To Have & To Hold (COMPLETED)

4

    Hinatid ako ni Utt sa tapat ng bahay. Hinintay niya akong makapasok sa loob ng gate, bago umalis ang kanyang sasakyan.

    I thought it was gentlemanly of him to do that, at napangiti ako.

    Goodness! Why do I have to see those small, sweet things he does? I thought as I averted my eyes to the heavens. 

    I just don't understand myself anymore. Buong buhay ko, sunud sunuran ako kay Angela dahil may utang na loob ako sa kanilang pamilya. Pero nang suwayin ko ito, parang nagkaroon ng laya ang isip at puso ko na umakto na para sa sarili ko naman. Hindi parating patungkol kay Angela.

    I guess I took my loyalty to heart with Angela because of gratitude. But when I fell in love with Gerard, my loyalty went to him, and I did the unthinkable. I defied Angela. It was scary because I changed. I went out of my comfort zone, which was to just always follow Angela. Most of all, nagpakatotoo ako. Sinabi ko kay Gerard ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. I had the effing guts to tell him my feelings. At ngayon, narito ako sa opisina ni Utt Sanders bilang Executive Assistant niya.

    Siguro mas okay na ang ganito. Malaya na ako kay Angela, at malayo na ako kay Gerard. Kailangan ko na lamang kausapin si Angela upang makipag-ayos dahil iba si Angela. Vindictive at revengeful siya. Hindi siya tumitigil hangga't hindi siya nakakaganti sa tuwing may kakalaban sa kaniya. I need to make amends with her or she would find a way to try to hurt me. Ayokong isipin na ang naganap na pamamaril sa Palawan ay gawa ni Angela, pero hindi ko rin ma-take for granted na posibleng siya nga iyon. At kung siya nga ang nag-utos nun, ang motibo ba niya at takutin ako dahil kinakalaban ko siya, o talagang ipapatay ako. The latter hurt me the most.

    Kaya niya akong ipapatay? Ako? Ako na naging loyal sa kaniya simula pagkabata namin? Hindi ako makapaniwala, pero a part of me was saying that it was possible.

    Mabuti na lamang ang sinalo ako ni Utt. May trabaho na ako kaagad, at binigyan pa ako ng pera pang budget sa isang buwan, o bago ako sumweldo. Hindi pa man naming napag-uusapan kung magkano ang aking suweldo, sapat na sa akin na magtiwalang hindi naman siguro niya akong bibigyan ng mababang suweldo.

    Pero habang binabasa ko ang mga files na nasa table ng naka-leave na secretary ni Utt ay napansin ko ang mga sulat ng mga nagsitalbugang checke ng kumpanya. Browsing thru some of the documents in the table, it seemed like the company was in financial trouble. Binalutan ako ng habag para kay Utt. May dinadala pala itong problema.

    I sighed as I thought of his situation, when I noticed a beaufiul woman wearing a White dress, and bouquet of flowers stepped out of the elevator. She walked towards the glass room where I was. Her face was undoubtedly pretty like a China doll. Kung buntis nga lang ako, gusto kong paglihihan ang maganda niyang mukha.

    I stood up, and smiled as I welcomed her in. She was with an old man wearing a barong Tagalog.

    "Good morning, Ma'am." I greeted. "Can I help you?"

    "I'm looking for my groom." She said looking around the place.

    "Your groom?" I thought right there and there that she was a loony and I felt pity. Sayang siya. Pero bilang experienced Executive Assistant, alam kong dapat ay gawan ko na ng paraan na maialis siya sa CEO's office bago pa dumating ang boss ko.

    "Uhm, Ma'am, I think your groom is not here. Maybe he's already waiting for you at the altar?" I tried to say.

    "Excuse me, Miss, but where is Utt?" tanong ng matandang lalaki na naka-barong.

    "Mr. Sanders is not yet here," I answered although I was unsure why he was asking.

    Was Utt the groom that the loony woman was referring to? Utt didn't say anything about being engaged. But, in the first place, why would he even tell me, right? As if he owes me an explanation. I thought, but I still felt he should have told me. Ewan ko!

    "Who are you, anyway?" the woman in white dress asked arrogantly. Nakaramdam ako ng angas sa babaeng kausap ko. Hindi ko napansin kanina pero sinusukat pala ako ng tingin ng babaeng ito. Nakakapanlinlang kasi ang maamo niyang mukha. She suddenly reminded me of Angela. Napaisip tuloy ako kung kapareho nito si Angela. Mapanlinlang ang maamong mukha pero may kakayahan na gumawa ng masama.

    "I'm Katniss Delano, Ma'am. I'm Mr. Sanders' assistant." I politely replied as she stared at me from head to foot. Mabuti na lamang at maayos ang suot ko. I never go out of my house na hindi nakaayos. I trained myself to look professional in all my dealings because that's what I banked on as a campaign manager. I should always look confident, and professional.

    "Gusto pala ni Utt na magaganda ang secretary niya, Attorney Madrigal?" she looked at me, and made a quick sideglance towards the old man.

    "His former secretary wasn't as gorgeous as Ms. Delano. Pardon the pun though." Attorney Madrigal candidly smiled at me.

    "I'll... just take it as a compliment." I bowed my head slightly to the side, as I felt my cheeks turned red.

    "Yes," irap ng babae. "And that will be the last compliment you will receive here because I'm firing you." Anito.

    "Firing who?" I heard my hero's voice.

    Wait! What? Utt? My hero? What the eff am I thinking? I thought.

    Utt stepped inside the glass room wearing an Armani suit. I knew it immediately because that was part of my job before as a campaign and image manager. I took care even what my client or boss wore.

    Ngunit, hindi iyon ang nagpa-impress sa akin at nakakuha ng atensyon ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil clean shaven na siya. Mahaba pa rin naman ang kanyang buhok, pero nakatali na ito. He looked quite dapper. Actually, ang guwapo niya! He was drop-dead gorgeous that I all too suddenly wondered why I didn't notice it before? Or I guess it was my loyalty to Gerard that did not allow me to see how gorgeous this man is!

    Utt went close to me, and gently gripped me to his side. "Sweetheart, are these people bothering you?" he said as he glared at the woman and Attorney Madrigal.

    "Utt, I mean, Sir Utt," I said turning red as I blinked and got distracted when I whiffed his sexy perfume that complimented his look.

    Whatever that perfume was, all men should use it because it would absolutely make women's panties wet and dripping.

    Goodness! Now, I'm exaggerating. But is there another way of describing this feeling? Ugh! What am I feeling in the first place? Para akong naglilihing pusa na biglang nahuhumaling sa lalaking wala ng balbas! Hanuba?

    "Sweetheart, diba't sinabi ko sa'yo na ayokong makausap kahit sino sa mga Romualdez?" he said, with his hand wrapped around my waist.

    "Ha?" halos papiyok na boses kong sabi sa confusion. Ano bang pinagsasabi nitong si Utt?

    "Attorney Madrigal?" baling ni Utt sa matandang lalaki. "Celine? To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" he coldly asked.

    I watched as that Celine stared at me as if she was going to make me eat her flowers and choke to death, then turned to Utt with sweetness in her voice.

    "Oh, Utt...huwag ka na maging pormal sa'ken dahil pamilya naman tayo. I will cut the chase and tell you why I'm here." She said placing her hands on his shoulder. "Utt Romualdez, Dad gave us the blessing to get married."

    Nakita ko ang pagkunot ng noo ni Utt, at nagulat ako sa pagpatong niya ng kamay sa balikat ko. Mas lalo niya akong pinalapit sa kaniya, na halos ipangharang na nga niya ako sa pagitan nila ni Celine.

    "That's disgusting." He churned up.

    I knew from the look on Celine's face that she felt indignant. I saw her face turned red and slapped me.

    "What the f*ck, Celine!" Galit na inilayo ako ni Utt kay Celine na balak pa yata akong sabunutan. "Touch her again, Celine, and I'll see you in court." He threatened.

    "Why are you defending her? I'm your fiancee!" She stompped her feet.

    "Of course, not! She's my fiancee!" Galit niyang sagot.

    Ako ba ang tinutukoy niyang fiancee?

    "Fiancee?" lalo akong naguluhan habang sinusubukan i-compose ang sarili ko sa pagsampal ni Celine, at sa mabilis na pag-usod sa akin ni Utt palayo kay Celine.

    "Isusumbong kita kay Dad!" She shouted, fuming mad. She stomped out of the glass room and walked towards the elevator.

    "Attorney Madrigal, ano bang pinagsasabi ni Celine?" galit na tanong ni Utt.

    "Naiinip na si Don Emilio kaya si Celine ang napisil niyang pakasalan mo. Tutal ay hindi naman kayo totoong magkadugo dahil anak ito ni Celia sa ibang lalaki bago pa sila nagsama ni Don Emilio. Gusto din kasi Ni Don Emilio na kapag ipamana niya sa'yo ang kanyang ari-arian ay pati sina Dona Celia at Celine ay mapangalaagaan mo."

    "What? I didn't even agree yet to anything!" He angrily answered, habang ako naman ay nakatayo pa din doon, at hindi makaalis sa puwesto ko dahil nakahawak pa rin si Utt sa bewang ko. Parang ginagawa niya akong stress ball dahil ang higpit ng hawak niya sa bewang ko na bawat galaw niya ay nasasama ako sa kanya. Sumasakit na nga ang bewang ko sa higpit ng hawak niya. Duon niya yata binubuhos ang gigil niya sa sitwasyon.

    "Calm down, Utt. Hindi kasi alam ni Don Emilio na nakapili ka na pala ng mapapangasawa mo. I'm sure matutuwa si Don Emilio na malaman na may nobya ka na pala. Dahil base private research na ipasagawa ni Don Emilio, wala kang nobya, at nahuhumaling ka sa isang babaeng may asawa na..." I watched as Attorney Madrigal carefully said those words, and I felt he was trying to get something out of Utt's emotion.

    "I don't care what he feels!" Galit niyang sagot. "And how dare he hire a private investigator! Kung naging mabuti siyang lolo, ako pa mismo ang magpapaalam sa kanya kung ano ang nangyayari sa buhay ko!"

    "Utt, ang lolo mo ay matanda na. Gusto niyang malaman kung ano ang nangyayari sa'yo. He wants to build a closer relationship with you before the time comes. Gusto niyang masigurado na ang kaisa-isa niyang apo ang magmamana ng lahat ng ari-arian niya, at pangagalaga sa mga tao. Hindi man naging mabuting ama si Don Emilio sa iyong Dad, pero naging mabuting amo at haciendero ang iyong lolo. Naging mahigpit lamang siya sa iyong ama, dahil maraming tao ang umaasa sa iyong lolo. Sana naman ay pagbigyan mo na si Don Emilio." Malumanay na sabi ni Attorney Madrigal.

    "Kung pagbibigyan ko siya, dahil sa pera yun, at hindi dahil gusto ko makipag-ayos sa kanya." Matabang na sagot ni Utt, na ikinagulat ko. He seemed so heartless and spiteful as he said it, that it made me scared of him. Parang puno siya ng galit sa kanyang lolo.

    "At naiintindihan iyon ng lolo mo. He is willing to give all your inheritance to you, but with one condition."

    "I know, I know." He said irritated and raked his fingers through his hair. "That I get married and take over the farm." He uttered and sighed.

    "Simula na nga pala ng fiesta sa weekend. Your lolo is looking forward to introducing you to his political friends. He said makakatulong ito sa iyong negosyo by introducing your business to the city." Ani Attorney Madrigal.

    "I'll think about it." Sagot lang ni Utt, na ngayon ay lumuluwag na ang hawak sa akin.

    "Okay, Utt." Ani Attorney Madrigal, bago bumaling sa akin. "I truly hope you convince your lola that you're truly in love with Mr. Delano, before he requires you to marry Celine again." Pabirong hirit ni Attorney Madrigal.

    "I don't have to convince him," iritang sagot ni Utt, bago lumabas si Attorney Madrigal sa glass room at tinungo ang elevator.

    Tinitigan ni Utt ng masama ang matanda bago hinapit na naman ako papunta sa kanya. Nagkatama ang aming mga dibdib.

    "Anong gagawin mo?" itutulak ko sana siya pero hinawakan niya ang aking mga kamay at inilapit ang mukha niya sa akin. 

    Oh no! Wag kang lalapit matang pusang may balbas! Inilapat niya ang kanyang bibig sa akin, at hinalikan ako. I felt my heart fluttered and closed my eyes.

    I literally froze as I felt his warm lips on mine. I have experience in french kissing, but this kiss was different. There was an electric current that walked thru my whole body, at nadala ako ng halik na iyon! Naramdaman ko din ang paglakbay ng kamay ni Utt sa likod ko, patungo sa aking pang-upo. He squeezed it and urged it towards him. I swear I could feel something hard pressing on my abdomen. It seemed like our bodies were agreeing with the slow, but deepening kiss.

    Ano ba ito? Tigang lang ba kaming dalawa kaya kahit may nanonood sa aming paghahalikan ay ayos lang? 

    But then, I remembered that Utt claimed I'm his fiancee because he didn't want to marry Celine. And Attorney Madrigal made it known to him that he was doubtful that Utt and I were truly lovers. So this kiss, this advances his making on my behind, and this intoxicating feeling he was giving me was all pretend. He was putting on a show to convince Attorney Madrigal. Perhaps because Utt knew Attorney Madrigal would tell his Don Emilio about 'us'.

    "Utt," I managed to say while his mouth was on mine. Niyakap niya ako at itinago ang mukha sa aking leeg.

    "Just play along..." he whispered.

    "Uh... okay..." I sighed as he sensually kissed me on the neck. Napapikit ako sa sensual na paraan ng paghalik niya, nang marinig namin ang pagtunog ng elevator.

    "Is he still there," he whispered as he continued to lick my neck.

Napamulat ako ng mata, at nakitang pasakay na si Attorney Madrigal sa elevator.

    "Uh, umalis na..." nahihingal kong sagot.

    Pagsara ng elevator ay siya namang tigil ni Utt sa paghalik sa akin.

    "Sorry," he said as he gently let go of me.

    Hindi ako nakapagsalita. I was still dazed with the whole thing.

    "Are you okay?" tanong niya sa akin.

    "Uh...I'm okay," mahina kong sagot at humawak sa lamesa ko for support.

    "Okay," he nodded his head. "Here's my laptop. Just place it on my table. I need to go to my meeting at the boardroom." He casually said. "We'll take about what happened later, kuting." He looked at me poker faced, but his eyes said something else I couldn't decipher.

    I just nodded my head. Nang makaalis na siya ay dahan dahan akong umupo sa harap ng aking lamesa. He called me kuting. What did he mean when he said we would talk about what happened? Ano 'to? Couple's heart to heart talk?

    I suddenly felt blood rushed up to my face. Ano ba itong pinasok kong sitwasyon? Naputol lamang ang pag-iisip ko dahil sa isang tawag sa telephone.

    Sinagot ko ito. It was Peachy. Percival's secretary. Sinabi nitong pinapasabi ni Percival na i-block off ni Utt ang kanyang kalendaryo dahil pupunta sila sa US to attend a leadership seminar, which would be taken care and paid for by Ponce Group of Companies. Peachy also said to ask Utt who he could bring one of his people to the seminar, all expenses paid by the same company too.

    It was a good news for me dahil mapapalayo si Utt pansamantala. At least makakapag-isip ako lalo na't ang bilis ng mga pangyayari. Pero sigurado din ako na naroon din ang mag-asawang sina Gerard at Shayla. Naiimagine ko pa lang si Utt na nakikita kong gaano ka-sweet sina Gerard at Shayla, ay naawa na ako sa kanya. May problema na nga si Utt sa negosyo, at pamilya, may may problema pa siya sa puso dahil hindi siya makapag-move on kay Shayla.

    Pero teka nga! Bakit ba iniisip ko ang kapakanan ni Utt? Ako nga naghi-heal pa lang ang heart ko sa pagkabigo kay Gerard, at may nagbabadyang panganib pa sa buhay ko. Bakit ko ba kailangan pang intindihin si Utt? Ang laki-laking lalake non! Kaya niya ang sarili niya.

    Umaandar na naman ako sa pagiging selfless ko, eh. I must train myself to love myself too! Ang sarili ko dapat ang atupagin ko, lalo pa na mukhang naiinvolve na naman ako sa ibang gulo. Baka mamaya hindi lang si Angela ang ka-conflict ko. Baka pati yung Celine na iyon eh maging ka-conflict ko at dahil kay Utt iyon. Hay! Kaloka!

    Napahilamos ako ng mukha, bago naalala na i-check ko ang lola ko, nang mapansin naman na may limang naka-itim na lalaki ang dumating. Nakakatakot ang hitsura nila at mga seryoso ang mukha. Napatayo ako sa upuan at sinalubong sila.

    "Yes po, Sirs? Ano pong kailangan ninyo?" I asked.

    "Kami po ang bodyguards ninyo at ni Sir Utt." Sabi ng head bodyguard.

    "Ako? May bodyguard?"

    "Yes, Ma'am. Ni-request po kami ni Sir Utt sa agency po ni Sir Marcus."

    "What?" nasambit ko nang marinig ang mobile phone na bigay ni Utt. I'm sure siya ang nag-text dahil siya lang naman ang nakakaalam ng number nito.

    "Ma'am, pupunta na po kami ng basement at iintayin. Sabi po kasi ni Sir Utt sa amin pupunta daw po kayo sa DFA mamaya para sa inyong passport."

    "Ha?" nagugulat ako sa mga pinaggagawa ni Utt! "S-sige," sabi ko na lang, at tinungo ang lamesa upang basahin ang message ni Utt.

    "Kuting, you're coming to the US with me. Please ready your passport. I told the driver to bring you to DFA today. Thanks." Nabasa ko sa text message.