ENOUGH already.

It's only a matter of time before this life ends me.Haven't I been through enough?Surely I deserve some peace and quiet.Not this constant chaos ,pain and all this hate.I'm not asking for much,just a little silence. My dad,well stepdad,isn't the best father figure.Not even close,he's the worst.You see ,my mom started dating him twenty years ago.He was all sweet and nice.He was what you'd call the perfect gentleman,prince charming.They dated for about a year then broke up,for reasons I'm not sure of.Three months after the break up ,my mom met someone else. Can you guess who that was?Yeah,you got that right,my dad.Biological father.They would hang out together almost everyday after they met.He was the total definition of a bad boy.He had a crooked nose,heard he was a fighter,a boxer at that time.He walked like he had no care in the world .A bit cocky and arrogant ,according to my mom,but she still went out with him.We wouldn't be in this situation if she didn't go for an arrogant MF.Anyway,back to where I was ,they went out for two weeks,just "enjoying each other's company".Did I mention that they used to smoke, no?Yupp ,they used to. Last time they "chilled" together,they didn't smoke anything.Dude was going away and they got caught up in the moment.One thing led to another and what do you know,tadaaah...me(at least they weren't high).Dude didn't wrap it before he tapped it! And he knew he wasn't staying.Selfish of him if you ask me. I wonder if he has kids all over the province because apparently he was "touring" Mpumalanga.Okay,let me continue.Mom woke up the following day alone on the bed.They slept where he was staying during his visit in the city.She called out his name,and got no answer.Searched for him in the suite,still nothing.After cleaning up,she went to the receptionist to ask his whereabouts,dude checked out earlier that morning.At least he had the decency to pay to let her sleep until later . She sashayed her way back to where she came from.Few days later, stepdad came back begging her to take him back.Girl told him to go f*** himself and closed the door at his face.A month later she found out she was pregnant and had no one around to help her.She was an only child, parents passed away when she was a teen.After her parents' passing,she went to live with her paternal relatives in the Western Cape.They didn't really like her (something about her mom,my grandma),so she came back home in Mpumalanga after her teen years. She then decided to abort,haha,I know right.She emptied her savings account, which wasn't much,and went to the "clinic".Mind you,she deposited the money beforehand (dumb,I know).When she got there, there wasn't a clinic at sight.Mother saw a flyer, thought yaayyy, didn't bother checking if the place was legit or something and deposited the money.She cried,shame,in fact she wept,snort on her face and all that.Her words,not mine.She had no other choice and went to look for stepdad. Found him,told him everything and he seemed supportive.Told her she could stay with him while searching for "the thing's biological father" (red flag).She was grateful for the help,plus she wouldn't have to pay rent and groceries.He said he'd take care of everything. After a week of settling in,mother went back to the guesthouse where "lover boy" was staying,in search for some info.Trip didn't go well,they told her policy doesn't allow them to share their customer's information, previous or not.We were stuck with stepD.Two months before birth, mom and stepD got married, yippeeee.After my birth,things were fine until they weren't.