Director Cut

1968 Somewhere outside of London “If I were a man I would be cool, strong, confident … If I were a man I would probably feel more comfortable with myself … Why wasn't I born as a real man ? Does God hate me that much ? This sounds like a joke to me. This sounds like something planned against me. I am just ... useless really. A nobody. An outcast, just like my parents used to tell me ... I guess they were right after all.” That is what I used to tell myself every day, over and over again, hoping that somehow this routine would make me feel better, it would make me hate myself less… It did not help, of course. But there was someone who, indeed, did help me. A no-one who later became Hollywood's favourite star. A pale red-headed girl, covered with freckles, dark brown eyes, shaped just like an almond. A girl with the face of a fallen angel. That no-one was the one who made me love the way I thought, acted … She made me love the way I was. That girl was probably my first and only love.  But she was also my greatest misery.