Birdgirl

17 - Priorities and Grievances

"Hello, Miss Alicia. How do you do?" Ice politely queried - standing tall and hands respectfully tucked behind his back just like a true gentleman, but was unable to suppress his playful grin that was definitely, him.

"Oh, quit it, Jaron!" The petite Washington matriarch lightheartedly chastised, swiveling to face the skyscraper of boys expectantly looking at her as she stood by the kitchen sink.

Alicia was wearing a powder blue scrub suit to cover her enviably slim physique and her short, permed hair was tucked neatly away from her face. The woman worked as a nurse at the local hospital and had the most pleasant disposition, allowing for a good relationship to form between her and each of her son's friends.

She wore a welcoming grin, eyes glimmering with a mother's genuine love when she found the teenagers blocking the entryway leading towards the kitchen. The Phillips brothers, Duke and Lia have become her surrogate children - as she called them - and have treated them like her own. The fondness the woman felt for her son's friends were quite conspicuous.

It was to be expected when her arms stretched out to coax Ice to run towards her and engulf her in a tight embrace as both giggled in glee. Alicia’s cheek was pressed firmly against Ice's chest and was mumbling words and briskly rubbing his back, expressing how she had missed the boy despite having seen him just days prior.

"Good Evening, Miss Alicia!" Landon greeted with the same eagerness as Ice, watching his brother and the woman hug each other.

"Hey! There's my baby boy!" Alicia warmly retorted, gently pulling back from Ice to wrap her arms around the younger one. "My favorite boys."

The Phillips brothers have been known for their courtesy in the Washington, Hunt and Casey household. The boys have never failed to acknowledge their friends' parents presence with respect and in turn have earned them the most beautiful relationship with the adults. Jaron Isaac always wore his best charming grin while Landon's sweet demeanor never fail to win them over. The two have embedded, forged themselves into the lives of the three sets of parents, being recognized as honorary members of their families.

"Thanks, mom. I'm competing for your love against these white boys." Trevor feigned offence, willing himself to maintain his tensed brows and firmly pressed lips that he topped by crossing his arms.

"Oh, don't be such a baby." Alicia reprimanded, shaking her head in disapproval but moved to encapsulate her eldest in the tightest of hugs. Of course, Trevor was more special to her. "I'm glad you're home, baby."

"You just told me not to be a baby and then you call me baby." Trevor explained mockingly as he swayed in his play, taking his mother along with the movement. "What gives?"

The woman slapped the boy's back and briskly pushed herself off of her son. She narrowed her eyes at him, challenging him to speak further. Alicia was a feisty little dynamite and did not put up with much nonsense. She was aware of her son's easy-going demeanor and would normally engage in playful banter with him but that night, she had other things in mind.

"Keep that up. I'll be sure to kick your ass out of this house."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Trevor mumbled repeatedly, grinning widely as he lifted his hands to block his chest from his mother's wrath.

"Don't leave your things on the floor again." Alicia reminded him sternly before retreating back to the sink and was reaching for something in the front pocket of her scrub pants.

The boys followed her and had been standing behind her expectantly. Alicia brought the object and set it down onto a dry surface and subsequently lifted her left hand out, extending her injured index finger wrapped in another blue adhesive bandage with blotches of red tainting the surface. Ice's hazel orbs were bulging out while his stomach crumpled in knots. Cold sweat began to break from his slightly tanned skin which froze his lungs over and frustrated his breathing.

Blood.

Ice was racing out of the house before Alicia could unwrap the bandage - desperate to get out before his stomach would turn inside out and unload the contents through his mouth. He was panting by the time he reached the door, yanking it open and resting his hand on one side of the door frame to steady himself. The colder breeze of the changing season was a relief and he savored the feeling of the air brushing against his skin.

The sun had settled behind the clouds and soon, its bright rays were engulfed in the darkness as the moon took it place for the night. The suburbs was too quiet, eerily quiet and Ice required some background noise to be able to feel at peace. He had thanked the heavens for whoever possessed his parents to buy a house close to the beach where the waves regularly came. His only saving grace at the time was the steady gurgling sound of Kensi's car.

Soon after, he found Lia standing by the driver's side upon hearing a car door slam shut moments ago. The girl shoved a hand in her back pocket while the other waved slightly as the car slowly rolled away from them. She watched Kensi's car until it disappeared upon a sharp turn. Lia took it as a cue to amble towards the expectant yet confused boy, running a hand through her silky mane and ruffling it up slightly.

"Where's Kensi?"

"You saw her. She's just left."

"Damn it! We have things to talk about." Ice grumbled with a huff. Suddenly, he forgot about the bloodied finger. He had been too eager to discuss the date he helped set up and it was killing him the longer he had to wait. "She promised!" Ice continued to whine like a little child, even resorting to an indignant stomp.

Lia took the time to join the boy beneath the door frame and shrugged, still not entirely convinced that the set up was better without her girlfriend. A small smile tugged at her lips when she recalled the last time she had wandered to the Washingtons. It was when she had acquainted herself with Melissa and it was the first party Kensi attended since the school ended. She had drowned herself in alcohol that night but not particularly certain as to why. She and her friends merely enjoyed drinking and well, she got drunk.

Looking back, Lia noted that a lot had changed. For starters, she was avoiding the solo cup and her liver might have been singing praise because of that. Going out was no longer the best option to spend the lonely nights that was a persistent vortex that sucked the life out of her. Seeking comfort in the effervescent night of packed houses, taking refuge in the numbers that never mattered to her was not her idea of moving past her childhood best friend anymore.

Most importantly, the roles have been reversed -Kensi had been taking care of her and the world had forced her on her knees, making her realize that she was not invincible.

Lia was facing the inside of the house and took a step toward it, silently coaxing the boy to follow suit and he did. She looked to her right and found the English rolled arm sofa where she had found her girlfriend sitting with the boy she had been adamantly insisting to have a crush on while she and the Birdboys stood by the fireplace.

"It can wait. She wanted us to spend time together. Just the four of us." She explained, apologetically looking up at Ice. She was curious of his eagerness and Kensi and Ice's sudden friendship but yearned to hear an explanation from her girlfriend instead.

Yes, it can wait.

"Five." Alicia's voice suddenly boomed, appearing before Lia with the widest of smiles and throwing her arms out for the girl who was just as eager as the other two visitors. "Hi, Amelia Lia!"

The woman was not necessarily going with the other boys' choice to call the girl by her initials. She thought Lia's names were beautiful and they had to be said, otherwise they would be such a waste. Nobody ever complained, scared of contesting Alicia's incredibly frightening demeanor. She was a polar opposite in one, extremely loving and extremely scary.

"Hi, Miss Alicia!" Lia mumbled happily, squeezing the woman up in her arms before pulling away just enough to look in her eyes. Her features displayed look of pleasant surprise - not as keen on drinking the night away as originally planned. She was actually grateful. "Don't you mean six if you and little Trey are joining?"

"The hospital called." Frowning, the woman retorted remorsefully just as the other two boys appeared from the kitchen. She turned towards her son, standing beside the younger girl to address him properly. "Trev, you're going to have to take care of your brother. It's too late to call the sitter. I'll be back before midnight."

Trevor's jaw instantly dropped while his brows went the opposite direction. He stared at his mother with much skepticism, wondering if she actually heard herself. There was no way he could take care of his six-month-old brother, he could not even make a decent meal for himself. He had plans, he and his friends had plans that he was looking forward to.

He had to trade good beer for milk and a night of boisterous celebration for the tranquility.

An internal battle plagued his being when there was certainly no way out of it considering how fearful of his mother he was. It felt as though the entire house was significantly warmer, like it was high noon and the sun was happily blessing their roof with powerful, penetrating heat.

Trevor's mouth dumbly opened and closed, searching for coherent words that might have delivered himself out of babysitting but found none.

"For real?"

"Fo sho, son!" Lia chimed in with no such enthusiasm, knowing where the conversation was leading.

Considering Alicia Washington was aware of the situation among the other sets of parents, the younger girl was certain she and the Phillips brothers will be stuck with Trevor. She instantly regretted having to taunt the boy as she realized, she had just been dragged to babysitting duties that she had no earthly idea about.

Trevor snickered which was immediately followed by resounding laughs among the four except for Lia. It had always been entertaining when the younger girl attempted to imitate the way Trevor spoke. It was almost inconceivable until they witness her in the most awkward of forms, the other, more embarrassing side of Birdgirl.

"That's enough." Alicia pierced through the throng of male throaty, and utterly amused, chuckles upon stifling her own. She squeezed Lia's arm, somehow apologizing and consoling the younger girl who was left unfazed. "If Trey cries, it means one of three things, he soiled his diaper, he's hungry or he wants to be picked up. Please don't starve my baby. Do not drop him or whatever it is you three might do." She warned but implored mostly to the three carefree boys, looking at the four pairs of expectant eyes.

Alicia had directed the teenagers towards the kitchen where she had taken the liberty to list down several reminders, including feeding times and milk volumes, and fastened it on the refrigerator. The white sheet of paper overflowed with exclamation points, the tone at which Alicia would have used on Trevor. A crash course ensued, the four were acclimated on the whereabouts of the necessary items to ensure the baby's well-being.

All the while, Trevor and his friends were internally preparing for a really long night.

Alicia left a couple of minutes after, informing the huddled teenagers of the pizza she had ordered for them. The offer of free food never alleviated the apprehensive group, having no experience of childrearing apart from Trevor who had minimal involvement in his little brother's diaper woes and nightly feeding pattern.

With the baby monitor in tow, Lia and the boys were crammed inside Trevor's medium-sized room which was right next to the nursery. It was no surprise that his walls were covered in posters of prominent basketball players that he looked up to. It was a quaint refuge of a teenage boy in natural wood and black that contained a desk to one side, a bed, a TV and a game console. The small basketball hoop secured on his door and miniature orange balls by his bedside table was Trevor's favorite.

They were watching a suspense/thriller movie in the dark room, munching on pepperoni pizza and guzzling some soda, the beer was long forgotten. Lia was settled on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs along with Landon while Ice and Trevor were on the floor. The flickering glow of the television traced faint images of the teenagers' features and as far as they're concerned, they have disappeared from the world for the time being, too consumed by the film.

They had fulfilled their babysitting tasks, feeding the baby and burping him the best way they could. It was peaceful for the most part -apart from their own breathing as anticipation built up.

Unfortunately, peace was fleeting. A little over ten in the evening, Trey had woken up, wailing very loudly. The four friends looked at each other, darting anxious glances and all were on their feet and barging through the door of the nursery. The baby's hands were raised as his features crumpled up, squeezing his eyes shut while exposing his toothless gums.

The boys had tried milk, checked his diaper, shook rattles in front of him and even lifted him up, cradling him in their arms but their efforts were in vain -Trey was still violently crying.

Unknown to the three boys was Lia's hammering heart and paling features. Her cold, cold hands had begun to tremble after spine-tingling fear drenched her. Taking a step after step back, she stopped when she felt the wall behind her, restricting her movements. Somehow, she felt apprehensive, trapped in a cage of memories and tragic events that should have been buried as a memory and not as a constant source of torment.

It wasn't Duke's death this time. It was her mother's miscarriage.

"What do we do?" Lia asked in her daze, swallowing hard on the lump in her throat which proved to be a challenge as her mouth had dried up. Her voice was barely audible, especially amid the baby's frantic cries.

Ice's gaze had not stayed on one particular thing for a period of time. He had been frenziedly searching for something that could interest a six month old but was coming short because of his limited knowledge. "Do any of you know anyone with lots of babysitting experience?"

"Amber." Lia whispered, raising her hands to her head to massage her scalp in the hopes of easing the tension that got her head pulsing.

"She has plans with her family. I don't want to intrude." Trevor informed them, lifting his head momentarily to look at his friends but immediately looked back down on the child in his arms as he swayed with desperation.

Everyone was stressed with all the ear shattering wailing, it was a much bigger suspense than the movie they had previously watched, especially with the thought of Miss Alicia's disapproving look. They all shuddered at the thought, exacerbating Lia's heightened anxiety. The room felt much hotter from within their bodies when in reality, it was comfortably cold within the four walls of Trey's room. Sweat began to surface through pores and some whose hands were free took the liberty of wiping them away while Trevor's forehead was gathering moisture.

Suggestions were thrown but were quickly shot down for different reasons, far, late and/or not available until Landon had lost all hope and began to ask the inevitable question that the other three were reluctant to even think of.

"Can't we just call your mom?"

"No!" Ice and Trevor yelled, scowling at the boy who was grimacing as if they had laid their hands on him.

"Kensi." Lia suddenly spoke, straightening at the thought of her girlfriend. She found home, the light that she needed to cast in the bleakness that was before her. She needed Kensi, and right then, Trey needed her, too. "She has five younger siblings. We've watched them before but she helped with their two youngest."

And just like that, Landon grunted rather loudly, exposing his distaste for the suggestions which caught everyone's attention and vexed his brother.

Lia somehow expected that. When everyone thought tension could not get any higher, they were wrong. It was almost suffocating in there. Five was a huge crowd, even for the spacious room.

"What's your problem?" Ice confronted him, leaving Trevor's side to stand before his brother whose back was on the crib. The harsh tone in his voice prompted his brother to take a step back and for the baby's cries to intensify.

It was deafening and heart-wrenching.

"Ice, lower your voice." Lia coaxed which drew her friend's attention and finally expose her discomfort. She was unable to move from where she stood and instead of fighting against her body, she simply shook her head. "Please just don't. I don't want you guys to fight."

"No." Ice insisted firmly, refocusing his death glare on his shrinking brother. "What's your problem with Kensi?" He reiterated, demanding for an answer.

"Nothing, Ice!" Landon yelled, yearning to have enough space to breathe, to get away from his brother but the only thing his answer did was make the baby cry even louder.

"Can't you just appreciate what she's doing? She's not here for you! She bailed because of you!" Ice informed him, seeing his brother's eyes gape in shock at the revelation which caused a feeling of satisfaction to emerge. "You heard me."

Suddenly, Landon had no other words to say.

Ice pointed a firm finger at the only girl in the room, internally worried about her - surprised to see her in a disheveled state. It did not look normal. They were all stressed but Lia's was conspicuously worse.

"Casey’s not yours, okay? She's not ours. She's her own person and it's her choice to spend time with you or not. We're all simply her friends and good friends support each other just like how we're supporting Trevor on this. You know Casey has always had feelings for her. We teased her together -all three of us. Somehow, you knew this would happen, that they would return back to their own world where no one else existed. That's how it works! It's not like she's abandoning us. Sure, she's not drinking anymore but can't you just be happy she's choosing a healthier life?"

"Do you have hidden feelings for Casey, Landon?" He prodded further, earning most of Trevor's attention while he still continued to sway haphazardly. Ice was not turning away until he broke his brother, it seemed. It was frightening. None of them had seen him act that way, and in Kensi's defense no less.

"I know you're hiding something. You were so pissed off at that froyo place after Kensi came to talk to me. She apologized to me after I kept provoking her to go after Casey."

Landon remained quiet while his brother continued his onslaught. Guilt had ravaged his soul, not necessarily inspecting the reason why Kensi was not around, he was merely celebrating her absence like a vile creature. If Ice was uncharacteristically angry, he was uncharacteristically selfish.

Between the baby's pitiful wails and the brothers' argument, it was a commotion. Trevor was both dumbfounded by the statements being thrown around and worried about his baby brother while Lia was too consumed by her anxiety. The loud noise only pushed her further down the hole, forcing her lungs to contract uncontrollably as she hyperventilated, setting her hand against the wall to steady herself. Her heart seemed to have gained strength and jerked her body to and fro.

"Do you have anyone better who could soothe the baby? Because if you do, say it now! I swear, Landon. I've had enough of you!" Ice challenged, stepping closer to his brother, invading his space and giving him no other choice but to face him. He scowled menacingly as he c****d his head creepily, speaking through gritted teeth in his vexation. "Think fast, little brother."

He looked towards his mortified friend, who had been hunched over and attempting to prevent her stomach from reversing its function and sending digested food and bile up her throat. He had to do it for Lia. They were all siblings to him and his blood-related brother was hindering the younger girl's happiness.

"Look! Casey needs her, too. Unless you can calm her and the baby, I won't call Kensi." He raised his brows, waiting for an answer that would never come. "Now, Landon! Time's up!"

Ice stormed out of the room in his fury, reaching for his phone to call the green-eyed brunette. He stomped his way down, jabbing at the device before pressing it against his ear. It only took a couple rings for Kensi to pick up and his ragged breath became the first thing the girl heard from him which immediately worried her. It didn't help that Ice was breathless as he explained the predicament as quickly as he could which prompted Kensi to race to her car and drive towards the Washington household.

Ice remained outside the front door where he could hear the faint cries of the six-month old, pacing in the hopes of cooling down before facing his brother again. He was genuinely angered by Landon's irrational words that even in all of their distress, Landon bloated his pride. It was selfish and he was not sure as to where his annoyance came from when he was part of the conquest to tease Lia with Kensi.

What changed? Ice was genuinely baffled.

Kensi took a little over ten minutes, halting the car abruptly which lunged both her and the vehicle forward. She climbed out and rushed towards the waiting boy, bare faced and dressed down, bearing an extra hoodie draped over her shoulder. Ice figured she had beaten multiple red lights in haste, yearning to be at Lia's aid.

Ice immediately led the girl towards the nursery, he and Kensi out of breath in both physical and mental exhaustion. They raced against time, just like their panicky heartbeats. The pair cringed as the wails became louder and louder until they reached to the source of the sound.

Kensi's heart sank when she saw her girlfriend sitting down on the floor, hugging her knees against her chest. Her widened, horrified eyes were glistening with extra moisture as her lips trembled in fear. It was another kind of torture to be watching Lia so helpless when she usually was the source of strength.

Kensi knew what was happening and she could only imagine the turmoil within Lia's soul - being reminded of what could have been.

Trevor was desperately rocking his brother in his arms, miserable features looking at the baby pleadingly to halt his cries. Landon was on the floor, too, hands cupping his face as he shook his hand. His digits slowly coursed up, weaving in his sandy looks when he heard the two sets of footsteps barging in. The room was bright but was cloaked in a dark cloud that was bleeding with tension.

Green eyed flitted among the surroundings, her girlfriend, the basketball varsities, the baby, the room and an aggravated Ice - trying to decide on what to do.

It may have been a little selfish, but Kensi scrambled to her girlfriend. Hastily lunging herself at her, she pulled Lia onto her lap as she wrapped her arms tightly around the distressed girl. It hurt that Lia was cold as the blood in her veins dropped in temperature while a layer of sweat covered her body. She rocked them gently, murmuring words of reassurance, praying that those could quell even just a speck of Lia's worries, enough to get her up to her feet and out of the room.

Landon had stepped out and it was only Kensi who noticed. He took refuge in Trevor's room and sinking the little basketballs as his attempt at relaxing. He was too overwhelmed by everything, the baby, his brother, Lia, Kensi and the whole situation.

As much as Kensi wanted to do something, she had bigger things to worry about.

"You're okay, baby. Just breathe." Kensi mumbled repeatedly against her girlfriend's temple, never removing her lips from it. Just like the rest of them, the baby's cries had been undulated in her body, wearing her out. "I'm right here. Take your time."

None of them had seen Lia as vulnerable as she looked but were aware she was human just like the rest of them. It just didn't occur to them that she could be suffering from anything as grave and even then, they had no idea why. They did know that Kensi was pacifying her.

It was crucial for Kensi that she provide her girlfriend utmost love and care, and that her actions could calm her, even when she had no idea what she was doing. They stayed in the position for a while, Lia working on steadying her breathing, realizing that she was not the only person in need of the caring brunette holding her.

The younger girl hugged Kensi tightly, nuzzling hear head against Kensi's neck for a moment and gently planting a chaste kiss before reluctantly pulling away. She was not in a much better position but she was slightly stable, and that was enough for her for now.

"Do you need anything?" Kensi asked, setting her hands on either side of her girlfriend's face who shook her head gently, mustering strength that was quite elusive. "What can I do? Tell me, baby."

"Please take care of Trey first." Lia implored, gloomy brown eyes attaching to the worried greens that was maintaining stellar composure.

Lia was selfless - she had always been selfless and had barely put herself first before others even in the state that she was in. It was a beautiful trait that made her girlfriend proudly beam at her albeit her small, toothless smile.

"Are you sure? Do you want to step out?" Kensi asked, searching for uncertainty in her girlfriend's eyes that was there but the desire to pacify the baby was prominent it shined.

"Go, babe."

"Please tell me if you're uncomfortable. You're my priority, remember?"

"I'm okay. You're here." Lia assured her girlfriend, setting her own hand on those porcelain cheeks and running her thumb against the soft surface. "Thank you for being here."

"Wear this. You're a little cold." Kensi handed her the hoodie, finally relenting. She waited for her girlfriend climb off her lap before standing up. "I'll be right back."

Kensi eyed Ice and c****d her head to her girlfriend's direction, silently asking him to be by Lia's side. The boy ambled towards the younger girl and pulled her in for a side hug as Kensi approached Trevor who was visibly relieved. He was eager to hand his brother over while Kensi accepted the baby, making sure she supported his head.

The green-eyed brunette's heart felt as though it was crushed at Trey's helpless state. The baby could not even understand what he was feeling.

"Hi, baby boy." Kensi tenderly cooed, frowning at the sight of the tear-stained cheeks. She adjusted her grip and lifted one hand free to wipe the moisture away from his delicate, youthful features. "I need you to settle down for me. My baby over there is a little rattled and we'd appreciate it if you could just let us breathe a little. Do we have a deal?" She chuckled, smiling at the little baby whose eyes had momentarily opened enough for him to inspect who had been speaking.

"Shh. It's okay. No one's going to hurt you." She adjusted the baby in her arms, holding him upright and flat against her chest in the hopes of coaxing him to sleep, hypnotized by her steady heartbeats. The movement alone changed the loud cries to pitiful sobs and Kensi made sure to plant a tender kiss on top of his head.

Tucking his head tucked beneath her chin, Kensi sealed her eyes began to carefully sway as if she was dancing with a partner. She hummed the song she sang to Lia on the night the younger girl asked Kensi to be her girlfriend, exactly a week prior. All the while, she softly ran her hand up and down his tiny back, only focusing on the little boy for the time being.

"Could we fix you if you broke? And is your punch line just a joke?" Pausing, Kensi revealed those green orbs and looked up to her much calmer girlfriend - smirking as she sent her a sexy wink and continued to sing but focused on Lia then. "I'll never talk again. Oh, girl, you've left me speechless. You've left me speechless, so speechless."

Trevor was grateful but he was mostly amazed at how great Kensi was with his brother. In actuality, all three spectators were equally astounded. They watched slack jawed as Trey's sobs became whimpers until they were steady breathing. Ice stood proudly - squeezing Lia's shoulder affectionately.

As for Lia, she was barely able to breathe. She was quite overwhelmed by the beautiful sight before her. She fell in love with the girl all over again, maybe even more.

Kensi with a baby looked very, incredibly attractive and quite heartwarming.

"Do you want to hold him?" Kensi asked her girlfriend in a hushed voice upon finishing her little performance. Her eyes conveyed what she wanted to speak in words, that she was right there, no matter what. "You can do it, baby. I promise."

It may have been uncomfortable to Lia but Kensi only wanted to help her get over the traumatic experience. Her approach was gentle, light and non-threatening. She was doing a very good job but Lia was tentative and was doubting herself.

"Can I?" Ice asked instead, sensing the hesitation that settled over Lia.

Kensi gently maneuvered little Trey with ample instructions to Ice until he was snuggly situated in his arms. Ice was in awe, watching the baby with his gaped features and hazel eyes glimmering with splendor both. Kensi inspected them for a moment, making sure Ice did not wake the baby up before joining her girlfriend. She immediately wrapped her arms around Lia's waist while the younger girl wrapped hers around Kensi's shoulders.

"You're safe. I'm here." Kensi proclaimed, twisted her head slightly to plant a kiss on Lia's head. "I love you, baby."

"I love you." Lia reciprocated, pulling away slightly, searching for those green eyes that appeased the storms in her being. She looked down in shame, slightly frowning. "I'm sorry we had to call you."

"No. I'm glad you did." Kensi lifted her hand and traced the outline of Lia's nose and then planting a soft kiss on it. She sighed heavily, remembering the boy who had disappeared from the room - sensing the reason behind his actions. "I'll go find Landon. Is that okay? Do you want me to stay?"

The younger girl shook her head, offering her girlfriend a small smile. She knew Kensi had to take care of it and neither wanted to wait for "the right time" when they could have created it.

"Just come back to me."

"Don't I always?"

Kensi assisted Ice in placing Trey down to his crib. The baby slightly woke up but was easily put back to sleep as Kensi gently patted his side and some hushed murmurs. She informed the other three to be remember his feeding time and swiveled to place a kiss on Lia's forehead. And with that, she was on a long, treacherous journey towards a small harmless monster.

Two solid knocks to gaped door of Trevor's room, Kensi showed herself in while Landon's expectant eyes were immediately replaced with sheer terror. He sat straight, shifting uncomfortably in his friend's bed. He hunched over, set his elbows on his legs and clasped his hands together.

There was still residual anger lingering in his chest which was his brother's doing.

Kensi sauntered towards the bed with no rush, leaving the door slightly open. Slowly, she descended on the other end of the mattress and set her hands on either side of her body, gripping the malleable surface. It wasn't because she was scared of the boy. She was simply wary about allowing him space to breathe, to do whatever he wanted. Even when Kensi didn't do anything, she allowed the boy to justify his feelings of being a victim.

Although, Kensi was nervous and her heart was beating with force but not enough to strangulate her words. Landon was Lia's friend and she wanted to keep it that way.

"I know you don't like it when I'm around. But I feel like I know why." She tentatively began -aimlessly staring at the television before them, looking for her reflection. "You want to have fun and you think I'm restricting Lia from participating in your tradition. But you have to know that I'm only doing it for her well-being. You have to remember that I care about her so much and I don't want her to waste her life away, wasted just to forget something when there are so many other options to silence the battle inside her.

"I can't promise you that I won't be around during the games because I have to write the sports column but I can assure you, I will steer clear from the parties if you promise me one thing. You promise me that my girlfriend comes out of it in the same condition as when she entered it." Kensi expressed pleadingly, already fearing for Lia's destruction without her watchful eye. It was a terrible deal.

She was aware that she had just revealed their secret relationship but couldn't celebrate it albeit feeling quite liberated for a change.

"Duke's gone, Kensi. I didn't want to lose her, too." Landon spoke up, voice atypically quiet and small while he kept his head bowed down.

"She was never going anywhere. I wasn't going to take her away from you. But she's not well, Landon and I am very disappointed in the three of you." Kensi twisted her head to gaze at the boy who had perked up at the news. Sure enough, it hit a sensitive area but Landon could not offer a rebuttal, he was compelled to listen. "She's not dealing with Duke's death well."

"You were supposed to be his girlfriend - why are you better?"

Kensi had to bite her tongue after she heard the question. If she had allowed the onslaught of merciless words to flow out of her mouth, Landon would hate her for all eternity. It made her feel a hint of guilt but mostly felt attacked. Was she not allowed to move on? Was she supposed to grieve for the rest of her life? Kensi didn't know but it sure appeared like the boy was implying it.

"I dealt with it in its entirety. I grieved. I felt it and let it render me helpless. I cried nonstop for days. And yes, Lia was there for me." Kensi bit, barely maintaining her composure as her temper began to simmer and was ridiculously close to a boil. "So, what is it, Landon? Why do you hate me?"

"I...I feel like you just used him...Duke." Landon stammered but was able to complete his sentence, battling against his skyrocketing pulse. He bravely looked up at those intimidating greens to give her a decent answer. "He really loved you. He looked at you differently, anyone could see it. He talked about you to me all the time. He barely talked and during the times he did, he gushed about you. He never gushes unless it was Casey. But you know they go way back. You were different to him!"

"He looked at you like you're the most fascinating thing in the world but you never saw him that way. He looked at you like you're the most special to him but your eyes were never looking right back at him, they were on Casey. You could have been the reason why their friendship ended." Upon finishing his speech, Landon came to a realization.

He knew. He knew about Kensi's feelings for Lia and he knew about Lia's feelings for Kensi. He was one of those people who knew about Kensi and Duke's relationship but had never quite seen it before their eyes. Duke's need for privacy was exaggerated that it looked like he was a celebrity, hiding his romantic life from camera lenses that never existed.

"That wouldn't have happened. You never gave us enough credit. I've been in love with Lia since I met her. I know it's stupid and irrational but that's feelings for ya. She told me she's been in love with me around the same time I did but you know what happened. We never did anything!" Kensi defended, on her feet and towering over the boy who remained seated, small and insignificant. "I never cheated on Duke with Lia. I never cheated on him with anybody. I never even looked at anyone for him."

It seemed as though, Landon had not learned his lesson and before his mind could catch up, he was mumbling something out of spite.

"He didn't hang out much with us, but when he met you, it's like he abandoned us and you took that for granted."

Kensi was offended. Her self-control was swiftly crumbling down and the ember in the pit of her stomach had been lit up. It was simply ludicrous that he would assume she was forsaking the time her ex-boyfriend awarded her with when Landon had limited knowledge about her previous relationship. It was too private for anyone to intrude and too private or anyone to experience it.

"Lia and I stopped calling each other that nickname you guys teased her with for him. We never hung out without asking for his permission. Lia made reasons not to hang out with me. I missed her and it hurt but we knew it was for the best. That was when she would insist picking up girls was more important than spending an afternoon with me. We maintained as little contact with each other, we didn't even talked on the phone." Kensi bit, seething with anger but could not find it in her to simply yell at the boy. It was annoying that her rational side had been fighting to stay in the ring. "So, tell me, Landon, did I take it for granted?"

"I could never break a friendship like that and neither could she. If you have to know, we only started dating exactly a week ago. And I'm sorry but I don't need anyone's permission but hers. If you can't respect that, you can't expect me to walk away either - not when she still loves me back."

"Babe." Lia's voice echoed through the room as the door slowly pushed further to reveal her holding the baby with Trevor and Ice eavesdropping on the private conversation. "No more."

Lia didn't want an argument to spark between her girlfriend and her friend. Kensi was the obvious victor but she felt the need to step in to avoid irreversible damage that could have been uttered by an angry mouth. The younger girl figured that what was necessary had been shared and that there was no need to talk further.

Lia was holding the baby and she was alright.

Within Kensi's apprehensive being was a swelling heart. Somehow, she was transported years into the future and the baby Lia was holding was theirs and it made her feel giddy and excited. The future looked as bright and as beautiful with Lia. Unconsciously, Kensi stood up and ambled towards her girlfriend, stroking Trey's forehead while staring at Lia expectantly. She was waiting for an answer but was incredibly happy for her girlfriend.

"He cried and I picked him up. And when I try to put him back in his crib, he cried again." Lia bashfully explained, unable to maintain eye contact with those weakening green eyes.

"He likes you." Kensi smiled endearingly at her girlfriend, assuring her it was absolutely okay and she was doing well. She leaned down and planted a tender kiss on Trey's forehead. "I told him." She mumbled upon looking up at her girlfriend, slightly worried about her reaction.

"I heard." Lia commented with a feigned indifference, stifling the gleeful grin that was supposed to quell Kensi's worries. "So, what's stopping you now, Kensi Lancaster?"

Kensi drew her head back, raising her brows in scrutiny – not quite understanding her girlfriend's subtlety. It was a puzzle that she wanted to solve eagerly, not liking the idea of perplexity. It was another bone-rattling fear, anticipating her girlfriend's disapproval.

Lia rolled her eyes, huffing in displeasure but scrunched up her nose adorably. "You're supposed to kiss your girlfriend of one week and soul mate of seventeen years, maybe eighteen, or maybe an eternity? Written in the stars kind of thing."

The green-eyed brunette dumbly opened and closed her mouth, brimming with such confusion and incredulity. She was about to participate in a public display of affection for the first time - well, except for the innocent touches they both shared through the years. Regardless of the commotion in her stomach - butterflies or acid, Kensi reached up to cup her girlfriend's cheeks with a sudden kick of bravery. She leaned in so their foreheads touched and looked up to Lia to look for some sort of hesitation but she found none.

"I love you." Kensi professed, lips forming into a content smile.

"I love you, too." Lia breathed, her raging pulse her preventing her from speaking up.

Both were anticipating an imminent kiss that they were concealed from the world, wrapped in their own little bubble and only hearing their frantic heartbeats. Lia tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, drenching it while Kensi opted for running her tongue against her lips. Nerves crawled at their skin, moistening their hands and weakened their knees that Kensi had to take a moment to relearn how to swallow.

It was finally happening and it was a hodgepodge of emotions being stirred in a cauldron.

Lia leaned in, having enough of the suspense. Their lips were firmly pressed against the other, molding to fit perfectly as if they were designed to complement each other - soul mates since the beginning of time. The couple was instantly breathless, Kensi had to take a frantic inhale through the nose to be able to survive while Lia simply savored the kiss, being reminded about how beautiful it felt to be Kensi Lancaster's girlfriend.

The two oldest boys mindlessly and loudly cheered, celebrating their discovery but was immediately thwarted by crying from a startled Trey. Kensi could not even chastise the boys. She simply accepted the baby from Lia and sauntered back to the nursery.

While the others were pushing their worries aside, playing video games in the other room and struggling to control their excitement a couple of minutes after Trey settled down, Ice and Kensi remained in the dark nursery only illuminated by a dim lamp by the crib. They were side by side, seated on the ground and leaning against the wall, a good distance from the sleeping baby but close enough to keep an eye on him.

Just a week ago, the thought of them being in the same room in peace was absurd, it was simply taboo. The other three may have been secretly worried about leaving them alone, bracing for the time somebody would break the truce and unleash hell, and burn the entire house, or worse, wake the baby. But their shoulders were slightly touching that both could feel the other's warmth and they were comfortable.

Kensi was inspecting minute movements inside the crib, internally hoping that Trey would sleep soundly for the rest of the night. It was quiet and the insignificant sound from the other room was nothing but hushed murmurs, and it was comfortably cold that she was not excessively warm underneath her hoodie and sweatpants. Sighing, she took one good look prior to shifting her head to inspect her friend's features to her left.

Ice's head was sent back, pressed against the wooden surface while his hazel eyes were concealed from the world. His legs were folded to raise his knees where he perched his forearms on, ignoring the pressure in his left pocket. Kensi's outline casted a shadow onto his face and he looked out for the night but his relaxed form seemed serene. Ice was exhausted. From the intense game devoted to impressing the scouts to caring for a baby with little to no knowledge as to how - he was gone and Kensi could not help but chuckle quietly as a thought clicked in her mind.

"Was this your idea of a celebration?" She amusingly queried in a hushed voice, unable to stifle the strong tug of her lips that exposed her smile.

Hearing the hilarity in Kensi's tone, Ice shook his head as he released a breath of disbelief - still working on getting used to the light air that have been embracing both of them since Kensi approached him.

"Nah. But I'll take it. We're all here."

Kensi did not expect the answer. Being the effervescent jokester and player of the group, only his closest friends would know of the boy's desire to spend as much time with the people he loved. Among the remaining four, he was the only one who insisted to spend time with Duke during the duration of his relationship with Kensi when he was entirely unavailable. He had been secretly feeling quite neglected by his parents and would point to his mother when she would "embarrass" by deafeningly cheering him on as he was playing football.

The green-eyed brunette lightly slapped the boy by the shoulder, both surprised and pleased by his words and her smile reflected of pride instead of mischief.

"I didn't think you were a sentimental fool, Popsicle."

"You're one to talk, Lancaster." He mumbled. Lifting his eyelids, Ice’s hazel orbs were exposed to the world but not enough as he narrowed his eyes in scrutiny. From his perspective, Kensi was nothing but a silhouette against their only light source.

"I didn't say I wasn't." Kensi's smile only broadened at the gesture and she, in turn, emitted a huff of amusement that turned into a hushed laughter.

Despite attempts to fight it, Ice relented and rolled his eyes at the mockingly-smart answer while Kensi beamed with pure content in her chest. She adjusted her back and settled her eyes aimlessly across to the darkened part of the room. Even with the limited lighting, Ice could see how content and happy Kensi looked and it was the first time he had seen in it in all the years that he had known the girl. The gentle curve of those plump lips, glow in her skin and the grace at which her lids gently blink were a telltale of her gratification.

It made him wonder and internally ask questions about a specific duration in Kensi's life and why she chose to prolong it even when it meant sadness for another person. He figured he will not get answers by letting his thoughts remain in his head and so, he took the chance albeit cautiously.

"Can I ask you a question?" Ice mumbled gently, flitting her eyes towards the direction of Kensi's gaze - reluctantly to see a quick shift of her expressions.

"Yeah."

Swallowing a huge breath, he braced for the imminent spike of his pulse as the suspense fear up in him. Intimate conversations were not his forte - not a lot of people took him seriously. He did love when they cracked a smile or a laugh because of him but sometimes, he just wanted to connect with another soul, he did not expect it to be Kensi Lancaster's but he welcomed it with all his heart.

Kensi could have the most beautiful one considering his best friends gave their hearts to her.

"Why'd you stay with Duke?"

"I loved him." Kensi reasoned without taking a minute to contemplate on the best response for such a sensitive question.

There was a certain aversion to swivel to meet Ice's gaze. Her features perceptibly tensed and she was stilled but her mouth had slowly closed until she could clench he jaw. She took it well - better than her yelling at Ice, and he was thankful for that. He waited and waited, reluctant to intervene before she could finish what her mind could vomit out into the air.

Kensi's heart had sank and it had caused for her heart to go ballistic and stole her breath at the same time. Maybe she was guilt-ridden, knowing that she spent all those years pining over Lia while dating another person. It was a delicate subject, one that he never expected to be discussed with Ice, one of her ex-boyfriend's closest friends.

Her tongue poked out of her lips, gently coursing through the surface to drench them as she prepared to speak. She scratched her brow and set both hands on her thighs, meaninglessly squeezing the fabric of her sweatpants. "He was a really good guy. I didn't want to hurt him. Besides, being left to be replaced by his girl best friend might have just killed him. It simply would have been unfair. I was lucky to have him even when we didn't really talked in public which was kind of good and bad. It made me feel like he was hiding me from the world, like he was ashamed of me but I was secretly happy about it because I didn't want to rub it in Lia's face."

"But you weren't in love with him." Ice interjected gently and with utmost care as he cagily tapped one of her outstretched legs for comfort to which Kensi sighed heavily, conveying an answer that was practically too obvious.

Kensi's was a predicament he never wanted to be situated in.

"That's okay. I understand. I probably would have done the same. It'd be hard to break up with a person like that." He assured her as he, too, extended his legs and set his hands on either side of his body. "I actually admire you. If it happened to me, I would have probably been selfish and just left to fulfill one of my greatest dreams to be able to love the person I truly love and be happy with her. It must have hurt to expect Casey to come around, bringing you flowers and gifts that she said were from Duke but were really from her." He shook his head condescendingly at the mental image of Lia he saw in the past. "She had to help swoon you. Now, that was harsh. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Don't worry, Kensi Lancaster. Everything worked out in the end. Don't you think?"

After her conversation with Landon, the least Kensi expected of Ice was sympathy which was quite faulty. For one, she was friends with the imperceptibly mature one of the two who was raised to be more giving, understanding due to his family situation. Being fourth of five brothers, he had the least attention. One of his older brothers was smarter than him and was pursuing a law degree, the other two were fairly unruly while Landon was the most sensitive. He was the "most" normal one in the brood that didn't need constant approval.

Taking Kensi's silence as a chance to lighten the mood and to steer clear of despondency, like he's inclined to, he nudged the girl by the shoulder, slightly bumping to tip to the other side. Surprisingly, he didn't receive a scowl, instead, his smile was returned with a small, grateful one that warmed his calmer heart.

"So, about the date." He prodded while jerking his brows suggestively, to which Kensi raised her brows incredulously and finally glanced at him. "Did you ask her then?"

"We've been dating two days before that." Kensi muttered, cringing as she expected displeasure to contort Ice's features into a frown. "Sorry. I couldn't tell you."

Kensi was remorseful - she felt as though she was betraying the boy who never claimed such right to the knowledge of her personal life. Sure, he helped her but she had every right to hide something she wasn't ready to reveal. However, her gratification always pulled her towards repaying a person for their kindness towards her that even when no debts were due - she felt as though she owed him honesty.

"It's your relationship. You never have to apologize for seeking privacy." Ice remarked, the sincerity was thick in his words and his hazel eyes could not be warmer. While he was peeling the layers of Kensi's heart, his were coming undone as well and he felt quite vulnerable but accepted at the same time.

"Did you give her the ring on that day? Is it a promise ring?" He reached for his left pocket, tapping at the objects hidden inside.

"You noticed, huh?" Kensi smiled bashfully, concealing it behind her bowed head. She ran her hand through her hair, directing them to one side, over her right shoulder - something she did to stall the conversation. "Yeah. I wanted to replace the twist tie but she wouldn't take it off. It could probably be a reiteration of my promise to stand by her through it all. I picked that because it was naturally beautiful just like her. Flowers bloom and show their beauty to the world, unlike gold that you have to dig and process to be able to see its shine."

"Yeah, you're sentimental." He mumbled under his breath, never meaning to sound like it was him teasing his friend. "You know what I think? I think you've proven that you'd be there for her in all the years you've been friends, and you showing up here right now when we all needed you. Casey was pretty scared earlier. I think you know why."

"Yeah, I do. It's not really in my place to tell you guys though." Kensi offered, looking down on her pants as she contemplated on the situation. "I felt like it'd be nice to see it on her, too - to be reminded of a good day. She's been having a lot of rough days since Duke died and I just want her to be happy. It could also be a reminder of...me to her, to tell her that she has me no matter what."

Ice nodded, accepting the answer that was more than he could ever fathom. He had always seen and experienced the deep connection the two girls shared and to be the ears that hear it from one of them first hand felt like an honor. It was rare that people took him seriously, and he figured, he liked it better.

The mention of the promise ring prompted him to set his hand over the alien, misplaced items in his pocket that had been poking at his bones annoyingly since he had worn those jeans after his football match. They were identical objects that he had been keeping in his room for a day or two, looking for the perfect time to offer it to his new friend, as a sign of his friendship.

Yep, Ice was the sentimental kind.

"Yeah, which reminds me." He muttered rather insecurely as he worked up the courage to speak albeit it being shaky. He adjusted to be able to fit his large hand in his pocket to retrieve them and set one on his other hand which he folded to conceal it for a moment as he extended it in front of Kensi whose eyes were curiously darting between his face and his hand. "I was hesitant to give this to you in the fear of you laughing in my face. I've been keeping it with me for a bit and I thought tonight, while we should have been drinking and you'd lose your tenacity, I'd give it to you. But I realized, this was better."

"Here." He breathed, slowly opening his hand to reveal the item tucked inside. "It's not a ring but that's the symbol of our friendship, I guess."

Kensi's eyes widened in splendor. It was both astonishment for her friend's gushes and the beauty of the simple objected cradled in his hand that she ever so gently picked up and raised up to inspect it further, making do with the limited lighting. It was a simple rose thorn wedged inside a solid glass prism whose magnificence had been magnified, preserved in its glass casing.

"It's from the blue rose." Ice explained shyly, having no audacity to look Kensi in the eyes. Instead, his blushing features had been focused on the prism as well. "I felt like we developed a friendship that day and I didn't prick my fingers too much for nothing. I wanted to remember it, to remind the people who matter that I once helped make the greatest love story in the world a little more special.

"I know it's too early to say that we're as close as can be but we've been warming up to each other since last Monday and just like the ring, that's a reminder. To remind you - both of you, that when life pricks you on the finger, you have each other -and you two have me." He unsurely smiled, unaware of the magnitude of his words to the girl who had remained silent apart from the hushed awe of the object between her thumb and index finger. He extended his other hand out, holding it in front of him to reveal the other identical one. "This is for Casey."

Kensi's heart swelled while Ice's was beating his ribs up and for a moment, Kensi was stilled.

An agonizingly long moment later, she tucked the object in her hand and looked at the nervous boy with the gentlest of smiles, seeing the innocence of a child shine through him.

"You're a good person, Ice." Kensi proclaimed and utilized his nickname without hesitation, floored by the boy's genuine care for her and her girlfriend. "Thank you. I don't think I can thank you enough. I'm here for you, too. I'm pretty sure Lia feels the same."

"You are, too, Kensi." He retorted as his lips slowly beamed, feeling liberated just because he called the girl by her first name for the first time. "You're my friend now - you're our friend. You better get used to it."

"I might think about sponging you up." The brunette quipped, green eyes glistening with mischief.

"Yeah, I take it back." He feigned offence, shaking his head condescendingly. His face slowly revealed a solemn expression and his lips slightly tugged to force the smallest smile. "But I trust you with my best friend."

"That really means a lot to me."

"Wait! You just called me Ice!" Ice whisper-yelled, wary about keeping his voice down to prevent a wailing baby. He raised both fists in the air, he just about stretched his limbs in his victory.

He wouldn't admit it, but he was warming up to the repulsive juvenile nickname Kensi had given her.

Kensi's smile could not get any wider, looking up at those triumphant fists that she could not, for the life of her, shoot down as she, too, felt happiness ripple in her. "You called me Kensi, too, Popsicle."

Their celebration was halted by the gentle rattling of the door knob which drew both of their attention as they waited for the door to be pushed open to reveal the intruder which was none other than, Landon.

"Hey, guys." He greeted in a hushed, guarded tone and his tensed lips were struggling to muster a smile. He lifted his balled hand, thumb protruding as he pointed towards the other room. "We're playing video games and I'd like to have Kensi on my team if that's okay with her?"

Ice raised his brows in both skepticism and disbelief. He was expecting a scowl or a dejected frown and was quietly preparing to chastise his brother. Meanwhile, Kensi's thick brows furrowed as she looked from Landon to his brother and shrugged. A smile slowly concealed her disbelieving gaped mouth, much to Landon's relief.

The brunette rose to her feet and offered her hand to Ice who accepted it and slowly stood up to join her - both holding the prisms in their free hands.

"Grab the baby monitor, Popsicle." She instructed with a tap of the shoulder before sauntering over to Landon, winking at the younger boy. "Let's go kick some ass, Baby Phillips."