Birdgirl

18 - The Haunting Past

The dawn of the new day had not even been broken for the world to see and Lia was sitting on the edge of the bed trying to put one of her running shoes on. It was bleak out and the powerful darkness had not allowed the sun to penetrate just yet - not until an hour and a half later, at least. It was a lot colder without the great star that basked the day and the changing season had altered the weather.

It was cold. But Lia relished the drop in temperature. The way it drenched her bare skin, prickling it unceasingly and burning until it left her numb was one of the best sensations she felt. She felt as though she had defied the odds, one that her best friend was not able to do.

By worrying about a physical discomfort, she thought she had eradicated the mental and emotional ones she had been bearing.

But for now, Lia was swimming in Kensi's intoxicating natural scent that had been lingering in the things around the latter's room. The simplistic room beamed of her girlfriend's personality. Lia had made sure to take deep breaths - overwhelming not just her lungs but all of her senses.

Kensi was easily inebriating and Lia would gladly indulge in her light essence.

"What time is it?" A husky morning voice cracked, prompting Lia to seal her eyes as a content grin pulled her lips.

Kensi's voice was one of her favorite sounds and she would gladly drill her ears with that glorious scratchy one until she could hear no more.

Lia leisurely swiveled her torso to be able to see her girlfriend properly. She had lifted one leg in the process to ensure that most of her body was facing Kensi. To Lia, there was only one right way to glance at the girl and that was to devote all of her attention to her. She was more than happy with the sight that blessed her eyes once those brown hues found the green-eyed girl.

There laid Kensi on the left side of the bed, looking intently at the younger girl as her lashes batted delicately and groggily to allow her eyes to adjust to the dimly lit room. The incandescent glow that was emanating from the lamp on the right bed side traced the outline of Kensi's face with such grace.

Lia was in awe and her survival was at risk.

Laying on her side, Kensi's porcelain features were relaxed and well rested, and the sleepy smile plastered across her face was the most adorable. Her folded right hand was beneath, cradling her head while the other was pressed firmly against the mattress close to her chest - perhaps, for balance. Half of her body was snuggly tucked inside her duvet, providing comfortable warmth that she wanted from her girlfriend and her bare arm was plagued by goose bumps.

Over Kensi's head, Lia could see their framed middle school picture and was unconsciously searching for Duke's, feeling a commotion bubbling within her that she was quick to brush away to smile adoringly at her girlfriend.

Lia had managed to convince herself that she was merely looking because balance had been altered - because seeing the boy's face next to theirs on that bedside table was the norm for months.

"Four something." Lia breathed, having to inhale deeply to cope with the overwhelming force of her heart as its beautiful unknowing puppeteer awakened.

Kensi might never know how her magnificent eyes could make Lia's heart race or how her smallest smile could beam the brightest and melt her girlfriend like ice cream beneath the sun. She didn't have to know but if the affectionate glint in those brown eyes could speak, it would gently whisper it to Kensi's heart or maybe slap her senseless.

Lia reached forward, holding her weight on one hand pressed against the mattress, and tenderly ran the knuckles of her other against Kensi's cheek. Sleepy green eyes immediately took cover behind the lids to relish not just the feeling but the tender moment. Both would agree that their lives had been on full speed as of recent times and they would desperately latch onto slow but fleeting times when they could just enjoy each other.

"Go back to sleep. It's too early for my baby to be awake." Lia suggested in the same hushed tone and leaned down to kiss her girlfriend's bare shoulder which had endured another wave of minute hills as Kensi shivered beneath Lia's lips. "I'll wake you up later."

"Stay." Kensi murmured upon sighing, eyes peacefully remained closed. "Cuddle."

Lia was aware she could not say no to a request as affectionate and as vulnerable as such. She had already been wrestling against herself the moment she heard her girlfriend's voice. It was not necessarily easy to leave while her girlfriend was deep in the confines of slumber and without knowledge of her brief disappearance but, essentially, it was easier.

It was the first time in all their inconsistent yet endless sleepovers that Kensi awoke prior to Lia's daily rendezvous with the dim-lit dawn - accompanied by nothing but the stillness of the world and the distant music of the beach as the water races to tumble against the shore while the rest of humanity is waking up.

Regardless, Lia had to defend her case albeit futilely.

"I have to run, babe. I'm competing in the spring and my stamina is not nearly at par with my usual. I'm still trying to get back in shape. Drinking too much was a bad idea." She chuckled quietly, admitting to the fault in her temporary lifestyle choice which elicited an amused and exulting smirk on Kensi's lips.

Lia's pride was being played by the smug grin and she was not going to let it linger. She slithered forward and lowered herself to give it a quick peck that worsened the smile and affected her own lips, too.

It wasn't effective but Lia was not complaining. She shook her head as she accepted defeat, smiling shamelessly and admiring Kensi's relaxed form.

"I'll be back before you know it. Just sleep while I'm gone."

The statement tensed Kensi's features and Lia could see those furrowed brows and the downturned curve of her lips. Kensi was frowning, if not, pouting like a child and blindly reaching for her girlfriend's shoulder to pull her back but to no avail. Lia had the advantage of sight.

"You run every morning. You leave me in bed all sad and alone." Kensi dramatically stated while her green eyes remained concealed.

"I do not."

"Yeah, you can keep lying to yourself while you're cuddling me."

Releasing a huff of utter amusement, Lia's cheeks had felt sore from her persistent smile. Her heart could not have been any lighter while it constantly did backflips and somersaults within its confines. It baffled her how a person could have as strong of a tug on her as Kensi.

"You're annoying." Lia grumbled in defeat.

"I love you, too." Kensi countered, finally revealing those tired green eyes that shined in her mischief with the knowledge that she had won. "Cuddle now?"

"Fine!" The younger girl relented upon a firm roll of her eyes.

Lia kicked her foot free of her lone shoe and crawled up to the green-eyed brunette. She laid on her back while her quietly gloating girlfriend cuddled up to her - resting her head on Lia's chest, happily smiling. Their hands were quick to find each other, intertwining their fingers like they have found their home.

"You didn't say you love me back." Kensi mumbled, feigning a combination indignation and anguish. "I can't believe I have to compete against everyone with you."

"Yeah, well, you didn't kiss me good morning." Lia bantered like the little smarty pants she was and enjoyed her turn to beam smugly but Kensi was not having any of it.

The green-eyed brunette was quick to climb up and press her lips against her girlfriend with one purpose driving her actions: to erase that dumb smirk. Purpose or not, their hearts raced on the same track as their intense emotions intensified their deep connection.

Lia found herself humming unconsciously as she breathed a calming sigh and smiled against Kensi's lips.

"I love you, too." Lia mumbled as Kensi slowly pulled away, eyelids slowly pulling up and revealing tranquil, glossy eyes. "Good morning, baby."

"Good morning indeed." Kensi whispered, moving further up to kiss the area between Lia's brows before assuming her previous position.

She was unbelievably happy and content in her girlfriend's arms that it was almost a crime to be that blissful.

The couple held each other for a long moment, hearts with no intention of slowing down, keeping them both awake. Lia was aimlessly staring at the ceiling, running her thumb against Kensi's arm while the latter was looking at the wall, holding her girlfriend securely.

It was a typical position for a really long time - since they had established their friendship years prior. It had always been innocent but was also a way to convey a deeper, more profound emotion that was meant for only one. Neither wanted to thwart their closeness by blurting out feelings that was beyond friendship and Kensi could not believe how she kept her mouth shut that long.

Lia did a good job denying the truth against herself.

"You're not asleep, are you?" Lia mumbled, kissing the crown of Kensi's head. "I can hear your thoughts from here."

Adjusting her head to look up at her girlfriend, Kensi's bashful porcelain features came into view. "I was scared you'd leave me anyway."

The younger girl braved through the commotion in her torso, a combined ruckus from her chest down to her belly which were swarming in butterflies, maybe moths. She had always seen a brave soul dwelling in Kensi's gorgeous body and her vulnerability was simply astonishing.

"I'm still here. I didn't even move." Lia stated tenderly. "I may have not explicitly said it but by agreeing to cuddle with you, I silently said I won't leave."

"That's because I held you down." Kensi playfully albeit pompously, nuzzling her head against Lia's neck and hiding her grin. "Are you hungry?"

"I'd appreciate breakfast."

"We can cook for everyone."

Kensi was the first to stand up and Lia followed suit, hopping onto her green-eyed girl's back and clinging like a koala. Both were giggling messes but Lia had managed to plant a quick peck to the porcelain cheek.

"To the kitchen after we brush our teeth!" The younger girl announced much to Kensi's amusement.

Minutes later, the pair had found themselves in the powder yellow-colored Lancaster kitchen that had stocked cabinets crawling the walls to compensate for the large family's appetite. With the coffee machine brewing, Lia was by the sink, facing a closed window covered by a thin flowery curtain, whisking eggs into a sugar and cinnamon infused milk to make French toast while she waited for the trays of bacon to cook in the oven. Kensi was next to the stove, beating eggs and watching sausages sizzle in two pans - taking time to give them a little shake to make sure they were cooking evenly.

The aroma within the large enough space was a blend of various food and the strong aroma of coffee. It was either heaven or hell, depending on the nose that took a whiff of it, or in their case, thriving within it for a little over half an hour.

They were scrambling to finish making breakfast before any of the other nine Lancasters descended the stairs but always took the time to share lingering kisses that always left them smiling like love-struck idiots.

Having ten members of the family crammed inside the same house required a lot of cooking. Lia only learned how to cook after spending countless of nights in the Lancaster household and had earned lessons from Jo. She began by learning how to properly fry an egg.

Being the only child had its perks and corresponding down side. Lia wasn't spoiled rotten but her parents had always made sure she had whatever she needed and wanted simply waiting for her.

It wasn't long before the bacon, sausages and scrambled eggs were on the long table in the adjacent room that had been set for eleven. With three piles of French toast on the counter next to Lia, the couple was watching the remaining four pieces of bread cooking to a golden brown before them. Kensi had been munching on one but not before sweeping it over a pool of maple syrup she spilled on small a plate. She had commended her girlfriend on a job well done with a full mouth upon her first bite.

Lia was too invested in the task - brows furrowed, a hand with a spatula while the other on her hip.

Kensi didn't like it and was quick to devise a plan after popping the last piece in her mouth. She ran her index finger over the syrup and smudged it on her girlfriend's lips that were quickly parting to reveal a gasp. Brown eyes narrowed at Kensi's smirking features, successfully contorting into her momentary contempt.

"You did not ju-"

The green-eyed girl stifled her girlfriend's voice by grabbing her face and forcing her lips on Lia. It was an urgent kiss that was quickly turning into a show of Kensi's playful arrogance after dodging the words that may never be spoken. It was expected that when their lips parted, Kensi was smirking.

However, they caught something in the corner of their eyes. It was a faint image of a person, standing a couple of feet away from them and by the palpable outline, it was a woman with wide disbelieving eyes and a gaped mouth.

"Clara." Red faced, Lia squeaked, unable to speak any louder as the thrill of being caught ignited her pulse and sent a tsunami of anxiety up from her torso and claim her throat. "Oh, my god!"

The couple was fearing Jo's disapproval, the most understanding and least threatening of the four parents according to their assessment.

Kensi was speechless. She was battling the same stress as Lia plus the possibility of embarrassment and mortification should her mother send her girlfriend out with heartless words in tow. It was the worst possible scenario and the thought alone was hindering her natural bodily functions such as breathing and blood flow.

Kensi's chest had released the cold fluid of distress and distributed it through her veins, freezing it in its path. A cold hand searched for Lia's equally chilly one to send a message that they were together in it, even when they were spine-tingling petrified.

"What are...what are you two?" Jo stammered through her tensed lips, features thick with confusion as her still sleepy hazel eyes sat beneath furrowed brows. "Kensi?"

"Girlfriends?" Cringing, Kensi managed to answer through her clenched jaw as she tightened her grip on her girlfriend's hand. Her shoulders had been raised in a defensive stance, seemingly protecting her neck from a predator who sought to pierce her arteries. "M-Mom, I-"

"What's going on?" Another voice drew everyone's attention and heads were immediately whirling towards the origin of the sound that came with rushed footsteps, apparently alerted by the tensed nature of the hot kitchen.

Sweat broke out of Lia's skin and was leisurely travelling from her jaw and tracing her neck. She closed her eyes upon inhaling a deep breath - taking cover beneath her lids and settling for averting the sight of disapproval that would most likely haunt her for all eternity. The knuckles of her and Kensi's hands were equally pale as the pressure built up in that critical, unyielding grip.

Deciding that it was already too hot, Lia carefully reached behind to shut the burners off without moving anything else but one arm. She feared that if she looked away, she might miss something important.

"I caught them kissing." Without much emotion albeit calmly, Jo informed the man who was finally a couple of steps away. Apart from a hint of condescension, there was no trace of distaste or repulsion from the woman's tone.

Mike's brows shot up at his wife's words. The apparent disbelief in his brown eyes could be spotted easily from where the young couple stood. The Lancaster patriarch took his time to join his wife and swung his arm behind her when he did. They had to look like a unit amid the situation which was the right thing to do.

"Well..." William began upon loudly clearing his throat. He momentarily glanced at his wife, somehow seeking approval and subsequently let out a huff as his eyes found his terrified daughter. "I wouldn't say I didn't think this would happen. I think the talk is in order, you two."

"But before that, Lia," Jo spoke up, looking at the youngest in the room who had visibly tensed but took the chance to look back for Kensi. "We would like to welcome you to the family."

The mischievous glint in Kensi's parents' eyes said that they were expecting their daughter's friendship with the brown-eyed brunette to blossom into something more. The Lancasters had been encouraging their children to discover themselves, pursue their dreams and become the person they were meant to be and their respective sexuality would never limit that.

There was a chorus of audible exhales from the younger couple's lips and before they could celebrate between themselves, Mike and Jo were enveloping them both in a tight embrace. Amongst the discomfort of practically being squished, Kensi and Lia were grinning, basked in pure joy.

Breakfast was probably the most interesting. Kensi's siblings were teasing them relentlessly while the two youngest ones were firing questions -asking if their dear Lia was their new sister who got to kiss Kensi. As the teasing continued, the couple continuously donned blushing cheeks which was another reason for the onslaught of mocking.

Siblings.

Regardless of the reaction, the effervescent Lancaster family was very supportive and Kensi and Lia couldn't have asked for anything more - well, maybe less teasing.

Over at Palm Grove High hours later, at least, five minutes before the first bell, Lia was leaning against the locker next to Kensi and watching her girlfriend rummage through the bright yellow rectangular compartment. It was a Monday again and the whole school was overflowing with sluggish students that were barely able to keep their eyes open, including Kensi.

It looked like a zombie apocalypse of zombies longing for sleep instead of brains.

Mondays seem to have a heavier burden to carry. In reality, the hallways were as bright as can be as in the middle of the weeks, or even Fridays, but students could only see the dreary walls that could very well be harboring cobwebs and dust, maybe even creepy vines.

"I'm really sorry about my family." Kensi muttered, frowning upon closing her locker with a click.

Lia chuckled, shaking her head in disagreement. If she was being honest, she would have chosen being hoarded by the entire Lancaster clan beet-faced than being ignored and shunned away as if she was the embodiment of a plague.

It was one of the best receptions in her opinion.

"It's okay. I'm just glad we don't have to hide from them." She expressed, pushing herself off the metal surface and lifted her hand to offer to her girlfriend who took it, intertwining their fingers together.

"That leaves your parents." Kensi acknowledged with a nod, dragging Lia towards her first class.

The thought of having to inform the Caseys was a bit unsettling to Kensi. Lia's parents loved Duke like their own and they might perceive Kensi and Lia's relationship as a betrayal or disrespect. And then the question on whether or not they would accept their daughter's sexuality. Furthermore, Lia was an only child and that in itself meant immense pressure on the girl's partner.

Kensi's mouth was immediately dehydrated at the thought.

"We can always swing by la-"

"Attention Amelia Casey:" A woman tediously announced through the intercom preceded by crackling noise of static which attracted everyone's attention, prompting them to look up. "Please report to the principal's office immediately. Thank you."

"What could that be?" Lia mumbled upon an inquisitive hum, slowly glancing towards her equally curious girlfriend.

The previous issue was temporarily set aside as both scrambled to find reason behind the request. The couple looked at each other, seemingly searching for answers in their eyes and eventually shrugged.

"It can't be bad." Kensi assured her confidently, without a speck of doubt. She lifted her free hand and prodded her index finger on Lia's cheek as she grinned. "My baby's a good student - the best."

The younger girl bit back a smile, forcing an unimpressed expression and sent her head back with an eye roll - conceding. It may have been delivered as a joke, but Lia knew there was sincerity buried behind the impish smirk. Kensi had always openly admired Lia's dedication and may have dropped some grouses about the latter having no time for her in the past.

"You're having lunch with us, yeah?"

Kensi let out a dejected huff as her playfulness died down and her smirk reduced to a small smile. She lifted her hand once again, tracing the bridge of her girlfriend's nose and proceeded to tuck stray hair behind her ear, not allowing it to litter her favorite olive features. There was a sigh that followed and the couple knew what Kensi was about to say.

"You have to tutor Jeremy today, my girlfriend."

"Right." Lia slumped her shoulders, slightly frowning at her girlfriend and squeezing her hand. "I'll see you after school then?"

"Fo sho." Kensi concurred spiritedly, copying her girlfriend's infamous words - both readily accepting the move to lighten the mood. "I'll see you later then."

"Why does it sound bad ass on you?" Lia stomped in defeat, incredible intrigued by Kensi's effortless appeal.

While in her classes, Kensi had counted the minutes until the end of the school day which was the worst she could have done as it created an illusion of time crawling slower. The lack of sleep was taking a toll on her, finding herself bobbing her head as she constantly lost her battle against her body's desire to indulge in deep slumber and school was the perfect avenue for sleeping.

It was four hours later when Kensi found herself around the blue round table Lia and her friends regularly occupy. It was a good change from sitting with chirpy cheerleaders that seem to never cease speaking, especially when her head was pounding that even her eyesight was pulsing. She might not just snap at them, she'd snap a neck or two.

Kensi had to make do with the ruckus that surrounded them, given the groups of friends that sat with each other and the riveting conversation they could engage in. It was easily another form of riot, with the loud noise but without the violence.

Kensi's forehead was against the royal blue surface, and her hands were holding onto a water bottle and a bottle of apple juice on the table. She did not wish to eat, thinking about how her stomach muscles would tire her out even more. Eyes sealed and ready to doze her free hour off, she was working on steadying her erratically beating heart that had been ignited by sleep deprivation but decided on taking a swig of water first.

Ice's tensed gaze was glued onto his phone while Landon's attention was lured elsewhere and his bright blue hues reflected a dreamy gaze. Both had abandoned their food, having no appetite and pushed their trays further into the table. Finally, Trevor was too hungry to even pay attention to his friends and he had been shoveling forkfuls of mac and cheese into his waiting mouth.

"Why do you look exhausted but weirdly happy at the same time?" Trevor queried when Kensi's face made an appearance. The boy wiped his mouth with a napkin and subsequently threw it onto his empty plate, his tray joining Landon and Ice's abandoned ones in the middle.

The sudden sound and motion lured the Phillips brothers' attention back to their friends and thankfully had heard His remarks. Curiosity claimed the boys and questions immediately arose within them, ready to spew them out and fish for answers.

"What did you two do last night?" Landon chirped in, leaning towards his right where Kensi sat opposite to Ice and gave the girl a perfect view of his stitched brows.

Sure enough, the excited halfback had something up his sleeve, juvenile mocking, no less. He nudged his brows suggestively as a smirk settled upon his lips. Setting his phone down onto the table, he clasped his hands before him.

"Baby making business? Do you want to talk about it? Need some advice? You can trust us. I am oddly curious about lesbian love making."

At the barrage of those evocative words, Kensi's horrified green eyes widened. She almost sprayed the water lodged in her mouth towards the grinning boys but had swallowed before slapping her hands onto her reddening features, hiding. If she was made of ice cream, she would have melted right then and there.

"Oh, my god." She shook her head vigorously, as if willing a nightmare away that were grinning like Cheshire cats and relentlessly present. Upon releasing her face, she huffed laboriously and mustered her most tenaciously evil stare but to no avail. "If I had known telling you guys we're dating would result into this, I would have kept it a secret until our fiftieth wedding anniversary."

The whole table broke out into fits of laughter while Kensi kept her head low, reluctant to show her embarrassed face. Instead, she pouted like a child being picked on by her friends, which the boys were not used to but found adorable nonetheless.

Kensi thought hell had to freeze over before she would willingly allow Lia's friends to tease her but there she was, surrounded by Ice who was tapping the table repeatedly, Landon who was clutching his belly and Trevor who had sent his head back, all taken over by their amusement and red-faced from laughing too much.

"Kensi." Ice mockingly sang while gasping for air, reaching to poke Kensi's arm on the table. "It's okay. It's normal to have urges."

"Guys. Guys. Give her a break." Trevor coaxed the Phillips brothers as he slowly became remorseful of the onslaught of laughter he brought upon mortified Kensi but was biting his lips that were pulling to form a smile in utter amusement.

It was a powerful tug of war.

"You started it." Landon choked out, slapping his teammate's arm and proceeded to wipe his eyes dry. He then flitted his attention back to wherever he was looking previously, thinking that the conversation had concluded.

It took a long moment for everyone to calm down while Kensi was still unconvinced of the cease in jovial sound that was more of a mockery towards her. She was waiting for one of the boys to slip up and create a domino effect on the other two. Regardless, she was welcoming the lighter change in the atmosphere surrounding them which used to be tensed and probably uninhabitable, especially after Landon's short-lived disdain.

"Hey, Kensi." Trevor suddenly broke the relative silence that was the only peace in the middle of the flamboyant cafeteria and the girl was bracing for another wave of bantering. His features exuded of a calmness and gratification. "Thank you for saving our asses last Saturday. I owe you."

"You've already thanked me enough, Trev." Kensi expressed, finally able to sit up straight, letting her shoulders down from the defensive posture. "Besides, Trey's a very sweet boy."

"I have an announcement." Ice interrupted before Trevor could say anything else, stopping him as the basketball varsity paused to gulp a necessary breath of air prior to speaking - or try to, at least.

It was Trevor's turn to slap his younger teammate who had not heard Ice speak as the blue-eyed boy was entranced by the sight before his eyes. Expectantly looking and waiting for Ice to begin the so-called announcement, the other three were stilled. Ice reached for his backpack by his feet and retrieved two shirts but only raised one to show his friends.

It was golden yellow with the school's soccer insignia printed on the front. Ice beamed brightly at his still confused friends who, despite Duke, had no idea what was going on. Cutting the suspense, Ice turned the shirt over to allow Kensi and the two other boys to read "Phillips" hovering above a number twenty one in royal blue.

Gasps flew out of three gaped mouths upon the unprecedented surprise and their flabbergasted eyes could not be any wider. It was simply impossible for the boy to split his body between soccer and football when he was training for the state championships, and the knowledge of how dedicated he was to the sport. No one was holding try outs, as well.

It was simply impossible.

Trevor was first to pierce get over all of their bewilderment, airing out his opinions as his brown eyes hid beneath tensed brows. "No way! You're on the other kind of football now?"

Ice nudged his brows in response, proudly smirking.

"Since when?" Landon shot next, setting both hands on the table and leaning over it as if to look at the shirt closer. There could be a clue in the broken strands of fabric.

"A week ago." Ice retorted, shrugging as if it was no big deal - because it wasn't. "I didn't want to say anything. Coach Torres just asked me to show up during one practice, he asked me to play and that was it. With the big game in two weeks, he couldn't really force me to train for soccer. Gotta impress the scouts if I want to get a free ride to college."

"How? They use legs and feet there and you don't cradle the ball in your hands." Kensi was simply confused. Given her lack of knowledge of the boy's hobbies apart from drinking and playing football, she was bound to be lost. "I think you don't have to worry about the scouts, though. You have established your presence since you started playing. Heck, I even noticed you."

"I've been playing just for fun for years but I love the other kind better. But thanks, Lancaster. I really appreciate it." Ice explained with a chuckle upon the wording of his new friend's question but was gratified by her words.

Holding both shirts up, Ice got up to his feet and offered the two t-shirts to the girl, the other one for his football games. "These are for you. I love Casey and all but it's my game. Stop wearing her track stuff." He jested and looked to the other two boys before descending back onto his chair. "Don't worry. You ladies get one, too."

"You're an honorary member of the Birdboys now, Kensi." Landon informed her jovially which was the least Kensi expected of him. He proceeded to look at the other two guys who understood the insinuation -all three lifted their water bottles.

"A..." Trevor began, smirking as he saw Kensi shrink in shame, attempting to tuck her head between her shoulders.

"Men!" The three eagerly exclaimed in a chorus and sent their heads back to guzzle some water which practically enticed bystanders' that Landon was readily scowling at.

"Very strange men." Kensi shook her head while she began to slouch, laughing as if she was in pain.

Ice's phone rattled nearby, lighting the screen up as a text notification flashed on it. Upon reading the name of the sender, his mood changed dramatically. Discomfort crawled his skin, weakening his strong arms as if they were nothing but flimsy straw. He was grateful he was already sitting, otherwise, he might just lose control of his balance.

Ice was instantly stiff and his mouth formed a tensed straight line, pounding the screen as he typed a reply.

"How about we go out for a celebration tonight?" Trevor suggested, slamming his empty water bottle down to the table in his excitement. "Just us five and maybe we can invite the other girls if you guys want."

"I can't, dude. Practice." Ice informed without glancing up at him, too invested in his cellphone. He was conspicuously uneasy, tensing his shoulders and his youthful disposition was immediately missed.

"Tonight, Ice, not after school. I'm pretty sure football and soccer doesn't extend 'til nine. You're not robots." Trevor clarified, suspecting an underlying problem behind his friend's demeanor.

It wasn't just Trevor who noticed. Kensi did, too. Landon would, if only his eyes weren't helplessly devoted elsewhere.

Ice would have jumped at the thought of a party.

"I...I-I...um...I'm busy." Ice stammered a response, averting everyone's doubtful gazes and settled for eyeing the ellipses on his screen that signaled a message was being composed.

Sweat began to prickle his skin when his chest relentlessly battered his ribs. He was aware that his friends were picking up on the sudden grim look on his features and the way he spoke to them but nothing was worse than the one he was dealing with encased in the bleak screen of his cellphone.

Ice was simply hoping and praying that his friends would understand.

His stress was insulting him and his frustrations were quickly transforming into anger and the next person would have to watch their words to prevent an outburst. Of the three that were with him, it was only Kensi that could say anything and he would not have thrown the table at her. Lia would be a bigger problem should he harm the girl's girlfriend in any way.

"With what?" Landon prodded innocently, only joining the conversation.

"Not your business, little brother." Ice snapped, gritting his teeth and glaring his hazel eyes at his brother who was leaning back away from him.

Kensi eyed her friend curiously. She was aware of a bigger picture, a bigger reason for Ice's sudden disinterest and Landon's attention span but was too sleepy to decipher the mystery and decided on doing it another day. She was about to bow her head down again, salvaging the minutes they had left at the cafeteria but was halted when the chair next to hers moved until a happily grinning Lia sat on it.

"Hey, friends!" She greeted jovially and sat her backpack onto her lap. She leaned towards Kensi and planted a quick kiss on her cheek. "And girlfriend. Good afternoon, sleepy head. Time to wake up."

No one said it, but they all were very appreciative of the interruption.

"How are you this...this lively?" Groaning, Kensi's conspicuous bafflement was obvious in her features, frowning as she looked at her girlfriend with half-lidded eyes. "We both only got four hours at most. I feel like death, baby."

Lia protruded her bottom lip, setting her hand over the porcelain cheek and running her thumb on the soft surface. Kensi would have purred like a cat, ready to risk her usually steadfast stance for her girlfriend. Lia always brought her softest side out and the younger girl never failed to admire it, which would have mended the soreness from the teasing Kensi would have had to endure.

"I know we just saw them kiss once before but I'm beginning to feel really grossed out about this." Ice commented suddenly but without a trace of his playfulness even amid his efforts which everyone took as his attempt at sarcasm albeit it being completely out of character.

"Are you sure nothing happened last night?" Trevor seconded, rocking his brows at Kensi who had narrowed her eyes at the boy. "We won't tell, Kens."

Kensi rolled her eyes but sighed heavily, not willing to undergo another round of suggestive looks but thankfully, her girlfriend came to the rescue. Lia wasn't aware she was rescuing a damsel in distress, though. Lia was more engrossed in what she was about to say.

"Oh, yeah! I have some news!" Lia announced excitedly with a smile that might just split her face in two, unable to pick up on previous insinuation. She perked up in her seat which startled her tired girlfriend and also persuaded Landon's responsiveness.

Landon looked back at Lia and nodded. She had discussed the information with the boy previously in one of their shared classes and he understood her hesitation. Lia could feel remorse coursing through her veins and could not fully celebrate knowing that Landon could feel left out.

"It's okay." Landon reassured her, smiling encouragingly. "I told you it's okay."

"So, this morning, I was called to the principal's office and we had a little talk. We were discussing my credits and extracurricular activities and he said to come back during lunch." Lia began, taking the time to connect her gazes with the four pairs of eyes that were curiously staring at her. "Because of certain things that I may want to apply for. I needed to create an application and everything."

"What application?" Kensi mumbled in her crumpled features, blinking incessantly to moisturize her dry eyes. "I've been in this school for four years and I have not heard of anyone applying for anything other than university applications and you’ve done yours."

Lia's heart raced, drawing a deep breath and molding her lips into a small smile. "To you know..."

"W-Whh..." Kensi's hand flew up to her mouth, incredibly surprised by what she had heard. She then launched herself towards her girlfriend and wrapped her arms around her tightly, feeling the prickle of tears. "Oh, my god! You’re in the running for valedictorian, aren’t you?"

Kensi was unbelievably happy even if the thought of them living separate lives worried her. She had done a lot of research on universities within or very close to Miami and forgetting about her dream university just so she could still live close and be at Lia's aid if her girlfriend decided to stay close to home.

The green-eyed girl was not particularly comfortable with the thought of them being miles apart. She would miss Lia too much.

Upon receiving a nod of confirmation from her girlfriend, Kensi remembered another person. It was the same dilemma, the conflict that muddled Lia's mind and heart. She pushed herself off the younger girl and looked towards the lone junior in the group, smiling sadly at him.

"Landon?"

"I'll be fine." He retorted and felt an arm over his shoulders as he was pulled towards Trevor.

He appreciated the couple's concern for him and Kensi's actions were only intensifying his remorse due to the little scene he caused in Trevor's house. It still plagued him two days after and he was certain that he would be bearing its burden for days, maybe weeks to come.

Who was he to stand in the way of love?

"You have a basketball team to lead, my boy!" Trevor expressed, nudging his friend who was chuckling and quietly hopeful of being awarded the captainship for the following year.

"Weren't you supposed to be with O'Neal?" Kensi quietly asked her girlfriend, almost whispering it in her ear. Her hand found Lia's knee and squeezed it tenderly.

"I asked to reschedule because I couldn't wait to tell you." Lia rummaged through her bag and pulled up a food container and set it in front of her girlfriend. "But he gave me some food."

The green-eyed brunette could only raise an inquisitive brow at Lia. Wondering how the specific bully could magically change into a sweet, harmless creature. More importantly, she could recall her horrific encounter with him during the first day of school. Kensi felt a little wary, wondering where his intentions could lead with her secretly fragile girl but hoping that Lia would be able to handle herself should a problem arise.

"Now, we really have to celebrate." Trevor insisted, c*****g his head sideways and raising his brows, looking at Ice. "What do you say, bro?"

"Why the hell not?" Ice half-heartedly spoke, knowing he could not get away from Lia's pestering should she suspect anything.

After the text message, Ice was never the same. He was quiet and not his usual playful self. His friends noticed him constantly cradling his phone in either hands, and each text message or call elicited the same reaction.

Ice was perturbed.

In the next couple of days, apart from their regular classes, Trevor and Landon were engaged in intensive basketball training, Ice's schedule mostly filled devising a brilliant football gameplay while Kensi and Lia had the Zephyr to worry about.

The group appreciated down time but Ice rarely joined them. It was rather peculiar and Kensi went as far as asking Diana about the boy who didn't have answers but oddly trusted Ice. It wasn't just that -Landon's attention span was diminishing and he barely interjected in their conversations. It was a different dynamic but nobody could complain with their separate responsibilities bearing them down.

The couple's relationship had been smooth sailing and they have been spending as much time with each other, taking comfort in the knowledge that they were both in the same room even when their faces were buried deep in a book.

Two weeks later, it was late October and there were events that the entire school had been preparing for, especially the ones involving sports. Lia successfully avoided the winter play Mr. Krauss, the director, had forced upon her given that she had been awarded the position of Editor-in-Chief for the Zephyr while Kensi became the lead sports writer.

It was another Friday, roughly eleven in the morning, and Lia's free period was booked. She was in for another tutoring session with Jeremy O'Neal. The pair had regularly met once or twice a week at the same spot in the library, where Lia enjoyed less student traffic.

Jeremy had been consistently nice to Lia and her friends and had not caused problems upon himself with Ice, Landon and Trevor ready to rearrange his bones. There was an apparent change in the boy's demeanor which made it impossible to compare the person he became around Lia and the repulsive reputation the guy carried around with adamant pride.

Specks of his arrogance occasionally floated but none too repulsive, and that was enough for Lia to last the hour or two - depending on their schedules.

The musty air swirled around the little corner and Lia was reading a feature article about student life in Palm Grove High and was right at the last paragraph and angrily huffing at the errors she had found. A sheet of paper dropped from above, landing over her hands that were securely holding her phone where she found a red mark enclosed by a circle.

"B minus!" Lia cheered a little too loudly, beaming as she looked up to find Jeremy freeing himself from the straps of his backpack. She was genuinely happy for the boy. "Wow! Good job!"

Since the beginning of their private meet-ups to study, Jeremy's grades had been improving. His Fs slowly transformed into Cs until he easily cruised towards Bs. Lia could not be more proud of her student and her hand mindlessly raised for a high five and the boy readily smacked it with his own.

"Yeah." Jeremy nodded, grinning profusely and shining with pride as he pulled a chair across the girl. "Thanks, Lia. I really appreciate all your help. I can't wait to show this to my mom!"

"She'll be thrilled! I'm so happy for you!"

"Yeah." He bashfully concurred, nodding incessantly as he tried to hide his flustered grin with the bowing of his head.

Jeremy had mentioned his mother's gratification for his grades, especially because his son was finally in his senior year. Being told that he could be held back broke her heart and inflicted a burden upon the single-mother with two more children below the age of ten. A high school diploma would go a long way.

It baffled Lia when suddenly Jeremy opened up to her. It was a week prior and she took the time to sit there and stare at the boy, dumbfounded. Lia desperately searched for a malevolence that he was merely saying things for deception but was proven wrong.

Jeremy reached for his backpack, which was on the next table and zipped it open. After taking out his Statistics book and notebook, along with a pen, he pulled out a familiar food container and offered it to Lia.

"I brought you lunch. It's for two-"

Lia stiffened, darting glances everywhere but those timid blue eyes. It may have been too arrogant but she assumed the boy was hitting on her, flirting with her, or trying to win her through her stomach. She was not one to raise a person's hopes and lift them up only to let go when they are high up in the air.

"Relax." Jeremy chuckled, nudging the clear food container towards the younger girl. "I know. I'm not hitting on you or anything and it's not because you're not attractive. But there's two there, for you and Kensi."

"How did you-" Lia shook her head and waved her hand dismissively, deciding on giving up with asking how the boy found out. "Never mind. What about you though?"

Apart from their handholding or super glued hugs, Lia had not necessarily initiated a kiss or anything that would tell that world that was looking at them that they were bound by something beyond friendship. She felt guilt rippling from within when she realized that she and Kensi were close to their one-month mark and she had not done anything to express her feelings for the green-eyed girl in public. Other people's opinion might not matter to her but she was aware of how Duke treated Kensi.

It was an unsettling discovery and she figured her girlfriend was merely being understanding and never attempted pressing her lips against Lia's which the younger girl found to be unfair on Kensi.

Kensi deserved so much more.

However, the knowledge that other people not included in her circle knew alleviated the burden to an extent.

"Oh, don't worry about me. I'm fine." Jeremy assured her, leaning back on his back rest and peeled his notebook to where his scribbled notes laid.

Lia gathered her brows to the middle, eyeing the boy suspiciously as she smirked. "Are these poisoned?"

"You did eat the sushi I gave you last time, right?" He prodded, lifting an inquisitive brow which was more his attempt at dissecting information.

'Yeah, I did. Kensi loved it. Thanks again for it."

"And you didn't die, right?" Jeremy pushed his head towards the table, looking at Lia with a youthful glow in his features.

Brows climbing up her forehead, she released an amused huff, quickly finding a way through the conversation. "That might not have been poisoned as a decoy but this could be.

"I can't lose the best tutor in the school."

"Good to know." Lia mumbled more to herself as her lips tugged to reveal a genuine smile. She clapped her hands together and rubbed them vigorously. "So...ready for statistics?"

"No." The boy retorted with conviction, chuckling his frustrations away. "If I was to be given a choice, I wouldn't even think about math."

The pair commenced their lesson, Lia giving the boy personal tricks and pointers as per usual which had made Jeremy's life a little easier. She could not be happier to have seen the boy grinning with no trace of contempt or hidden agenda. She may not say it explicitly but she would consider the boy as her friend and might invite him to little parties with her Birdboys.

In all the twice a week tutoring meetings, Lia could spot something that looked oddly familiar in Jeremy but could not necessarily piece it with her memories of him. They never hung out nor talked prior to their "professional" engagement. They had bumped into each other along the school corridors and hallways but the younger girl had never once paid the boy no mind, not even a second glance upon confirming who he was.

But then, they were forced into those study sessions and the close proximity had Lia acquainted with the boy's features that got her curiosity running wild.

Something in him spoke to her, a familiar that she had known all her life.

What it was? She didn't know but needed to know.

Maybe clarity wasn't what she sought for. Maybe Lia was contented with merely ignoring even when she had not necessarily forgotten. Maybe she was fine with the illusion of strength and bravery that she displayed for the people she loved. Maybe she was better off in denial when the avalanche of truth came shaking the ground beneath her feet and devouring all in its path.

Maybe it was better to live a lie because Lia was not ready to face reality.

People walking past seemed like blurry images, rapidly shooting from one way to another, overwhelming Lia. All of them were in a simple blue shirt that was too ordinary to make a statement but it wasn't the color that got to Lia. Her mouth had instantly dried up and her throat suddenly grew thorns considering swallowing proved to be a little too painful as she inspected the large font in bright yellow printed on the back.

It the number eleven and sitting above it was a name that she never thought she'd see apart from the framed jersey in the soccer coach's office.

#11, Hunt.

Lia was unconsciously tapping her finger repeatedly onto the desk, each strike harder than the last which drew the boy's attention who was solving an equation. The force of her assault might as well puncture a hole through the timber structure which was her body's way of coping with the angst and trepidation that was bubbling wildly within her.

Lifting his head up, Jeremy looked baffled but worried at the same time and exposed his eyes.

And there it was, whatever was bothering Lia in all the times she glanced at the boy's harmless face.

Pale blue eyes.

They were the eyes that tenderly stared at Lia all her life. The color reflected security and safety that always quelled her worries but suddenly betrayed her as she stared at Jeremy presently, knowing that the ones she really knew will forever be hidden behind cold closed eyelids. It was hauntingly familiar that it looked almost as if Duke's irises had been wedged onto Jeremy's sockets with a sole purpose of rendering Lia helpless to her knees and force her to grieve.

It was a one-two punch combination that very well delivered its intimidating strength to Lia's agitated heart. But she was not losing just yet. She thought she could endure it when her willpower was fairly strong until one more call from reality came knocking at her door through the intercom of the same disinterested woman of the principal's office.

"Attention students: you are all invited to come out to the field for the first soccer game of the season at three thirty in the afternoon. In light with that, all soccer varsities are excused from their classes. Furthermore, the Principal and Coach Torres of the soccer team would personally like to invite you all to join us in a ceremony at three to honor the late, Duke Matthew Hunt, last year's starting center-forward. Thank you."

Amid her disarrayed mind and heightened anxiety, Lia pushed herself up from the chair and propelled forward with nothing but the phone in her pocket - wobbling until she regained balance. She swallowed hard as she trudged away from the table with one intention, to find relief, wherever it might be. Her weakened legs grew heavier, straining her leg muscles and slowed her down. It was as if she was in a dream and her futile attempts at increasing speed mocked her amid grueling hours of running before the sun rose.

She could faintly hear Jeremy's frantic calls but it was nothing compared to her wildly beating heart that was insignificant as the voices in her head became louder, isolating her from the world.

Lia's lungs seemed to have been giving out and she was struggling to breathe while her chest tightened, like she was physically restrained. Furiously panting and racing against her rapid and suffocating pulse, her clammy hands began to tremble as she was enveloped with a coldness biting at and paling her olive skin. Her frightened brown eyes widened in pure terror and her vision began to blur and dim as she desperately whirled her head in search for a way out.

It was as if she was being haunted by a demon that she was unable to shake off by herself. She could not outwit it, and she sure as hell could not outrun it when it dwelled within, maybe even ruled her head.

The farther she got, she felt as though she was a train, coursing through a tunnel and nearing the brightness at the end and who she saw shining there was her salvation.

Lia needed someone - a specific someone. The world spun along with her muddling vision when her heart directed her towards the exit. Pummeling carelessly through the double doors, she parted them in half to find three perplexed boys whose wide eyes bulged out, mortified by the sight that they were never prepared to see.

Brown eyes harbored excessive moisture that was just about to spill out, she willed herself to expose her vulnerability before her three pairs of eyes.

Pushing the biggest lump in her throat to oblivion, Lia croaked out, "Where's Kensi?"