Pregnant with the Bad Boy

46

“You are so beautiful.” He caressed my cheek and I smiled radiantly at his sincere eyes as I took his arm and we went back to the table, I would be strong. I repeated the sentence as I had done so many times before when we came to the table and they sat and waited for us as it seemed, I sat down again with his help and now we were here again, with his family.

None of them said anything about what had happened, and I gratefully accepted their silence.

“Welcome back.” Grant's father lifted the glass towards us and I laughed when I watched a waiter come running with the wine bottle to fill my glass and I put my hand on it and he filled Grant's instead where we were sitting and he kept my hand under the table again then I poured water into my table glass and his mother, who obviously did not like me, spoke into her own wine glass loud enough for me to hear her.

“my god she's not even old enough to drink, is she even of age?” She rolled her eyes again so it rattled around her earrings when she touched her head and I smiled at her, I know I should not have done it without asking Grant, but she annoyed me by just ignoring me when I laughed at what she had said and looked at her with a superior face.

-I'm twenty-one next week, but I do not drink because I’m pregnant. His mother's face was worth all that I revealed the secret I did not know if he wanted me to do when she spat the wine back into the glass and stared wildly at me as if I had come from space.

“I must congratulate you both.” The eldest brother raised his glass and I quickly looked at Grant's reaction as he grinned at me, and I smirked wicked back at our secret conversation as what I had said had started to rise around the table.

“Then I guess we'll toast to the newest Stone member.” His father raised his glass, and his brothers followed his example while his mother just stared at me angrily as if I had destroyed her son. I did not care, I watched Grant who amused raised his glass and drank only a little, I got a sting of bad conscience, they assumed it was his child and he did not correct them, I looked down shyly when he looked at me again, I knew he said he would stay and a small part of me hoped that maybe we could become a family no matter how ridiculous it sounded right now.

“I guess we'll get to see more of you then Jennifer.” his youngest brother blinked at me as I nodded, I was going nowhere.

His mother, who had had enough wine in her system after waiting for us, snorted as if she had never heard anything so ridiculous.

“Congratulations, in a couple of years you will be broke when she takes everything you have…” she cast contemptuous glances at me, and I would just answer as Grant's voice was angry now and I looked in surprise at his mother's frightened look that had not expected that he would indulge in it all.

“that's enough.” he didn’t scream but his voice was dark and determined as if he did not want to hear another word from her mouth as she was too drunk to perceive his tone and just looked at him as he was joking with her.

“Please Grant, Veronica would turn in her grave if she saw what a little slut you had here that you found in a bar of all places on earth!” She drank a little more and I looked amused at her anger, I was not even offended, she could think I was a slut how much she wanted, but Grant's eyes were black now and he growled the words for his drunk mother.

“Veronica is not here mother, but Jennifer is.” he stood up as his father waved his hand as if to calm everyone down, I was not surprised if this kind of fighting was common in the Stone family.

“Sit down Grant, we're celebrating right?” He looked quickly at his wife with the hard grey eyes, and she collapsed sourly when she did not get what she wanted.

He looked at me quickly and I nodded, I was not afraid of his mother, she said things I had said to myself for several months, no one had hated me worse than myself.

He sat down and took my hand again, this time on top so they could all see, his brothers were actually smiling now and his dad looked like I had not run away from his mother's emotional outburst, she did not look at me at all but looked sourly down at the plate, I looked at mine, where was the food promised? I looked up angrily when Grant laughed as he saw what I was thinking and waved at a waitress who nodded back and he said calmly.

“Maybe it's time for us to eat.” I nodded approvingly and smiled as he hugged my hand harder, and I enjoyed how it tingled in me every second he sat there and was just mine.

We ate in silence, I stuffed everything I could without caring his mother's sour looks as she poked at the food and examined every bite I took with a distancing look which made me eat even more than I needed.

“What do you do during the days Jennifer?” it was his youngest brother who was talking now, he seemed to be the one trying to reach out to me the most and I smiled kindly at his question.

“I am a student in the economics program.” I smiled at his raised eyebrows and his mother looked a little calmer, if only for a little.

“Was not the same as you went Kenneth?” He turned to the older brother who nodded and looked at me a little more kindly, I sighed inside, I should have understood that this was important to them.

“And your parents?” It was Grant's mother who said the words as I turned my gaze to her hopeful gaze and smiled crookedly at her wine glass.

“My dad is a small business owner in Oklahoma and my mom is a housewife.” I shrugged as if it was not a big deal and Grant laughed now, I saw that it glistened in his eyes over my cockiness, I felt like I was with Dylan, and it felt great.

“oh…” she fell silent again and her hope that I would be a secret millionaire's daughter died with my answer but she did not look angrily at me anymore which was good I guess.

“I hope you can forgive us, we thought you knew about Veronica…” his dad spoke kindly to me and I did not know if it was the fact that he thought I would have his grandchild or the wine that did it when I smiled safely into Grant's eyes then he got a streak of sadness in him again of her name that I wanted to do everything to get rid of.

“its fine, I was engaged before I meet Grant, we all have our luggage.” I put the glass down empty, and Grant just looked at me now as if he did not understand how I could just answer everything I felt even without being drunk like the rest of the table was working on getting.

“Understandable considering how beautiful you are…” his dad looked at me again so there that made me want to hide or hit him, I had not decided one.

“Not enough to be faithful to me apparently.” I smiled secretly as Grant took my hand and hugged it tightly in his, God what I adored him.

His father cleared his throat and now all four sons looked at me but a new admiration as I smiled kindly at the troubled older man who had had more side chicks than I had fingers.

“he's probably lying somewhere grumbling over what he lost.” It was Philip who said it and he laughed like it was a joke, I smiled faintly, none of them had seen Dylan the day I had thrown his mother's cross on him, I had been too crushed myself to see it then but he had died there, I still saw his face in front of me, I had been his whole world, his life, no matter what he thought he felt for Lorraine, it would surely have disappeared when I had done it.

I looked sad now and I shook myself, I did not want to be sad as it had just been a playful comment and nothing to sit down and cry over that your ex might be somewhere and regret what he had done.

Grant had seen me of course and he smiled consolingly at me and I smiled lovingly back, I did not want to think about Dylan now, not when I had Grant here and he was the absolute most wonderful man in the whole world and I was so in love with him so it was ridiculous when he picked up my hand and kissed it romantically in front of his family, they looked happy but it might be the wine that helped them relax enough to see him happy.

“When is the wedding then?” his middle brother Harry looked at us like it was not a strange question at all when I started laughing in surprise and Grant just looked at him like he was an i***t, I was not going to get engaged to anyone not even Grant for a long time after what I had done with Dylan.

“We are not in a hurry…” his voice was calm when I hugged his hand, they did not know we were at the beginning of our relationship, and I understood why when we were bounded against the world already.

“But you are going to have child? That should be the natural step?” He looked around as Kenneth the eldest brother raised his eyebrows, he agreed with him.

I was sweating now, I was looking at Grant, maybe it was just as well to tell the truth now that it was not his child and that I would never force him to marry me for whatever reason.

“Why? Jennifer is not done with school, and I see no reason for us to rush anything” He looked at me tenderly again and I exhaled, I had no problem saying as it was but I did not want them to think I was doing anything to trick Grant into wanting to be with me.

“But having a child was not fast?” His mother lay down again and I sighed, I thought they had given in on that front, but they continued, I began to understand what he meant by them being difficult to deal with.

“Actually… “I did not have time to say anymore when Grant took over my sentence and looked deeply at me when I sat confused when he answered as he knew I would say it was not his.

“it's just what happens sometimes.” He was grinning now, and his brothers were looking at him with male humour and I rolled my eyes, but I felt a twinge in me that I was not allowed to tell the truth, was it so shameful that I was not pregnant with him? Maybe I could ever tell them? I looked at him thoughtfully as he joked with his brothers and it made me happy after all to see him so happy, I just wanted to make him happy.

His mother sighed at their behaviour and drank more wine, I just sat quietly now, I did not know what he was doing, he had more or less declared that it was his child, I had been vague to f**k around with his mom, but he wanted it? did he want to be the father? I looked around anxiously and his father just nodded to me as if I would understand when I nodded back.

I sat quietly for a while, me and his mother were the only ones who were when the men talked louder and louder for every minute around the table. I'd had enough.

“Grant, can I talk to you?” I smiled at him as he laughed, looked up at me and probably got a lump in his throat from the seriousness of my eyes.

“Someone’s in trouble…” his brothers were loud now after they were drunk enough, and I think Grant was too when his eyes were shiny and I had not seen how much he had drinking when I was busy worrying.

He nodded and waved to his brothers who made noises of various kinds when I pulled him out again, this time I went into the toilet and pulled him along, I hoped no one had seen us as he just smiled drunk where he stood against the sink and I sighed as I locked the door behind me.

“What the hell are you doing?” I looked angrily into his glazed eyes, yep he was drunk at this point as he just smiled wider and tried to pull me close to him and I snuck out of his grip and stared angrily at him again.

“Stop it, answer instead why you do not want your family to find out that it is not you who is the father?” I had my arms crossed and he laughed a low rumbling laughter at me as he thought I was the cutest thing in the world and imitated me.

“Why? I like you; you like me, I see no point in telling you about the bastard who was just lucky enough to get you knocked up.” I gritted my teeth, he was a bastard when he was drunk obviously when he just looked at me as he told me the truth.

“that bastard is the father, and one day he will come back…” I did not have time to say clearly when Grant was pissed and leaned dangerously back against the bathroom door and looked at me seriously.

“Will he? How do you know that? you have not even been able to find him? does he even deserve to know about it? I stared into his eyes, they were not warm anymore just angry when I sighed, this is not the conversation I did not thought I would have this afternoon.

“Have anyone told you you're mean when you're drunk?” I sat down on the toilet and looked at him where he stood, he hated Dylan, I already knew about it but it felt like after I admitted that I had feelings for him it had gotten a thousand times worse.

“Am I mean or just telling you what you don’t want to hear from me, the truth? His voice was cold, and I looked down at the frustration that ran through me, he was probably right, maybe Dylan would never come back but a part of me would always hope so as long as I lived.

“You are probably right… but it does not change anything right?” I looked at him meaningfully and he sighed and sat down slightly wobbly in front of me squatting and taking my hands, he smelled strongly of the wine, and I looked amused at the man who declared that he did not get drunk on three wine glasses trying to focus his gaze in front of me.

“Why do you think I do not want to say that? I want you Jennifer, and the baby.” He said everything like it was that simple and I took in the spirit of what he had said, how drunk was he really?

“Grant… I am not your wife, and this child will never be able to replace…” I stopped when his eyes were black now and I was completely silent. It was totally wrong whatever I said.

“no, you are not her Jennifer…” he sat down on the floor and I regretted every word I said to him about it when I tried to touch his leg and before he pulled it off quickly so I almost got a lump in the throat of to see him not wanting me to touch him.

“Sorry…” I whispered now and he looked at me with his big warm eyes sadly where he sat down in front of me.

“You think I just want to be with you because you're pregnant or what?” He was spotless as usual when I nodded reluctantly, and he sighed again as if he could not believe that I was as stupid as I thought.

“I liked you already the first time, you were not pregnant then, were you?” his voice was amused now, and I shook my head quickly, but I could just as easily have been the one I was doing with Dylan.

“I liked you from the beginning even though you where you were shy and nervous after him but I was okay with that, then when you told me you were going to have a child with him I did not know what to do, I mean… I was sure got feelings for you already …” he smiled at me now defeated and I could not help but stroke my thumb on his arm after I reached out again for him and this time, he had let me touch him.

“I had a hell of a time after Veronica died, she was my life and when she disappeared, I wanted to die with her…” he looked away ashamed as if I did not know how it felt and I just smiled sadly when he looked up at me again.

“I understand…” I caressed his arm now and he took it with his own, I liked more this version of drunk Grant when he told the truth and not just tried to be mean, just like Dylan always was when he was crowded.

“I want you, everything with you, not just the strong Jennifer who can make my dad lose his speech, which I'm still impressed by.” He smiled proudly at me as he continued.

“I want you when you are the weakest, when you cry because you do not know what you want or because you think I do not want you anymore.” I sat dumb and my heart beat so hard that it hurt in my chest, it was probably the most romantic I have ever heard my whole life.

“you asked me to stay if you remember, when you said you still love him.” His voice was weak now and I realized he was right, I had done it, I asked everything of him but did not want to give anything back.

“I did …” my voice was shaky, I did not understand that he said all this to me, we had not known each other for so long and he wanted to be with me, just as I wanted to be with him.

“So why would I just want you and not the baby? I want to be with you, why should you go around waiting for someone who will never come back when I'm here and say I want to be there, I can be the father if you let me?” I was crying now, he said all the things I should want to hear but part of me was still fighting for Dylan, the side that still loved him.

“I do not know… it is difficult Grant, you must understand that you have had your years to get over her, I still remember everything as it was yesterday, part of me hope he comes back no matter how stupid it sounds…” I was ashamed now when he nodded defeated at my answer and I cried more now when he looked up at me again, he did not feel drunk anymore when his eyes were clear again.

“I never got over her Jennifer, do not believe it, I still love her…” I blinked at his words; he had said the same thing I had said to him so why did it hurt so damn when he said them? I had no right to be hurt.

“but I have love for you too, another love that gets stronger every day I'm with you…” I sobbed loudly, he understood how it felt, even though Dylan was alive, and it was not at all the same with miles between him with his wife's death, it seemed that he understood because he went through when he himself seemed to do it.

“Grant…” I did not know what to say, he had said everything he had to say and it was I who could not put into words what I felt before us or that he wanted to be the father of the child.

“Don’t say anything, not yet. He got up right now and I looked at him sadly as he brushed off and was about to go out when I grabbed his leg and held him back.

Be strong. I thought the sentence again.

“okay.” I looked carefully up at his questioned face as I stood up and just looked at him faintly and honestly.

“I say okay, you want to be there for me and the baby.” I smiled when his face got warm and I laughed when he kissed me several times over the face and on the mouth, I had promised myself before fighting against myself and Dylan, I was going to allow myself to trust that he wanted to be there and stay when I needed him when he said he wanted to be.

“thank you Jennifer…” he looked happier what I saw him before since I first met him, I laughed again that he pulled me next to him and kissed me again, he tasted wine and I let my tongue touch his as he smiled confidently against me , we stood for a while like a couple of teenagers and made out against the bathroom door before he let me go and I actually blushed when he opened the door and we went out, I had done much worse things but for some reason what we did felt so intimate and close that I did not want anyone else to share the moment we had.