[FILIPINO] My Irreplaceable Flower

Chapter One

DAGUNDONG ng magkasabay na tunog ng musika at hiyawan ng mga tao ang pumupuno sa concert venue na iyon ngunit hindi alintana ni Helena kahit pa pakiramdam niya ay tila mababasag na ang eardrums niya. Mukhang siyang-siya naman kasi ang dalawa niyang kasama – ang pinakamahahalaga niyang kayamanan sa buhay.

She smiled as her daughters danced with utmost glee while part-screaming, part-singing the lyrics of the song. Nasa VIP section sila ng international music festival na iyon. Several bands here and abroad were gathered to perform on a single stage. Buong araw silang naghintay para sa pagtatanghal ng bandang Seed, kung saan ang Japinoy niyang kaibigan na si Shinji Ninomiya, ang gitarista. Ito ang huling magpe-perform bago sumalang sa stage ang main act ng music festival.

“You're the best, Uncle Shin!” sigaw ng bunso niyang si Kimbel. While her elder daughter, Kandi, was just doing a little happy dance of her own.

Sa unang tingin ay hindi maiisip ninuman na magkapatid ang mga ito. Lalong higit ang maisip na halos sabay na lumabas ang mga ito mula sa iisang sinapupunan. Born merely two minutes apart, Helena's five-year-old twin daughters were as different as night is to day. Yet they are equally loved by the mother who raised them single-handedly since birth.

At kung mayroon pang isang ipinagkakaparehas ang dalawa, iyon ay ang pagkagiliw ng mga ito sa kaibigang gitarista ni Helena. Shin even dubbed the two critters as his biggest, “number one” fans. Isang katangiang madalas sabihin ng mga nakakakilala kay Helena na namana ng mga ito sa kanya – ang pagiging isang “true blue fangirl”.

Nang matapos ang set ng Seed ay initsa ni Shin sa gawi nila ang dalawang guitar pick at kumindat sa kanya habang sumesenyas na tatawagan siya. SeeD was said to be the independent rock band to watch out for. They were currently penetrating the mainstream music industry and has continuously gained a huge following. Malamang ay maraming reporters mula sa mga music magazines ang dudumog sa mga ito matapos ang performance na iyon.

Nakadalo silang mag-iina sa music festival na iyon dahil sa imbitasyon ni Shin at ayon dito ay may isa pa itong sorpresa sa kanya bago matapos ang gabi. Excited man siya sa sorpresa ng kaibigan, mas higit niyang hinihintay ang pagtatanghal ng main act.

Nagdilim muli ang stage at natahimik ang mga tao. Yet excitement rose anew inside Helena's chest. It was what she called “the calm before the storm”. Sa tagal ng panahong nagpupunta siya sa mga concert at music festival, alam na alam na niyang pinakamaingay at pinaka-excited ang mga nanonood sa main act na siyang kahuli-hulihang magpe-perform. 

Helena was one with the crowd in waiting with bated breath for the final artist to perform on the festival's stage.

Hindi nagtagal ay muling pumailanlang ang baritonong tinig ng radio DJ na nagsisilbing emcee ng programa. Ang mga salitang sinasabi nito ay hindi rumerehistro sa pandinig niya dahil nagsimula nang bumilis ang t***k ng kanyang puso. 

Ah. The five-year long wait is definitely worth it. 

Helena was too absorbed in staring at the darkened stage when she felt someone tug at the hem of her shirt. Tila ba noon lang siya natauhang yumuko sa humihila sa kanyang damit. “What is it, Kim?”

“Nanay, Kandi said she needs to pee po.”

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ni Helena at tiningnan ang panganay na katabi ng bunsong nagsalita. Kung si Kandi ang nababanyo, bakit si Kimbel pa ang nagsabi sa kanya? Her older daughter never needed anyone else to voice out her thoughts for her. “Oh, okay. Tara, I will join you two.”

Ngunit umiling lamang si Kimbel. “No, Nanay. It's okay. Kami na lang po ni Kandi ang pupunta doon. I know you're waiting for the next band to perform and you might miss it if you come with us po.” nakangiting tugon nito sa sinabi niya. 

As if on cue, a video suddenly played on the big screens around the event venue. Isang trademark iyon ng mang-aawit na main act ng naturang festival, ang magpalabas muna ng isang short film bago magsimula ang performance nito. Nagsimula muling lumakas ang hiyawan ng mga manonood.

Helena was torn. May alinlangan pa rin sa isip niya na hayaang umalis ang dalawa nang hindi siya kasama. Ngunit inunahan na siya ni Kandi. “Nanay, I really need to go po. Don't worry too much because we're big girls na po.”

Dahil doon ay tila nabawasan ang agam-agam sa dibdib ni Helena. Kandi had always been the mellower and more level-headed of the two. Whereas, Kimbel was the impulsive one who always gets herself and sometimes even her sister into trouble. But with Kandi at the helm, she somehow felt calm.

She smiled and lightly patted the two girls on top of their heads. “Go. Bilisan lang ninyo bumalik, okay? Kandi, don't let go of Kim's hand. You, too, Kim.”

Magkasabay na tumango at nag-“Yes, Nanay.” ang dalawa bago mabilis na naglakad patungo sa direksiyon ng mga portable toilets. Nag-aalalang nakasunod pa rin ang tingin niya sa mga ito nang pumailanlang ang pamilyar na violin intro ng isang kanta kasabay ng nakabibinging hiyawan ng mga tao, lalo na sa bahagi ng mga kababaihan. Agad na dumako ang paningin ni Helena sa entablado. Her heart skipped a beat when she caught a glimpse of a certain man's figure cloaked in smoke and shadows. At nang magliwanag ang buong stage, pakiramdam ni Helena ay huminto sa pag-inog ang buong mundo.

Genesis and his support band, Chapter Three took the stage and the singer was absolutely owning it.

GENESIS never failed to take Helena's breath away whenever she watched him perform on her computer or TV screen. Pero ibang klase pa rin pala ang mapanood itong mag-perform ng live. Genesis gave new meaning to 'making love to the audience'. It's as if he was literally doing so. Mesmerizingly hypnotic, that was how he felt like to Helena. His mere presence commanded all of her attention.

She had been a fan of Genesis since she was in high school. Back then, he was still part of the independent rock band, Mirages. Nabighani siya sa buong-buo ngunit humahagod na tinig nito at sa liriko ng mga awit na ito ang sumulat. For some reason, most of Genesis' lyrics were tinged with the sadness of losing someone. Hindi alam ni Helena, ngunit sadyang may panghalina sa kanya ang mga awitin nito sa kabila ng kalungkutang nasasalamin sa mga iyon. One thing's for sure though. It was Genesis' songs that carried her through the ups and downs of her somewhat lonely adolescent life.

A couple of years after he became Mirages' vocalist, news of disbandment shocked the fandom. Ayon sa mga balita, ang dahilan daw ay ang hindi pagkakasundo ng opinyon ni Genesis at ng ibang miyembro ng banda. Umalis si Genesis sa banda at hindi nagtagal, pumutok naman ang balitang nag-asawa na pala ito noong nagsisimula pa lamang sumikat ang Mirages. Rumor has it that the wife was the real reason why the singer left the band. Isang pribadong indibidwal diumano ang napangasawa nito at kababata pa nito. The woman was never publicly seen, though, whether with or without Genesis and he remained ever so tight-lipped about his private life despite being a public figure.

As if to stave off the rumors about his wife being the reason he left the limelight, Genesis started to launch his solo musical career with his support band, Chapter Three. He brought with him a chunk of Mirages' fan base when he went solo which brought about his meteoric rise to fame.

The Genesis of that time seemed too unreachable for Helena. He was beginning to carve his name internationally while she was still struggling to survive college. Magkagayunman, hindi nagbago ang pagmamahal niya sa musika nito bagkus ay tila lalo pa ngang lumago dahil hindi lamang ang musika nito ang natutunan niyang mahalin kundi maging ito mismo bilang tao, bilang isang lalaki. Iyon ay noong mga panahong hindi na niya inaasahan pang magkakaroon siya ng kahit anong relasyong romantiko. 

Ngunit nakilala niya si Ace. It was a whirlwind romance between her and a guy whom her friends and loved ones considered as a bad match for her. Binalewala ni Helena ang lahat nang iyon, maging ang mga panahong nahuhuli niya si Ace na mayroong ibang babae. Their relationship lasted because every time she wanted to break the relationship up, he would always beg her to take him back kasabay ang pangakong siya ang pakakasalan at mamahalin habambuhay.

When the news of his wife's passing made the headlines, Helena grieved with and for Genesis who continued to show an unfazed, stoic demeanor whenever the media people caught him, even during this time of sorrow. Lalo pa nang mapabalitang isang fan nito ang dahilan kung bakit nasawi ang asawa nito sa isang aksidente. The whole fandom was shaken. There were as many fans who sympathized with their “sister in the fandom” as those who crucified her when they were also once against Genesis' marriage. Eventually, Genesis announced an indefinite hiatus from all activities.

Isang buong taong walang balita ang madla tungkol kay Genesis. And though the members of Chapter Three continued each of their solo activities, wala sa mga ito ang bumabanggit kay Genesis sa mga interview. It's as if Genesis totally disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Ilang taon ang nakalipas, napagpasahan nina Ace at Helena ang magpakasal. But the engagement failed miserably as her womanizing fiancé left her days before their wedding to be with another woman. Nangyari ang bagay na inaasahan niyang mangyari sa panahong hindi na niya inaasahang mangyayari pa iyon.

Nang mga panahong iyon, napuno ng kawalang pag-asa ang mundo ni Helena. At upang takasan ang nakababaliw na kamiserablehan, napagpasyahan ni Helena na maglakbay gamit ang dapat ay honeymoon trip nila ng salawahan niyang ex sa Ilocos.

And as if fate was playing tricks on her, she found Genesis there. The fangirl met her idol face to face for the first time more than five years ago. Both of them nursing their broken hearts and trying to build back their broken spirits...

SOMEONE tapped lightly on Helena's arm that woke her up from her reverie. “Magandang miss, pakisara ng konti ang bibig ninyo at baka mapasukan ng insekto.” The guy jokingly said.

“Oh, Shin. Hi!” she absently said to her friend, still in between dream and reality.

The guitarist chuckled and pinched her nose. “You were so mesmerized by the guy on stage that I was afraid you'll punch me if I disturb you. Nasaan pala ang mga bata?”

Sukat sa sinabi nito ay tuluyan nang natauhan si Helena. She got totally absorbed in watching Genesis onstage that she forgot about the twins. “Oh, my God! Shin, ang mga bata hindi pa bumabalik. Magsi-CR lang daw sila.”

“What?” maging ang lalaki ay nabigla sa sinabi niya. Helena was so protective of her twins that it was uncharacteristic of her to forget them.

Iginala ni Helena ang mata sa lahat ng bahagi ng lugar na naaabot ng paningin niya. “Kanina pa sila nagpunta sa CR, dapat nakabalik na sila ngayon.” She was now gripping Shin's arms in panic.

Shin tried to calm her down by holding her upper arms. “Okay, just calm down, Lei. Stay here just in case bumalik na ang mga bata. I'll look for them backstage.”

Just as Shin turned his back on her, Kandi came rushing towards them. “Thank goodness!” Ngunit dagling kinabahan si Helena nang makitang hindi nito kasama ang kakambal. 

“Nanay!” agad namang yumakap sa kanya ang anak.

Tumabi muna sila upang hindi makatawag ng pansin sa ibang nanonood sa bahaging iyon. “Anak, what happened? And where is Kimbel?” she said as she lowered down to her daughter's height.

“I tried looking for her, Nanay. Sorry po.” nagi-guilty namang tugon ng bata. Lalong sumikip ang dibdib ni Helena. It wasn't Kandi's fault this has happened.

Shin joined them in a squat. His big figure sheltering them from the others. “What happened, Kands? Slowly tell us. Don't worry, your Nanay understands.” Helena turned eyes with appreciation to her friend.

And with that, Kandi calmed down. “I asked Kimbel to go first because the toilet was small. So I guarded the door. When it was my turn, I told her to stand guard and not go away. Pero, Nanay, umalis po siya. Hinanap ko po siya pero hindi ko po siya makita.”

Napapikit si Helena. Sinasabi na nga ba niya at dapat ay sumama siya sa mga ito.

Shin stood up in a while. “Ako na'ng maghahanap sa kanya. Maiwan na kayo rito at baka bumalik naman din agad si Kim. She was probably seen by one of the security guys already.”

“Naku, Shin. Alam mo naman ang batang iyon. Her mischief never ends.” Helena sighed.

Pagkasabi niya noon, biglang nagdilim ang buong stage. 

“EH, SIR, hindi ko rin naman po alam kung paano iko-compensate ang production sa nangyari dahil nga hindi naman po ako ka-yamanan.” Buong kababaang-loob na saad ni Helena sa head of security ng music festival.

Hindi na niya mabilang kung ilang ulit siyang humihingi ng tawad dito. Kasalukuyan silang nasa security office ng event na iyon. Apparently, her daughter squeezed herself into a tight space backstage while escaping the security guy who was trying to catch her. Sumabit ang strap ng jumper nito sa isang switch at iyon ang naging dahilan ng pagkamatay ng supply ng kuryente sa stage. Mabuti na lang at mahusay sa impromptu performances si Genesis, nagawa nitong magpatuloy sa pagkanta sa kabila ng kawalan ng microphone at accompaniment habang napakalma na rin ang audience.

Helena would have stayed where she was and watch Genesis sing acapella while the audience waved their cell phones and light sticks in the air to illuminate the venue. It was always a sight to behold whenever he did that during live concerts. Ngunit mas mahalagang mahanap si Kimbel bago pa ito makagawa ng kung anong ikapapahamak nito. Kaso, huli na pala sila para roon. And that was how they ended up in the event security office.

    Muling napabuntong-hininga ang head of security, isang malaking mamang nagpapaalala kay Helena sa rapper na si Ja Rule. “Naroon na nga po ako, ma’am. Pero ang sabi po ng production head, na stay put lang muna po kayo rito.” Malumanay na tugon nito sa pagsamo niya.

    Habang naroon sila ay nag-uusap naman ang head ng production na may hawak sa music festival, ang banda ni Shin at ang manager niyon, at siyempre, si Genesis, ang Chapter Three, at ang handler nito. Pinag-uusapan ng mga ito ang verdict sa nagawang perhuwisyo ni Kimbel sa event. Nadamay ang Seed sa insidente dahil si Shin ang nag-imbita sa kanila roon kung kaya kargo sila nito.

Hiyang-hiya naman si Helena sa kaibigan. Nagmagandang-loob na nga lang ito sa kanilang mag-iina ngunit mukhang ikapapahamak pa nito iyon. Wala namang magawa si Helena upang remedyuhan pa ang nangyari sapagkat nangyari na iyon. Kung may time machine ba siyang naitatago, eh, bakit hindi? Kaso nga, wala naman siya noon.

She looked at her younger daughter. Siniguro niya ritong hindi siya galit ngunit sinabi rin niyang hindi tama ang ginawa nito at mayroon itong matatanggap na disciplinary action sa kanilang pag-uwi. Hindi ugali ni Helena ang pagalitan ang mga anak sa publiko dahil batid niya ang malaking epekto niyon sa pagtanda ng mga bata.

As if feeling her mother stare at her, Kimbel looked up with repentant eyes. “Nanay, is Uncle Shin mad at me?” her daughter apologetically asked.

Umiling si Helena at hinagod ang buhok nito. “I’m pretty sure he’s not mad. But that doesn’t mean it was okay, anak.”

Maluha-luhang ibinaling nito ang tingin sa kapatid na nasa kabilang gilid ng ina. “Kandi, are you mad at me?”

Umiling naman si Kandi bilang tugon. “I’m not mad at you but I’m not okay either, Kim.”

Tuluyan na itong napaiyak dahil doon. Kinabig na lamang niya ito at pinatahan. “Shh… Hush, baby.”

“I’m so sorry, Nanay. I’m so sorry po.”

Lumayo saglit sa kinaroroonan nila ang mamang kamukha ni Ja Rule at pagbalik ay may dala nang bottled water. Iniabot nito iyon sa kanya at itinuro si Kimbel. Helena mouthed her thanks to the man who simply offered a kind smile. Pagtapos ay tila may narinig ito sa ear piece na suot at tumuwid ng tayo.

Tumango lang ito at bumaling sa kanya. “Ma’am, papunta na raw po dito si Sir Shin. Tapos na raw po silang mag-usap. Siya na raw po ang bahalang mag-explain sa inyo.”

Tumango siya rito. “Salamat po, sir.”