The Alpha's Burning Desire

The Wolfless Alpha.

"You look a little ehh... a little exhausted," he says as we make our way into the depths of the forest. Simply I scoff paying no mind to his negativity as I navigate my through the tall trees, bearing huge branches that blocked the way every now and then. "You know you could just take a break. There's no reason to try and keep up with the rest of us. We can understand if you're not u..."

" So now you care about my physical health?" I finally respond annoyed already by his presence. Him being next to me was just like carrying a heavy cross over my shoulders, it would be the death of me. And yet again despite all that, he's my...

"Of course I care. You're my brother," he says. The bane to my mouth. I most certainly never needed a brother like him. Well we were cool once, even best friends but over the years we grew more distant.

I loved him so much, but I couldn't say that anymore. I understand my father glorified me more than him, but I didn't care. He was still my brother, and wouldn't let anything ruin that.

Now the tables have turned, he's daddy's little boy while I'm only a disappointment.

I'll tell you how it started. It started long ago when my father used to love me so much more than anything. He was still an Alpha and the best yet. Our pack, respected by my many and feared by all.

I'm the first born son, heir to the throne and so I was always expected to take the title on my 18th birthday. It was not a big deal. I mean my father taught me everything an Alpha needed. I have it all, except one thing. The most important part of being a wolf. All those are just meaningless, if I don't have the one thing that makes me a werewolf. Well that's what they think.

See I grew under my father's wing. We would do all kinds of things together. Training, hunting, attending all those awesome parties and all those fun things you can do with your father. And most of the time my brother would be locked out. Believe me I tried to convince him to, but he believed my brother didn't deserve such treatment. Only I deserved 'the future Alpha' deserved all the attention, until now.

I tried by all means to make my brother feel not left even though at times my efforts would seem pointless. I still couldn't feel the void left by my father.

Like every other wolf, at the age of 13 I was supposed to shift. Most wolves start their shifts at their teens. Shifting being like a stage of puberty, in some it can be late or early. But if you're an Alpha's son like me that rule doesn't really apply, I'm supposed to get my wolf at the age of 13, or at an earlier age that would be wonderful.

Well guess what? I'm two times that age now, with two more years added on top of that. Goddess I'm reaching my 30s now, and still nothing. Not even a glimpse of a sign.

Me being wolfless was actually not a big fuss. They just believed I'm a late bloomer and my time would come eventually. I was the best after all, even without my wolf.

Unlike me, my lil bro did get his wolf at the age of 13. My father started to notice him, but he was still obsessed with his first born son.

I got the position, and was hopped after that I would get my wolf. Nothing happened. Surely they thought they were doomed, and my father swore everyone to secrecy about his damned son. I mean I'm the definition of "embarrassment" that I don't have a wolf.

My father's pride and dignity would be mud on the streets if they ever knew his son was wolfless. The packs name, would be shreds of dust if they ever knew it's Alpha had no wolf.

My brother would pose as me, if it ever happened that I should be in my wolf form.

A big golden brown werewolf would come along and everyone would believe it's me, whilst on the covers it's just my brother.

It was an easy way, I mean my brother's scent and I are pretty hard to distinguish for someone who hasn't known us for long.

Though my brother grew out of it. He was tired of being my tool trying to prove to everyone I have a wolf.

He decided to sabotage everything, in the hopes my father would choose to make him Alpha and strip away my title.

At first, my father just got angry at his stunt for ruining his reputation. Now everyone knew that this pack was lead by a weak Alpha. Well that's what they seem to think.

The past three years, we've been facing attacks left and right. They thought I wouldn't be able to fight for my pack. And yet again, biting a wolf or snapping the head is not the only way to kill a wolf.

Since I got my position, I decided to start building my own thing at the side. It seemed like nothing at first, which none payed attention to.

Though I knew my werewolf intelligence would come of good use. The company is far in the city, where there mainly less werewolves because of the insane population of humans. Though humans are not that bad, with their good team work I came up with a successful company. With the best technology, and where you would find any kinds of gadgets. Carrying every weapon capable of killing, a wolf.

When the attacks started, I guess I was already prepared. Guns and granites are usually tools for the human hunters . But those granites, and silver bullets seemed way more effective. Not to mention, I might not have a wolf but I do have wolf genes. My natural intelligence does come in handy. And I'm still faster, stronger than any human or most werewolf in human form and my healing powers better than any wolf.

My diligence and ingeniousness helps win many battles, and I'm still the best when it comes to leading a pack. Yes I don't have a wolf, but most warriors of the pack are trained by me, every skill they know they took from me. Even how to effectively use their own wolves, they learned under me and yet it seems to be a problem that I don't have a wolf.

It's like I said, all those works are nothing to a werewolf eye, if you don't the only thing that makes you a werewolf.

It's like being a doctor without a license. I can be the best doctor that has ever lived, and yet without my license all my works are just in vain. I'm just a detective without his badge. No can ever take me seriously.

Sure my brains and gadgets have my back, but it still didn't change how they see me as weak. Actually, they just make them see me more human. Compared to their worst enemies, the hunters.

Sometimes I just I wish I had my wolf so everyone wouldn't be so hard on me.

Even my father now, has grown very cold. He doesn't miss a chance to tell me how much of a disappointment I am.

Worse thing is, he's my brother's best friend now. Now I know exactly how it feels to be left out. I know exactly how it feels to not matter to the people you're supposed to call family. Not anyone acknowledging your efforts no matter how hard you try. To be the black sheep of the family? Now I know exactly how it feels, and it's the worst feeling ever. I may not show, but each an everyday I feel like a piece of me is being ripped off and eventually the wouldn't be anything left.

And I would have at least expected my brother to be there for me as I was, but he seems to be the one to push me further the most. I mean I do everything for him. I even gave him a sit at my company, because he's my brother.

And yes they started acknowledging the company now since it's the biggest thing in the world. Now they see it, since they benefit their bellies from it.

Do I get a thank you for it? No! They just enjoy the fruits of my hard labor. Just eating from the tree with no gratitude to the farmer.

" Nathan! How's my little boy?" He welcomes Nathan, a scrunched smile on his face . His eyes then fall back to my figure loathing to wrest my heart from chest with his bare hands. I always knew a part of him just wanted to finish me so he could live peacefully with his suddenly perfect son. " I see you've brought your brother with you." He frigid voice grumbles along the wave of anger. " I don't think it's good to keep reminding yourself how much of disappointment you're, " he adds. I don't answer them, I just move to the other side my eyes solely focused on the boy wailing in pain.

Yes, today I was yet here to witness another shift. My father's words correct. It only reminds me how much I failed in life.

Kept a still face watching everything. It looks like the most painful experience, but I can't help by see myself in the same situation.

"Don't fight it Leo! Let your wolf take control!" Beta Xander shouted as they help the little boy to his first shift.

He roars with immense pain. You could hear every crack of the bone to form the new creature. It was terrifying to watch and yet satisfying. He was finally becoming a werewolf.

"You're almost there! Just let your wolf take control and will be all over!" They encourage giving all the support they can. After all, there isn't much they can do it's all up to the shifter.

He cradles on the ground a place where he's going to get his wolf for the first time. To be reborn into a man.

Finally he's replaced with a beautiful creature with chocolate brown fur, just as the color of his head.

I wonder mine would look like? After all this years it has no excuse looking like an old door mat.

His howl indicates the painful experience was now over. The crowd goes wild with cheers, applauding the newly shifted wolf.

Though the wolf just wildly runs into the forest, away from all the commotion.

All the wolves gather around him, all already shifted. They all went further into the forest keeping a close eye on him.

They say they are going to praise and thank the Moon Goddess for her gifts.

I was not allowed to take part since I had not shifted. I was left to watch with all the other young boys who had not shifted.

It's believed when you go without having a wolf it's a curse and you will never have a wolf in your entire life.

Of course it's not true, but it's still a reason why others believe I'm cursed.

The actual reason is to keep an eye on the newly shifted wolf since they still have no control of themselves. To train them how to gain control over their wolves or else we're at risk hunters finding out secret.

I was exhausted, that I couldn't even wait for them to come back and just went back to my room. Waiting for the celebration to be finally over. I was really tired after all the training and surely needed a rest.

My sleepy body is woken by the sound of the door as it cracks open.

"Really? You didn't go to Leo's celebration? For an Alpha you're being very snobbish," the footsteps were accompanied by Valeria's voice. She's my mate, wife and Luna of this pack. We've been in love from day one. Even before we knew we were mates. With our bond it was clear to the blind that we would be mates.

The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Her strawberry blonde hair waved to perfection. Her hazel eyes were a radiating brown sun warmed with inner gold.

My rock, a person there for me through thick and thin. Not only my love but my best friend. She understands me better than anyone. She supports and encourages me to be a better version of myself. The only girl I've ever loved and probably the only girl I'll ever love. She's a place where I found comfort and peace when everyone else pushed me away.

I'm truly blessed to have her by my side and wouldn't trade our bond for anything else.

But lately. Lately she's been distant. We barely have time together. I understand things are tight and she's the one who looks after the company when I'm here helping and training everyone.

The training had frequent lately since we seem prone to attacks. I was trying so hard to make sure everyone is ready when ever the attacks start again.

"I've been not feeling myself lately. I think it's because of the training," I reply relaxing back on my pillow as I stare at the white ceiling.

"Still. You know how important that ceremony was to the Henson family. And you just showed them their Alpha doesn't care, " she responds as she shuffle through her clothes.

"I do care for each everyone in the pack. I always break my back for this pack. Why is that no ever sees my efforts?" I question still facing up to the empty space.

" It's your job. You can't call your job efforts, " she says making her way into the blankets. Her beautiful lavender and velvety scent beyond resistance. It was so sweet and inviting.

"So how's work?" I ask as I switch my position to cuddle up with her.

"Work is fine," she responds pushing me away before turning her back on me. So strange and uncommon. And mostly just heart breaking.

"Oh-ohkay..." I say though inquiring to her reaction.

"I'm tired Gerald," she says in chilled tone

" You're always tired." My voice trumpeting with a remark that she's made tiredness her everyday excuse. I don't want to say she's a werewolf and can't be tired but she can't tire more than I. Can she?

"You think it's my fault? Why wouldn't I be? since I'm the one doing the most in this pack," she speaks with indifference.

" Is everything okay Valeria? " I ask worriedly.

"Not now Gerald." She destroys all my efforts to know if everything was good between the two of us.