Perfectly Broken

(13) Lovesick Fool

[For Mature Audiences]

~Ryan's POV~

God knows I needed a party, anything to get my mind off...I'm not even going to think about it. You know why? Because tonight I'll be having fun with Emma.

The new girl, Tori's house—or should I say mansion—was well lit down a bare gravel path, no neighbors nearby so we could be as wild as we wanted. I pulled up on my motorcycle, taking my helmet off and placing it on the handle. Everyone knew me, so everyone knew that if they touched my motorcycle, Rocky, they'd be shoveling gravel out of their ass for weeks.

When I approached the music pulsating house, the firsts to walk up to me were Brad and Turner, two of my closest "acquaintances." I didn't really have friends since I found friendship to be tedious and risky. You never know when someone will stab you in the back. Emma was different. She's been the friend I've been waiting for.

"Ryan, the new girl has a Jacuzzi in the back," Brad asked, his arm slung over his girlfriend, Becca. He's a cool dude, met him in middle school. He's less annoying than he was back then. "And a huge ass pool! Nudity is acceptable!"

Turner patted me on the shoulder. "Hey, some girls been waiting for you," he told me.

My heart thumped in anticipation and I played it cool, like always. "Emma Thorne?"

"Nah, Candice Baker." He leaned closer to my ear to the point where I could smell booze on his breath. "Said she'll go upstairs to one of the bedrooms whenever you want."

I brushed him off. "No thanks." Weaving through the crowd of wild, sweaty dancers, I looked around for Emma, catching sight of her by the snack bar laughing with Tori and...the guy from the movie theaters? I felt my blood heat up at the sight of him, recalling how she said they were just friends yet he called her babe. I'm not normally a jealous man but when it came to Emma, I couldn't help but be jealous.

I headed towards them, catching Emma's attention first, feeling the world pause for a minute as she gave me one of her beautiful smiles. It lit the entire house and it seemed like everything else didn't matter but her. "Hi, Ryan," she greeted, snatching me out of my daze. She was throwing back a handful of M&M. She was wearing a tight black dress I've never seen before, pulling it down when it started riding up with only a few shakes.

"Hey," I said, still somewhat dazed.

"Admiring my dress?" Tori asked, scaring me. I forgot she was there. She gestured to Emma who was moving her hips a bit to the music. "Emma didn't come with party approved attire so I had to hook her up."

She hooked her up alright. It was lacy and elegant and at the same time showed enough skin to get a man's heart racing. Pleasing to my eyes and scanning the room, it also caught others attention, which was displeasing. I gave them all death glares that had them cowering and looking away.

"Movie guy!" exclaimed the guy from the other day. My jaw clenched, seeing how close he was to Emma, hips inches apart. "Oh, Ryan, right?" He turned to Emma. "You did say, Ryan, right?" She nodded, the curls in her hair bouncing, making her even more stunning. I licked my lips, having the strongest urged to just pick her up and take her upstairs so I could have her to myself. I turned back to the guy who was offering his hand. "I'm Jude and no hard feelings."

I shook his hand, raising an eyebrow. No hard feelings about what?

"Oh, my gosh!" Tori gushed, grabbing Jude's arm. "I love this song! Dance with me, Jude!" She was already dragging him to the center of the room and he seemed happy to follow, gazing at Tori.

Emma and I just stared at them for a moment. "I introduced them," she told me after a long second, pouring herself a cup of punch. We were close enough to not have to shout. "They looked like they would be good together."

"Look at you, the matchmaking cupid," I teased, crossing my arms. Emma gave me a small smile and I wondered if she was sad to let him go. It created a ping in my heart but I ignore it. "He was your date just the other day."

A cute pouty look that made me smirk graced over her face. "It wasn't a date. Like I told you, we're just friends, and when I introduced him to Tori, they seemed to have a lot in common. Plus, I didn't have those kinds of feelings for him—"

"Like you have for Alec?" After what Alec said on Monday, I've noticed that she's spending less time with him and seemed to be sadder. If Alec was the one who made her the sweet, happy girl I love, then I wouldn't mind them being together. But this was my chance to see if I could make her smile.

She pursed her lips, taking small sips from her cup as she thought it over, her eyes glued to the moving bodies close by. "I tried to be like the girls he likes, I was trying for him, but..." She looked like she wanted to cry but held back, taking another sip from her cup. "You were right, Alec's is a moron." Yes! I'm getting closer and he's getting farther. She sniffed. "How come I can't stop my feeling for him?" She gulped, struggling to hold it together and I really didn't want to see her cry, not over that ass.

"Let's dance," I said, grabbing her hand.

She gulped the last sip, throwing it in the trash before following me. We snagged a spot on the edge of the dance floor, our bodies grooving to the beat, deliberately getting closer. Emma seemed to be enjoying herself, the smile that lit up the room returning as she grinded her body to the music. I knew she could move but she seemed so energetic about the music that it took me by surprise. It wasn't until she wrapped her arms around me, the scent of her breath, although fruity, had a faint underlining.

"Emma...have you been...drinking?"

Her body was so close, I could feel her breast rub against my ribcage, and I suppressed the urge to do naughty things to her. "Punch."

"More than punch. More like the alcohol variety?" I kept my body moving as she twirled around, her butt rubbing against my swollen erection, her back against my chest.

Her hand traced circles at the nape of my neck, causing me to groan in pleasure. "Tori wanted to be the first to spike her punch. I just took a few sips." Well, a few sips wouldn't hurt, but knowing Emma, I wondered if her body could handle a few sips. She was too much of a goody-goody to be doing this on regular bases so her body was probably new to all of this.

"Don't drink anymore, alright?" I held her close, loving the feeling of her body against mine, even with her clothes on. Although I was rubbing circles against her thigh which she didn't mind.

She giggled. "Fine."

We danced for a while and once she grew tired, we took a seat on one of Tori's couches. In the 'parlor' (as Tori called it), only a few people mingled and made out, still being able to feel the vibrations of the music in the other room.

"Have you opened the art kit?" I asked, hoping she'd say yes so I could take her upstairs and have my way with her. However, she'd only say I took advantage of her while she was drunk and I don't want to go through that again.

She shook her head proudly. "No." Then that sadness arose again. "I probably never will if I have to get Alec as a boyfriend to open it." I could see her mind racing about Alec's words on Monday and I wanted to punch him in the face for saying that. I would have too. Why didn't I? Oh yeah, that would have made Emma mad at me. I was turning over a new leaf with her, get on her good side.

I pushed back my hair and sighed, leaning back. "Emma, why do you like Alec?"

She sat back, not minding my arm lying across her shoulders. She fell into peace while speaking. "He's always been there for me. After my dad died, I had no one to comfort me, especially my mom because...she sunk into a deep depression and had to be hospitalized for a while. Alec's father took me and my brother, Chase, in during that time.

Alec stood by my side through it all. He made me smile when I wanted to cry, he protected me at school, he's helpful, kind, and nurturing, and he was the support I needed. When I'd get depressed and feared I'd be next to be hospitalized like mom, he always pulled me to my feet. When he just looked at me, I felt like I could conquer everything and I've stuck by his side because I loved that feeling.

I eventually came to love him. He taught me how to believe in myself and try to conquer whatever I feared. And he was the one who taught me to smile during the times I wanted to scream and cry and run away. Like my dad, he encouraged me to continue to draw. For the first time since my dad died, I felt like I wasn't alone."

I drew in a breath, processing her words. I never knew how important Alec was to her or that he'd done all those things. To think I was the i***t who'd inflict sadness on her when she was in her darkest moments made me hate myself. If I could change things, I would. I wouldn't have picked on her. I would have tried to be a wall she could lean on, as Alec had been. I should have known.

"Emma," I said, pulling her out of her trance. We locked gazes and I caressed her cheeks, seeing her blink away threatening tears. "I've never been able to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being the punk who used to pull your hair or call you names or...most of all, for ruining your art collection in middle school. I didn't know you were hurting and I only enhanced it. But I want to change that." I took her hand. "Alec is important to you, I see that, but there are more people in your life who would love to be a support for you if you need it."

She gulped, tiny stars illuminating her blue eyes. "Like who?"

"Me."

She stared at me silently, her breathing growing heavier that split second. Her hand touched her chest, her eyes penetrating through me. She bit her bottom lip and wanted ever so much to lean down and nibble on them as well. Then she spoke. "Ryan, I...I like..." She looked down at her lap. "...being...with you, I have for a while. I like how...my heart pounds just seeing you walk down the hall." She returned her gaze to me. "And...I like you...though, sometimes you scare me...but I like those times too because I know...those scary moments will make me feel good in the end. I can't describe what you do to me...but it's different than when I'm with Alec and...that petrifies me most of all."

I felt happy to hear her words. I've never been this happy with anything in my life until the moment I saw her, introducing herself in elementary school. To make her feel those things, it gave me a sense of accomplishment, that I was going somewhere with her. And maybe, just maybe, I could make her forget about Alec entirely.

"Emma, I—"

"Emma!" a girl called. In the blink of an eye, Tori was grabbing Emma's arm and pulling her to the other room. "I'm not doing the cha-cha slide without you! I said I would teach you!" I couldn't speak out the words before she disappeared, giggling, around the corner. Groaning in defeat, I plopped back on the couch. My heart ached at her words, those nervous words taking a toll on me for the better. At least I knew I meant something to her, that I had a place in her heart.

"What did she mean she likes being with you?" a familiar voice asked.

On impulse, my jaw clenched at the sound of his voice, fist balling along the couch. "Don't you have some other unfortunate soul to screw with?"

Alec leaped over the couch, plopping down in Emma's place, and I snatched my arm back in disgust. He had on a smug look, his lips pressed together tilted. "And neglect my brother's unfortunate soul? That doesn't sound right, does it?" You have no idea, I thought, rolling my eyes. "Now tell me what she meant. Why are you two hanging out?"

I smirked, liking that the thought of Emma and I hanging out infuriated him. "What's wrong? You afraid your plan to keep her away from me is about to be foiled?"

He gritted his teeth. "You can't have her—"

"Why not?" I said it in a low groan, threateningly.

"Because you don't deserve happiness," he hissed, now angry. "You took away my entire childhood with your shitty father and left me with nothing. Emma makes you happy, hmm? That's why I took her away! She's mine!"

Now he just sounded like a whiny seven-year-old. Emma wasn't a toy. Yet, he's been playing her since elementary school to seek revenge on me. And I was tired of it. "f**k your childhood! You know damn well it was better than mine but you're such a spoiled brat that you can only pity yourself! Emma has nothing to do with this! It's about time you lay off her!"

"Never!

"Why?!"

"Because she's my best friend!" He glared angrily at me but when he sputtered those words, pain coursed through his eyes. He leaned away from me, a sort of realization cutting through him. "She's all I've ever trusted in the world. I can't lose her." His words sounded fearful like the apocalypse would arrive if she ever left him. For the first time, I realized that his friendship with her was probably born of revenge but eventually grew into a pure-hearted bond.

Turning away, I rubbed my temple, not believing what I was going to tell him. "She loves you, Alec." He heard me despite saying it so quietly. "You're not going to lose her because she loves you and wants to be with you. The clothes, the attitude, the new image, it was all for you. She wanted to be the type of girl you'd want. It was never for me, it's always been for you." Those last words hurt to say. "Just ask her to be your girlfriend and I'll...step off."

Besides the music, silent tension grew between us for the longest. Then he spoke sadness, "I can't." Hold up, did he just say he can't? I looked at him peculiarly. "I can't ask her. What if it doesn't work out? It's too much of a risk." He looked lost, holding his head, now staring at the ground. "I knew she liked me but...I've been too afraid she might...leave me." I guess mom leaving him really did hit him hard. Well, duh, I knew that but I never knew it turned into such a traumatic experience that it plagued him being with Emma.

I should have been throwing a parade that he wasn't going to ask her. Instead, I could only think about what Emma said about him being her support. "Emma won't leave you, believe me, she's crazy about you."

Just then, Emma, Tori, and Jude entered deliriously until their eyes dropped on us. Emma glared down at Alec, Tori looked between Alec and me, and Jude just looked everywhere. I think the boy was drunk.

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked. I could see her eyes tracing him longingly but then she snapped out of it, looking at me with a smirk. Soon, she strolled over to me and sat down in my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck. Hey, I didn't mind one bit. Tori and Jude, sensing a fight, decided to leave before they could witness something illegal.

He glared at me, his eyes practically scream, "You scumbag!" I just shrugged it off, wrapping my arms around her waist. Yeah, I was a lovesick fool for Emma, and I loved putting it in his face.

"Emma, what's going on between you and...him?" He said him in revulsion.

Emma smiled tauntingly. "We're s*x friends." She emphasized s*x and I felt a pleasurable shock go through me when she announced that. It was the crème da la crème on a revenge plot going into chaos. "I've been sleeping with Ryan for the past three months now."

"Wait, s*x friends?" He looked dumbfounded.

"Yes. Ryan and I, despite how weird it sounds, have people we love but refuse to acknowledge it, so we become each other's support."

Alec blinked a couple of times, what Emma was saying was too surreal for him to fathom. He looked at me then her and again me several times before his eyebrows dipped. "Emma, I need to talk to you—in private." In private was obviously directed at me.

I was about to tell him to forget it and then Emma surprisingly stood up, crossing her arms superiorly. "Yes, we do need to talk." She looked at me and with a sigh, I granted her wish, walking to the living room where people were still gyrating.

Alec was going to tell. But then he'd have to tell her that he befriended her just to get back at me. He could always lie though and being him, 75% of what came out of his mouth was bullshit. I hated that I left, allowing him to manipulate her again like he's done countless times. At the thought, I balled up my fist at my side, counting the seconds going by before I stormed in there.

"Oh, baby," a voice sang. Shivering at a finger grazing my arm, I looked down to see Candice smiling lustfully at me. "I've been looking for you everywhere." She bit the corner of her lip, inching closer in her tight red dress that resembled a pillowcase. She flipped her blonde hair back, grabbing onto my arm. "How about we hit the Jacuzzi?"

Candice has been having a crush on me since God knows when and at many events, she'd pester me about sleeping together. I wasn't going to fall for that trap. "I'm here with Emma," I told her, snatching my arm away.

She scowled. "Emma Thorne?" She snorted obnoxiously. "She looks good for one week and all of a sudden she's the s**t?" She pressed her body closer to me, that wicked smile returning. Her hands were now exploring the front of my jeans. "Come on. Stop wasting your time with a little girl when you can have a real woman."

"Okay."

We both jumped at Emma standing before us, Candice's hand still touching my package. I was startled when Emma literally pushed Candice off of me and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me to her lips. They tasted fruity and intoxicating and instantly, my hands drew her closer, wanting to taste more. She pulled away before I could explode with ecstasy, leaving me craving more.

"He has his woman, now be gone, little girl," she sneered. My jaw dropped at her words. She turned back to me, a sly grin capturing her lips, and I felt an erection just by that smile (and more). She grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me towards the staircase, leading me down a hall, and into a bedroom. Once inside, she closed the door, locking it. The moonlight was all that allowed me to witness her smoldering gaze.

"Emma...did you just say...you're my woman?"

She nodded, unzipping her dress seductively. "I told Alec I love him but I also like you." The dress pooled to her feet and she took long strides towards me, pulling on my shirt. "I want to see if we can be more than s*x friends...after tonight, of course."

Her lips captured mine again and this time I took a hold of every ounce of ecstasy, drawing her naked body closer to mine. We fell back on the bed, our kisses passionate and longing, better than I could have imagined. She tugged off my shirt as I rolled around, pinning her on her back. She let out a tiny moan, urging more as I caressed her breast in my hands, my lips never leaving hers. She moaned my name and I caressed her even harder, my animal instincts taking over.

I couldn't seem to get enough of her.

I slipped off her panties, massaging her core and admiring the sound of her moans mingled with my name. I wanted to show her how much I loved her, like I tried every time, but this time, she was making love to me. I played with her core, feeling her nectar rush onto my hand as we sunk deeper into the covers. Trailing kisses from her lips to her soaking core, I couldn't help myself, pulling her closer. My tongue laved her wet core, tasting every drop of her sweet nectar, while she sang a symphony of moans in my ear.

"Ryan, I need you!" she cried, her nectar spilling over on the sheets.

I unzipped myself, my pants barely off of me before I slowly plowed inside her. She let out a pleasurable scream, pulling me closer as I dug deep. Her wetness felt so amazing on my manhood. I decided to take it slow, basking in this night with her. The times we've done it before didn't seem to compare to right now, kissing her lips as I filled her up.

Eventually, we went stark raving mad with lust, not being able to get enough of each other. I'd pump in her viciously until she rolled over and grinded against me. The bed was larger than I expected as we found ourselves using every inch of it. The moment we came together, we continued like it never happened, her nails clawing me in the back, and it only invigorated me.

Panting heavily after coming for the third time, we wrapped ourselves beneath the covers, needing some sleep. This would be the first time we ever slept together since Emma would usually run off as soon as we were done. She laid her head on me and I held her tight, wishing to never let go, kissing her forehead, and falling asleep.

"Ryan..." I opened my eyes for a split second, smiling at Emma's wild mane. It was cute. "I..." Drowsiness caused me to go in and out of consciousness. "...bath...okay?"

I nodded, "Okay," before falling back to sleep.

When I woke up again, the sun was peeking through the curtains and I had my arm wrapped around a pillow. I could have sworn it was Emma. Sitting up to stretch, I wondered if I dreamt of last night and me and Emma's jungle play of lust. It didn't seem like it since I wasn't in my bedroom but in a plain white guest room.

I yawned, getting up. "Emma?" Rubbing my eyes, I slipped on my jeans, noticing Emma's clothes from last night was still lying on the floor. I decided to search for her, unlocking the door and venturing down the hall. There were plastic cups on the floor and I kicked one away.

"...what happened?"

I paused at Emma's voice, backtracking to the cracked room. Peering inside, my blood boiled at the sight of Emma in bed—with Alec. Why was she in there with him?

Alec smiled down at her, pushing back her hair before she could pull away. "You don't remember? We slept together last night." She gasped. "What do you remember?"

She thought for a moment. "Doing the cha-cha slide and Tori, Jude, and I was exhausted after so we started gulping down punch. And that's it." Urg! That i***t, she was drunk. I guess she won't remember last night at all. I wanted to punch in a wall but settled on continuing to listen. Just to see what kind of lie he'd feed her. "What happened?"

"Well, after we met up and I apologized and you told me that...we should become...sex friends." Deep in my gut, I knew he was manipulating her again. There's no way she'd say that. Girlfriend and boyfriend? Yes. s*x friends with Alec? No.

She shook her head in disbelief, taking a deep breath. "What about Ryan?"

"What about him? He left with some girl by the time we started talking." I could have ripped out his heart and shoved it down his throat. But it'd be futile: he didn't have a heart. "So we had s*x and you were perfect. Do you want to continue being s*x friends? Until we can progress to something more." He forged a defeated voice. "You said you'd help me get over Brooke."

I had the half a mind to rush in there and break them up, telling Emma everything, the truth and why Alec was such a bitter asshole. I was about to until Emma's voice stopped me. "Yes!" That hurt. That crumbled my heart in a split second, "yes" being an arrow shooting straight into me. Just last night, she was my woman, now she was agreeing to be with Alec? Of course. This is what she wanted, to be with Alec, right? I wished her the best, I couldn't take it back.

Before I could wallow in self-pity, I headed back into the room and grabbed my shirt, yanking it over my head, checking for my motorcycle keys. I hurried down the stairs, ignoring their giggling, and made to the front door to be stopped when I opened it.

"Oh, Ryan," Candice smirked, clutching her purse. "What a nice surprise."

"What do you want?" I groaned.

"Nothing, I just came to get—oh, here it is." She stepped inside picking something up before walking back outside. She stopped and smiled at me. "Did you have fun with your woman?"

"Why does it matter to you?"

"Because you can tell her I had fun f*****g Alec."

I couldn't hold back, "That bastard!"