back to observing. With shaking hands, the guard managed to unlock the cell. As I was getting out he moved back, trying to put as much distance between us as possible. I snapped my eyes to his, not letting him drop his gaze. He gulped, unable to move, as I walked closer.

''If you tell anyone anything that happened here, you will face a much worse death!" I threatened, gesturing to the pieces of skin and bones that were left. He nodded immediately, his heart rate quickening even more.

''Clean this up!" Was all I said before storming away. As I closed the door, leaving the prisons behind me, and stepping into the real world, it felt as if my lungs were burning. Breathing normal air after the damp one was hard, but the ache in my chest didn't make it easier.

My heart clenched as my mind recalled the man's words. Their slave, their personal toy, all things a woman shouldn't be-werewolf or not. I may not want a mate, yet the pull was stronger than I was. The images of so many men torturing innocent she-wolves already made my blood boil, but with her it was different. He admitted to hurting her. She was in this state because he and the others did this to her. Although it was something I was aware of, hearing him say it felt as if silver was spread through my veins.

I hated the feelings I couldn't fight. I hated those bastards for what they were capable of and for what they did. I hated myself for not stopping it sooner, but I couldn't hate her. She was the reason I was in a constant battle with myself. One, I was deadly afraid of losing, and yet somehow, when it was about her it didn't matter that much. I hated the fact that I couldn't stop this, stop her from cracking my shield, ripping apart what I had learned to build over the years. She was ruining everything I was, everything I had built, all the guilt I had felt all seemed so small when I caught a single sniff of her scent, caught a single glimpse of her, and knew I could have saved her.

And yet I still declared I wanted nothing to do with a mate. I couldn't have one, I wasn't worthy of one. Why was I blessed with one when I couldn't even save her in time? I still didn't want a mate. But did I want her? Could I have a mate if it was her?

Reality came crashing down. Even if I did, I wasn't worthy of one. I didn't deserve her. Therefore, she wouldn't want me just much as I wanted to not want her.

I bent over, my arms resting on my knees as they supported my weight. I was a failure, I couldn't even push the girl away, I couldn't save her from them, and now I wasn't saving her from myself. I panted, the air suddenly not enough. It was hard to breathe, hot in the middle of winter. Rage. Guilt. All of the emotions pumped through my veins.

Finally, I had enough of being pathetic and weak. I stood up proudly to my feet, ignoring every emotion and pushing it away where it couldn't haunt me. My breathing somewhat normalized as I headed inside. I wandered the corridors of the house, hoping I could calm down before going back to my office.

At least I thought I was wandering. Suddenly, I found myself in the medical wing, in front of a girl's door. Her door. Immediately her scent suffocated me, embracing me and filling my nostrils. I needed to breathe it in. I needed the sweet mixture of vanilla and lavender around me. I needed to breathe it in until it was impossible to breathe, I needed to suffocate in it, in her.

Suddenly, I was a lot less confident, a lot like a teenager, who was sneaking into their girlfriend's house, hoping not to be caught by her parents. The only difference was I was no teenager and I was afraid of being caught, but I didn't know from who. No one would pry. No one would care. Yet, I still found myself looking left, right, and behind me before opening the door.

Inside, her scent was stronger and I could hear the beating of her heart. Slow, fragile, but beating non the less. Her scent completely engulfed me and I was finally drowning in something other than pain and sorrow. I was calm for the first time since I was a toddler. I hadn't even remembered what that felt like, I was confused I even recognized it.

I allowed myself to look at her for the first time. I held my breath as I slowly walked closer, allowing myself to peek at her features. Her hair was the same color as the guy I had just killed, but hers was more... gentle. She had a few bald spots, a bunch of knots, dirt, and blood covering her thin hair. The color was so pretty, even if the hair itself was unhealthy. She had gentle freckles covering her nose and cheeks. Not too many, not too little-just enough to compliment her features.

She had small, but plump pink lips covered in bruises. Her lower lip was chapped and bitten, a smudge of blood still sitting uncleaned. Her nose was small and like the rest of her face-perfect. The only thing I could tell about her eyes was that they were coated with long, thick eyelashes and one was blue and swollen. She had been hit, but I was afraid that wasn't the only thing they had done to her.

I reached my hand over to feel her skin against mine, but quickly retracted it, snapping out of my daze. What was I doing? I never wanted a mate and as beautiful and perfect as the girl was, she wouldn't change my opinion. For all I knew she had a nice scent and she was gorgeous and abused, but that was it. I had no name to match to the face I just saw and no pack that wanted her back as a member. She was just a dangerously beautiful she-wolf who would cause me dangerous problems I wasn't willing to have.

I took one final look and dashed straight for the door. Once I was outside, ready to forget losing control, ready to go back to the Alpha I had to be, a doctor appeared in front of me with a worried expression. I mentally cursed myself for ever coming here, for getting close to this door.

''Alpha?" He bowed respectfully. ''Why were you in there? Were you hurt?" Of all the questions he could have asked, this wasn't one I expected, but rather one I was glad about.

''No. I wanted to check how the rescued she-wolves were doing." I explained. I wasn't entirely sure he bought it, but he didn't question me further.

The doctor nodded, his features suddenly becoming sad and worried.

''The one in the room-" He pointed to the door I had just left from. ''She isn't doing good, it's very unlikely she will survive without her life support. She has been in a coma ever since she came here and sadly she has shown no signs of improving. Alpha, she is weak, pale, and way too malnourished for a werewolf. Had I not smelt her wolf, I would have thought she was human. If she doesn't show signs of getting better by the end of the week we will take the life support away." He sighed as he finished.

At first, the words didn't register. Then they did. If she didn't get better by the end of the week she would die, the bond, along with her. It was selfish of me to think this way, but it would be the easier way out. Like that, I wouldn't have to send her away and I wouldn't have to fight myself or Kane anymore. I would be free and alone again.

Kane and the bond were going crazy, my chest once again tightening, making it hard to breathe, but this time I was determined. I was determined to end the pain for both of us and there was no one who could stop me.

''Ok," I replied with a nod and walked away.

A/N: Hi friends! Thank you for giving my book a chance and I hope you are enjoying it! Knox has agreed to let his mate die, but will he be able to do it or will he change his mind?