
Seventeen-year-old drummer Amy Parks has been in band since fifth grade, is now the percussion section leader, and belongs to a garage band called The Maniacs. After her first crush on another girl at the age of ten, she swore to keep that part of herself hidden, even from herself, and never let it out again. Her band director is rumored to be gay, but other than that, Amy knows no other gay people, and thinks the word “lesbian” can’t possibly apply to her, even though her younger sister Erin constantly calls her gay and Amy has a half-n***d poster of JLo on her wall. But still, she can’t be gay, right?
Then Amy meets the new girl, fellow band member Becca.
Amy is afraid of the thoughts and feelings she experiences, and thinks if she gets a boyfriend, maybe she’ll stop being so attracted to Becca. When the first boyfriend doesn’t work out, she jumps to the next guy, but is still unsatisfied. Amy begins to go to the lesbian chat room online and befriends a mentor named WhiskeyMind, who tells her for the first time that being a lesbian is about love.
When Amy finally decides to tell Becca how she feels, she must face the choice of being true to herself and losing everything, or hiding in the closet just to keep her friends and her position in The Maniacs. Is coming out the right thing to do? Is Becca really the girl of her dreams, or is there someone else out there for her?

Chapter 1I knew something was different about me when I was ten. I rode the bus to school that morning, very excited. I was finally going to tell my best friend how cute I thought she was. I really didn’t think much about what would happen afterwards, except she would be so happy. She would smile, and…and I didn’t know what would happen after that. But it would be good. I waited all day, nervous, and finally slipped the note onto her desk just before I left class to go to band, where I was learning how to play percussion. The note said, “I think you are very cute.” Unsigned, because she would just know it was from me. I spent band class playing my heart out on my practice pad, gripping the drumsticks tightly and nodding my head to the beat. This was my favorite part about school. Well,
