Forcedly Yours

Chapter Five

Two months later

---

Days went by so fast.

Pagkatapos ng insidente sa parke ay hindi na ako pinansin ni Aiden.

Not that I was expecting him to, anyway.

Ilang beses ko siyang sinubukang kausapin pero di niya ako pinapansin. He'd either walk away or pretend I didn't exist. Torture ang halos araw-araw ko siyang nakikita pero parang di niya ako kilala. I deserve it though, after stomping on his heart, I know I do.

Aiden and I were great friends. He was one of my only two friends in the world. So, I did not just lose a boyfriend, I lost one of the few people I trusted, too. All for the mess my family got involved with.

I certainly can't think of my life without my sister, I can't even imagine what would have happened if we lost her. But it practically cost my life, and that is something I find so unfair.

In a way, we really are in debt with that asshole. As much as I hate to admit it, he saved us from the misery we would have to face if Karina never made it.

I blink, my mind bringing me back to the present.

My lifeless eyes stare back at me in the mirror. I am in a fancy bathroom with several beauty products scattered in front of the vanity. I recognize the brands, but I can't bring myself to care about how much my makeup costs at this point.

My makeup looks flawless, my hair in a stylish, messy bun, a pair of diamond earrings that I don't remember owning, and a sapphire necklace dangling on my neck. And yet, I feel so hollow.

"That's perfect!", sabi ng make-up artist na mukhang nasiyahan sa gawa niya,"Now, it's time for your gown." He then starts to ramble about how lucky I was to be wearing the gown, how the designer was sought after, how crazy the price tag is, and so forth. And yet again, I can't bring myself to share his feelings.

I look at myself. My gown fits me perfectly, showing my subtle curves. It's a tube gown na medyo makikita ang cleavage. Leyton's mother mentioned Leyton's sister designed it herself. Something like mermaid cut, whatever that meant.

I never met his sister. May tinatapos daw kasing collection para sa nalalapit na fashion show.

Again, rich people live life as they please. I inhale, feeling suffocated.

I hear a knock. Nagtama ang mata namin ng mommy ni Leyton sa salamin.

"Is it done-" Naputol ang sasabihin niya. "Oh wow, you look stunning, Kristina." she smiles as she walks closer to us. Agad namang tumabi ang make-up artist nang pumwesto sa likod ko si Tita Liza.

I gave her the best smile I can muster at the time. Hindi ko pa rin makuhang masanay, ang hirap parin e-digest na may byenan na ako.

"Thank you po. Kayo rin po, sobrang ganda niyo."

"Oh, please. This is not my day. And you can start calling me mom. You will be officially joining our family in an hour so don't call me Tita anymore." she offered me a smile, she gave the make-up artist a nod and he went out and shut the bathroom door.

Nagsimula akong kabahan. Is this the part where in mamalditahan ako ng magiging byenan ko? I was holding my breath when she gently caressed hair.

"This obviously comes as a shock to you," she started giving me an empathetic smile. "It was to us, too. But like his father, Leyton really goes after what he wants. I know this is not what you expected to happen during your college years, Kristina, but I am glad you're here. My son is a bit difficult but you'll know that he takes care of what he considers his own. I hope to see your genuine smile in the near future."

I was too shaken at her kindness and acceptance to answer. What did she mean about what Leyton wants?

Nabalitaan kong kakauwi lang kahapon ni Leyton galing sa France. He's been there for the past two months doing some business errand. Hindi ko na kasi siya ulit nakita simula 'nong iniwan niya ako sa kwarto ko.

No texts. No phone calls. Not so much as an email. Nothing.

He had the luxury of living a life in France while I couldn't escape from my newfound hell. Damn him.

—-

I'm shivering as I hear the music play. Someone is playing the piano and the violin, hitting the notes perfectly. My hand feels cold, my stomach clenching.

"Tin?" nag-aalalang agaw ni papa sa atensyon ko.

Wala sa loob na tumingin ako sa kanya, ramdam ko ang pangingilid ng luha ko. "P-pa..."

Hinawakan niya ang nanginginig kong kamay. "You're okay, Tin," pag-aalo niya. "Everything is going to be okay."

I'm not and it will not.

It hurts to swallow, my eyes stinging. I take deep breaths to calm myself and give him an unsure nod.

Nagsimula kaming maglakad papunta sa altar.

I can't stand the smiling faces of the strangers around me.

Cameras flashed everywhere. Napaka-ganda ng pagkaka-set up sa lugar. Picturisque, ika nga.

Leyton's parents decided to host the wedding sa isa sa mga resthouse nila.

My dad offered his arm to me and smiled. I feel so miserable that I can't even smile back. But then, I looked at my family's faces and I could see my mom smiling with tears in the corners of her eyes, my friends who looked beautiful in their dresses, and all of a sudden I felt a sense of... relief? Peace? I'm not even sure.

Karina gives me a comforting smile, her face radiant. Her pinkish cheeks and bright eyes were so full of life.

I feel myself calm down, no longer feeling so heavy all of a sudden. My sister is alive and smiling at me. My parents are no longer going to jail.

What could go wrong?

The wedding is the perfect depiction of a fairytale. The only difference is that my prince is not quite charming.

I begin to walk on the aisle, feeling every set of eyes watching me but my eyes are locked with his. I can't even look away even if I tried. Granted, he looked handsome as usual but, I still hate him so much. I hope he sees it in my eyes.

This is the first time I have seen him in two months. He looks impeccable as ever. Not that I expected him to grow horns the past two months we were apart.

He is not smiling. Leyton looks at me intently, like he owns me. Like he doesn't plan on ever letting me go.

My hands shook when my father gave me to him, literally.

I jerked when I felt tingles around my body the moment he held my hand. Wala sa loob na napatingin ako sa kanya, and by the way he's clenching his jaw, I know he felt it, too.

I broke the eye contact and faced the priest.

The ceremony starts. I listen inattentively to the preaching, my mind flying somewhere else. A happy place. A place where I can be on my own. I began to panic when we began saying our vows.

Nawala sa isip ko na kelangan pala to sa kasal.

I hesitantly looked at my sister and she mouthed 'You can do this' to me.

I have the script in my head. The meaningless words I was forced to create. I blurt them out unsteadily, "I, Kristina Sayson take you Leyton Rossi to be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I yet to know. I will respect you as an individual, a partner, and an equal. I promise to laugh with you when times are good and endure with you when they are bad. I will adore, honor, and encourage you. You'll be my confidante, and I'll-"

I stop. Obviously, I can't tell him I'll love him forever because I don't and I don't think I ever will.

He stares at me, challenging me, waiting for the next words I will say.

I looked around noticing everyone seemed to skip breathing.

"And I'll cherish you always," I said instead.

He remained staring at me blankly. I slip the ring on his finger with my shaking hands. He held one and rubbed his thumb at it for a minute before reciting his vow.

"I, Leyton Rossi, take you, Kristina Roca, to by my wife, secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love."

That was the shortest vow ever, the way he said it was cold and expressionless. However, it contradicts how softly he is still rubbing his thumb on my shaking hand. He slips the ring on my finger.

"You may now kiss the bride."

I blink.

My eyes water, my eyes glancing around everyone. I'm going to have a panic attack. I know I am. Leyton seemed to notice because he pulled me close and put his hand on my nape, gently giving me a false sense of comfort.

Before I could say anything, he smashed his lips against mine. I was expecting a brief and quick kiss but this isn't anything close to that.

He moves his lips against mine, his scent making me feel drunk and I feel myself leaning into him. He gives my lower lip a small nip before finally releasing me.

"Mine."