Entangled With You (B X B)

Chapter 04 : My grief, my regrets and my love

The quietude he needed, Minjun sighed in content. Leaning his rear at the edge of the marble sink, he threw his head back and lost himself staring at the white ceiling, thinking about nothing in particular. It felt good to hear nothing but his own breathing or just the sound of water flowing peacefully somewhere, somehow.

Just in time his breathing had gradually become slower and at a normal pace, Minjun heard footsteps approaching the toilet from the corridor. Minjun hoped the yellow board would work for the time being, he still needed the time to be alone. It was a selfish move to claim the whole room for himself, Minjun was aware of it. So after a quick thought Minjun said to himself to just hide in one of the stalls and let anyone who would use the bathroom be. He felt bad to monopolize things that were not even his in the first place.

Ok, he probably over-thought it.

As the sound of footsteps came closer, Minjun turned to find the most comfortable stall for him to stay. Whatever that meant. But before he decided to choose one, a voice called.

“Hyung?”

The room was surrounded and full of hard material, so just a little bigger voice would sound so loud, and it startled Minjun. He turned to look through the mirror on his back only to find the very least person he expected to see right now. “Jisun?” he asked with a deep frown between his brows.

“Minjun hyung, are you okay--”

“What are you doing here?” Minjun beated the latter’s question.

Maybe Minjun was being too blunt or the younger one didn't expect the sudden confrontation, Jisun took a step back once and contemplated things in a second before deciding to just walk closer to Minjun. He ruffled his own hair then fixed it again a second later while getting close to Minjun, well the mirror.

“Sorry if you’re expecting someone else?” he said in tiny, which somehow made Minjun feel tiny as well. Ok, that did not even make sense.

"No I didn't." Minjun denied, eyes still on Jisun who nodded at his words. He was not sure what happened, but Minjun decided to walk back to the sink and stood behind Jisun who was still looking at him through the large mirror in front of them.

"So hyung, what's wrong between you and Yunjin?"

"Why?" Minjun leaned on the wastafel as he continued watching the younger still trying to fix the hair.

"Well, you left in a hurry." Jisun's hands paused in the air. "Your face was kind of making it obvious that you didn’t like Yunjin. Is something bothering you?"

Minjun sighed, grabbed the paper towel to wipe his already dry face and hands. He didn’t know, he just felt like it. He didn't expect Jisun, out of the people, to ask him about it. Well he didn't expect anyone exactly as no one in the club was that close to him to ask this personal question (except for Chan). Heck, he didn't even know when this kid came to the terms of casually talking to him, Minjun never invited him to one! Like how in the world Jisun talked to him with his ‘hyung this hyung that’ instead of calling him ‘sunbae’?

And to top it all, Jisun could see that he was bothered by Yunjin’s presence back then. Well, it was not that Minjun was pro in hiding his mien either.

"Ck! It's good." Minjun threw the used paper to the bin.

Jisun lifted his brows, confused by the unrelated answer.

"I mean your hair." Minjun explained in annoyance. "You’ve been fixing it since the second you’re here, it's good already. You can rest assured."

As if Jisun just realized what he had been doing just now, he took his hands down and chuckled awkwardly. Started to rub his nape for the next.

Minjun didn’t say anything else as he let Jisun’s question hang in the air unanswered. Luckily, Jisun didn’t push it either. So Minjun intended to just leave, he grabbed his blazer uniform that was lying on the wastafel.

"Wait hyung," Jisun cleared his throat, and if Minjun didn't see it wrong, the younger couldn't even look at him steadily now. "uh… y-your shirt th-the button…"

Minjun lowered his gaze to look at- Oh, he unbuttoned three of them out of frustration before. He forgot to button it back. If he passed by the student presiden looking like this, he could be in trouble. A ‘Thank you’ would be a decent response in a situation like this, but Minjun found it a little bit awkward to do. So in the end he only muttered, “Mn”.

He quickly fixed the button then motioned Jisun to come back to the club with him, together.

They were not talking until they reached the club room. Once Minjun opened the door, every eyes looked at him expectantly but he could just careless about it. It was not like he owed them an explanation so he would just casually sit on his previous chair with Jisun in tow. He had to waste another hour by sitting beside Yunjin and presumably be patient about it too.

Alright, I can do just that.

Jisun failed his plan though. Right before Minjun could take his seat, the younger claimed it first so the only seat that was left for him was the one Jisun had before.

Minjun could only see how Jisun so proudly sat on it and patted the chair on his right for Minjun to sit on. “Come, hyung.”

There, there were so many things Minjun suddenly wanted to say to this junior of his. One of them should be a thank you, for whatever reason he felt less pressured than before right now. He was sure none of the things Jisun did were intentional, damn the guy probably didn't even know what he had done, but that surely helped Minjun in a way.

“What, you’re disappointed that you can’t sit next to me?” It was Yunjin who talked. But Minjun was not responsible to answer that or give him any reaction, so Minjun simply ignored it. Thankfully, the guy seemed to not want to prolong it either.

“Ah so,” Jisun clapped his hand once everyone seated on their perspective chairs. “Are we ready to discuss some real job to do?”

Minjun shrugged, then considered it might not be a proper response, so he nodded his head in the end.

“You won’t help us anyway.” While it was right, Yunjin really had the nerve to say it out loud to a senior which elicited a super awkward laugh from Jisun and bewildered look from others in the room who happened to hear it too.

Minjun didn’t know what satan came to him and lured him into saying things he would regret the next ten minutes later. Maybe because there were too many students younger than him here and Minjun couldn’t let himself be humiliated like this. Or maybe, it was because of the way Jisun looked at him with so much curiosity in his eyes. Or maybe, because he hated Yunjin and hated it even more when that guy was right. Either way, Minjun blurted out,“You could use my cam if you want. I’m pretty good with it too actualy.”

By the time those words escaped his mouth, Minjun was already regretting it. But then he saw Yunjin, with a pair of shocked eyes looking at him, disbelieving.

Ok, maybe it won’t be that bad.

●●●

It was terrible.

Minjun wanted to pull all his hair off or maybe punch himself in the face. He had been asking Chan to do it for him for the past five minutes but the said friend was only laughing at him instead.

Speaking of Chan, it was all his fault.

"It's your fault, your f*****g fault." He gave up on his hair and let it stand in all directions. The wind was blowing hard this evening, it would be no use for Minjun to fix his hair anyway. He would just let them be to lessen his stress level.

They were seated on empty bleachers with some random students playing basketball for their view. Chan was playing with the team right before Minjun was here. Lookedike the match was at its peak fun, judging by how reluctant Chan was when Minjun motioned him to stop to have a talk.

He didn't feel any slight of guilt for interrupting Chan's free time, though. The guy owe him that much. Besides, Minjun needed someone to blame and Chan was the perfect candidate for it.

So here they were, busking together, looking at those amateur basketball players with some cooled cider on each of their hands.

Chan giggled then said, "Yeah, it was." The bastard didn't even deny it. "But in my defense, you really didn't have to offer yourself for the job y'know. I still don't get why the hell you're saying that. You didn't even mean it."

Yeah, thinking back to how Minjun offered himself for a part in the project, funnily he really did mean what he said. He really considered himself capable because he knew he was good about it. But then after giving it some thought, he knew it was bullshit on his part.

So why did he say that in the first place?

Fuck, Minjun wanted to know too. Maybe it was because of his pride. He couldn't let it happen when Yunjin had the chance to provoke him, he hated it when he was right. While Yunjin was right that Minjun couldn't help with the project given his current situation, maybe Minjun just wanted to prove him wrong.

"So, why did he join the club? He was never interested before."

Chan nodded in agreement, "Tell me about it. You know how active I had been with school activities since the first year, not even once did I ever see him come near any of the school's clubs."

Minjun was silent, Chan was right. Even when he was a transferred student, Minjun could still remember how Yunjin always complained once in a while about this. His homeroom teacher had been pestering him on joining at least one club activity to balance his academic score. But Yunjin was not one who followed the teacher’s advice. At least that was what the guy told him once.

“Anyway, just to make it clear bro. I have no saying about this. Mr. Song came to me with his registration paper and…” Chan tried to tell something with the way his shoulder moved rather funnily, trying to make a point here. “...as you can see.”

“Hm…” Minjun mumbled. He understood that it was inevitable for Chan to avoid it even as a leader of the club. It would also be a little bit childish or unreasonable to prohibit anyone into joining the club just because… well-

But understanding didn't make him out of his problem.

"Just tell them." Chan suggested.

"Tell them what?"

"That you’re only speaking bullshit.”

Minjun groaned. It was not that he couldn't operate the camera. He really didn’t lie when he said that he was good with it. The thing was, it had been months since the last time he properly touched it. Also he couldn't just lend them the camera. It… it held not only memories to him. It was his grief, his regrets and his love together in it.

Minjun still could not believe how reckless his mouth could be.