THE FORGOTTEN SPRING

CHAPTER 4

"THE FORGOTTEN SPRING"

by: Dark Flame Master

KAI'S POV

Just like every day, here I am walking to school. I tell myself it’s fine just looking at her from afar, but honestly, it’s not. I wish the thing about her going out with someone was just a joke. Even if it is, someone will eventually take her away from me if I keep being scared to make a move.

So, I’ve decided. I’ll confess to her today.

I don’t care if she thinks I’m annoying or strange. I’m scared—so what? I can’t live my whole life being scared. But, as much as I try to hype myself up, I know saying things and doing them are two very different things.

I let out a shaky sigh as I entered the classroom.

"Kai, Hontou ni ashita ikanai no? (A/N:Kai, are you really not going tomorrow?) Hana asked, leaning toward me with a pout.

“No,” I replied, opening my bag. I pulled out a small, neatly wrapped box and handed it to Cyrus. “Here, it’s your gift.”

Cyrus grinned as he took it. “Oh, thanks! I’m gonna open it now,” he said excitedly, already tearing at the wrapping.

“Ehh? Why would you do that? It’s better to open it after you go home!” Kerk said, rolling his eyes. He handed his own gift to Cyrus with a smirk. “Here, it’s from me.”

Cyrus blinked at him. “A gift? Why would you give it today? Are you not coming tomorrow either?”

“No, stupid, of course I’m going,” Kerk said, and I heard him mutter under his breath, “Baka.” (A/N: i***t)

Meanwhile, Hana was pouting, crossing her arms. “Doesn’t this make me look bad? I’m the only one who didn’t bring a gift today,” she said dramatically.

Cyrus tried to comfort her. “H-Hana-chan, that’s okay. Let’s just celebrate my birthday tomorrow.”

“Hey, enough about that,” Kerk said, looking annoyed, though I wasn’t sure if I imagined it. “The teacher’s here.”

.

.

.

.

Lunch came, and we headed to the cafeteria like we always did. As we were eating, I saw her—Eli. She was walking with a guy.

“Hey, look, it’s her,” Kerk said, nudging me.

I didn’t need to look again. I’d already noticed her, but I couldn’t stop myself from hoping. Maybe they’re just friends, I told myself. Yeah, maybe. I quickly looked down at my food and kept eating, but the three of them wouldn’t stop talking about her and the guy.

I couldn’t handle it. My chest felt tight, and it was getting harder to breathe. I shoveled the rest of my lunch down and left the cafeteria in a rush.

When I got back to the classroom, it was empty. I opened my bag and pulled out the letter I wrote last night. It felt heavier than paper should. My hands shook as I placed it carefully under her desk.

I’m going to confess to her. No matter what.

As I was about to leave, I heard a voice behind me.

“Um… Kai, what are you doing?”

I turned quickly and saw Cyrus standing there.

“N-nothing,” I stammered. My heart was pounding, but thankfully, he didn’t press further. He just gave me a curious look and walked away.

The day felt like a blur after that. I couldn’t focus on anything, not the lessons, not the chatter around me—nothing. All I could think about was the letter. Would she read it? Would she come to meet me?

School ended, and I found myself standing nervously behind the gym. The letter had asked her to meet me here.

I kept pacing, clutching my hands together to stop them from shaking. My mind was racing. What if she didn’t come? What if she laughed at me?

But then, I heard footsteps.

My heart leaped when I recognized her voice.

“Huh? Oh, someone said I should meet them here,” Eli said.

“Really? Who?” another voice replied.

Wait. That voice—it wasn’t hers. It was a guy.

“I don’t know. Look, I found this under my desk earlier,” she said.

My chest tightened as I realized they were talking about my letter.

“Isn’t that a love letter?” the guy teased. “Doesn’t he know you already have me?”

What? My breath caught. My mind froze.

She’s… really going out with him?

“Oh, come on, don’t say it like that,” Eli said, but she was laughing. Laughing.

It felt like a knife twisting in my chest.

“There’s no one here,” the guy said after a moment.

“Maybe it’s just a prank,” Eli replied.

A prank? Is that what she thought of me?

As their voices faded and their footsteps grew distant, I stayed frozen. My legs felt weak, and my vision blurred as tears welled up in my eyes.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I ran.

I didn’t know where I was going. I just needed to get away. The pain in my chest was unbearable, like my heart was being crushed. I kept running until I found myself at the park, under the sakura trees.

I collapsed onto the bench, tears streaming down my face. Every day, I found myself in the same spot, secretly watching her, wishing for just a glance in my direction. I imagined what it would be like if she knew how much I cared for her, if she could see the love in my eyes. But deep down, I felt the painful truth.

“It hurts,” I muttered, clutching my chest. “Konna ni tsurai.” (A/N: it hurts so much)

I wanted to believe I was okay. I wanted to tell myself I’d move on, that it didn’t matter. But my body betrayed me. The tears wouldn’t stop.

“Why does something bad always happen to me in spring?” I whispered to myself, my voice breaking. I looked up at the cherry blossoms swaying gently in the breeze. "Minna haru ga daisuki dakedo, boku wa kirai. Daikirai da!!!" I said as loud as I could. (A/N: Everyone loves spring so much, but I hate it. I hate it so much!!!.)

I buried my face in my hands, crying harder than I had in years.

“I hate myself,” I said, my voice trembling. “I hate myself the most.”

No matter how much I wanted to be brave, no matter how much I wanted to change, I couldn’t. I was stuck—scared, broken, and alone.

And as the petals fell around me, I felt like nothing would ever change.