His oppression

Reminiscing Memories

Chapter Eighteen: REMINISCING MEMORIES

As soon as my eyes opened, all emotions in me went numb. Fundamentally, the details of the dream I’m kind of certain that I had were now completely indistinct and fuzzy that even someone asked, I’ll probably butcher what supposedly happened. But with all things considered, I put those thoughts aside but I can’t help but to be troubled by them. It was just a dream and it has nothing to do with what I do in real life, I ever so slightly convinced myself.

From the corner of my eye, I immediately recognised Radcliff with his back turned to face my direction. I suspect he was doing something but my body was aching too much that I couldn’t move so I just let the curiosity slide for now. My throat also felt so sore that I was afraid if I speak, I’ll lose my voice. All I know was that he was mumbling incoherent words to himself whilst hearing him move things.

“A-Aria? You’re finally awake!”

He must have finally noticed that I was back to consciousness when he spun around with a damp towel in his grip. Carefully, his eyes examined my face then my body afterwards. If he wasn’t too obvious that he was really looking at me, I wouldn’t have felt embarrassed. It’s funny though, before I really don’t mind people staring but if it was him, it’s hard to disregard.

“You’ve been sleeping the whole day, I’ve tried to wake you numerous times already.” he informed, a sigh leaving his lips as if he was really relieved that I’ve come back to my senses.

“A-aw, you really were that concerned?” I teased with a smile on my face before forcing myself to sit up so I don’t feel the lightheadedness. “That’s nice.”

“You were drowning in the bathtub, Aria. It wasn’t even at least 2 feet. You really couldn't have possibly drowned." he helped me up before placing a pillow behind my back.

Once I got comfortable sitting as I slumped my shoulders down to relax I looked at Radcliff. "I can't swim."

"But you weren't even swimming, you're not even in a— anyway, that aside, are okay? What do you feel right now?"

"Maybe I got too relaxed, that's why I drowned?" I shrugged my shoulders off. "I see that happening. Instantly, when I got into that tub, my whole body just shut down. My thoughts were clouded. I-I felt like I was floating despite being submerged in the water."

“Do you remember anything after that?” he asked, taking a seat at the edge of the bed as his eyes were still on me.

“I’m trying…” I was shaking my head slowly as I called to mind the events that happened following. “I can only remember prior.”

“That’s fine, do not force yourself to remember. Tell me only when you do.” he smiled at me kindly before putting the damp cloth on top of my head and I’m surprised it was warm. “I’ve put my doll on you to see what your body temperature was. And you were cold.”

My eyebrow raised up at that, not knowing how to react that he had put his doll on me. “Of course, I was drenched in water. My body is going to get cold.”

“Well, I surely did not think of that.” he burst out laughing, his eyes twinkling and that made me smile too. “I’m just glad that nothing serious happened to you.”

“You knew this wasn’t serious because?” I smirked at him.

“Because,” he poked my nose with his finger. “Because you were still breathing.”

“What if I was breathing and slipped into a coma?” I asked, crossing my arms against my chest. “This means you weren’t taking my situation seriously.”

“Do people that are in a comatose state talk in their sleep?” he asked curiously.

My eyes widened slightly. “I was talking in my sleep?”

He nodded his head, his eyebrows coming into the middle. “I was confused. I couldn’t understand the language you were speaking.”

“But I only speak in English.” I was baffled too but nevertheless just put that side.

As long as he couldn’t recognise what I was speaking about, even if it was about him or someone else, I’m all good. And I kind of wondered if there had been other instances that I was sleep talking and he just didn’t tell me. Or the fact that he knows that I’m sleep talking and he’s inside my room when I’m in such a deep slumber.

What a creep.

“Perhaps you do and you just have no idea or anything.”

“That’s impossible, I should have gotten a class for that or something but I-- oh, are you talking about Spanish? Because I got a class in College but I’m telling you I’m far fluent and I only know like 2 or 3 words. I’m not even exaggerating, they’re hola, señorita and vamos.”

He smiled at me. "Maybe, I have no idea. Maybe it's the language now that we didn't have back then. And it's alright. That's a good sign that you were okay."

Nodding my head, I just looked at him whilst thoughts were running through my head freely. There was a strong urge that I should pay my grandparents' graves a visit. I haven't really done that before, well because I was feeling cowardly. I'm not going to gloss over that anymore. I'm done playing and fooling with myself.

I need to see them right now.

"Hey, Radcliff?" I called out after a few moments.

"Yes, dear?"

"I want to go out."

"Go out where?" he asked, taking off the cloth from my head.

"To my grandma and grandpa." I sighed a little. "I miss them."

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now."

"But you just woke up."

"I-I know."

"Can you rest for now? We can go out tomorrow."

I looked at my window and discovered just now that the moon was so high up. In no hell was I going to the cemetery at night. If Radcliff's doll alone scares the living crap out of me, I don't even want to start imagining what I'll do if I saw actual ghosts with blood dripping down their faces.

But the worst case scenario may be: I could end up burying myself alive if I ever fell in a ditch. I would want to meet the devil himself rather than be buried alive. Or is that the same thing?

"you're going with me tomorrow?"

"Of course I am. Something might happen to you again like what happened today and I will regret if something did happen and I wasn't there." he told with a slight pout on his lips. 

-

Tomorrow finally rolled up quite nicely. By the time the sun was rising, I was already awake and had been cleaning my closet for the last hours because whatever I do to seek drowsiness once more, I ended up not finding it so whatever. My closet needed general cleaning anyways when I always forget to put them back up on the hangers. 

And I found the dress my grandmother gave me for my 25th birthday even though I’m not one to wear it-- I still, however, appreciated it. She does every year though but I never got to wear them. She really wanted to see me in a dress because I happened to look like her in her prime (or her youth, that’s just what she often says) and she wants to be reminded of the days. But every time she persists I wear one just for the sake of it, I’d just drop the subject and move on to another one because hello, ego. 

Today, I decided on wearing it. Maybe she was there and she’d like to see me wear it even though she’s passed on already. But please, if she ever does see me in it, don’t make sudden hints that she’s there because I swear to God, I will pass out. I’ve not really fully digested everything that has to do with Radcliff, I’m not even halfway there and again I can’t afford to lose my sanity at this if my grandparents just thought to show themselves to me. I’m just really doing what I could because someone is counting on me.

“I’m going to bring your doll,” I reminded Radcliff when he came into the room and just in time too when I was just brushing my hair to look at least decent.

“You’re Aria?”

I frowned at Radcliff’s teasing before going back to look at myself in the mirror and parted my hair in the middle. 

The dress felt nice because it was cotton. It wasn’t like any other clothing I’ve tried on, this one was authentic and I know my grandma always wanted that-- clothes that feel comfortable to wear and against the skin. It was sleeveless and the length stopped mid thigh which was more than okay to me; not too short and not too long that I’ll get annoyed by it when I walk.

“I think you should put your hair up.”

“You think?”

He nodded his head, approaching me. “I didn’t think I would ever see you in a dress.”

“That’s because this is the first time I’m ever trying it on. Is it okay?” I just asked, looking at him in the mirror. “It makes me look more of a woman now.”

“Yes it does,” he chuckled a little. “I would bet on a million coins men would look in your way the moment you step out of this house..”

“Yeah that’s not happening.” I laughed a little, grabbing a hairband from the table and brushing my hair up again to tie it into a ponytail. “Does that mean that you don’t like what I usually wear?”

“What you wear… is fine. But don’t you think it’s a little more refreshing to wear something out of your comfort zone?” he asked, putting a hand on my shoulder before my arm.

I couldn’t even begin to get under my way to understand the complexity of my feelings right now when he touched me. Either I want his hand off me or I want him to continue even though it feels so wrong yet it’s right? Does he even know what he’s doing?

Probably, yes. He’s doing this purposely so I can put my guard down. Or that because he’s a man and likes to flirt like my first impression of him was.

“W-wait, my grandma left me a key.” I told him so I could just go out of the situation and sat on my knees when I was looking for a box under my clothes. Pulling it out, I rummaged through my things before pulling out the key to the basement. “Let’s go to the old house after.”

“O-oh okay…”

He seemed unwilling this time and that got me curious but when my phone rang to indicate the time, I instantly disregarded what we were talking about, turned it off and put on my sandals.

“Too bad you can’t drive.” I laughed at something I had in mind. “I would pay for the police to pull us up even though there wouldn’t be a person there and they’ll lose their minds when you drive away. Oh that would be entertaining to see.”

“It will be, I’m certain. But I think it’s difficult to learn how to drive a car. I rode carriages pulled by horses before.”

“Only when you’re rich!” I hit his shoulder with my fist. “Let’s go cowboy.”

“You have so many other names for me.”

“I just don’t think Radcliff fits you well. Maybe Adam!”

“Adam, what a normal name.”

“Well you’re just a normal guy too, what were you expecting?” I laughed, getting down the stairs.

Stupid apartment building doesn’t have an elevator and mind you I’m on the fifth floor.

“Like Julius or something.”

“Oh so you want to get assassinated or something? From the people you trust? Oh- oh okay I get it.”

“Yes. Yes, you do.”