Diary ng Maitim

Chapter 14

Entry 17

Dear Diary,

I woke up in a happy, jolly, mood. Why? Inabot ko kasi ang aking istilong baguang salamin at ang kagandahan ko ang unang bumulaga sa akin. I had that effortless messy bangs I so wanted to achieve. Ang mama ko, biniro pa ako na kung gusto ko raw makuha ang ganyang effect, ipakahit ko raw sa manok pangsabong ng kapitbahay.

Well, this time I didn’t need to. Natural ko siyang na-achieve. Siyempre, I wanted to savor the moment so humanap ako ng magandang angle gamit ang front cam. Until I noticed my face looked glassy, tulad sa mga Korean. Partida, wala pa akong gamit na image editor niyan, ha? Perfect rin ang pagka-puffy ng eyes ko. Aam mo `yong para siyang maga, pero `di dahil sa kaiiyak sa K-drama? Think in terms of Marian Rivera.

So I was having so much fun doing a photoshoot all by myself na nakakadalawang tawag na si mudra. Sa pangatlong tawag niya lang talaga ako bumaba, a good call I must say, kay na-realize ko kung hindi pa ako gagalaw for sure, mali-late na naman ako tulad last time.

But just before trekking, I picked up the best shot out of 100 outtakes at shinare ito sa aking social media accounts with a caption: #glassskinfinallyachieved. Chinarge ko ang phone right after.

I felt like Snow White singing to the birds going down the dining. Of course, lumamig na ang kanin. Nasa sofa si Mama, nakatalikod sa`kin. Bukas ang t.v. I knew she wasn’t watching at the moment kay nakayuko man si Mamshie, probably scrolling through her phone.

Hindi ako familiar sa palabas but I stared at it. There was a girl who picked a red gumamela from a garden and in slow motion effect ng camera, nilagay niya ito behind her ear. Then lamyerda dito, lamyerda doon. It was only when she turned a street, did the boys suddenly got moonstruck by her beauty.

An idea formed in my mind.

So I wolfed on my food, naligo, then habang nagbibihis, I checked on my phone. I have plenty of notifs. But among them, I focused on the angry react coming from Mudra. `Di pa nakuntento, nagkomento pa:

‘Dana, magkaiba ang glass skin sa oily skin. Kung sa unang tawag ko pa lang sa`yo bumaba ka na, hindi sana kita mabubuko. Tandaan mo, maaari mong maloko ang mundo, pero Dana `wag ako.’

Ang supportive.

While it hurt na ilaglag ka ng Mudra mo, mas nasaktan ako sa part na mas marami pa na-garner na react ang comment niya kaysa sa mismong photo ko. Eksenadora rin talaga si Mother Earth e. After kong makaayos, bumaba ako’t lumapit sa kanya. Hindi ko siya puwedeng paandaran ng pagkataray ko ngayon dahil hawak niya baon ko.

And after ko ma-get-get aw ang datung, nag-strut na ako along the bangketa. As I approached Aling Lonya’s front garden, pumitas ako ng gumamela. Sadly, kulay yellow ang flower ng kanya pero that would do.

Binilisan ko ang gayak nang makita ko siyang lumabas, may mga pangkulot pa sa buhok at may hawak na tingting. Tumahol kasi ang kanilang aspin na bihira lang mangyari. Piling tao lang ang tinatahulan nito. I happened to be one of them.

Bago ako lumiko pakaliwa, isinuksok ko na ang bulaklak sa aking tenga. Nilabas ko sa bag ang bagua’t nanalamin. I looked pretty. In-imagine ko na the moment lumiko ako sa kanto, `yong panadero kina Boobsy, `yong nagtitinda ng siomai, mami’t palamig and all the people would turn to look my way. Tulad no’ng sa t.v.

They did.

But for the wrong reason.

There was a buzzing sound on my left ear, kung saan ko nilagay ang bulaklak. At no’ng huminto ako saglit, I saw it. Hindi ako maka-distinguish ng bubuyog sa hindi pero as long as may panusok sila sa puwetan nila, bubuyog ang tawag ko sa kanila.

But to give you a sketch of what it looked like, slightly smaller siya sa salagubang. Very black, shiny, and if you thought nakatataranta ang tunog ng blender, mas nakatataranta ang isang `to.

Since I didn’t intend to get stung ay gi pisti! Kumaripas ako na animo’y participant sa SEA Games so that no’ng makarating ako sa sakayan, wala halos tumabi sa`kin. Pawis na pawis kasi ang lola mo. Buti na lang talaga napaka-thoughtful ni mama (except `yong instance sa social media) at nagsuksok siya ng bimpo sa bag.

Medyo tuyo na ako upon entering the school. And what better way to welcome me than an orange cat playing with a crunchy leaf. Immediately, nag-squat ako sa tapat nito and my knee-jerk reaction was to pet it. I am a cat person, diary, as you could tell by the way the cat purred. Kung hindi lang allergic si mama baka ginawa ko ng cat shelter ang kwarto.

I could do this for a whole day but there’s this thing called class so `yon, iniwan ko na uli siya maglibang sa sarili niya. I entered the classroom in a round of laughter. ‘That’s weird,’ I thought. ‘Ano’ng nakakatawa?’

Then as if I asked it loudly, Mikai bantered, “Good morning, Ms. Oily Skin, I mean, Glass Skin.”

My mouth fell open. How did she know, hindi naman kami friends sa any soc med? But of course, I had a few from this class. Pinakita nila probably.

“Kaya love na love ko mama mo e!” Onin said, putting his legs on the arm rest as if extension ang classroom ng kanyang kwarto. “I-accept mo F.R. ko.”

“Ano, para maka-haha react ka sa photo? `Yoko nga!” “Wow. Famous ka?”

Inirapan ko lang siya and went to my seat at the back. I opened my soc med. The post blew up. Not in a good way. It’s only a matter of time bago ko makita screen shot nito sa pages na intended para magpatawa (but at the cost of the person’s humiliation). Dinelete ko ito along with all the other outtakes in my gallery.

Then the air blew me to Onin’s message request: Accept mo `ko.

I looked at him. He was still sitting pretty chill as if he knew I wouldn’t be able to resist and accept him, which I did noong nasa comfort na `ko ng kwarto.

Then I went down to have dinner, my mom saying sorry. I appreciated the gesture but it was also a wake-up call to me - to be more honest when posting something open for the world to see.

There was a replay of the flick I watched earlier. The girl with a gumamela flower found herself in the arms of her love interest, which was so warming.

Bumalik ako sa kwarto, removed it from the charger, then when I checked my soc med, I had lots of notif, if not more than the previous one I deleted. I tapped on the post I was tagged in. And what I felt when I watched the t.v. flick was just the same. Onin took a stolen shot of me while I was playing with the cat. The wind blew my hair so it added on the whole vibe.

His caption was ‘Presenting: The Duchenne smile.’

And because I had a vague clue about it, I searched what Duchenne smile meant. And it all boiled down to this: smiling with your eyes, authentic, unfiltered, real.

So many lessons for me today.