I Stopped Being A Coward, I Rule Now

Half a minute before the dive started, Mila Larson shot Sebastian Graves a look. He got the message immediately. At the exact same moment, they both let go of my safety line and swam back toward shore, leaving me alone in the freezing water. Sebastian stood at the edge of the beach with that easy smile of his. "Mila says you're scared to get in the water. The only way to get over a fear is to face it. So this time, you're doing it on your own." The seawater rose past my chin. The fear inside me swelled with it, bigger and bigger, until all I could do was thrash and fight to keep myself above the surface. Mila stood there with her phone up, filming every second of it. She was laughing so hard she could barely stay upright. Sebastian leaned down and murmured something in her ear. I was too far away to hear him, but I knew exactly what it had to be. "Okay, stop laughing at her. Tessa's scared to get in the water." That was always how it went. I had been afraid of water for as long as I could remember, and this was always how the two of them claimed they were helping me. In elementary school, during swim lessons, Mila pulled the plug from my float ring and dragged Sebastian back to the side of the pool, leaving me flailing in the water by myself. In middle school, on a rafting trip, Mila used her paddle to shove me off the raft, and Sebastian pushed the life jacket drifting toward me even farther away. In college, we went to the beach. Mila tricked me into going out too far, then left me there. Sebastian stood on shore and watched the waves drag me under. That time, I almost drowned. Every single time I made it back to land, I was shaking so hard I could barely stand. Every single time, Mila just laughed. And every single time, Sebastian stood in front of her and said the same thing. "All right, that's enough. Stop messing with her." But somehow, his "stop messing with her" always ended up becoming the joke Mila used on me the next time. The cold water climbed higher over my body. The pressure in my chest sharpened. My lungs burned. And then, all at once, something inside me went still. For the first time, I wasn't afraid. When I finally broke the surface, they both reached out to pull me in. I ignored them and dragged myself onto the shore alone. "I don't need either of you to help me get over this anymore." ***** Sebastian laughed and ruffled my soaking hair. "What, did that scramble your brain? You're still terrified of water, and now you've gone stupid on top of it?" Mila punched him lightly in the arm. "Hey. Don't talk about Tessa like that. You're the stupid one." I pushed the wet hair out of my face, looked at the two of them joking around together, and said it as plainly as I could. "This isn't helping me. You've both just been making fun of me." Mila's smile vanished instantly. "Tessa, that's such a horrible thing to say. I've been trying to help you every single time. How did that turn into me making fun of you? Fine. If that's what you think, I'll go dive right now." She turned and started toward the deep-water zone. Sebastian shot me an irritated look and immediately grabbed her arm. "Cut it out. Last time you almost got hurt diving. I'm going with you." I stood there on the sand and did not move. Because right before I got into the water, he had said something very different to me. "Can you please grow up? It's been this many years, and you're still scared to get in the water. It's just a shallow dive area. You do not need someone holding your hand." By the time they came back up, Mila was glowing with excitement the second she pulled off her mask. "Oh my God, it's so much fun when someone goes snorkeling with you. Tessa, did you see that? It wasn't even scary!" 'Of course it was easy for her. She had someone with her. Who was with me?' Sebastian looked over at me, finally noticing that my face had gone blank. "You're still upset? Fine. How about this? We'll go in with you once." But this time they picked the two-person dive pod. A sign hung at the entrance: "Couples Only." Inside, the two people had to face each other and hold on tight, or the pod would tilt on the way down. Another line was etched into the hatch: "Trust your life to the person you trust most." Sebastian looked up at me. "You were already freaking out earlier. Mila and I should take this one." Then the two of them laughed and headed for the water together. I thought the whole thing was almost funny. Whenever they wanted entertainment, my fear became the punchline. I stared at them as they prepared to go under. Then I said, "Sebastian, let's call off the engagement next Friday."