So, This is Love

I Like You

For all the attention we choose to give to other people, and some of the most compelling and unexpected ways of developing a connection are those of having a new found friend.

You are friends with someone not just because of mutual interest in one another’s experiences and thoughts, as well as a sense of belongingness and connection – but it also talks about listening to them, the instrumental support you could give, the respect, admiration, and trust.

As what people says, there’s no telling when and where a friendship will develop. It doesn’t define how long you have known each other, it always come and tells you to be with that person.

Matapos noong birthday niya, we have been seeing each other, not the means of planning together with him, but the times that my friends and his circle of friends are seeing each other, lalo na dahil maraming bagong kakilala si Luz sa mga kaibigan ni Roux. So it wasn’t possible to mingle with him also.

I didn’t notice how Roux kept appearing on my daily life after that encounter with him.

On those days we’d see with her friends, of course kasama ko lagi si Luzi, si Rixi minsan lang sumama dahil pinapanindigan talaga ang motto nito sa buhay niya. Sa mga araw na iyon na nagkakasama at lumalaki ang mga nagiging kaibigan ko bukod kina Rixi at Luz, doon ko rin siya unti-unting nakikilala.

For the past four weeks we’d see each other and hang-out with the same circle, inihahatid niya ako tuwing matatapos ang hangout ng barkada, or minsan kapag nakikita o naaabutan niya ako sa labas nag School at nag-aabang nang masasakyan. Sometimes, he’d also drive me, Luz, and Rixi. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ang dami kong utang sa kanya kahit man lang libreng pagkain.

Hindi ko talaga inakala na magiging malapit kami sa isa’t isa after his birthday that night.

Hindi man ganoon kalapit pero sapat na iyon para minsang sabihin niya ang mga problema niya sa buhay, kung paano niya once sinabi sa akin na napapagod na siya maglaro nang basketball.

I wasn’t the best person to talk with, but I am a good listener. I didn’t saw him play basketball but I feel him working hard for his teammates, despite the fact how hectic his schedule plus that he’s a student and at the same time an athlete.

Minsan nagtataka rin ako sa sarili ko kung bakit bigla-bigla na lang siyang pumapasok sa isip ko.

The way he simply show his care with his friends, how carefree he is with girls, and how strict he is as a captain of the basketball team. I often see him smile and laugh with other people, but seeing him sometimes being serious is another kind of hit and points for him.

Kagaya na lamang ngayon, nandito kaming dalawa ni Serna sa gym at nag-uusap, nagpasama siya sa akin dahil bibigyan niya na naman si Jack ng energy drink para sa practice nila ngayon.

I was engrossed in my thoughts about him when Serna came and talked to me.

“Ang gwapo ni Salvatero kapag seryoso ang mukha niya right?” Serna uttered referring to Roux nang makalapit sa akin matapos niyang ibigay kay Jack ang binili nitong energy drink. Puspusan ang training ng team nila ngayon dahil paparating na raw ang schedule ng final game sa rival school namin.

Napatitig ako sa gawi ni Roux na ngayo’y nakakunot ang noo, nakikinig ng mabuti sa sinasabi ng coach nila.

“Oo, mukhang bagay sa kanya ang porma ng buhok niya.” Sabi ko naman at tumingin sa kanya. Napangisi siya sa komento ko at kinurot ang tagiliran ko. I’m not blind enough not to notice how admirable Roux’s face and skills.

“Napapansin ko medyo close na kayong dalawa ah? Napapadalas ang pag-uusap niyo na kayong dalawa lang kahit marami naman tayo sa grupo. Anong meron?” Pang-uusisa niya sa akin. Pinanliitan ko siya ng mata.

“Anong tungkol doon? Random lang naman iyong pag-uusap namin.” Sagot ko naman sa kanya. Tinatantya niya ako ngayon gamit ang mga titig niya at lalong napangisi.

“Ang showbiz niyo ring dalawa eh,”

“Bakit naging showbiz, hindi naman kami artista.” Sabi ko.

“Hindi nga pero since sikat yang si Salvatero, talk of the town yan, and every single person who’s going to be linked in that guy would also become an instant celebrity. Remember noong finollow ka niya sa i********:?” She said. She was right, it was a blast, even until now nakakagulat pa rin ang bilang ng mga followers ko sa IG.

Napatango ako roon sa sinabi niya, I still remembered my encounter with those girls in the cr. Roux knows that incident because there’s this time where I got to blamed him why I didn’t go to my class in the very first time of my life. He was sorry, but I said that it isn’t his fault why he’s popular with girls or why his fans would even go die for him.

I saw them took a seat on the bleachers and drink their water, but Roux jogged towards us and smiled. Kahit na punong-puno ito ng pawis at medyo nagulo ng kaunti ang mahabang buhok nito ay parang ang astig pa rin nang dating niya, hindi rin siya mabaho, in fact I still smell his scent.

“Manonood ba kayo ng practice game?” He asked. Umiling agad ako roon sa tanong niya.

“Hindi ako nanonood ng basketball. Baka si Serna.” Sabi ko at tiningnan si Serna sa gilid kung panonoorin niya ba si Jack o sasama siya sa akin pabalik sa classroom, pero umiling din siya.

Actually, before kami pumasok sa gym ilang bese pa akong pinilit ni Serna, ilang beses din akong humindi pero wala na akong nagawa nang hinatak niya ako sa loob, sabi niya ay madali lang talaga raw. I thought it was going to be a scam again, pero binigay niya lang talaga iyong dala niya kay Jack.

“Aalis na kami,” Sabi ko. We bid our goodbyes to each other as well as Serna on my side.

Naging magaan lang naman ang klase naming buong hapon, pero hindi rin nakatakas sa sistema ko ang pagkaantok buong hapon habang nagpapanggap na nakikinig.

I’m not a saint nor a very good student. May mga panahon na nakikinig ako sa guro ko pero hindi ko maprocess kung ano ang sinasabi niya kahit ang galing naman nitong magturo. And there are times also na nagpapanggap lang talaga akong gets ko ang lesson pero dumudugo na ang utak ko. But at the end of the day, inaaral ko na lang sa bahay.

“Jordi! Alam mo bang bali-balita sa buong engineering department na crush ka raw ni Santi?” Kim muttered. Dahil sa malakas ang boses niya, ay napatingin ang lahat sa akin.

“Saan mo naman nasagap yan?”

“Duh, malakas ang sakop ng radar ko kaya abot hanggang teacher education department, ewan ko lang bakit hindi mo narinig.” Sabi niya sabay hatak ng isang upuan sa unahan at itinapat iyon sa akin.

“Hindi ko ‘yon kilala,” Sabi ko at nagpatuloy sa pagsusulat.

“Yes, hindi mo kilala pero kilala ka, at crush ka pa.”

“Hindi naman big deal ‘yon.”

“Anong hindi? Girl! Si Santi ‘yon! Artista iyon eh!”

“Wala akong pake kung artista ‘yon, hindi ko siya kilala at wala akong planong kilalanin, period, locked tapon susi.” Sabi ko at sarkastikong nginitian niya. Roux on the other caught my eyes, he shifted his weight and sit again, and then asked me.

“If he’s going to chat you on IG would you reply?”

“Hindi,” Sagot ko naman ng diretsahan sa kanya, because that was the truth. Unless kaibigan ko siya or it is something important, that’s maybe the time to reply.

“Good.” He said and then nodded.

“Bakit? May magseselos ba kapag nagreply si Jordi kay Santi sakaling mag-chat nga sa kanya?” Si Luzi habang pabalik-balik ang tinging iginawad niya sa aming dalawa ni Roux.

“O, bakit hindi makapagsalita dude? Jordi’s single so it’s okay for her to reply.” Agustin uttered.

“O ano may magseselos ba?” Luzi said who looks like challenging Roux on to something I don’t know. Tiningnan ko si Serna na halatang naghahantay sa magiging sagot ni Roux. Napuno ng tahimik ang paligid, umabot iyon sa limang segundo pero wala ni isang salita ang namutawi sa bibig niya.

“Parang wal—” Si Luz matapos maputol ang sasabihin niya nang magsalita si Roux.

“Oo, may magseselos, may maiirita, may maiinis…” Banggit nito. Pagkatapos niyang sabihin iyon ay naghiyawan sila pero hindi naman ganoon kalakas at nag-high five pa sila kaya ikinataka ko iyon.

“Kaso, mahihirapan ang sino mang magtatangkang umibig sa babaeng ‘to,” Luz said breaking whatever they have on their minds. Pinandilatan ko agad siya.

“Bakit naman?” Si Serna na mismo ang nagtanong.

“Siya talaga iyong tunay na non-believer of love!” Sagot nito kaya napairap ako sa kanya pero balewala lang iyon.

“Oh awat na, hindi kailangang ipaliwanag pa.” I cut her off.

The topic about me of not believing in love ended when I stood up and walked inside Serna’s house because I needed to pee and let out all of the bad luck inside me. I did all the thing I could do inside the comfort room. Nag-alcohol ako pagkatapos at tahimik na lumabas.

I was about to go to the garden area where we are drinking but I saw Roux there, probably waiting for me because when he saw me, he stands firmly and took both of his hands on his leather jacket. I continued walking and stopped in front of him.

“May kukunin ka sa loob?” Casual na tanong ko sa kanya.

“Wala naman.”

“Eh bakita ka nandito?” Takang tanong ko.

“I…I just have to talk to you about something.” He stuttered.

“Oh, tungkol saan ba? Kung academic stuffs hindi dapat ako ang lapitan mo.” Sabi ko at tumawa nang mahina. He smiled too, pero nasundan iyon ng pag-iling niya.

“It’s serious for me, would you listen then?”

“Nakakaba ka naman,”

“Not really, but I am nervous on what might be your reaction about this.”

“Sige lang, ano ba iyon?” I said and crossed my hands, ready to listen to what he was about to say. I felt him sighed and wet his lower lips.

“Wala akong masamang intensyon ok? Maliwanag ‘yon. But you know what? There’s this instances. You, me, when we’re talking or hanging out with friends. Uhm, matagal ko nang gustong sabihin ‘to sayo, it was supposed to be last week but I am busy and you are busy too, and now…” He stopped for a while when he realized something was off.

“May sense ba ako sa mga sinasabi ko?” He asked.

“So far? Wala.” Tugon ko naman sa kanya and shrugged my shoulder off.

He sighed heavily to gain much courage before he speaks up because he really looks so tense right now just by looking at him.

“I like you Mags,” he uttered, and then moved one step closer to me, enough to close the distance between us.