Pregnant with the Bad Boy

40

I had made up my mind, I knew what I was going to do now.

I stood breathing in and out in front of the apartment building in town where I had found her address.

Lorraine.

It crept up on me, I didn't want to see her, I didn't want to hear her or most of all I didn't want to beg her to tell me where Dylan was, but I owed it, not for my sake, not for his sake, but for the baby's sake.

I was sweating as I opened the door and walked in, she lived at the top of course. I sighed and walked slowly up the long stairs, I was wearing a big sweater, I didn't want her to see even a hint of my pregnancy even it wasn't visible at all.

I stopped in front of the brown door with her name on it, I hoped she was home, but she wasn't as I took another deep breath and rang the bell.

I heard someone moving on the other side and I unconsciously pulled back as the blonde woman opened the door, she had no make-up on and was wearing a tank top and yoga pants, she looked unashamedly good in them.

She looked at me for a few seconds like she didn't understand who I was before she got an annoyed look on her pretty face.

“What the hell do you want?” She was already angry, and I sighed, I didn't expect anything better from her.

“Lorraine.” I said her name politely as she just sneered at me.

“Go away, Jennifer.” She was about to close the door when I put my foot in it and she looked at me as if she didn't think I had the guts to do such a thing to her.

“Where's Dylan?” I said the sentence sharply, if anyone knew where he was it would be her.

Lorraine looked angry at first, but then put a wicked smile on her face as if she found my stress of looking for him amusing.

“I don't know.” She smiled now and I felt the anger start to take hold of me, she knew damn well, she was the one who had made out with him! I clenched my jaws and glared angrily at her stupid face.

“You know damn well.” She didn't care that I was angry as she just laughed at my words as she waved her hair and looked just as superior as in church.

“Even if I knew, why would I tell you? Not after the way you treated him.” She looked at me accusingly as I was losing all the sense, I had left in me, how I had treated him?! How dare she accuse me of being the one who abused him.

“Shut up Lorraine, you don't know a damn thing about us.” I wanted to kill her, the f*****g b***h, I knew it would have been futile to come here but I still had to try.

She just smiled wider now, so it rang in her bright blue eyes that just looked at me with disgust and contempt.

“Why wouldn’t I know? Who do you think he was talking to all the time? My eyes widened as I realized that maybe she was right, or was she lying again like that time at the parking lot?

“You're lying.” I said the words icily as she laughed again this time it was pitiful as if I hadn't known at all what was going on.

“he's told me everything honey, I've known Dylan for years and I know how he works...” I felt my face getting redder every second she spoke, I prayed she was lying because anything else would crush me again.

“He talked to me every day about you... I f****d him two days before he met you.” I gasped at her sharp words, she was telling the truth, I could see it in her angry eyes, she was still in love with him, because that's exactly what I looked like when he came into my head.

I didn't respond to her revelation, I should have known, of course he had, he was Dylan Hopper after all, and I had assumed he hadn't slept with anyone else for quite a while just because I hadn't.

I had lost my breath for a few seconds, so he had told me everything the damn liar, once I got hold of him, I would strangle his beautiful face until it was blue.

I still couldn't respond to her revelation, what could I say about it all, I had been humiliated so many times it didn't hurt as much as it would have as her face changed and she looked more sad than angry at me.

“He was mine and you took him away from me!” I stared blankly at her face that had been tormented, I just blinked at her sudden outburst of emotion, she thought it was my fault that he was gone, I laughed to myself without knowing why as she looked at me with the tears that had fallen down her pretty face.

“But he was mine when you took him from me.” I looked at her hurt and she must have seen my genuine despair and angrily pulled away her own tears as I just looked at her with my sad face.

“I don't know where he is...” she said the words abandonedly as if she was trying to get hold of him too, I suddenly felt a pang of pity for her, she and I were not so different after all, we loved the same man, and had left us both.

“He refused to talk to me after what had happened in the parking lot...even when I released him from custody, he wouldn't even look at me...” she looked like she was going to cry again as I nodded resignedly, he was cold when he wanted to be.

“For what it's worth, Lorraine, I think he loves you, too.” I said the words comfortingly, I don't know how we had ended up like this... we were both abandoned by him.

She just groaned at me like I had said the most stupid thing in the world to her as I smiled now and was about to turn to leave and she sighed loudly and loudly so it echoed throughout the stairs.

“If he... gets in touch... I'll let you know...” She didn't look at me as I just nodded at her gratefully and walked down the stairs without saying goodbye and I heard her door close with a bang behind me, that hadn't gone as I had planned, I was almost glad to talk to her, even though she had said things that cut me to the core.

I was out on the street again, I was back to square once again, Dylan hadn't been kidding when he'd disappeared off the face of the earth, I'd called his old job, had looked around his old apartment but I hadn't gone up to it because I didn't have the strength in me to even walk up the old steps up where I'd lost myself in his love.

The mobile vibrated, it was Grant, I smiled expectantly -he knew what I was doing and had offered to help but I wanted to be on my own, if Dylan was here somewhere the last thing I needed was to be seen together, I know Dylan would remember him from the bar.

We hadn't seen each other since all was revealed but we had written back and forth over the past few days and I was about to answer when I saw him calling, I jumped in surprise as my heart started to beat faster, I wanted so much to hear his voice.

“Grant!” I said his name way too quickly so I heard his amused laughter that I could hardly wait to talk to him.

“Jennifer! How's the search going?” He sounded calm but I knew he didn't really want me to find Dylan and I understood why, he didn't want to see the man who in his mind destroyed me come back into my life.

“Bad...” I turned around bored and looked around, I really didn't know what to do now? A wanted notice? But he was just gone, not disappeared?

“Come to the mall and I'll buy you lunch.” I sighed, I didn't know if he wanted me to eat or if it was because he wanted to see me, maybe both.

“It's only ten past eleven...” I quickly looked at the clock as he laughed at my wondering voice.

“Observant as ever my dear, come to the store and you can wait here while I finish up.” I felt my heart take a leap at his casual response, he wanted me to be with him in public, in front of his colleagues. I was warmed by just the thought that he had no problem being seen with me in public as the gossip was still going on about what had happened after that day.

“I have to wait for the bus, but I'll be there as soon as I can.” I smiled now and he sounded happy too on the other side as we said goodbye and I walked slowly to the bus stop, I missed being able to drive myself, I missed driving Dylan's truck too if I was being honest, his one true love. I smiled sadly to myself as I realised that maybe it was truer than I had wanted to believe.

The bus was almost empty to my relief, I still didn't like large crowds of people even though it was getting better day by day, I sat down and looked at my phone, why had Dylan turned off all contact with the outside world? I felt that I was actually worried about him as stupid as it sounded, he had no one but his sister that he didn't want to have contact with, and our last meeting had been ...gruelling for both of us to say the least. I sighed and searched with my hand to my throat not to feel anything there, I really missed that cross, but it was something more that I missed Dylan as it had been proof that he loved me, I wondered if another girl was wearing it for him now? My jealousy came out of nowhere and I gritted my teeth in annoyance before I realised how ridiculous I was being as I sat there being jealous of a girl who maybe didn't exist and a man, I didn't want to be with anymore...or so I hoped.

I tried to fight off the stupid thoughts when I saw the gallery, Dylan was gone and Grant was here, and he was the one left with me even though everyone knew I had been with Dylan just a few months ago, it couldn't be easy for him.

I got off the bus and walked quickly across the car park and stopped from my heavy breathing, it was ridiculous how quickly I had gotten so out of shape, I thought it was just towards the end, or maybe I had been sitting in my room crying too much to notice what a lousy shape I was in.

It was quiet inside the mall and I stayed away from people as much as I could, I got the impression that they were looking at me though it probably didn't even think once more of me after they saw me when I finally saw the shop where I knew Grant would be, I hurried on the steps and it sang in my chest as I stepped into the rather quiet store, of course, it was a Wednesday in the middle of the week, it felt funny that he was here considering he didn't have to, he could do whatever he wanted and wherever he wanted, yet here he was outside of Perryville of all places on earth, but I was grateful for that as I found him again.

“Do you need some help, miss?” A young girl almost the same age as me came up and smiled a dazzling smile at me, she was pretty and I looked at her name tag, Rebecka. I felt the jealousy bubbling up again, but this time it was for Grant, I had never seen her here before, she was pretty and had a nice smile with kind eyes, I didn't like her.

“I'm looking for Grant, Stone.” I smiled as much as I could without showing my completely unreasonable emotions to the totally innocent stranger who smiled wider at me and said in a professional voice.

“If it's complaints you have, we have a desk for that miss, even returns, if you don't insist that I call him up?” She looked at me with a look that I had trouble interpreting, why would I want to complain, and why would I want to return something because I asked for him?

“I have no complaints?” We looked at each other in confusion as she continued to smile and I sighed, I could just walk around here or maybe sit outside if it was easier that way.

-You can go Rebecka, I'm here now. He came walking, he was so handsome in his sales clothes too, with his tidy appearance, everything from his hair to his shoes were perfect, I looked him up and down as she flicked her eyes quickly between them and blushed at his words.

“Yes, Mr Stone.” She was red as she left and I looked after her in confusion, was it something I had said? He came up to me, close, too close for us to look like a normal customer and salesman conversation.

-Did I see something wrong? I briefly looked at her back again as he laughed at me as if he knew something I hadn't realised.

“she's just insecure... she's new here and I think she thinks I'm handsome.” He laughed at my look of amazement as I turned around jealously, of course, I knew it.

“Jennifer. Calm down.” He pulled me closer, so I was close enough to lean in and kiss him, I bit my lip to let go when he saw me and released me again with a secretive look.

“I'm sorry I'm being silly...” I looked up at his understanding eyes, I didn't know how but he was always one step ahead of me in my mind, I didn't know if it was because he was older, maybe he had seen women like me before.

“I don't know, maybe I like it...” he took my hand and stroked it with his thumb like he always did and there were jolts going through me every time he touched me.

“That I'm incurably jealous? “I smiled defiantly at his charming smile as he laughed at my defiant answer and caressed my cheek, it felt creepy with such an intimate gesture so openly where anyone could see it and I shyly turned my gaze down at his touch.

He saw that I was embarrassed and pulled my hand away as if it hadn't been a de-icing, I felt guilty, it wasn't him, I wanted him to touch me, but I wasn't so sure about public displays of affection after Dylan had cheated half an hour after the whole world had heard that we were getting married.

“I'm sorry...” I looked up at him, he looked like it was no big deal, but I didn't want him to think it was him as I looked searchingly into his beautiful eyes.

“It's not you...” I sighed, I hated that I was so damn weird after everything that had happened.

“I find it hard to do anything openly since he left me... embarrassed me...” I looked worriedly at his face, he looked a bit annoyed now and I felt stupid having said everything.

He said nothing this time as I watched nervously as his eyes shifted into a darker tone and I wrapped my hands uncertainly around the bag, what did I expect, I kept pushing him away, I kept talking about Dylan it seemed, of course he got mad at me.

“I don't want you to be angry with me.” I looked pleadingly at his averted gaze as he winked and looked at me in surprise as he always did when I said something he hadn't expected.

“I'm not mad at you.” He smiled faintly and I exhaled at his words as he stood with his arms folded, looking resignedly at me.

“I'm angry with him.” He looked up at me with eyes that were black now and I shuddered at his anger, they looked just like Dylan's did, except he looked like that almost all the time.

“I...” I didn't say anything else; I didn't really want to talk about Dylan, I just wanted to talk to him about us and our future.

“The things he did to you Jennifer are not okay, you understand that right?” His voice was sharp now as I nodded quickly, I had understood it but I didn't know if I wanted to have this conversation in public.

“I know.” I looked annoyed into his scrutinizing gaze, he didn't know what it was like to be completely devoted to someone who only used you for his own benefit.

He saw that I didn't want to talk about it anymore and slowly let out the air he had been holding in, I tried to shake off my anger with what good did it do to argue about something that couldn't be changed anyway? I was tired of arguing as it was the only thing I had done with Dylan.

“ I’m sorry….” He said the word briefly as if it was hard for him to say it, I actually burst out laughing at how cute he sounded as he stood there and had actually backed down on something that upset him.

-I don't want to argue... I smiled at him now as he nodded in agreement and I was pleased when he turned and shouted to someone on the floor he was leaving and took my hand and we walked out with me confused, could he just leave? Wouldn't they be mad at him for just leaving even though his family owned the store?

“Jennifer, I'm not just an employee, I'm the boss of the place.” His voice was amused as I blinked at him, of course he was, I had been foolish enough to think he was like one of the regular employees.

he smiled cryptically at me again as we walked out towards the car park, I looked nervously at the people around me as they glanced at us, it still felt safer to have him here by my side than to walk alone.

We had come out to the parking lot when I looked for his grey luxury car without finding it when he walked towards a dark blue SUV that he quickly unlocked, I looked at him sceptically, did he have another car? it looked new too, his eyes twinkled as I opened the door and got into the passenger seat and he sat down and I looked at his profile where he sat smiling as if he didn't think it was strange that he had another brand new car.

“Do you really need two cars?” I smiled mischievously as he shrugged and started before looking at me.

“No, but I want two.” I shuddered at his confident answer, this car was definitely more spacious than the sports car as I stretched my legs and still couldn't reach the floor.

“I like this one better.” I laughed as his smile widened and we drove out into the car park, I leaned back in the comfy seat, it beat the bus every time anyway.

“I should get a car too; I haven't had one since I crashed my last one.” I watched calmly as his eyes widened a little at what I'd said.

“Jennifer why haven't you said anything, did you get hurt, And the baby?!” He looked at me worriedly as I realised, he didn't know it had happened before I'd even been pregnant.

“That was before I got pregnant.” I looked down now, damn it. I didn't want to tell him all about why I'd crashed and that it had to do with Dylan.

He immediately looked more relieved, and I saw warmly his reaction, what a wonderful man he was who had become worried about me and the child who was not even his.

“God, you really scared me there.” He was smiling now even though he looked shaky, and I just looked at him fondly, he was simply amazing.

“I'm sorry, I should say that I haven't had a car for a long time now.” I laughed again and he immediately looked lighter at my response as we drove on the highway, I guessed he wasn't going to stop in Perryville.

“Where are we going?” I looked around hopefully and he just glared at me with a mean look that made him look sly.

“Back to my place.” my stomach turned cold at his words, I hadn't been there since we had s*x and I still felt guilty for being so on and then backing off, that he put up with me was unbelievable.

“We are not going to have sex.” He looked amused at how I had been caught with my thoughts and he laughed lowly at my insecurity, had he thought of the same thing?

“I'd like that... later...” I looked at him meaningfully as he gulped hard, and his eyes gleamed at him and I laughed at his reaction.

“You are a daring woman Jennifer...” he smiled and took my hand which I quickly intertwined my fingers in, it didn't feel weird anymore.

“we'll have time for that too, when you feel ready.” I smiled happily at his understanding words, I hoped it wouldn't take that long because I wanted to feel him against me again.

“Has anyone ever told you that you're perfect?” I joined in his laughter as he shook his head like I was crazy and turned off the driveway towards the city centre and I felt a bit familiar, I hadn't been here much, but I had seen some of the city since the last time I was here with him.

“Women over the years have called me many things but never perfect.” His voice sounded both amused and pleased as I swallowed looking at him, I knew he had had others, and I would stop being as naive as I had been with Dylan, of course he had had other women, he was handsome, rich and above all charming.

“I'm glad I'm the first.” I smiled and squeezed his hand as he just looked at me and there was a twinkle in his eye for a few seconds as we stopped in front of a garage door and he quickly punched in a code and drove in, I was enjoying where I sat in the lighted basement, and he glanced at me occasionally as if he was pleased, I was there at his side.

He stopped further away, and we got out, I gaped at all the luxury cars of different models and makes that were here, I looked at him in amazement, no it couldn't all be his? Or? I must have looked shocked as he took my hand and smiled meaningfully at me.

“I never said I only had two, did I?” He laughed again as we started to walk away towards a lift further away, I was still shaken by the cars, how rich was he really!?

I said nothing more about it but laughed inside, he seemed to have a passion and it had turned out to be engines, so he was like any other man. I would have rolled my eyes if it wasn't for him looking at me with his big warm eyes and I smiled back as the lift went up and I was back again with him.

He made a quick gesture for me to go first, and I walked through the lift doors and out into the marbled hall, it felt good to be here, I had thought it would feel strange, but I felt at ease being so high up that no one could reach me and only he was here with me.

“Let me help you.” He took off my coat and I smiled gratefully as he hung it up and I decided to take off my boots, my feet were sore from all the walking and he looked amused at my white socks with rainbow unicorns on them, they were Mandy's that I had taken as I hadn't had the heart to look for a pair of my own.

He hid a smile and took my hand again and led me inside to the large common room and I sat down at the large stone marbled island he had, he stood on the other side and we looked sweetly at each other.

“so, unicorns? I thought you were more of a girl who liked cute cats on her socks.” He smiled amusedly as I blushed at his comment, I looked completely different from last time when I had been dressed up and made up, now I was sitting here with my hair behind my ears wearing a big thick knitted jumper in blue and a pair of long trousers in black with my stolen socks and he didn't seem to think I was one bit less beautiful for it.

“It's my sister's...” I rolled my eyes but laughed as he took my hand and stroked it quickly before letting go and turning to the fridge, I felt guilty again, I had eaten here without permission, you'd think I wasn't raised right.

“so, what do you like?” He looked around at me as I shrugged, I ate almost everything, the only thing I didn't want was cereal.

most of it...” I looked at him furtively as he looked at me challengingly for a few seconds before pulling out two wrapped packages of paper and placing them in front of me as it thudded to a halt.

“Steak.” He smiled again when I looked at the big pieces of meat, they looked expensive and I sighed, he really didn't spare any expanse did he.

“Better than cereal...” I muttered as he turned on the gas to the stove and laughed like he'd heard me and I admired the way he moved around the kitchen, was there nothing he couldn't do?

“I don't know how you want the meat Jennifer, but I read that it should be well done if you are pregnant.” He looked at me quickly as I looked back at him, what had he just said to me? Even I didn't know about such things yet.

He looked at my surprised expression and laid out another pan which he banged on before taking out a chopping board and quickly chopping various vegetables in front of me which he pulled into the pan next to me, I looked hungrily at all that was in front of me, and he looked pleased then looked up happily at his gentle face.

He laid everything out on two plates and served it all up before he pushed one over for me and stood where he was with a fork in his hand and slowly put a piece of meat in his mouth as I slowly cut my own meat and followed his example, it tasted fantastic.

I chewed as slowly as I could, and he smiled at me as I made a pleasurable face and took another bite.

We ate in silence, just looking at each other longingly, I would lie if I didn't want to touch him, feel his mouth against me and ... I stopped myself there and shivered as he noticed and took my plate as I had suddenly finished eating without me noticing and put it in the big dishwasher that was on the other side.

“Now what?” I looked at him innocently as he laughed at my playful manner, I reached out to him as he put his arms around me and looked so surely into my eyes.

“Now… we do nothing.”