Puhon, Tayo

NOON: Chapter 3

When happiness wraps you in a soothing blanket, it gives you a sense of comfort, securing you inside a fragile glass with the lid tightly closed. But in truth, happiness is fleeting. Happiness is a twin to sorrow and disappointment. My joyful balloon, is stabbed by the needle that is my sister’s sharp tongue, a bubble vanishes into thin smokes of air. Gone unnoticed.

“You have a new shirt and jeans?” agad na bungad sa akin ni Kara nang makapasok ako sa kwarto namin. My hum, in an abrupt stop, hides to the pit of my throat.

I roll my eyes inwardly before I face her. I ready myself for a nonsense argument that is yet to come.

“It’s a long story. Pero nabasa ako kanina kaya naisipan ni Papa na ibili ako ng damit dahil baka magkasakit ako. Aircon ang kotse kaya giginawin ako.” Inayos ko ang aking mga gamit at isa-isang nilagay sa aking school bag bilang paghahanda sa pasukan bukas.

“Hindi mo man lang ako naisip na bilhan? You’re being unfair again, Kora!” I look at my sister in astonishment as if looking to a four-year-old child throwing some nonsense tantrums.

I sigh and look at her before giving back my attention to my things.

“Kara, it’s just a piece of clothes. Can you not make a big deal out of it?”

“What? You’re being a b***h, you know?”

“Sorry. I’m just tired. Don’t worry, I’ll never wear this again.” I sigh in defeat. She starts to sob and the last thing I want is for our mother to find out and reckon me with angry words.

With Kara and I, it’s like honey and bees. We always depend on each other just how a sunflower relies on the sun, how butterflies need nectar from flower to flower. We are always a pair, we always make up each other’s wholeness, a one-half of each other--- identical twins. From the strands of our hair to the tip of our toes, we are very much identical to a point that people can’t identify us except our parents and our little sister. We are each other’s best friend and we are expected to match every single thing that we have, thanks to our mother!

It’s cute, I know. I am amazed by how we look good with matching blouse or skirt when we were young but now that we are already dealing with our unstable teen hormones, I get tired.

Teenagers struggle to find and establish their own identity. But I always find it hard to establish mine because I am always a piece, a half, of my own twin sister. I’m getting sick of it but I have no choice!

“Twinnie swear, Kora?” she leaves her bed and goes to my side of our room. She offers her pinky finger at me. I nod before accepting it.

“Twinnie swear.”

Kara is supposed to be the mature one, the rational twin. But when it comes to sharing things with each other, she’s very sensitive. We should always be equal in material things. I remembered, one of our closed relatives said that twins are each other’s nemesis. Kara gets mad but I just shrug it off.

Alam kong walang katotohanan ang mga sinabi nila. Kahit nag-aaway kami ni Kara, alam kong kasangga pa rin namin ang isa’t isa pagdating sa mga seryosong problema. Our mom might play favorites sometimes but I am sure that she raised us well enough for us to know that sisterhood is the most important thing for twins.

My day never gets better. It’s a myriad of surprises and disappointments. I am quite surprise to meet a guy who shares the same interest to mine, but I am disappointed by how the day ended for the both of us.  

Sana magkita kami ulit. Sana makuha ko ang vinyl record ko!

I take a deep breath and focus my sight to the dancing light of fake stars glued in our bedroom’s ceiling. Kara’s childish whims sips through my energy but those handsome face and tantalizing coffee brown eyes haunt my memory, frightening the sleep to visit me. Ilang beses na akong pagulong-gulong sa kama ko pero hindi pa rin ako dinadalaw ng antok.

Sinubukan kong buksan ang f*******: ko, I click the search engine and type his name hoping to find him but thousands of Tanner appeared and none of them look like him. Hindi yata uso sa kanya ang social media. Sa huli, binalik ko na lang ang aking atensyon sa mga nakikislapang glow in the dark na mga bituin sa kisame.

“Argh!” May pasok pa naman bukas. Siguradong sabaw na naman ako sa klase dahil kulang ako sa tulog.

“Kora? You’re still awake?”

Napatingin ako sa kama ni Kara dahil sa biglaan niyang pagsalita. I smile as if she can see me behind the dim lights around us.

“I can’t sleep.”

“You can sleep beside me, Kora.” I hear the sound of blankets rumpling. Maybe Kara moves to give me space. It’s always been like this for us. I used to snuggle next to her when I feel scared or had a bad dream in the middle of the night.

It would be easy for me if I share the things that’s been bugging my head since I arrived home but I can’t will myself to do it. I feel like the thing I had with Tanner is meant exclusive for Tanner and I. I feel scared of sharing him to someone, even if that someone is Kara.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” nag-aalangang tanong ko. Kung tatanggi ako, siguradong sunod-sunod na tanong mula sa kanya ang matatanggap ko.

“Always. C’mon. We need to be early for class tomorrow.” Kara pats her bed, encouraging me to move.

And so, I did. The moment my back feels the soft mattress, Kara snuggles next to me and wraps her arms around me. Her warmth wraps me in a calm embrace.  She pats my shoulder repeatedly as if I am a kid that she’s trying to put into sleep. A soft smile escapes my lips, the lids of my eyes start to get heavy until they fall shut.

But before I succumb to sleep, those handsome face crosses my memory like a thunder threatening to strike twice. I can’t get Tanner off my mind and I can’t do anything about it. His name, like a permanent tattoo, etched in all spaces of my heart and I can’t take it off. Nagsisi tuloy ako, bakit hindi ako lumingon.

֎֎֎

It’s Monday.

Kung meron man kaming pinaghahandaan tuwing Lunes, iyon ay ang flag ceremony. Pero may isang bagay kaming hindi napaghandaan. Ang long quiz sa World History ni Ma’am Palma. Surprise quiz daw kaya dapat lang na hindi napaghandaan.

Ang antok na nilalabanan ko ay tuluyang nawala dahil sa one to fifteen na identification quiz namin ngayon. Ang pasakalap, dictation pa.

“Can you please repeat the third question, Ma’am?”

Napangisi ako dahil sa tanong ng isa kong kaklase. Alam ko na kung saan ang papupuntahan ng kanyang simpleng tanong.

“What did I say earlier? I will only repeat the question twice. Twice! Is that hard to understand, class?”

Napuno ng kantiyawan ang paligid. Isang pagkakataon para mangapitbahay sa mga katabi naming may mga naisulat na sagot sa papel nila.

“Kora! Mind your own paper!” afatay! Sa lahat ng pwedeng mahuli, ako pa talaga.

“I’m Kara po, Ma’am!” Napangisi agad ako dahil biglang napakunot-noo ang aming guro.

“You are not!” Napatayo si Kara at pilit na ginigiit na ako si Kora. Biglang natuon sa kanya ang atensyon ni Ma’am Palma.

“Dali! Ano sagot sa number five?” bulong ko sa aking katabi at agad siyang siniko.

“Kora! Pag ako nadamay!”

“Hindi ‘yan! Ako bahala sa ‘yo sa English Lit, mamaya. Dali na.”

“Kora, last warning.” Napatawid ako ng upo at alanganing ngumiti. Napuno na naman ng hagikhikan at biruan ang klase.

Kara looks and back gives me the glare. I grin and give her a piece sign. Silent agreement naming magkapatid na huwag maging pasaway sa loob ng klase dahil anino namin ang isa’t isa. It’s always a ripple effect for the both of us.

“Why are you not in your proper seat again, Kora?” Parang gusto nang bumuga ng apoy ni Ma’am pero tanigng ngiti lang ang binigay ko sa kanya.

My proper sit is behind Kara, I am surrounded by her circle of friends and I always get irritated by the way they talk to each other. Masyadong maaarte at kung sino-sino ang pinag-uusapan. I prefer sitting next to my male classmates and some other girls who are lucky enough to be allergic with Kara’s circle since they’re chill and we somehow share the same interest. Kasama ko rin sa taekwando training ang iba naming mga kaklaseng lalaki kaya mas malapit talaga ako sa kanila.

“I prefer sitting here, Ma’am, since some of our teachers always mistook us po.” Lie but it’s an acceptable alibi.

“Kora, kung hindi ka lang honor student, nilipat na kita sa kabilang section.”

“Grabe! Mabait naman ako, Ma’am. I just can’t stand sitting to them sometimes. Masyado silang chismosa, eh.” A grin thrown at the direction of my classmates sitting next to Kara. One retort after another come firing back to me.

I wink at Kara and she immediately get the message. She whispered something to her seatmate and the message spreads like wildfire.

 Minutes passed and our teacher is already distracted. Our quiz finally forgotten. Then we heard the bell. Some fake groan while the others laugh with glee.

“Ipagpatuloy naitn ang quiz niyo bukas. Goodbye class.”

Ang galing!

English literature came and all of us are very attentive to the discussion since it’s about Mythology. Buhay na buhay ang klase at halos lahat ay nagpa-participate. Mga feeling gods and goddesses kasi halos lahat sa aming section. Kulang na lang magyayaan na hanapin an gate papuntang Mt. Olympus.

Magaling magturo ang teacher namin. She inspires me to be like her one day. She’s also our adviser kaya light and friendly talaga ang atmosphere ngayon sa klase.

She is in the middle of telling us about the story of Psyche and Cupid when a voice interrupts her from outside.

“No love can live where there is no trust.”

All our attentions are directed outside, curious of the one who recites the famous quotes in the story we are discussing. A faint familiarity passes through my memory but my eagerness to know what happens to the story matters most.

“Yes, may I help you?” Our teacher walks to the door and face the newcomer. I can’t see him because I am at the last row and a little bit far from the door.

“Good morning, Ma’am. I am a transferee and I am admitted to your class.”

“Oh! Yes. Come inside and please do introduce your name to the class.”

Weird. We’re almost halfway through the school year but the school still accepted transferees. The newcomer smoothly makes his way inside of our classroom. I look at him wide-eye and I feel like my body is morphed back to the day at the fountain.

Tanner! What is he doing here?

He’s all smile while introducing himself but his eyes, those coffee brown eyes that hold thousands of unfathomable emotions keeps on roaming around the classroom until his sight lands on Kara. His smile grows wider, a knowing grin, but Kara look at him blankly. Slowly, his beautiful smile fades, it is replaced by a knot in his forehead. He gives his attention to the other side but before he can look at me, I duck and hide behind the chair in front of me.

My seatmate, Anton, who also happens to be my closest friend also looks at me with full questions in his eyes. I put one single finger in my lips trying to coax him to shut up.

I thought I will never see him again but he’s here, Tanner’s here.

And he’s my classmate!

‘What a play you pulled there, Cupid!’

I reached for my heart and feel its thunderous beat. But it also starts to ache when the image of him smiling sweetly to my twin sister crosses my mind. Double kill!